Work Text:
hanbin's notebook!
pg 25
--
to hao,
okay. i'm not losing this one because it's in my notebook.
now, where do i start?
i had a dream last night.
a crazy one.
but the crazier part is, i can't remember any of it.
okay, that's a lie.
you already know that i forget all my dreams, and all of what i remember is that they were crazy. but this time, i do remember a lot of things from the dream i had last night.
and there's only 1 reason why.
because i saw you.
i saw you in my dream last night.
you were with me, smiling and laughing.
we did fun things together.
we exchanged apologies for avoiding each other.
all of things i thought would be left unsaid were processed and forgiven.
you looked so beautiful, smiling like that.
there was also a part where we entered a room full of the fake "letters" i wrote to you, hanging on the wall in frames.
you chuckled at my words but told me they were good and poetic anyway.
i felt like i was on the moon.
then we somehow got to a bench on a boat dock, where we watched the sunset and had another nice conversation.
don't get me wrong, i remember the sunset being absolutely marvelous.
but it could never beat the sight of you and your beautiful smile.
i forgot how long that went on for, however of course it came to an end.
even though it felt so real.
you got up and said that you'd be right back. i sent you off with a nod and a wave.
and before i knew it, the dreamworld started fading to darkness.
soon after, i see blue.
but it's not anything interesting anymore.
it's just the blue light reflecting from my blue curtains mixed with sunlight.
i don't even process the world around me before i realize that i'm seeing blue.
at that point, i don't even know where i am.
all i know is that you're gone.
and that you've been gone.
i guess it could have been worse if you were still here and had to leave now, making that part of my dream unfortunately true.
but no matter what, i still have to wait for nighttime just so i can see your face again.
- love always, hanbin