Chapter Text
sung._.hanbin: yujin-ah, want to come over for dinner tonight? my mom's making your favorite food
han_yujin: that's nice of you hyung, i'd love to come over if you'd have me
sung._.hanbin: always happy to have you! come over at around 6:30
han_yujin: thank you hyung, see you soon
>>
han yujin is a very observant kid.
being the quiet type of friend gives him more room to see things that others may not.
he can detect the slightest decrease in vitality in his friends' eyes, tiny differences in his friends' behavior, and lots more.
no one but him seemed to notice the way two specific people in his friend group move and interact in tandem, almost like they are two parts of a soul, and what ends up happening if those two parts are separated.
sometimes, he thinks he is too paranoid or overthinking. and sometimes, he is.
but the chances of being right are never zero.
>>
at the sung family dinner table, hanbin's family would probably just think that hanbin's extra jolly today - smiling from ear to ear, laughing a little too loud at yujin's funny stories of the day, and offering to help areum (his little sister) with her homework more than once.
the sung hanbin that yujin knows is a little more balanced with the way he acts. positive, but calm. helpful, but won't go past offering help once.
in yujin's eyes, this could have been caused by many things, but only one could come to mind in this moment.
could this be because of hao-hyung leaving?
the thing is, no one else seemed to notice hanbin's change in behavior or the way he would look at hao with a dreamlike expression he'd never use around others, so instead he tried to convince himself that he's reading too much into the situation. maybe hanbin is actually extra happy these days. maybe it's the summer break effect.
maybe he's glad that hao has moved.
no, that can't be, yujin thought as he sipped another spoonful of his soup, continuing to marinate in his thoughts.
>>
"thanks for inviting me over, hanbin-hyung," yujin said with a smile after finishing the last of his food. "and thank you for making this, auntie."
hanbin's mother pat his head with a chuckle. "any time, yujin-ah. you're still a growing boy." she started clearing out the dishes as she continued, "do you want to stay a while to hang out with hanbin?"
yujin's eyes lit up. hanging out with hanbin was always fun. "that'd be great! thank you, auntie!"
"of course, aegi! i'll text your mom for you." he wasn't ready for the next part, though.
after texting yujin's mom, hanbin's mother went over to the kid and whispered in his ear, "i'm worried about hanbinie. he hasn't been acting like himself since hao-yah left. can you stay with him for a little while? i'm just a bit worried since he's always been isolating himself in his room if there's nothing for him to do."
so it wasn't just yujin going paranoid and insane!
but at what cost?
hanbin-hyung genuinely seems off, yujin thought. even though he was sitting at the dining table with his trademark sweet smile, it didn't seem to reach his eyes. at the last cafe hangout with all of their friends, hanbin acted normal, aside from the fact that he laughed a little too loud at gyuvin's jokes, got caught zoning out twice by matthew, and didn't even finish half of his drink. the rest was left to gunwook, who seemed happy to get another drink; but to yujin, it was a little unsettling, after all hanbin always was one of the first to finish a fun drink at the hangout. of course, yujin could have taken the benefit of the doubt and thought that it just wasn't hanbin's day, but now that the latter's mother confirmed that it wasn't just him noticing, it was time to do some digging.
also, hanbin wasn't one to just sit in his room when there's nothing to do. he'd complain about how there's nothing to do and start spamming their friend group chat.
and so far, there were no messages from hanbin in the group chat since the cafe hangout.
the best part: that was 3 weeks ago.
>>
"let's play some games, yujinie!" hanbin singsonged happily, pulling out all his gaming equipment and turning on the TV to the wii channel. "what do you want to play? you can pick!"
yujin smiled at the notion - he liked to have control over the games played at hanbin's house. all of their friends had wii consoles, but hanbin's was the newest and best quality, so everybody would delegate the "hangout host" role to him and his house. yujin always chose the same game when he got the option (wii sports), but no one would object when he'd ask to play it.
and so he chose wii sports.
hanbin let yujin choose the sports that they would engage in. they ended up playing tennis, bowling, golf, and baseball, which were virtually the only sports that yujin actually knew how to work. they had fun, as per usual, but yujin could still tell that the light wasn't reaching hanbin's eyes. it almost looked like his eyes were hollow, free of any positive emotion or feelings at all.
yet, for some reason, yujin didn't have the heart to ask why he looked so sad.
especially not in this moment, where they should be happy and having fun with their games.
so he stayed quiet and locked in on the heated 1v1 wii tennis match between him and hanbin.
after a long time of going back and forth, yujin won, arms raised in the air in triumph. "haha! take the L, hyung!"
"ugh, come on... i was so close," hanbin groaned in fake annoyance, even though he was still smiling because it was a good game. "good game, yujinie."
"good game, hanbin hyung." yujin took hanbin's hand and shook it semi-formally, eliciting a laugh out of the latter. they cleaned up the gaming equipment together after that, placing the controllers on the shelf they were found on and turning the tv off.
as the tv slowly faded to darkness, hanbin's mother called, "hanbin-ah! can you come to the kitchen?"
hanbin sighed, not wanting to leave yujin alone. "fine. sorry yujinie, just wait here. it'll be quick, i hope." he smiled jokingly over his shoulder as he got up and left his room.
usually, yujin would laugh at something like that, but this time he was too lost in thought as he waved hanbin off.
and now we wait.
yujin explored the room for a few minutes, analyzing childhood awards and smiling at pictures of little hanbin. hanbin didn't mind when his friends looked through his room and stuff, after all his daily mantra was "i have no secrets." now, that seemed funny since it evidently looked like he was actively hiding something.
as he made his way back to where he originally sat, yujin spotted a folded piece of paper in the corner of the room to his right. his gut instinct told him that the paper contained an answer to his questions about hanbin, but he held himself back from taking it since who knows how personal it may be. hanbin is chill with people handling his things, but what is the limit to how personal something is so that it should not be handled by an outside force?
he sat down and fought with himself about this for a few minutes before curiosity caught up to him and the paper was in his hands, open and ready to be examined. on the paper was hanbin's neat script in blue pen, arranged into a short letter addressed to none other than yujin's prime suspect.
and so he started reading.
--
june 3, 20XX - 8pm
to hao,
i hope you're doing well in your new city. what's it like over there? i heard the ocean views are cool.
i don't know exactly where to start, after all i have a lot of things to say. i'll just go one by one, i guess.
i've been thinking of you. a lot.
matthew caught me zoning out during our last function. i deflected his accusation using "summer homework".
yeah right, summer homework, if it came in the form of you.
on the topic of that, i can't do my summer homework without almost turning to my right and asking you for help, even though i know you're not there.
i can't pass by that music store in our neighborhood without thinking i need to get rosin for you or something.
i can't pass by that one auntie's fruit cart without mindlessly asking for durian to give you. the smell doesn't bother me anymore either.
the auntie laughs at me when i do that.
it's just another reminder that you're gone.
and that i can't say what i've always wanted to say.
i love you.
i wanted to tell you today, thinking that we'd be together forever (ok that sounds really cringe). but of course, fate had other plans.
it always does, doesn't it?
well, anyway. gyuvin and ricky miss you a lot. everyone does, truly. they're always like "shi we're missing someone" when all of us are present except you. that's not meant to be an insult. why would i ever insult you, anyway? you're the only thing i think about. all i see is your smile.
but your greed sickens me, you know. always trying to be the only thought in my mind.
hey, at least come visit sometime. and bring a box of mangoes for gyuvin. he'll definitely like the mangoes from over there. funny enough, over the past weekend, he went insane over not having mangoes for one day. literally one. honestly, hao-yah, you're gonna have to get him a lifetime's worth of mangoes for him to live past 50.
well, i await your return, good sir 😂
all jokes aside, i love you and miss you. please come back sometime.
- love, hanbin