Chapter Text
a faint echoing sound erupts like the early morning sun, bringing
me awake.
As my weary eyes open and I try to collect my thoughts. I hear
the noise of the city slowly come to focus. So in this daze, I
suddenly see the incoming traffic, driving straight into me. In a
panic I try to duck to only be met by another vehicle.
No sound erupts of the crash, there is no sudden end, no fade to
dark. I don't feel the pain, or well i don't feel anything weirdly.
The noise of traffic and crowds still entangle my thoughts. I only
open my eyes after I hear a bellowing noise.
it's as if it comes from nowhere and everywhere at once, an
omniscient god and my imagination.
"Hello anyone? What?", in a panic I try to recall my thoughts,
yesterday was quite routine, went to bed like usual? Rasui Aika is
my name, pretty sure.
With no response, I notice how every vehicle seemingly phases
through me, my body being only a faint obstacle. As I realize this
do I notice that I do not feel heavy, my chronic pains no longer
plaguing my bones and muscles. It all seems quite light, easy.
No person passing by seems to take care of me. Bizarre but not
unexpected in this world.
On this highway, right near me. I recognize the street. My
apartment bloc just a couple of meters away, It's decrepit and
stagnant look is hard to forget.
Perhaps i had fell from a height and now am an apparition.
I slowly wade through the stairs up to my apartment on the 6th
floor, surprisingly or maybe not my door is unlocked.
Perhaps someone snuck into my house and killed me in my sleep?
Or I dream walked into incoming traffic?
Pondering the why, I am struck by a different realization in my
bedroom.
There is someone still sleeping in my bed? I rush to investigate to
only be horrified to see, myself.
Possibly this just might be my dead body, and I'm it's specter or
some kinda of disembodied soul?
As I think about how it's somewhat comforting to know that I left
peacefully in my sleep, my alarm goes off and my "body", like
some kind of disembodied marionette goes about it’s routine.
Slowly rising and turning off the alarm clock, getting out of bed
and going about it's day. Surprised myself that I didn't forget
about setting it.
"Hey what the fuck? Can you hear me? Hello?", it does not hear
me as it does a routine, usually I just wake up and wash myself
then just rush to the job, so I'm surprised to see me brushing
teeth, making toast, wasting time on the phone. Looking in it's
eyes, or well mine I guess. feels uncanny, such a weird thing is to
be able to beholden oneself. Feels off.
I see it write all my friends, what a gut-wrenching feeling. I'm
here but not, none of them know that. Replaced by myself who
doesn't just reply to texts weeks later but actually says good
morning like some old internet person.
The puppet goes to work, I see it greet the familiar faces on the
way. Smile at the bus driver giving change, guide someone lost
with directions, shake hands with my colleagues at my job.
At this point, my heart sinks.
Such confidence and glee. Their eyes, not baggy and sad.
Unperturbed by anxiety to speak and help everyone. Unburdened
and positive.
Instead of watching as one of my clumsy co-workers trips and
falls, again in the office, this thing helps them up and collects
their things for them.
Invited to talk with during a break, people seemingly being happy
to see my facsimile around.
Why can't I have had that? This person I wish I was, but it's not
me. Why? Why must I be dead?
My body walks with such brightness, carefulness and ease. Like a
comforting soft light. Was there some mistake I made that made
me this bitter, dead thing?
I want it's life, I want it's freedom.
I can't watch this, it's too much to see myself, do so much I
couldn't have but wanted. It's like watching someone's dream
come true but for you and not you.
Rushing back to the street, trying to hold it all together, wish
whatever this nightmare is would end. Please, why I am I here to
watch? I try to drown everything out.
"I DON'T WANT TO DIE LIKE THIS!?"
like a groaning whale, the soft noise rings again as I sob out loud,
deafeningly
as this happens, I hear a thundering gunshot.
My body-double, I rush to see it, laying on the sidewalk. Wound
in it's back. What? Why?
As I stand up to see the culprit, I see myself. I adjust my sight
and so do I. I looks into my eyes.
Last thing I remember was that same echoing thunder and
lightning.