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The thing you need to know about Evan Buckley is that while he is an incredibly dramatic man—both because he genuinely feels a lot and because he simply has a love for theatrics—Buck’s dramatics do not tend to include crying, no matter which category they fall into. When Buck cries, it’s usually a sign that something is very, very wrong.
Which is why, when Eddie walks into their house, excited to see his boyfriend again after a long shift, only to find him hugging a pillow on the couch with red-rimmed eyes while he sniffles and stares at the TV screen, his heart immediately drops into his stomach.
His duffle bag falls to the floor as he rushes to Buck’s side, cupping his face to turn his head towards him and wiping some tears away in the process.
“Buck, what’s wrong?” Eddie asks a little frantically, Buck’s glassy eyes filled with devastation as they stare into his.
Buck’s lower lip begins to tremble, and Eddie internally braces himself for whatever awful news he’s surely about to receive, because Buck looks so sad and there’s got to be some terrible reason for it, and Eddie just hopes that whatever it is isn’t unfixable; that nobody’s dead or terminally ill or—
“The babies just want their moms.”
Eddie’s brain screeches to a halt at Buck’s words, his spiral put on hold because… huh?
“What?” he asks when Buck doesn’t elaborate.
“The cows, Eddie,” Buck says, his voice tinged with frustration, like Eddie should be able to make sense of what he’s saying without any further context. “The baby cows, they— they just wanna be with their moms, a-and the moms just want their babies, and we’re separating them. That’s like— That’s like if someone took Chris and Theo from us!”
Okay, still not that much context, but enough that Eddie is able to start connecting the dots. His shoulders sag with a sigh, a fond but exasperated smile on his lips.
“Is this about a documentary?” he asks, and Buck nods, still sniffling. Eddie’s gaze lands on the TV, but Buck must have turned it off before he came in, because the screen is black. “What was it about?”
“The meat and dairy industry,” Buck responds miserably before sitting up straighter and leaning closer towards Eddie the way he always does when he’s about to tell him about something he feels passionately about. “And it’s— It’s awful, Eddie. I mean, I knew it was bad, but I just… I just never really thought much about it, you know? But seeing all that footage just…”
He trails off, his bottom lip starting to tremble again.
“It is awful,” Eddie says in agreement, reaching out to wipe another tear from Buck’s face. Because even though he’s never seen anything like the footage Buck is talking about, it’s the kind of thing you just… know and accept, at least about the meat part: the majority of animals we eat had short, cruel lives, and it sucks, but that’s how the industry works, and it’s unfortunately not going to change.
“Then why aren’t we doing anything?” Buck asks, his tone forceful but still laced with desperation. Eddie huffs a small, fond laugh, affection blooming in his chest at how much Buck cares, before giving him a sad smile.
“Buck, we can’t stop factory farming,” he says gently, even though he knows Buck knows this.
“No, but we can stop contributing to it!” Buck responds without hesitation. “We can stop eating meat and dairy and— and eggs, and just… everything that comes from animals. I mean, loads of people are vegan. It can’t be that hard.”
“Okay, I get the meat thing,” Eddie says, a confused frown etched into his forehead. “But why the dairy and eggs? The animals make that anyway, don’t they?”
“But they don’t!” Buck exclaims, waving his hands in the air in frustration that Eddie knows simply stems from the hurt he’s feeling over those animals. “The cows are forcefully impregnated because otherwise they won’t give milk, and then they have their babies taken away from them so we can get the milk. And the male calves are just slaughtered because there’s no use for them.”
And that’s… huh. Eddie had never really thought about that, and he feels pretty stupid all of a sudden. Obviously, he knew that cows only produce milk if they have a calf, so the logical conclusion is exactly what Buck is telling him. And yet, that thought simply never really entered his brain. Not in any permanent way that would’ve made him reflect on it, at least.
Buck goes on to tell him about chickens and how terribly they’re treated, too, and a part of him wants to just cover his ears so he doesn’t have to hear it because the truth is, there’s a lot of food that Eddie just… doesn’t want to give up. Ignorance is bliss and all that.
At the same time, that line of thought fills him with shame because he knows that’s a selfish thing to think.
By the time Buck is done with his rant, the sadness in his eyes has transformed into determination, making him look like a man on a mission who won’t be deterred by anybody. He gives Eddie a short, resolute nod.
“We’re going vegan.”
At the word ‘we’, the image of a big, tasty steak floats into Eddie’s mind, filling him with a feeling of wistfulness. He could try to argue with Buck, but he knows Buck is going to be incredibly stubborn about this. Plus, it would be hard to argue with him when Eddie knows he’s right. He wouldn’t have any decent arguments against Buck’s stance because, truthfully, there aren’t any. None that aren’t selfish, at least.
So Eddie internally waves goodbye to his steak and gives Buck a smile.
“I guess we are.”
One thing about Buck is that when he’s passionate about something, he wastes no time getting started on it.
Like… zero time. Not even the twenty minutes Eddie really wishes he could spend getting some rest on the couch instead of being pulled out of the house and dragged to the grocery store because, according to Buck, they need to check out what vegan stuff is available, and obviously, Buck “can’t just choose on his own, Eddie, this is important.”
They also can’t just go later, because Buck insists on today’s lunch already being entirely vegan, and it won’t be long until Chris comes home from school, and Theo will need to be picked up from daycare, and they’ll be hungry and definitely won’t want to wait to eat for the time it would take Buck and Eddie to get the groceries.
“What about the stuff in our fridge?” Eddie asks on the drive. “Isn’t throwing it away worse?”
Buck furrows his brow, considering this. He clearly knows Eddie has a point, but evidently also doesn’t want to eat the animal products they have left at home. A moment later, his eyes brighten as he comes up with a solution.
“We’ll just give it away!” he announces triumphantly. “I’m sure the 118 won’t complain about some free groceries.”
Eddie thinks about pointing out that that won’t make any difference for the animals, but it’s not worth starting a discussion over. He’ll just let Buck have this.
At the store, Buck walks through the vegan section with excitement akin to that of a kid in the candy aisle, and Eddie just trails after him, smiling fondly and nodding along whenever Buck suggests a product to put in their cart. Honestly, there are way more options than Eddie expected, though he supposes the real question is whether they actually taste like what they’re advertised as. He finds it a bit hard to believe that the vegan steak Buck just picked up is going to taste like the one Eddie was fantasizing about earlier, but he’ll give it a try.
They leave the store with two full bags of groceries, and Eddie is actually kind of excited to taste-test everything and see how it holds up against the real thing. Buck definitely is, too, if the skip in his step is anything to go by.
Once they’re back home, Buck starts sorting through their fridge, separating all the naturally vegan products from the animal products that they still have left. He puts all of those on the top shelf and then fills the rest of the shelves with all their new stuff. When he’s done, he smiles in satisfaction, looking at his work proudly, and Eddie can’t help but smile at the sight, too.
A little while later, Buck gets started on lunch while Eddie goes to pick Theo up from daycare. Buck decided to start out with a simple meal today: spaghetti bolognese with soy mince as a meat replacement. They’re both a little anxious about how Theo and Chris will react to this sudden change in their diet, so they figure a meal they already know and love, made with only a little change, will be a good introduction. For Buck and Eddie, too, honestly. It’ll be an adjustment for everyone.
When he walks back into the house with Theo in tow, the boy immediately tries to take off running towards the kitchen, where he knows Buck is, based on the delicious food he can smell coming from it, but Eddie manages to quickly grab the back of his shirt before he gets very far.
“Shoes first, buddy,” he says in what Buck calls his Dad Voice—simultaneously stern and fond.
Theo throws his head back with a dramatic sigh before kicking off his shoes, which land in the middle of the hallway where Eddie will definitely have to pick them up, so nobody stumbles over them. Eddie shakes his head with an affectionate smile as Theo takes off again, warmth spreading through his chest when he hears Buck joyfully greeting Theo a few moments later, telling him he’s missed him.
He picks up the shoes and puts them to the side before following Theo into the kitchen, where he’s perched on Buck’s hip, who’s standing by the stove stirring the sauce.
Buck turns his head towards Eddie with a bright smile when he hears him come in, and Eddie steps forward to give him a kiss on the cheek in greeting, even though it hasn’t been very long since they last saw each other. Even short amounts of time apart make being together feel infinitely more extraordinary.
“Chris home yet?” Eddie asks, and Buck nods.
“He wants to hang out with his friends later, and I told him it was fine if he finishes his homework first, so he’s getting started on it,” he says, and Eddie can’t help the feeling of pride that comes over him at how casually Buck tells him this. When they first got together, Buck still always looked to Eddie for every decision about Chris, even small ones like this, clearly terrified of overstepping. In the seven months since then, Eddie has made a point of reassuring him that he doesn’t need to check in with Eddie about every little thing; that he always has and always will trust Buck’s judgment regarding Chris.
And it took a while, but that brings Eddie even more joy—getting to this moment. Where Buck makes a decision so easily and tells Eddie about it without making it sound like a question, or like he’s bracing for Eddie to tell him he’s out of line.
“I wanna stir,” Theo announces, immediately leaning down dangerously far and trying to steal the wooden spoon out of Buck’s hands. Buck drops the spoon quickly so he can steady Theo.
“Careful, buddy,” he says. “We don’t want you to fall, right?”
Theo nods but wiggles impatiently in Buck’s arms, trying to reach for the spoon again.
“But I wanna stir!”
“What do we say?” Buck asks patiently.
“Please?”
Buck smiles, and Eddie does too, watching as Buck carefully bends down a bit so Theo can reach the spoon.
“Good job,” Eddie praises, and Buck nods seriously before saying, “Excellent stirring skills, good sir,” which makes Theo giggle.
Not long after, the food is done, and Buck sets Theo down, telling him to go grab Chris. Theo doesn’t need to be told twice. He loves Chris, and normally, he probably would’ve already gone to his room and either begged to play with him or sat by his side, watching whatever Chris was doing with wide eyes as if it were the most interesting thing he’s ever witnessed. He was just preoccupied with his sauce stirring duties today.
The two of them walk back in together a few minutes later, and the fact that Theo always waits for Chris never fails to make Eddie smile. It’s a well-known fact that Theo has a lot of energy—more than the average toddler—and that, if he could, he would probably only ever run instead of walk. But even without prompting from Buck or Eddie, he quickly picked up on the fact that Christopher can’t move as fast as him. So now, whenever they walk together, Theo slows down and instead opts to get his energy out by either spinning in circles or jumping up and down while he moves forward. On rare occasions, he’ll also choose to just do cartwheels, which Buck and Eddie have had to remind him multiple times not to do when they’re out somewhere, because they’ve gotten more than a few stares and, more importantly, there’s all kinds of stuff on the ground that he could hurt himself on.
“Hey, Dad,” Chris says when they enter.
“Hey, bud.”
He presses a kiss into his curls, grateful that his son still lets him do that without complaint, even now that he’s a teenager. The three of them sit down while Buck grabs the food.
“Hey, you guys wanna know something awesome about this meal?” Buck addresses the kids, excitement coloring his voice as he carries the pot to the table and sets it down. He’s met with two questioning looks. He grins at them. “No animals had to suffer for this.”
Christopher’s gaze goes from Buck to the pot of spaghetti and back to Buck, blinking at him.
“It’s spaghetti bolognese,” he says slowly, like he’s a little concerned about Buck’s mental capacities, and Eddie snorts a laugh.
“Vegan spaghetti bolognese,” Buck clarifies, still grinning, and Chris’ expression turns into one of understanding, while Theo just looks more confused.
“What’s vegan?” he asks, tilting his head at him like a puppy.
“Vegan means that the food has nothing that came from animals,” Buck explains, kneeling on the ground to get on Theo’s level. Earlier, Buck explained to Eddie at length that, actually, veganism is a philosophy and that it’s not just about food, but about opposing and avoiding all forms of animal exploitation, but Theo’s attention would already be elsewhere by the time Buck got through even half of that explanation, so this is easier. “You know how normally there’s meat in this sauce, like from a pig or a cow?”
Theo nods.
“Well, I was thinking it’s actually not very nice of us to eat those animals,” Buck continues. “Because they wanna be alive just like you and me, don’t you think?”
Again, Theo nods.
“So this time, I used something that’s made from plants! And that’s what I’m going to do with all of our meals from now on. I won’t use animals anymore. Or their milk, because that belongs to their babies.”
“But I love milk,” Theo protests at the same time that Chris says, “Wait, we’re going vegan?”
Buck turns to Chris first.
“You’re old enough to make your own choices, but I’ll only be buying and making vegan food from now on,” he says unapologetically, and Chris shrugs, turning towards the table and reaching for the spaghetti.
“Okay,” he responds. “As long as you still cook for us.”
Buck huffs a laugh, shaking his head fondly, and looks at Theo again.
“There’s milk that doesn’t come from cows or other animals,” he explains. “And I’m sure we’ll find something you like just as much, okay?”
Seemingly satisfied with that answer, Theo reaches for his plate and holds it up in a silent demand for someone to put food on it, which Eddie does without hesitation.
“What do we say, Theo?” Buck prompts as he sits down next to Eddie.
“Thank you!”
“You’re welcome, buddy,” Eddie smiles while Theo is already digging into his meal.
Eddie reminds himself to keep an open mind as he takes a bite of his own, and as he chews, he’s surprised to find that he actually can’t taste a huge difference. Sure, it doesn’t taste exactly like the meat that’s usually in this, but it’s definitely not bad.
“This is really good, Buck,” Eddie compliments, unable to keep the note of surprise out of his voice, and Buck smiles at him brightly.
“Right?” he agrees eagerly, having just swallowed his own first bite.
“Yeah, it basically tastes like always, “ Chris says, and Buck beams. Theo doesn’t share his opinion verbally, but if the way he’s shoveling spaghetti into his mouth is anything to go by, he also likes it as much as the non-vegan version he’s used to.
Maybe this won’t be as difficult as Eddie thought.
Throughout the rest of the day, Buck spends his time looking up vegan recipes, doing a whole lot of research on how to raise a child on a vegan diet while still making sure they’re getting all the nutrients they need, and sifting through just about every product he can find in their house that has even the slightest potential of not being vegan. As it turns out, the body lotion they both use isn’t vegan, so Buck makes Eddie promise he won’t buy it again once it’s empty. The same thing goes for their laundry detergent.
Eddie never even considered that those things could contain animal products, and it’s a little unsettling if he’s being honest; just how far the exploitation goes, and how unaware we are of it.
Well, unaware of these parts at least. Because yes, he may not have known the exact conditions of the slaughterhouses that put meat in their grocery stores, but he still knew parts of it. Everybody does. It’s just easier to live in ignorance than to accept that you’re contributing to something so awful, and that if you want to stop, you’ll have to confront the fact that you’re going to have to inconvenience yourself in some ways.
But maybe he’s finally ready to do just that.
“Who wants free groceries?” is how Buck greets everybody on their next shift, entering the firehouse loft with a full bag in one hand and Eddie’s hand in the other.
He’s met with confused faces and raised eyebrows from their friends.
“Why are they free?” Ravi asks, eyeing the bag with curiosity.
“Because they contain animal products,” Buck explains, which doesn’t clear up a lot for anyone.
“So?” Hen asks.
“Buck decided our family is going vegan,” Eddie explains, and he can tell that the words ‘our family’ make Buck beam even without looking at him.
“Vegan?” Chimney asks, his tone not judgmental but definitely surprised. “Why?”
He gets his answer in the form of a five-minute-long monologue from Buck that gets so passionate he has to set down the bag and drop Eddie’s hand so he can gesticulate with his own, which Eddie does not pout about, thank you very much.
“Wait, does that mean you’ll only be making vegan food for the firehouse, too?” Harry asks once Buck is done.
“Yup,” Buck responds, popping the P. There’s a sharp edge to his voice now that wasn’t there before. “And if anybody has a problem with that, they can start cooking for themselves.”
“Hey, I was just wondering,” Harry says, raising his hands in surrender, and Eddie huffs a laugh, putting his hand on Buck’s shoulder and squeezing.
“Down, boy,” he teases. Sometimes he forgets how menacing Buck can seem to people when he’s mad or, in this case, on the verge of getting mad. To Eddie, an angry Buck has always seemed more like a puppy gnawing at your leg that you just can’t help but find adorable, even as it’s causing chaos.
Nobody else voices any dismay either, which isn’t surprising. Their friends’ accepting reaction to all this was to be expected. However, unfortunately, it was also to be expected that some of the co-workers who they aren’t close with would not react so positively. During lunch, Johnson makes a snide remark about how, if this is the stuff Buck and Eddie are eating from now on, they better hope no one will need them to carry them out of a burning building. Hastings proudly announces that he’ll make sure to eat an extra steak at home just for Buck, clearly thinking himself very funny, though Johnson is the only one who laughs.
Chimney tells them to cut it out, and Eddie tries to let it roll off his back, but he sure wouldn’t mind having some very loud words with them. Buck clearly feels the same way, if his clenched jaw is anything to go by.
But the tension is alleviated a bit when the others compliment the meal, telling Buck he did a great job.
“You think Bobby would be up for experimenting with some recipes with me?” Buck asks a while later when they’re on the couch, his head in Eddie’s lap, and Eddie scoffs.
“Are you kidding?” he says. “He’d love that.”
There’s truly no doubt in his mind about it. Bobby adores cooking with Buck and coming up with new things together, and if anything, he’ll just take the whole vegan thing as an exciting new challenge.
He’s right, and by the end of the week, Buck and Bobby have tried their hands at a bunch of new meals and baked goods. As it turns out, May has actually been vegan for a few months already, unbeknownst to Buck and Eddie, so Bobby isn’t completely new to the concept of vegan cooking. A small amount of their attempts miss the mark, but most of them are delicious, at least in Eddie’s opinion. Chris and Theo are in agreement with him most of the time, too.
Before Eddie knows it, it’s been over a month since Buck declared that they’re going vegan, and he can’t see himself ever going back. It feels good to eat without having to ignore that he knows, somewhere deep down, that he’s doing something wrong. And taste-wise, there isn’t a lot that he’s missing.
“Hey,” Buck says one evening as they’re standing in the kitchen doing the dishes together. “I never thanked you for just… going along with the whole vegan thing.”
Eddie smiles.
“It’s you, Buck,” he says easily. “That’s far from the biggest thing I’d do for you.”
Buck smiles back, his eyes filled with emotion. Then, after a few seconds, his smile morphs into more of a grin.
“Hey,” he says again, gently knocking his shoulder against Eddie’s. “You’re my soymate.”
His grin widens as he looks at him, clearly very proud of his joke, and Eddie huffs a laugh, rolling his eyes fondly.
“Idiot.”
“You love me.”
Eddie’s expression softens, unable to hide the earnestness behind his answer.
“Yeah,” he says, thinking about how glad he is that they made it here, to this life that they get to spend together, where Buck’s choices automatically include Eddie, too, because they’re a unit. Thinking about how he wouldn’t want it any other way. “I do.”