Chapter Text
Dazai hadn’t brought anything with him that day. He surely wasn’t planning on staying alive that day, either. Or any day for that matter. He didn’t bring his phone, a change of clothes, a brush, nothing. The idea of brushing his hair when he didn’t have the intention of having a head to brush by sunrise made him want to laugh.
As he walked up to the platform, he saw an awfully short figure with tussled ginger hair. Great, Dazai thought bitterly, exactly what he needed. Somebody else.
He figured the stranger would ignore him. Dazai had yellowing bandages on his neck and arms, was dressed in horrifically stained gray sweatpants and a matching gray sweater. He probably reeked, thinking of it. Yuck. Unfortunate side effect of being chronically suicidal; Dazai often forgot about his hygiene. Usually his medication helped him remember that, but the bandaged teen had been without medication for a while. Dazai hadn’t slept in a while either. How long, he couldn’t really recall. His hair hadn’t been brushed in days, sticking out in every direction.
“What are you doing here so early?”
A gruff voice, probably coming from the ginger boy snapped Dazai out of his thoughts.
“Catching a train!~” The teen chirped, his voice far too cheerful for somebody planning on ending it.
The boy furrowed his brow, staring at Dazai, “…Where to?”
“Somewhere.”
Dazai hummed vaguely, putting his bandaged hand into his pocket. He smiled at Chuuya, but he didn’t smile back.
“Hm.”
“What’s your name?”
Dazai definitely was not anticipating making friends with someone he met at a train station at three in the morning.
“Chuuya Nakahara.”
The stranger— Chuuya, had heterochromia. Blue and brown. Dazai found it beautiful. He’d never met somebody in real life with heterochromia.
“I’m Osamu Dazai.”
Chuuya looked at him with an expression Dazai couldn’t quite read. Looking at him, Chuuya looked just as disheveled as Dazai. The ginger wore his school uniform, the sleeves rolled up and nothing to dress code standard, his eyes looking just as tired as Dazai imagined his own did. So, Chuuya went to his school. That’s nice. The ginger also had a small backpack with him.
But Dazai wasn’t in the mood to ask about school, or why he looked so dead. He was slowly becoming irritated. Chuuya ruined the peace of what was supposed to be his final mark on the world.
Maybe when the train came he’d still do it.
“You do know the train doesn’t come until..”
Chuuya mimed checking a watch, and at that Dazai rolled his eyes.
“Three forty.”
“So we have forty minutes to burn! How fun..”
Sarcasm dripped off his words. Dazai did not know he’d be waiting here for forty whole minutes. He might as well die from hypothermia before the train even comes. How did Chuuya even know that?
“I have an app,” Chuuya answered, almost reading Dazai’s mind.
“Wow, Chuuya must ride trains a lot.” Dazai mused, his eyes slitting over to Chuuya.
Chuuya walked away from Dazai, going to get something from a vending machine.
Dazai watched him from his peripheral vision. This stranger, if he could even call him that, was short and fiery. Interesting.
Chuuya kicked the machine, “Overpriced junk..” Dazai heard him mutter with a set of curses. This intriguing boy cursed like a sailor and was seemingly unashamed.
“You know, violence rarely solves vending machines.” Dazai called out to him.
“Shut up.”
Chuuya then looked Dazai up and down, locking eyes with him. His eyes lingered on Dazai’s yellowing bandages.
“…What are you even doing out this late?“
“I could ask you the same. Don’t you go to my school?”
Dazai hummed, putting his hands into his hoodie pocket. Deflect, deflect, deflect.
Chuuya paused, letting his hand drop. He seemed to be contemplating something. “Yeah. You’re a junior, aren’t you? Half the teachers talk about you.”
“Yep. That’s me!~ I’m sure they have nothing but good things to say,” Dazai let out a dry laugh, one that didn’t reach the rest of his face.
Chuuya snorted, “If you count ‘walking suicide risk’ positive, then yeah.”
Dazai’s grin widened. He was so used to people treating him like fragile glass, someone who purposely prodded at the wounds he left open felt refreshing. It was probably something his school counselor and therapist and most likely every medical professional would frown upon, but it made him feel normal.
“That’s so mean!” Dazai pouted, crossing his arms, “Chuuya is so mean, and we only just met!”
“Truth hurts, doesn’t it?” Chuuya countered, his voice rough from the cold. The boy had his hands stuck in the pockets of his school blazer. Under the street lamps light, Chuuya’s dual toned eyes shined. “If you don’t want people to call you an active risk, maybe take care of yourself.”
Dazai rested his back against the pillar of the station, the cold metal biting through the thin fabric of his sweater. The bitter cold grounded him. His eyes tracked Chuuya’s every move, looking at the boy.
“And what’s Chuuya’s excuse?” Dazai tilted his head playfully, a grin on his face, “You’re dressed for a fight, and you’re bullying your poor, mentally ill underclassman!” Dazai pouted playfully, continuing,
“Is this how you treat everyone, or am I special?”
“Yeah, you’re ‘special’ alright..” Chuuya muttered. He opened up a bag of chips from the vending machine, snacking on them. “I’m here because I’m traveling to Tokyo.“
“What? That’s such a coincidence, me too!~”
“Really?” Chuuya said, his tone reeking of disbelief. His eyes slit over to Dazai, and he continued, “The three forty train is real empty, so if you’re gonna mope make sure to do it in the last car.”
“Awww!~ Chuuya wants to sit next to me!” Dazai mimed being a damsel in distress, putting a hand to his forehead, “How romantic!”
“I just said the opposite!” Chuuya yelled, before lowering his voice, “I’d rather lay on the tracks than sit with you!”
Dazai let out a genuine chuckle, and the sound echoed in the empty street. “Careful, Chuuuuuuya, that’s my line!”
How ironic, Dazai mused. He was planning on jumping in front of a train car before he found his new friend. Well, he annoyed this new friend more than anything. And Chuuya likely only tolerated him. But, hey! Dazai made an upperclassman tolerate him. Progress.
—
The train pulled into the station with a loud metal screech, making Dazai wince. When the doors opened, the air felt stale and heavy, but it was preferred to freezing outside.
Dazai looked down. One step was all it took, one step and he’d be gone. That’s what he was here for anyways, right?
“Oi.”
Chuuya motioned for Dazai to follow him onto the train.
Chuuya stepped in first, Dazai noticing his heavy boots going up the train. Dazai shortly followed, wondering about his upperclassman. Was he some kind of punk? Alternative?
Dazai saw Chuuya walk to the very back of the train car, and he just followed, plopping right next to Chuuya. The ginger dropped his backpack on the ground with a thud.
“Thought you said I should sit in a different car?” Dazai said, a grin spreading on his face.
Chuuya put his hands in his pocket, rolling his eyes, “Somebody has to babysit you.”
Dazai blinked.
Nobody had volunteered to stay with him for long amounts of time.
“You’re just too kind!~”
Chuuya muttered something Dazai didn’t catch. But it was fine.
What would Dazai even do in Tokyo? He’s just following whatever Chuuya does, he didn’t exactly have a plan. Well, he did have one but it was rudely interrupted by a certain redhead.
Maybe after Chuuya got off he could just come back to Yokohama. Problem was, Dazai knew next to nothing about trains or train routes. He only came so early because he was positive nobody would be there. But Chuuya was there and foiled it all.
Dazai bit his lip, leaning his head back.
Dazai let his eyes wander to his seat mate, seeing him playing a mobile game. Boring. He was hoping he’d have something to eavesdrop on, considering he didn’t have a bag or anything.
Dazai rested his head against the cold window.
Tokyo.
He never really wanted to see it, maybe he’d get off at the first stop. Maybe the last.
Maybe he’d just follow his new friend around.
Beside him, Chuuya kept playing his game. Every few seconds, Dazai could feel Chuuya’s gaze on him. Almost like Chuuya was trying to make sure Dazai was still there.
Dazai looked away before the ginger could realize he noticed.