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"Brendon... if I could, then I would.."
...
"you promised you wouldn't do this to me, Ry."
"I know, bren.."
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Ryan and Brendon had been orbiting each other in an odd way lately. too close to be friends lingering near each other, but too distant to be lovers. it was almost like they were both scared of getting too close and burning up in each other's atmosphere. and it was getting frustrating.
they were in-between albums, and staying in the mountains, currently both sitting in the grass somewhere far enough away from the cabin that it was just them two staring at the skyline as the sun slowly leaves for the night, making for an orange sky and a lukewarm evening.
Brendon was pointing at clouds and laughing about whatever, Ryan was admiring the boy beside him while he weaved small yellow flowers together into a daisy chain.
"Ryan.. where do you think we'll be after? the album, I mean." Brendon turned to look at Ryan, his smile remaining, only more serious now. Ryan bites the corner of his mouth, thinking.
"well.. I mean, who really knows. we could be anywhere."
that makes Brendon frown slightly. "but don't you have any guess? somewhere you want us to be?"
Ryan shakes his head, smiling as he ties the daisy chain into a crown. "sure I do. but sometimes we don't get to pick."
"do you, bren?"
Brendon seems less content with that answer than Ryan would have hoped, watching Ryan's hands with intrigue. "of course. I want us to be where we are now. I want us to be together."
"I would have assumed something a little more specific than that." his smile widens as he leans closer, reaching out to put the crown onto Brendon's head, his eyes sparkling proudly.
"well so would I, but sometimes we don't get to pick."
Ryan leans back on his hands, Brendon adjusting the flowers in his hair with pink cheeks. "I guess I had that one coming."
...
"seriously, Ry.. I don't want you to disappear after this." Brendon sighs and lies back in the grass, watching the clouds with worry in his eyes. he'd had to convince Ryan to stay for another album, Ryan had wanted to step away from the fame right after their last tour. to say he was scared of Ryan leaving would be justified.
"Brendon.. I know you're worried about it." he joins Brendon in the grass, lying on his stomach.
"but I wont leave. in your heart.. in your mind. I'll stay with you for all time." his voice trails out towards the end, their eyes meeting with an intensity that said Ryan was being sincere.
"I'll go wherever you will go." he whispers, brushing his fingers through Brendon's hair.
and Brendon believed him.
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"maybe I'll find out a way to make it back someday.."
...
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