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Daveed Diggs was a theater dream come true armed with a sharp mind and a nimble tongue. When Tommy Kail had relayed to him that he was keeping Daveed abreast on the Hamilton readings, Lin became giddy as 5-year-old in a candy store. ‘Great! That means I can write even faster raps!’ he’d said while itching to grab his notebook.
Daveed’s talent had acted as a conduit for his creativity. He'd started imagining the most insane rap rhythms knowing they’d be consumed, perfected then elevated by the west-coast rapper. He was so very thankful to Tommy for bringing Daveed in on the ground floor. It was becoming that he couldn’t even begin to image Lafayette and Jefferson being played by anyone else (Which was making choosing an understudy even harder).
Hamilton was Lin’s baby. And after a seven-year gestation period he was soon going to bring his creation into the world. And like an actual child he wanted to assemble not only a cast, but a family that would help Hamilton grow. He knew Daveed would be there to take his show to new heights with his energy both on and off stage.
Lin knew this. Which was why he was so anxious when got a phone call to meet Daveed so close to rehearsal time.
Something in his voice hadn’t seemed right.
He’d made his way to the small hotel where Daveed was staying while in New York.
When the hotel room door opened Daveed, donned in loose jeans and an Oakland T-shirt, gave him a weak ‘hey’ before inviting Lin inside.
“That’s not the sound of a man about to dazzle the world with his musical talents. What’s going on, man?” Lin asked, cutting right to the chase. Daveed made his way to the couch in the room and sat heavily, bringing his arms to his stomach mirroring someone who was about to be sick. His eyes lifted to Lin in a look of nervous uncertainty.
“I’m not going to lie to you Lin. I’m really freaking the fuck out.”
Lin made his way to the couch but opted to sit on the footstool in front of Daveed so he could look the rapper face to face.
“This isn’t like you,” Lin said in a slightly bemused tone. This was a man born for the stage, and this was hardly the first time the Oakland native would hold the spotlight. Lin’s twisted gut had the words gunning from his mouth before he could stop them.
“Daveed. Do you want to quit the show?”
Daveed’s hesitation in answering shortened Lin’s breathing.
This really couldn’t be happening.
“Talk to me, Diggs. I wanna help you.” He placed a firm hand on the taller man’s knee, trying to be as soothing as possible while his heart continued an uneasy rhythm.
Daveed chewed his bottom lip as if he were chewing his words, trying to shape them with his tongue and teeth before he finally spat it out.
“I just want to make sure you don’t want me to quit the show, while there’s still time to find someone else. I wouldn’t even be mad at you.”
Lin blinked and Daveed continued.
“When Tommy told me about this show and let me listen to the music, my mind became one track. I wasn’t gonna let anyone take my place at the readings. Now I kinda feel like I took this part rather than earning it from you. And Tommy kept saying—”
“Tommy loves you. He would never say you weren’t good enough—” Lin began jumping to conclusions. He honestly couldn't see the pieces that gave Daveed the insipid image that he could be so easily replaced.
“Nah, nothing like that. He just really put into perspective how big this is for you. And it would kill me if I were the one to trip it up somehow. I mean, I still can’t do my damn choreography. I just want you to be sure you want to use me.”
Lin let out a relieved laugh, his heart attack successfully subverted. This he could handle. He remembered a similar situation when Ramos almost flipped out being in his 21 Chump Street. He was touched his friends held his shows in such high regard, but he wished they’d reciprocate that upon themselves.
“Daveed, man, you can’t possibly think there is anyone I’d choose for this part other than you. You’re a force of nature. You were born for this!”
The taller man groaned, his hands cradling his head as if to ease a headache. His worry was still orbiting him in a nauseating cloud.
“C’mon,” Lin grabbed Daveed’s wrists to gently prise his hands away. “Head up. I know what’ll prove you are my Neo.”
Daveed gave a deep chuckle to the reference, lifting his head to meet Lin’s eyes.
“Okay. And what did you have in mind, Morpheus?”
Lin grinned.
“Role playing!” he chirped. “You just need to get yourself more in-tune with the characters. You’ll become so in sync with them, you won’t know where you end and the other characters begin!”
“An' 'ow long do you zink you can stand me talking like zis?" Daveed teased letting his practiced French accent curl his words. "Zhere ‘re so many words I do not… ‘ow you say, ‘know’?”
Lin knew Daveed was just playing around, but just like in their first reading, Lin saw ‘it’; That unmistakable charm that constantly bled through this man’s perfect smile. Lin could see Lafayette’s character adding a twinkle to Daveed’s eyes, a playful mischief that was never written into any script.
“How about we start with Jefferson,” Lin suggested. “The only one in the show with a bigger ego than Lafayette. That’ll get your confidence right up there.”
Daveed scrubbed his face with his hands almost like he was rubbing away his insecurities.
“Okay, but be in character too? Jefferson’s an asshole. It'll be easier for me to be a dick to you if I’m not actually catching attitude with my boss.”
“Sure. I’ve been writing non-stop for seven years,” Lin purposely alluded. “Hamilton is always just a hairstyle away.”
“Alright then,” Daveed conceded. He reached up to pull the hair tie from the mass of curls atop his head. His hair billowed out like an explosion. Lin held his hand out and Daveed promptly dropped the accessory in his upturned palm.
They both primped their hair for their respective parts. As Lin was putting his hair in Hamilton’s ponytail a few strands fell loose and Lin tried to brush them back.
“Hn. Look at you. Always such a mess. Remind me why I let you into my beautiful home?”
Lin’s eyes snapped to Daveed in a bit of confusion. But he quickly realized he wasn’t looking at a rapper from Oakland California. His body language shifted completely. His body became more open, more relaxed. His posture gave the illusion he was sat upon a throne as opposed to a floral upholstered couch.
Jefferson was here.
Annoyance flushed Lin’s face, Hamilton’s automatic response to Jefferson’s permanently upturned nose. Hamilton was bubbling inside him. And when ‘Jefferson’ snorted in their brief silence, Hamilton finally broke the surface.
“So you can say you’ve done one thing right in your life,” ‘Hamilton’ snapped. “You wanted to talk about state taxes so I’m here. Now how about you climb down from that high horse before I knock you off.”
“You know on my high horse is where I belong, especially in relation to you.” ‘Thomas’ said, crossing his legs and laying his arms across the back of the couch. “I’m just glad you had the decency to sit on the footstool. The couch is for people, Hamilton.”
‘Hamilton’ had to fight the urge to try and shove his way onto the couch. He wasn’t going to win any respect by validating ‘Jefferson’s’ childish claim that the couch held some significance. His muscles bunched with irritation to keep his temper in check.
“Funny. Because at the moment there’s a braying ass sitting there. Maybe you should do something about that.”
“Watch it, Hamilton. Or I’ll send you back to your daddy Washington with your tail clutched between your legs.” ‘Jefferson’ flicked his hand as a dismissive gesture.
Under Hamilton’s irritation was Lin’s elation. Daveed was nailing all the nuances he’d dreamed of for Jefferson: the conceit, the quick barbs, the lack of self-awareness (And of course that now quintessential accent Daveed uses). But the Californian was one step further. Lin didn’t want people to hate the character of Jefferson. Yes, the character he imagined was an insufferable snob, but he was also as charming as the label ‘southern gentleman’ allowed. As much as you wanted to punch him, he’d still lure you in with his hypnotizing smile and poise.
But that didn't stop 'Hamilton’s' hands from clenching and unclenching, showing he was closer to punching ‘Jefferson’ than not.
‘Hamilton’ stood up bearing down a dark look. Something feral and dangerous. His position from above gave him more certain authority.
“You would do well to keep Washington out of your mouth.” 'Hamilton' growled. 'Jefferson' stood up too, but slower and with a predatory grace. He didn’t shy away from their hostile proximity. He inched even closer, galvanizing the already charged air between them.
“Keep him out of my mouth so he can be in yours?” A pointed look at 'Hamilton's' lips and a suggestive raise of an eyebrow made ‘Jefferson’s’ meaning loud and clear. “I knew that tongue of yours had other talents other than to piss me off. Are you a good boy for everyone in the capital or is the president his own special case.” A second pointed look from ‘Jefferson’ and Lin took a great pause when he felt Hamilton’s pulse flutter—
—And not with rage.
What the hell?
The reaction was a surprise both in and out of character, especially since it felt so natural. The bass in 'Jefferson’s' voice, his accent becoming thicker, the flicker in his gaze; All those things amalgamated and flooded his stomach with warmth and…
Was he imagining it? Was there… sexual tension between Hamilton and Jefferson?
It was almost too much at once. Where in the hell was Daveed even getting this from? Was he trying to make this into a joke?
Lin searched with an open mind and found nothing but his own lyrics being spat back into his face.
You’re nothing without Washington ‘behind’ you.
Oh, Daddy’s calling.
Or the many innuendos that came from ‘Room Where it Happened’ especially when Jefferson seemed to revel at the idea of Hamilton humiliated and begging—
And holy shit.
He’d never considered that interpretation of the events before. Jefferson would totally say those things to get a rise out of Hamilton (In one way or another so it seemed). That heat born whenever the two were placed in a room together could definitely lead in the direction Daveed was pointing.
And the pugnacious Hamilton was so easy to rile up. Fighting with reckless abandon is what gave him purpose. The rivalry and passion exuded when sparring against Jefferson would be another fix for Hamilton. It would be another intellectual affair for him to fall prey to. If explored, who knew where it would have lead considering Hamilton’s hinted proclivities for the same sex.
Lin’s brain turned on just in time to see the light of Jefferson begin to fade from Daveed’s eyes. His bottom lip was being pulled in between his teeth in apparent worry. Lin almost broke character to put Daveed at ease. He knew his silence had dragged on for a bit too long. But now he was clear in their direction and he wanted more. Lin wanted to pull everything from these characters until they were completely transparent.
Pressing play, Hamilton took over and positioned him, tilting his chin up to recapture ‘Jefferson’s’ attention and dropping his lids so his eyes would become hooded with challenge. Lin let a discreet nod slip hoping that Daveed would get the hint. The Oakland native got the message and let a small breath out his nose and soon Jefferson's pomp relit in Daveed’s eyes in acknowledgement that they were still playing their game.
Lin’s lip twitched which Hamilton transformed into a smirk. ‘Hamilton’ cocked his head and finally retorted:
“Jealous?”
Easily back on track with their game, ‘Jefferson’ threw his head back with a one-beat humorless laugh.
“‘Jealous’? Jealous of what, Hamilton?”
“That Washington has my obedience.”
‘Hamilton’s’ brazen words were met with silence as ‘Jefferson’ chewed the inside of his cheek in a clear manifestation of anger. That simple show of emotion and his slight pause had ‘Hamilton’ tasting victory. He just needed one final push.
“You’re nothing but a self entitled slaver who’s coasted on his family’s name. It kills you to have a filthy immigrant challenge you at every juncture. You crave my servility, my reverence, to have me on your own leash. Maybe for your own,” and here ‘Hamilton’ gave an exaggerated sweep of his eyes up and down ‘Jefferson’s’ posturing stance and practically purred the final word, “Purposes.”
He wasn’t looking for it, but he saw the slight bob of ‘Jefferson’s’ throat as he swallowed at his words. But 'Jefferson' quickly regained momentum.
"Well, think of it this way. Were you to be on my leash, you'd be better behaved, polished even. You'd have actual political clout instead of being a loudmouth pebble in everyone's shoe."
'Hamilton' was just about boiling and on the borderline of shouting.
"Loud enough and smart enough to make Treasury Secretary! And please remind yourself that is something I earned. Not something that was just dropped on my desk after prancing around the streets of Paris like a whore."
"Come now, Hamilton." 'Jefferson' said with an unaffected voice. "That was a pity gift that came with a chaperone. When you hold actual power without Washington's looming threat to bend you over his knee, then you can pat yourself on the back."
'Hamilton' couldn't help but bristle at the slight prick of truth, which incited a biting chill to his retort.
"You just want my silence because you know you can't handle this one 'loudmouth pebble'. You know that I could take you apart with just a slip of parchment and a quill with ease. So I suggest you not test me, Thomas."
'Jefferson' scoffed.
"It's been my mistake, Alexander. You don't need a leash. A mutt like you needs someone to muzzle that mouth of yours."
"Why don't you give it a shot? Because I'd like to see you try."
There hadn't been much space between them to begin with and it had happened so quickly.
Too quickly.
But as much as it pained 'Hamilton' to admit he was pretty sure they met somewhere in the middle as they both surged into a kiss.
It was hot and electrifying. The tension between them being released in a battle of tongues and teeth. ‘Hamilton’ never would have guessed that the venom on 'Jefferson's' lips tasted of coconuts. But it was something his brain frivolously filed away as he pulled 'Jefferson's' bottom lip into a less than gentle nip. It was like they were still arguing within their kiss but it was the first time ‘Hamilton’ could recall that he didn’t want Jefferson to promptly shut his mouth. On the contrary, he wanted to be devoured by it.
‘Hamilton' had handfuls of ‘Jefferson’s’ shirt, dragging the obnoxiously tall man closer to his height. ‘Jefferson’ on the other hand had a grip in a fistful of ‘Hamilton’s’ already disheveled hair. 'Hamilton' wasn't expecting the amount of control his hair offered over him. He’d given an embarrassing yelp when 'Jefferson' gave a particularly sharp tug and like the release of a linchpin, ‘Hamilton's' mouth fell open, soft and pliant for 'Jefferson' to ravish. It was contradictory that their biting kiss had them both in sweet tempo with each other. Something they never accomplished with words. It was a fevered rhythm that surprised ‘Hamilton’ when he cried out another needy sigh and ‘Jefferson’s’ lips vibrated against his in a satisfied hum.
When they finally needed to breathe, they pulled apart, their eyes immediately trapping one another in a smoldering gaze. Their mouths were still close as they began to breathe each other in. ‘Hamilton’ without disappointment was the first to break the silence.
“Now,” He said after a particularly deep and steadying breath. “I know another way to take you apart.” His voice was more on the softer side, unsure of the repercussions of shattering the cooling atmosphere around them.
“And I know how to get you to shut the fuck up, so it’s a win-win.” 'Jefferson' shot back, but his voice was a warm rumble.
The hand still in ‘Hamilton’s’ hair pushed to bring their foreheads together and they remained that way in a mutually declared safe space.
“Well, that was educational. I must thank you, Diggs.” Lin was specific to use the name so he could end the scene. Lin stepped back and Daveed’s hold released. His large hands fell to his sides and his head remained bowed.
“Lin, I’m sorry. I-I have no idea where that came from.” Daveed said quieter than strictly necessary. “Shit, I’m so—”
“Perfect for this part that it kills me.” Lin finished, patting Daveed on the shoulder. Daveed looked up at Lin who was smiling with honest sincerity. “Though I don’t think there’s any room in the show,” Lin gestured between them, “For that.”
Daveed let out a sheepish laugh and shook his head.
“That’d be a little heavy-handed. Let’s just eye-fuck during the cabinet battles. That’ll get the point across. Anyway, if we did kiss like that on stage swear to God Rafa would never let me live it down.”
Lin raised an eyebrow.
“Rafa?”
“My best friend Rafael. AKA the boy I kiss if I’m kissing boys,” Daveed supplied with nonchalance.
“Oh! Are you bi?”
“No. I’m straight.” Daveed answered. “It’s just the kind of relationship we have.”
“Ah. You have a Groff, too.”
It was Daveed’s turn to be confused.
“My boy when I’m kissing boys.” Lin parroted. “Now if I can talk to you as your ‘boss’.” Daveed nodded his head a bit awkwardly. “You have proved you are my dream for this show. Your rap skills were never in doubt and you clearly know how to look beyond the lyrics to pull out character traits and bring them to life. So next time you decide to think I’d want anyone else in this show just remember Hamilton doesn’t kiss any ol’ third president of the United States like that.”
Lin pretty much had to catch Daveed as he bent over in laughter and Lin's shoulder's shook with mirth, not above laughing at his own lame joke.
“If Hamilton kissed like that then he really was a freak.” Daveed collected himself just enough to let a hint of Jefferson’s twang creep out.
"Typical Jefferson. Completely unaware of the pot calling the kettle black."
"That was just an additional souvenir from his time in Paris." Daveed defended as he began gathering his hair in the back of his head. Lin automatically removed the hair tie from his 'Jefferson' destroyed ponytail.
When Daveed was finished, he held his hand to Lin. “Thanks, man. I won’t let you down.” Lin firmly clasped the proffered hand and brought them both in for a hug.
“No problem, Diggs. You’re gonna be great. Ready to get to rehearsals now?"
“You know it,” Daveed smiled.
“Then lead the way, sir.”