Chapter Text
Outside, the snow fell, soft and white. Winter break had officially begun for the students of Bullworth. Everyone had been excited that they finally got to go home.
Petey had been packing the last of his clothes. He folded every shirt and pants with precision. Gary was dangling from the top of their shared bunk bed. He had been bored waiting for Petey to finish.
“Seriously Petey? If you’re folding like that, you might as well become a housewife.” He grinned, flipping his body so he could kick his legs in the air.
“I’m not a housewife…” Petey laughed nervously.
“Sure you aren’t.” Gary jumped off the bunk and kicked the pile of Petey’s socks that he had organized by color. “Because a housewife would never organize their socks like this.”
“Whatever, Gary.” Petey muttered and sighed.
He finally finished packing and zipped up his luggage carefully, not to misplace anything. He sighed in relief and satisfaction.
Gary grabbed his own luggage. “Finally. You always take so long to pack.” He had started to walk out of their shared dorm room. Petey took his time before he realized how far behind he’d been from Gary. He rushed to walk behind Gary.
Three steps. He was always three steps behind. Petey counted. He didn’t complain though. He wasn’t much of a leader and Gary being in front helped keep him in line in a way.
As much as it sounded degrading, like he was some dog, as Gary would call him, he didn’t mind. Even if Gary was mean sometimes or called him names, he was there for him in a way. That’s what he liked about Gary. The fact that he protected Petey sometimes. Not all the time, only sometimes. But that’s more than enough when it comes from Gary Smith.
They had been walking towards the school parking lot. Gary’s mom had already been parked. Her fingers were tapping on the steering wheel in even beats.
“You’re five minutes late.” She spoke as soon as Gary opened the passenger door. “Make sure you place your luggage in the trunk before you get inside. Also, clean those shoes on the pavement. I don’t want the car to be wet.”
Gary rolled his eyes and placed his luggage in the trunk. He lazily rubbed his shoes on the pavement before getting in. It was hard having a mom who had freaky OCD problems.
Gary’s mom moved her head to have a clear view of Petey.
“Peter! How are you?” She had that smile where you could tell she was exhausted. She’s genuine with her kindness, just struggling to fully show it.
“I’m good ma’am.” Petey smiled back.
“I'd hope for you to come over to our house this break! Gary’s always lonely and you’re the only boy who’s ever truly hung out with him. Come over any time you want!” Gary gave her a glare to which his mom glared back at him.
“Uhh…” Petey readjusted his coat. “Of course… I’d love to.” He spoke nervously.
“Wonderful! Well then, we’ll see you later!” She waved goodbye.
Petey waved back then looked at Gary. “Bye Gary!”
He got no response. Gary’s mom smacked his back lightly. “You reply right now! Your friend just said goodbye. Have some manners.”
Gary rolled his eyes. “Bye..” he muttered without looking.
“Gary…” his moms face was full of disappointment.
“What?!” Gary crossed his arms.
His mom sighs as she looks at Petey. “I really apologize about his behavior… but please come whenever.” She smiles one last time.
Petey nods as she drives away.
He sighs and walks back towards the school building. He knows his moms going to be late.
After thirty minutes of waiting in the cold, a blue hatchback shows up.
Petey’s mom rolls down the window as Petey walks towards the car.
“I’m so sorry that I’m late sweetie. One of my patients kept me overtime.” It was obvious that his mom had rushed to get here. It sucked when she worked about fifteen minutes away from their home. Since she was a nurse, she worked night shifts which led to Petey being home alone most of the time.
“It’s fine mom. I understand..” He doesn’t. He wishes everything was normal again. He hates the way things are now.
“Did dad call?”
“I don’t know. You can call him once we go home. He’s probably busy watching TV all day anyway.” She shakes her head.
Petey says nothing. Saying anything would mean being a disobedient kid. Petey has always been good. He never argued back, never told a lie to his parents, or did things that would make them worry over him. They trusted him so much that they never asked about his grades or anything in general. It was as if everything was the bare minimum and was expected. Petey felt that he’d always been more mature than kids who were his age for that reason.
His parents divorce was two years ago, yet he still felt so lost. If he could wish for one thing to be true, it’d be to bring his parents back together. But he’s Petey Kowalski, the good kid who never complained.
Being an only child came with benefits like being the favorite kid, and getting a lot of things that you want. He hated it though. He hated being lonely and having no one to talk to. He hated having to choose between his mom and dad the most.
His mom especially, being the kind of parent who guilt tripped him to make him feel bad for her. His dad, on the other hand, was more realistic and complained in ways that Petey couldn’t always agree with. Why did he have to be in the middle of this and listen to both his parents complain about each other? Why couldn’t they just figure it out like adults, instead of acting like kids?
He’d never know.
Petey grabbed the home phone and dialed the number he had to memorize. He remembers the day vividly. His father outright packing and leaving to live in some apartment.
“I won’t be far from your mom,” he said. “You can call me whenever,” he said. “Me and your mom just need some time,” he said.
The same excuse, the same words. He didn’t want to be far though. He didn’t want to have to call his dad to see him in person. He wanted to be with him and his mom. Is that too much to ask?
“Here’s my number if you ever need anything, kiddo. Dads always got you. Let me know if your mom’s being annoying.” He smiled and kissed Petey’s forehead goodbye.
He was only seven. He didn’t understand much till later. He nodded stupidly as if his parents would be there together tomorrow morning.
“Peter! Make sure to call your dad. You’ll be blaming me for not reminding you later.” His mom calls out.
He gets out of his thoughts and presses the ring button.
“Hello?” A man spoke.
“Hey dad.”
“Oh, hey Pete! How are you? Did your winter break finally start?”
“Yeah. I was wondering if I could come over this week.”
“You know I’d never say no Pete! I’m at the library right now but you could come tomorrow since it’s a Saturday.”
Petey felt so happy. His dad was more easygoing than his mom. His mom was kind of insufferable. He felt bad for thinking that but she truly was. She was always worrying over him and trying to protect him from everything. He blames his mom for how sensitive he’d become. This is why Gary always calls him a “mama’s boy.” He sighed thinking about all the bullying that was caused solely by his personality and childhood.
“Is something wrong Pete?”
“No dad. I’m excited. I’ll get mom to drop me off.”
“Watch out. She’s probably going to throw one of her fits.” His dad scoffed and chuckled.
“Haha…. Yeah. Right, dad..” His dad wasn’t wrong. Petey just felt guilty since he loved both his parents equally.
“Alright then. I’ll see you tomorrow, bud.”
“Bye dad.”
Petey places the home phone on the kitchen counter as his mom comes out of her room to the kitchen. It felt kind of weird that his mom stayed in the home that they had been in before the divorce. He didn’t get why his dad moved to an apartment when he’s the one who bought the house in the first place.
“What did your dad say?”
“Uhh, I asked if I could stay with him for the week.”
His mom stops in her tracks. “But you just got here? Petey, you’ll need to pack everything by today if you want to leave tomorrow.”
Petey groans. “I know mom! I’m fine with that. It’s no big deal.”
His mom was clearly upset. She always did this whenever he said anything about his dad. She started to act that passive aggressive way again.
Petey sat on a stool at the kitchen island. He rested his chin in the palm of his hands.
“Are you hungry? What do you want to eat?”
“Anything is fine.”
“Don’t do what your dad does. Tell me what you want to eat. I’m not playing mind games.”
“Mom! Can you please just calm down?” Petey started to breathe heavier. “I’m always with you every break. Can I not stay with dad this one time?”
“Peter. You better not use that tone with me!”
Petey groans and places his face in his hands. “Stop it mom. I know you’re mad but you can’t be upset with me because I want to stay with dad for the week. It’s not even the whole break. Just this week. It’s just unfair mom.”
“Fine then. Stay with your dad.” She places a plate in front of him before walking back to her room.
Petey’s face droops. He looks at the sandwich on his plate before slowly munching on it.
His mom always did this. She loved him so much that he sometimes felt scared. Her love was suffocating in a way. It felt restrictive, like she wanted to be the only parent taking the credit of caring for him. Like his dad was some guy that didn’t care about his son. He hated how his mom always victimized herself in situations that she created.
Whatever. He’ll just go to his dads tomorrow and get this over with. He won’t have to deal with his mom for the rest of the week then.
Petey woke up early to get ready and finish packing the rest of his clothes. He always had to be on time for everything. It gave him stability with his life.
At the moment, he was watching TV as he waited for his dad to come pick him up. His mom was still sleeping since she’d had a night shift today. He hoped that she’d stay sleeping so she wouldn’t ruin this like she always did with everything.
Finally, he heard the doorbell ring. He ran to the front door and smiled when he saw his dad.
“Dad!” Petey hugged him tightly.
“Hey there kiddo! You’re looking extra happy?” His dad ruffled his hair and hugged him back.
“I am dad! I’m really excited. It felt like ages since I last saw you.”
The door to Petey’s moms bedroom opened. “Petey? Who’s at the door?” She yawned as she walked towards the front door.
“Oh, uh.. it’s dad.”
“Oh. Hello.” She greeted his dad while fixing her robe.
Thankfully she was calmer than usual. Petey thought.
“Hello.” Petey’s dad fixed his glasses. “Well then Pete, get your bags and put them in the car. We should get going if you want to finish packing early.”
Petey nods.
“Petey.” His mom calls. “Make sure you stay safe. Don’t get into trouble and call me whenever you’re in trouble, alright?”
Petey nods again. This is the least he could do to keep his mom happy.
“Vanessa, you act like he’s going to die whenever I’m with him.” Petey’s dad shook his head and chuckled.
His mom crossed her arms. “Don’t start with me David.”
Petey’s dad raises his arms in defense. “Okay, okay. I’ll stop.” He shakes his head as he gets into his car.
“Dad… you didn’t have to say that. You know how mom is.”
David shrugs. “She’s a grown woman. She can handle it.”
Pete’s mom comes out of the house to wave him goodbye. Petey waves back.
He’s still not used to how his dad doesn’t wave back anymore like he did when he was fourteen. No honk or revving the car either. He just simply pulls out of the curb and drives away.
After a fifteen minute drive, they had arrived at his dads apartment complex. It looked the same as it did last summer.
It’s weird to think about how his mom had always kept everything neat and perfect back when his parents were together. Now, he’s a whole mess. He grabs something from the shelf and leaves it out forever.
Pete thought it’d be nice to help his dad clean the place up as he’d be staying for a week. He hated messy spaces as it left his mind full and in knots. A clean space gave his brain space to think and stay at ease.
Petey finished putting the last of his clothes away in his closet. He laid down on his bed to relax finally. He felt relieved.
Petey turned his body to the side.
He thought about Gary and what Gary’s mom had told him.
“I’d hope for you to come over to our house this break! Gary’s always lonely and you’re the only boy who’s ever truly hung out with him. Come over any time you want!”
Maybe he should go over there. It’d be fun to hangout with Gary for a bit. And his dad wouldn’t mind anyway.
Pete gets up to go to the living room. His dad was watching football.
“Uhm, dad?”
“Hm?” His dad didn’t look at him.
“Would I be able to go to Gary’s in a bit? His mom invited me.”
“Yeah, of course. Do you need me to drive you there or anything?”
“No, it’s alright. I can bike there.”
“Alright. Be careful when you go, okay?”
Petey nods. He was so grateful his dad didn’t care about what he did. He was also glad his dad had bought him an extra bike for whenever he’d stay over. His mom would flip if she knew. Saying how “David’s only trying to show off to you.” The same thing as always.
Petey started to bike towards the Smith estate. They lived in a wealthy neighborhood. A nuclear family that seemed perfect from the outside.
Pete knew the truth about Gary’s family. Not a lot though, just sometimes whenever Gary would ramble about his ideas and rant. Gary was too busy ranting to realize how attentive Petey truly was, so he never really noticed.
Petey always listened to whatever his friends had to say. He’s always been the therapist, listening to everyone’s problems but when he’d talk, nobody would care. He didn’t mind that though. It was kind of better this way. Nobody paid attention to him anyway so he’d never have to deal with big problems.
He finally arrived and started regretting the idea of coming over at all. He wanted to go back home. He felt nervous all of a sudden.
What if Gary’s in a bad mood? How will Mr. Smith act? He’s kind of scary… Gary’s little sister? Does she even like him? He forgot the last time he had seen her. She’d be in eighth grade now. Was this the right address he had found in the telephone book?
So many thoughts popped into his mind. He took a deep breath.
Enough thinking Pete! You need to get it together! You didn’t bike all the way here to just leave!
He fixed his shirt one last time and knocked on the door.
After waiting for only a few seconds, he started to lose his composure. He thought that they were purposely ignoring him and didn’t want to answer. As soon as he was about to start leaving, the door clicked open.
A shorter girl who looked like Gary opened the door. She had a black cat in her arms.
“Uhh, hey. Is Gary home?” Petey couldn’t help but smile at the cat. He loved animals.
She stared at Pete for a few more seconds before yelling. “Gary! Your friends here!” She opened the door wider to let Petey in before leaving for her room.
Gary was coming downstairs as she was going upstairs and tugged on her hair tightly.
“Ow! Asshole! I’m telling mom!”
“As if she cares about anything you have to say.” Gary sticks his tongue out.
The girl flips him off as she leaves.
Petey had been standing in the living room awkwardly, not knowing what to say or do.
“So you actually showed up.”
“Yeah… it’d be rude to not accept your moms invitation.”
“Should’ve called before coming.” Gary crosses his arms.
“Sorry… I- uhm.. didn’t know.” Petey rubs his left arm with his right hand. He had a thing with fidgeting when he got too nervous.
Gary knew that and used that to his advantage. He found it cute.
“Whatever. Come on.” He roughly grabs Petey’s left arm and pulls him to take him to his room.
“Gary— wait! I need to greet your parents first!”
Gary stops and looks amused. “Well, my dads out getting drunk at some bar. My moms probably smoking. So, they couldn’t care less about you greeting them.”
That kind of hurt Pete’s feelings. He felt sad that he couldn’t at least greet Gary’s mom and felt bad for Gary and his little sister. It’s like the neglect was routine for them.
Petey nods and says nothing else, letting himself be pulled wherever.
The two of them were now in Gary’s bedroom. It was such a mess. Petey wasn’t surprised as Gary was usually the reason he had to deep clean their dorm daily. This was his first time at their house so he was surprised at seeing all the paper balls thrown everywhere.
Gary liked writing his thoughts and ideas out. But if he didn’t like what it said, he’d immediately crumple it and throw it onto the floor. He hated that trait about Gary. He never cleaned up after himself.
With how much of a clean freak Mrs. Smith was (as Gary liked to complain), he was surprised at how dirty she let his room get.
“Why are you just staring? Sit down, idiot.”
“S-sorry.” Petey sits on the edge of Gary’s bed.
Gary had a whole TV in his room. He saw how lucky and privileged Gary was. He wished he was this rich. Then again, he wouldn’t want to be as arrogant as Gary.
Gary grabbed two controllers and threw one towards Petey to catch. “You ever played this before?”
Petey flinched as he watched the controller fall next to him. Petey grabbed the controller and shook his head no. He wasn’t much into gaming. He preferred to read books or draw.
Gary sighed. “Of course you haven’t. Your nerd ass is always busy reading dumb books.”
“You don’t have to be so mean…” Petey glares.
Gary rolls his eyes and smirks. “Yeah, whatever.” He rams his car into Petey’s.
“Quit it Gary! I just started!”
“Not my fault you suck.”
They continued to banter and laugh. It was almost bittersweet.
The door creaked open. Gary's little sister came into his room. The two of them turned around to face her.
“What do you want?” Gary huffed and put his controller down.
“I’m bored.”
“How’s that my problem? Go play with your dolls or something, Gianna.”
Gianna furrows her eyebrows and crosses her arms. “You’re so rude! I just wanted to play with you!”
Gary ignores her and grabs his controller again.
Pete feels bad. “Gary, you should let your sister play. She just wants to hangout with you.”
Gary looks at Petey sternly. “You worry about yourself, Kowalski. Not your family, not your business.”
“Asshole. Even Pete’s nicer than you. I wish he was my older brother!”
“Well that’s too bad. Guess you just had to get stuck with me.” Gary shrugs his shoulders.
“Hmph! I hate you!” Gianna sniffles as she runs to her room. She slams her door shut.
Petey felt awful now. The poor girl simply wanted to hangout with her brother. Gary was so mean at times. He didn’t understand it.
A small meow was heard at the door. Petey turned to look and saw the gray cat again. It looked extremely old.
Petey smiled as he placed the controller on the floor next to him. “Hey kitty. What’s your name?” He spoke in a soft tone.
The cat's green eyes slowly blink as it gets closer to Petey.
Gary quickly turns to see what Pete’s doing. “Stupid cat.” He rolls his eyes.
Petey furrows his eyebrows in confusion. “You don’t have to be so mean Gary. It’s just a cat.”
“Yeah well, Matilda’s stupidly annoying. She probably has a year left to live and does nothing but torment me.”
Matilda hops onto Petey’s lap. Gary feels surprised as Matilda isn’t usually good with people. She doesn't even like Gary that much. He kind of felt jealous. He’d never admit that though.
Petey runs his hand through her fur. Matilda begins to purr. Petey can’t help but giggle.
“She seems so sweet though.”
“Oh please, she’s just doing that to get you on her good side. Next thing you know, she’s all cranky and scratching you to fill up her food bowl. Look at her, she’s already so fat. She doesn’t need that much food.”
“Stop fat shaming her. She’s just a baby.” Petey hugs her.
“She’s eleven years old. I don’t think she’s a baby anymore, genius.” Gary groaned.
Matilda seemed to be enjoying being in Petey’s presence.
“Is she yours?” Petey asks.
Gary looks at Petey, not listening too much. “Huh?”
“Is she your cat?”
“Hell no. She’s my moms. I only tolerate her because I have to. I really hate her though.”
“Why? She’s the cutest thing ever!”
“You’re such a girl, Pete.” Gary laughs to himself.
This makes Petey stop what he’s doing. Matilda meows confusedly, her cat brain not understanding why this human wasn’t petting her anymore.
“What? What does this have to do with being a girl?”
“You’re just- how do I say it? Very feminine.” Gary snorts.
“You’re such a… dick man.” Petey mutters.
Gary turns around with wide eyes and a grin bigger than his ego. “What was that Pete? You wanna repeat yourself?” He throws the controller, almost hitting Pete’s head.
Petey flinches as Matilda runs out of his arms from fear.
“What the hell man?! Are you crazy? You could’ve hurt Matilda!” Petey shook as he backed away into a wall.
Gary shrugs. He looks careless as ever. “She’s just a cat. Plus, she’s smart and has reflexes. She’s fine.”
“What if she wasn’t fast enough to dodge that? She could’ve gotten hurt real bad!”
Gary rolls his eyes and groans. “Oh my God, Pete. Matilda’s fine. She’s always dodged stuff growing up. Quit making such a big deal. You sound like my mom.”
Petey made a face towards Gary. A face that Gary loved. A face of despair that awakened Gary’s feelings towards Pete during their freshman year. He shook his head.
He’s not gay. He’d never be gay. That’s disgusting.
Suddenly, Gary’s mom calls from downstairs and removes him from his thoughts.
“Gary! Come downstairs and bring Pete with you!”
Gary brushed his hand through his hair and sighs. He looks at Petey one last time. “Quit crying. Come on.”
Petey gets up and follows behind him. He never understood Gary. His emotions were too much to handle sometimes.
As soon as they’re downstairs, they see Gary’s mom making pasta for dinner. She turns to place some dirty dishes in the sink. She sees Petey and smiles.
“Hello Petey! Thank you for coming over to hang out with Gary.”
Petey nodded with a smile. “Of course..” He regretted coming now though.
“I’m so sorry that I didn’t greet you earlier. I was taking a nap.” She gave a soft smile. She looked extremely tired.
Gary knew she was smoking and crying over her husband's affairs. Pure bullshit in this family, he thought.
Petey shook his head. “No, ma’am. You don’t have to apologize, it’s totally fine.”
Gary’s mom looked relieved for the first time in ages. She liked how respectful Petey was compared to her own son.
“Alright then. Well, I still feel terrible. I’d love for you to stay for dinner, though. I made pasta with meatballs.”
Gary already been sitting at the dinner table, waiting for the food. He scoffed and crossed his arms. If he had to be honest, he was jealous of Petey. He wished he could be the perfect child like Petey was to his parents. He wished he could be so respectful that his mom would stop seeing his father in him. So she’d stop feeling afraid of loving and caring for Gary. But he knew this was not possible. He’d never be enough for his parents and he’d have to learn to accept that.
“Uhm, sure. I’d…uh— love to. Thank you ma’am.” Petey glanced at Gary’s expression. He felt nervous with how angry Gary looked. Was this the right decision? He didn’t want to make Gary upset, nor did he want to be disrespectful to Mrs. Smith.
Petey stayed over for dinner and it felt painfully awkward. He had to sit next to Gary while Gianna and Mrs. Smith had sat access from them.
Mr. Smith’s spot had been empty. He figured from what Gary had said that he’s out drinking.
Everyone had been quiet throughout the entire dinner. Nobody uttered a word. Was this how Gary always felt? He felt even more bad now. Was it rude to feel this much empathy for someone? He didn’t want to seem like he was just giving Gary pity out of spite.
Petey was the last person to finish eating. Gary always made fun of him for how slow he ate during lunch period. Gary didn’t do that today though. He instead stayed quiet for the entire hour, barely saying anything. He looked as if he was spacing out for most of dinner.
Petey found it weird. It’s like he wasn’t his usual self. Petey didn’t ask anything, afraid Gary would take it the wrong way.
“Thank you for the food, Mrs. Smith. The food was delicious.” Petey smiled.
Mrs. Smith smiled back.
“Alright… uhm. It’s getting kind of late now so I’ll be taking my leave. I don’t want my dad to be worried. Thank you again!”
“Of course. Come back anytime Petey. You’re truly a sweet boy!” She grinned. Her smile faltered for a second as she called for Gary.
“Gary! Walk Petey out!” She yelled at him.
Gary groaned. “Whatever…” he mumbled for nobody to hear. He walked out with Petey and looked at his bike.
“You got a new bike, or something?”
“No. My dad got me this a long time ago for whenever I’m over at his place.” Petey zips up his jacket.
“Right. Keep forgetting your parents are divorced.” He shrugs. “Man, I wish mine were divorced.”
Petey laughs nervously. “No you don’t, man.”
“Uh-huh. As if you’d get it.” Gary had his hands in his pocket. He kicked a rock across the pavement.
Gary was right. Petey didn’t understand how Gary felt. It was selfish of him to be assuming that when he barely had any idea how Gary felt around his parents.
“S-sorry Gary.”
Gary narrows his eyes and shrugs. “Just go home Pete. Your daddy’s probably worried about where his good, little boy went.”
“Ew. Stop Gary.” Petey groans. “And my dad knows I’m here. He doesn’t care.” Petey gets onto the bike fully.
“Uhm, I’ll head out now.”
“Yeah, whatever.” Gary didn’t say anything else as he started heading back inside his house.
“Well- uhm… bye Gary. I’ll see you later?” Petey asks one last time.
Gary lifts one of his hands to give a small wave. “Sure, I guess.”