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The smaller boy walked quietly, feeling the cold wind pass through his thin clothes, prompting a chill to run down his spine lightly. Achi looked out into the distance, watching a tree up ahead and noticing the leaves peacefully falling down onto the concrete as he got lost in thought trying to remember the time before meeting Augar, or before he'd ever befriended any of the four people he could confidently call his real, genuine friends.
But the more he thought about it the more he realised that those two questions had completely different answers (at least to some extent). He'd never forget the day he met his friends, that hopeless evening. He could still remember the ache in his cheek when he tried to refuse the older kids who were demanding him to hand over his money (to likely later spend on snacks and cigarettes), causing two of the older boys to hold him in place when their leader fist made contact with Achi's soft pale cheek, causing it to immediately begin aching and turning a deep crimson colour he knew he'd be unable to hide from his mother later that day.
But most of all, he recalled the hopelessness, the belief that he'd probably have to endure awful treatment like this until his very last day of highschool, that he truly couldn't do anything about it. He could try fighting back, but he knew it was no use against a group of five older, taller boys. This was his life, doomed to be everyone's plaything and personal wallet until his parents either pull him out of school permanently or he himself gave up altogether. Which in moments like this, when his eyes were pressed tightly together while he'd be clenching his abdomen in an attempt to absorb the force from the blows all collectively aimed at his stomach as if trying to dig throw the flesh and pull out his (likely) bruised oragans, it felt like that timer was soon going to reach '0'.
Or at least so he thought until he was finally let go and his butt hit the ground, only to quickly be helped up by the hands of what (at the time) felt like his guardian angel. A taller boy with kind eyes stared back at him, trying to help him up while asking if he was alright before he too was pulled by one of the older boys and struck across the face mercilessly but quickly recovered, going back to stand in front of Achi's smaller figure, shielding him from the much larger boys. That boy with kind eyes he now knows as Ko Song.
Before he knew it, three more boys ran in, arguing briefly with the older boys before a fight ensued between them. Achi was pulled back by his saviour, away from the commotion, though the smaller boy couldn't help the way his eyes fixated on one particular face, the dark features of the man he was sure he knew better then himself despite only having one proper conversation with him. The scene felt unreal, why would Augar; tall, athletic, kind, popular Augar be stood here protecting shy, invisible Achi?
Achi had known of Augar for a long, long time. For so long the smaller boy didn't think he could remember a time before knowing the Athlete, yet he could still vividly remember seeing him for the first time competing for his school in 9th grade, moving across the court with unbelievable dexterity, swerving past other players and scoring before getting surrounded by his teammates cheering and celebrating him.
"What are you thinking about?" Augar's rough voice rang out from next to Achi, finally dragging him out of his thoughts as he looked over at the taller boy who was now impossibly close to him, their shoulders rubbing as they walked side by side.
"Huh?" Achi asked, shaking his head as he was finally brought back to earth.
"What are you thinking about? You've been zoning out for a while now, we're almost at my house." Augar asked again, staring back at the smaller boy with gentle eyes. Achi thought for a moment about whether he wanted to lie to Augar or tell him the truth. However as time passes and their friendship grew Achi realised that he could no longer even attempt to lie to the athlete, not because he thought the taller boy would see right through him (which he probably would), but because he physically couldn't bring himself to do that to Augar whenever the boy would stare at him with those honest gentle eyes.
"You." Achi responded probably a bit too honestly, only realising the implication of his words when he looked back at Augar and noticed the surprised expression and flush that had spread across his face, prompting Achi to add to his initial statement to hopefully clear the air. "Umm... Not like that... Like.. I was thinking about when we met, or at least when I met you hehe." Achi explained, feeling a familiar heat to raise to his own cheeks as Augar looked at him before realisation finally dawned on him.
"Oh right, cause you've known me from before I met you." Augar stated, earning a quiet nod from Achi next to him. "Well? What did you think of me then?"
"Hmm..." Achi thought for moment before responding. "Well for one, I thought you were really scary."
"Really?! Why?" Augar pushed, getting even closer to Achi's face who instinctively pulled back slightly while trying to hide the blush coating his cheeks yet again.
"Well you're quite tall and fit, and when you're on the court or just walking around school you'd have this really intimidating expression. As someone who didn't know you very well, it was kinda scary." Achi explained as softly as he could as to not hurt the athlete's feelings.
"Oh... I guess that makes sense." The taller boy didn't seem hurt, just slightly disappointed before his expression changed into something more playful. "So now that you know me, am I still intimidating?" Augar asked with a smirk on his face, causing Achi to laugh out loud.
"You're joking, right? How can I be scared of a goofball like you?" Achi replied with a giggle as he bumped into Augar's shoulder lightheartedly, earning a fake pout from the latter. "I mean you can be scary whenever someone picks on me and you come up to scold them. But that's good because it just means that they run away quickly, besides I know you'd never direct it towards me. When I upset you, you just pout like a lost puppy." That prompted Augar to drop the fake pout and chuckle instead.
"Of course, the heavens might punish me if I were to mess with someone as cute as you." Augar didn't register the words that were coming out of his mouth until he looked down at Achi's flustered expression that he was desperately trying to hide behind his hands. "Uh... I- I mean.... You know... Damn, nevermind." Augar tried to come up with some kind of excuse or way to fix the situation, however when he came out empty-handed he just gave up, allowing the tension and awkwardness to fizzle out on its own. As if Achi didn't know how Augar felt about him by now.
They walked in silence for a little longer, taking in the evening air and quiet tension between them, before Achi spoke again.
"I also really envied you." The smaller boy spoke out in a small voice, so quiet that Augar almost missed it, prompting the athlete's head to snap towards him in confusion.
"Huh? Why would you envy me? You're the really smart and rich guy. What could I possibly have that you didn't?" Augar asked, his eyes fixated on the smaller boy as he waited for a response.
"Friends, like real friends. Confidence. The ability to stand up for yourself. At first, watching you used to make me so angry, it felt like everything came so easy to you cause you could talk to people and nobody would even think about messing with you." Achi explained, there seemed to be a slight venom in his tone though Augar could recognise that the venom wasn't directed at him, the smaller boy was more angry at himself than anyone else. Augar stayed quiet for a while, allowing Achi to speak his mind (something which he didn't often do).
"But after a while, I'm not sure when, that envy turned to admiration. Probably when I realised how kind you are, I'd see you talking to people and helping them out like it was second nature, you wouldn't even have to think about what they'd ask of you, you'd just... Do it. I guess it was that that made me grow fond of you instead... I wanted to be your friend after that, but I was always too nervous to say anything. I was really glad when you spoke to me in the store that day, and even happier when we met again." Achi explained, his gaze fixed on the ground before finally looking up at Augar and being somewhat caught off guard to find the softest, fondest smile stretched across the taller boy's cheeks. "I-I'm sorry. I'm talking too much, aren't I?" Achi asked, feeling his cheeks growing hot.
"No, not at all. I'm actually really happy to hear you say all of that!" Augar reassured with a bright smile, instinctively grabbing Achi's hand and intertwining their fingers, startling the smaller boy who looked down at their hands and back up at Augar's face with a mixture of shock and confusion, but still tried to play it off despite the raise in his general body heat.
"Why? Do you like being praised that much?" Achi tried to tease despite the crack in his voice, earning a chuckle from Augar pressed flush against his side.
"Maybe a little... But mostly because out of the things you envied me for having and being able to do, you've now got most of them yourself." Augar explained, watching Achi's own expression brighten with a soft smile. "You've got friends, I'd say you've become pretty confident, and you were able to stand up to that group of older kids all by yourself."
Achi just looked at Augar as the realisation finally dawned on him prompting the most sickeningly sweet smile to raise to Achi's cheeks as he looked back at the athlete.
"I guess you're right. Thank you, Augar." Achi responded, finally letting his body relax and even lean more into the taller boy's touch.
"Thank me for what? That's all you." The athlete let out, watching Achi immediately shake his head.
"I wouldn't be this bold if it weren't for you. The only reason I'm able to stand up for myself like this is because I know that if it ever backfires you're always gonna have my back. I wouldn't be who I am today if it weren't for you, Augar. So thank you for always taking care of me." Achi explained, watching the taller boy's expression soften into the fondest smile.
Augar didn't know how to say it, but he was truly proud of how far Achi had come as a person, from the helplessly shy boy he met to someone he genuinely doesn't feel the need to worry about as much as he once did. Achi was growing up, and Augar could not be happier to be part of it, he hoped that he'd be able to continue watching the smaller boy grow until they're both old and wrinkly, and even into the next life, and the next, and the next.
"Augar!" A woman's voice rang out, prompting both boys to pull back and look up at the owner of the voice, though Augar knew exactly who it was as his mother walked out from the front garden of their house to greet the two boys. "Oh, hello Achi, it's nice to see you." The older woman greeted the two boys, Achi greeted her back politely.
"Where are you going, Ma?" Augar asked, getting right to the point as he noticed her clearly dressed to go out, her bag propped comfortably on her shoulder.
"I'm just going down to the market to get some groceries, you boys can just head inside. Where is your brother by the way, Augar?" The woman asked as she looked between the two boys.
"He stayed behind with Ko Neung. Achi was keeping me company while I was playing basketball after school and came over while he waits for his mum to pick him up." The athlete explained to his mother who just nodded in response.
"Alright, I'll let you boys go inside then. There's food in the fridge if you're hungry." Augar's mother finally let them go, allowing them to finally go inside the fairly large house.
"Are you hungry?" The owner of the house asked as they stepped into the house, taking their shoes off and leaving them by the door.
"No, I'm alright. But you can eat if you're hungry." Achi reassured as he stepped fully into the house.
"Nah, it's alright. Let's go up to my room." The athlete instructed as he led the other boy up to his room.
Achi had been here several times now, yet he never truly got over how everything in the room smelled so strongly like Augar, it would be suffocating if Achi didn't find the smell so addictive.
Augar immediately jumped on his own bed, laying on his stomachs and hugging his pillows as if he hadn't seen that bed in years. Achi didn't quite know if he should be jealous or amused.
The smaller boy sat on the floor with his back pressed to the side of the bed closest to Augar, and began pulling out books from his bag, an action that drew the taller boy's attention.
"Don't you want to sit on the bed?" Augar asked, while looking down at the smaller boy who was already deeply focused while writing notes.
"No it's alright, I find it hard to write in bed." Achi answered, not even looking up at Augar who pouted slightly at the lack of attention.
"I've got a desk, if you want you can move there." The athlete offered, finally getting the studious boy to look up from his book with a soft smile of his face.
"That's okay, I'm fine here." Achi stated before looking back down at the textbook in his lap, leaving Augar to just stare at his face from the side, leaning his head on his arms as he fixated his gaze on the smaller boy.
By this point, Achi was used to the athlete staring at him quietly, he never really understood why he did it so much but he'd never really ask anyway. He never understood what the taller boy found so interesting about Achi, he never even understood why he allowed the studious boy to get this close to him or what made Achi so appealing to the seemingly untouchable athlete, they didn't have much in common, not to mention how out of his league Augar is. He is the definition of perfection to so many people, he was tall, strong, handsome, athletic, kind, fearless, so many girls would kill to be in Achi's position. But for some reason, the perfect boy always seemed to choose Achi; shy, silly, scholarly, boring Achi.
In the smaller boy's eyes, he truly felt like he didn't deserve all the attention he received from Augar. But to the athlete, there was no one more fitting for his attention then Achi; smart, caring, brave, adorable Achi. Augar couldn't help being so fond of the smaller boy, of the way he took every opportunity to study; the way he'd click his pen to fill the silence; the way his hair would go in his eyes, prompting the smaller boy to shake his head ever so slightly in an attempt to free his vision; the way he'd occasionally look over at Augar only to immediately look away and become flustered once he realises the taller boy is still staring at him intently. How could Augar not be fond of him? how can Augar not fall in love with him?
"So if you've never really had any friends, does that also mean you've never had a girlfriend?" Augar asked suddenly, causing Achi to snap his head towards him.
"H-huh?" Achi asked while feeling his face heat up as he stared at the taller boy in shock.
"Have you ever had a girlfriend?" Augar asked again with the same causal tone, as if he were asking about the weather.
"Umm... Well... No." The smaller boy answered hesitantly (if he were to be completely honest he'd talk about the way he'd never actually been interested in girls whatsoever, but he didn't feel like this was the time to talk about that), looking over at the window past Augar and noticing that it was almost completely dark now, the athlete looked over as well and moved to turn on the lamp next to his bed before returning to his position to interrogate the studious boy further. "What about you?" Achi asked, trying to take the spotlight off himself.
"Yeah, like one or two, but if I'm being honest I never actually had any feelings for them. I only dated them because it was what everyone else way doing and I thought it'd make me look cool." The taller boy admitted, Achi just nodded along quietly.
"Did... Did you Kiss them?" Achi didn't know why he asked or if he looked odd for asking but he was genuinely curious (and a bit embarrassed once he saw Augar's surprised expression).
"Mmm... Yeah. But again, only because it was what everyone else was doing." Augar visibly hesitated but was honest regardless, making Achi feel like maybe it was a good time to pry further.
"Did you not want to kiss them?" The smaller boy asked curiously while staring back at athlete.
"It's not that I didn't want to, I was definitely curious. It just didn't feel like anything, everyone talks about this crazy moment when you kiss someone and that it feels like fireworks and stuff. But I just really didn't feel any of that." Augar explained while looking down at Achi. The taller boy thought for a moment about their boat trip; about the way he had kissed him that night and about the way his heart fluttered in a way he'd never truly felt before, but that kiss was far too short and one-sided for Augar to fully register how he felt about it. "Why do you think that was? Was it the fact that you didn't actually like them? Or is it because people are overdramatic about it?" Achi finally asked, turning to his side to fully face Augar as he was growing genuinely interested in the conversation.
"Hmm... Well from my personal experience I'd wanna say it's because people are overdramatic about it. But if I'm being honest, I still have faith that the right person will feel different." The taller boy stated, allowing the words to sit in the air for a minute longer before asking the question that had been eating at him for far too long. "Have you ever kissed anyone?"
"What?" Achi was left utterly speechless. How was he supposed to answer that when he knew Augar knew the answer better then anyone, considering that he had been the one to kiss Achi that night. The smaller boy felt his mouth water at the memory forcing him to gulp as his face grew impossibly hot. "Umm..."
How could Achi forget that night? The way Augar's lips suddenly made contact with his own, he should've pulled back or pushed him away, but he didn't; he didn't want to. It was short, maybe a couple of seconds, but to the smaller boy it felt like an eternity, one he would do anything to experience again.
"Mm... No, not really." Lie.
Achi felt his heart ache at having to lie to Augar, but he couldn't let him know that he knew about that. He watched the tension leave the athlete's shoulders as he sighed, likely relieved to hear that so they can continue pretending like there's no serious feelings between them, like they're still just normal close friends, like-
"You were awake that night, weren't you?" Augar's voice caught Achi off guard for what felt like the millionth time that night.
"Huh?"
"You heard me."
The seriousness in the taller boy's voice immediately made Achi's mouth go dry, meaning he was only able to open his mouth but not to let out a single sound. He gulped heavily, attempting to regain his voice while thinking of a way out of this situation. But judging by the graveness in Augar's eyes, it was clear there was no easy way out.
"I... Um... I-" Achi stuttered helplessly as his face redened even more, he was sure he probably looked like a tomato by now, but for some reason he was unable to take his gaze away from the taller boy. Achi finally took a deep breath before nodding quietly.
"Huh... Okay... That's fine." Augar reassured (himself more then Achi) before moving to lay on his hands again as he stared down at the textbook in the smaller boy's lap, pretending to be interested in the contents, an action that immediately alarmed Achi to the fact that Augar was likely overthinking it.
"I'm not angry or upset, Augar." The smaller boy comforted in a soft voice.
"I know. If you were you would've been avoiding me long ago." The athlete stated, leaving Achi somewhat baffled.
"Then why do you look like you're overthinking?" The studious boy asked as he finally put his book away so they could talk about this properly.
"I think... I think I'm just confused on why you're not angry or upset?" Augar explained softly, still refusing to look at the smaller boy's face directly.
"I think you already know the answer." Achi responded, finally getting the athlete to look at him directly, noticing the soft flush blossoming on his cheeks and a rare gentleness in his eyes. "How do you feel?"
"I don't know." Augar responded, his voice genuine despite the incredibly vague statement, prompting Achi to just nod before resting his head on the bed facing Augar and staring at his face.
A long comfortable silence settled between them. They both knew how they felt, within themselves and eachother, it's just so hard to move forward beyond this. But they both knew from the way their eyes sparkled as they stared at eachother, that when the time is right they'd say it honestly. For now they just wanted to enjoy eachother company and take things slow. Or at least as slow as their own urges allowed them to go.
"Hey, Achi?" Augar asked as he raised his head from his arms, still staring at Achi's face.
"Mhm?" The smaller boy hummed in response, taking in the way the light from the lamp bounced off Augar's figure, highlighting his dark features and making his eyes glow dangerously.
"Would you... Would you want to kiss me again?" Achi didn't move from his spot. He didn't even react much as the tiredness from the day finally set in, releasing an uncharacteristically calm and honest version of the smaller boy, though he still couldn't stop his heart from accelerating and his whole body from growing hotter.
"I think I would do anything to kiss you again." Achi responded honestly, letting the words settle in the silence that followed as the two boys just stared at eachother deeply. Augar's stare was hungrier, more ferocious, far darker then usual, his eyes filled with a need neither could ignore. Meanwhile Achi's stare held something far more innocent, a sort of fear mixed with curiosity and need, Augar almost felt bad for being the one to take away that innocence which is why he felt the need to ask.
"Are you sure?" The words came out gentle despite the darkening hunger in his eyes. Achi stared at him for a second longer, thinking about whether he was actually sure.
"...yeah, I'm sure." He tried his best to ensure the words came out as stable as possible despite the tremble in his whole body.
Augar observed him for a minute longer, taking note of the visible tremor making Achi's bottom lip quiver but also the undeniable yearning in his eyes.
He shouldn't. He knew he shouldn't. But how could he ever deny his Achi anything?
That was the excuse he told himself as he slowly leaned in, prompting the smaller boy to lift his head from the side of the mattress to meet his lips.
They both hesitated for a moment, pulling back slightly before finally giving in and forcefully pressing their lips together.
The kiss was rough at first, unsure, needy, before they finally fell into a softer rhythm. Augar's hand came up to cradle the smaller boy's face, rubbing his plush cheeks with his calloused thumb soothingly while the rest of his hands held his face in place as he devoured the smaller boy's plump lips.
Achi didn't quite know what to do with his hands so he just allowed the athlete to take the lead, acknowledging that the latter had way more experience than him.
Achi's lips felt like heaven against Augar's own and for the first time in his life the athlete truly understood what people were talking about.
Because kissing Achi felt like... Fireworks? No. Fireworks are loud, kinda unnerving, beautiful but temporary and dangerous even. This was nothing like that; this felt like standing in a meadow, feeling the heat from the sun beaming down on your face and warming your body all over, and whenever you open your eyes you are greeted by the most gorgeous array of red tulips spreading for miles, making you unable to hold back a smile as you look at whole world in front of you. That's how Achi felt in Augar's hands, like holding the world in your hands, he was Augar's whole world; a ray of sunshine in the athlete's life that would chase away any storm.
"Hey Augar!"
The two boys immediately pulled apart when they heard the door swing open revealing Augar's brother, August, standing in the doorway.
"Oh hey Achi, your mother is here to pick you up. I ran into her on my way in, she said she tried calling and messaging you but you wouldn't respond." August explained as he stared at the two boys, looking between the two of them as he finally registered their red faces and panicked expressions. "What... Were you guys doing anyway?"
Achi looked around flustered for a second before opening his phone and noticing the copious amounts of missed calls and messages.
"Damn, I'm sorry but I have to go." The smaller boy explained hurriedly before rushing out of the door once he'd gathered his stuff. "Bye Augar, bye August."
"Oh... Bye Achi." August spoke though his smaller friend was already at the bottom of the stairs, the sound of the front door slamming echoing through the house soon after.
"What's up with him?" August asked before looking over at his brother and noticing him suspiciously burying his face in one of his mangas. "What's up with you?"
"Nothing! Can you just get out of my room." Augar exploded at his brother who visibly jumped at the sudden outburst.
"You're being weird, but whatever I guess." August complained while still eyeing his brother suspiciously as he slowly pulled the door closed.
"And also knock next time before coming into my room unannounced, asshole!" The athlete called after his brother who just slammed the door in definace.
Augar sighed as he laid back in his bed and rubbed his hands over his face, letting his fingertips linger over his own lips as he only now fully registered what had happened mere minutes prior.
Achi sat in the car in silence after getting scolded by his mother, though his mind wasn't where his body was. He couldn't help thinking of Augar's room, of what they had done there, of what that meant for them. That's not what you do with a friend; that's not how a friend makes you feel.
The studious boy sat with his head against the window, watching the streetlights go by rapidly as he bit his bottom lip for a moment before smiling to himself.
What was he supposed to say or do the next time he saw Augar? Did that really matter? Because he knew how he felt about the athlete, and he had a feeling he knew how the boy felt about him too.
So maybe it really didn't matter, because he knew they would figure it out when the time was right.