Chapter Text
The sounds of shoes scraping against the gym floor echoed off the walls. Volleyballs flew everywhere during serving practice. Tadashi was distracted of course. It might've been the new rowdy first years, or it might've been that he had to study for a test. But it was none of those things.
He spun the ball in his hands. Tadashi told himself to not look at the problem that was distracting him, but his eyes betrayed him. His eyes drifted over to Tsukishma. He stood tall, his sports glasses on, his eyes shining behind them. He was always calm. Even if Yamaguchi spent most of his time with Tsukishma, he still didn't understand how he was always calm all the time.
"Yamaguchi!" Nishinoya yelled. Yamaguchi ripped his eyes away from Tsukishma and over to Nishinoya who was on the other side of the court.
"Dude, serve!" Nishinoya encouraged.
Yamaguchi took in a deep breath, throwing the ball up as he jumped up just slightly to hit the ball. His jump floater serve. He had gotten better at it since his first year at Karasuno. Noya-san usually had a hard time receiving it, but today he received it perfectly. Tadashi wanted to go crawl in a corner and die.
He sighed at Nishinoya pumping his fist before almost getting hit in the face by a volleyball. While Tadashi went back to the basket to grab another ball, Shoyo walked up beside him.
"Yamaguchi, you okay?" He asked.
Yamaguchi looked up at the ginger. He had gotten taller since last year, but Yamaguchi was still taller than the little shrimp.
"Oh yeah, I guess I'm just stressing that English test for tomorrow." Yamaguchi answered.
Shoyo's face went pale Yamaguchi tilted his head to the side, picking up a volleyball.
"What?" He asked, Shoyo, who smacked his face.
"There's an English test tomorrow!?" He yelled. Yamaguchi nodded. Shoyo ran over to Yachi, almost knocking her over. He was begging her to help him, because he hasn't been studying his words.
Kageyama laughed at him. "You can't be laughing, Kageyama. You have a worse grade than him." Tsukishma told him. Yamaguchi giggled at the two bickering.
Even if Kageyama was a genius on the court, he was a total dumbass in academics.
---
The rest of practice was normal, but Tadashi still had something nag at him at the back of his mind. While in the club room, Tsukishma said he was going to go ahead and leave without Yamaguchi so he could go and study. They usually walk home together, but Yamaguchi let it slide, because he had a question for everyone that excluded Tsukishma.
Once Kei was gone, Tadashi was debating whether to say something or not. He had it planned out in his head but his nerves were getting to him. But he also needed answers.
"Hey, have any of you... have experience in asking anyone out?" Tadashi asked nervously.
Of course Tanaka responded. "Oh I am a whisperer of the women, Yamaguchi." He said confidently.
"We all know you're dating Kiyoko!" Nishinoya yelled. Tanaka just smirked to himself.
Recently, Tanaka and Kiyoko somehow got together. While Nishinoya was a bit sad he couldn't marvel over her, he respected Tanaka. Ryusuke walked over to Yamaguchi, swinging an arm around his shoulders.
"Yamaguchi, my man, you've got to be easy with the girls. Be cool. Don't be like Shoyo." He suggested. Shoyo shouted something but it was all background noise. Tadashi didn't need to know how to ask out a girl.
"What if... they aren't a girl?" Tadashi mumbled. Ryusuke didn't know how to respond. He blinked at Tadashi.
"Are you finally asking out Tsukishma?" One of the first years asked. Tadashi wanted to explode.
"What!? How the hell-" He started but the first year interrupted. "Dude, you two are always with each other. I thought at first you two were actually dating." The first year explained.
Tadashi's face felt hot. Too hot. Were they that obvious? Yamaguchi did hang out with other people here and there, but mostly with Tsukishma.
"Sorry my man, but I only have experience on asking girls out." Tanaka said, patting Tadashi on the shoulder. "Kiyoko asked you out, Tanaka." Ennoshitta retorted. Tanaka turned bright red.
Yamaguchi chuckled slightly, but he was rather embarrassed at asking a question he knew he wouldn't have the answer to. He finished changing when Shoyo walked up to him.
"Hey, you could ask Yachi maybe? She watches too many rom-coms so I'm sure she knows something." He suggested. Yamaguchi smiled a little. He was glad Shoyo was trying to help him. "Thanks, Shoyo." Yamaguchi said. His phone buzzed in his pocket and he checked it. It was his mom demanding him to home come.
Right, he forgot to take the trash out this morning. "I have to go. I'll ask her tomorrow, thanks, Hinata!" Tadashi waved. Shoyo smiled and waved back.
Yamaguchi jogged out of the school grounds. The sun was still up, but it was about to be sunset. The road was quiet as he walked home. All he could hear was the sound of his shoes scuffing against the concrete, the occasional chirps of birds, and the wind blowing tree branches around. But all of it was just background noise. Yamaguchi was thinking about Tsukishma. He really needed to stop, but he couldn't. His heart ached for his best friend and he finally got the balls to maybe ask him out. But doubt was also nagging at him.
What if Tsukishma rejects him? Then what? It was hard to tell what Tsukishma was feeling at times, so he had no idea if his feelings were one sided. Tadashi took in a deep breath, his home coming closer in sight. He just needed to calm down and focus on taking the trash out, maybe get scolded by his mother, and focus on studying. Everything else would be tomorrow's problem.
---
Tadashi was restless the entire night. He barely slept, which made him yawn way too much in morning practice. He finally woke up fully when Coach Ukai threw a volleyball at him which he was supposed to receive, but didn't. It almost went to his face.
During lunch, Tadashi was distracted. He sat at a table with Tsukishma in a classroom. Tsukishma didn't seem like he was eating much. It made Tadashi pay attention a bit more.
"Tsukki." Tadashi said. Tsukishma glanced over at him.
Yamaguchi pushed Tsukki's bento box closer to him. Tsukishma sighed but he grabbed a grape and nibbled on it. At least he was eating a bit. Tadashi finished his food and stood up.
"Hey, I'm going to go ask Yachi something real quick. I'll be back." He told Tsukishma. "Okay." Tsukishma said simply.
Tadashi ran out of the classroom, his heart beating way too fast. Once he got to Yachi's classroom, he spotted Kageyama and Shoyo looking down at their papers, grimacing. They probably failed the paper. Tadashi walked in. Yachi seemed to notice him first.
"Yamaguchi! Come here!" She exclaimed.
Tadashi raised an eyebrow but jogged over to her desk. She pulled Tadashi closer to her and she got a notebook out.
"Shoyo told me your situation." She said simply. Tadashi glared at Shoyo, but the poor dude looked like he was about to cry because of the paper.
Yamaguchi sighed and squatted down, listening to what Yachi got from watching too many romance movies.
---
"Tsukkiii" Yamaguchi tried to get Tsukishma's attention in volleyball practice. He dragged out the name so Tsukishma didn't have a choice to ignore Yamaguchi.
"What?" He said, throwing the volleyball up and serving it.
"What are your favorite flowers?" Yamaguchi asked. Tsukishma gave him a skeptical look.
"Why do you need to know my favorite flowers?" He asked. Yamaguchi made up a quick lie.
"For a paper." He answered simply. Tsukishma gave him another side glance but he didn't question again. "
You know those wild flowers outside of your house?" Tsukishma asked. Yamaguchi nodded. "I like those." Kei answered. Tadashi smiled and nodded. "Okay, thanks." He said, satisfied with his answer.
---
Tadashi was restless still all night. He decided to take some melatonin so he could actually get some nice sleep. In the morning, Yamaguchi picked some of the wildflowers out from his house and he tied them together with a white string so it would look like a small little bouquet. Tadashi smiled at his work. He gently hid the flowers in his bag, careful to not destroy them.
He was anxious the entire time during volleyball practice. Basically everyone got the hint expect Tsukishma. Everyone noticed Tadashi glancing over at Tsukishma a bit too much at times. He dropped the ball too much. His mind was all over the place.
During lunch, Tadashi didn't go eat with Tsukishma. He sat in Yachi's classroom, freaking out.
"I'm scared!" Yamaguchi complained. He had his head on the desk. The desk was a bit crowded with four people sitting at it, but Yachi didn't seem to mind.
"Yamaguchi," Kageyama said, looking out of the window. Yamaguchi lifted his head and glanced at Kageyama and then out the window.
"Tsukishma is outside. Now would be a good time." He suggested. Tadashi wanted to crawl in a hole and die.
"You know what? Maybe let's just...not...do this?" Yamaguchi suggested. Shoyo and Yachi forced him outside.
Yamaguchi's nerves were at their peak. He was scared he was going to say gibberish.
"You got this, Yamaguchi!" Yachi whispered encouragingly.
Tadashi glanced back and Shoyo was smiling at him with a thumbs up. Kageyama also had a thumbs up. Tadashi took in a deep breath, pulling the flowers out and hiding them behind his back.
Tsukishma was walking, his headphones on. Tadashi walked in front of him, and he pulled his headphones off of his ears to rest on his shoulders.
"Tadashi?" Tsukishma asked. Tadashi looked at Tsukishma in front of him.
Tsukishma stood taller than Yamaguchi. His normal glasses reflected off the sun, his carmel brown eyes shining behind them. His blonde hair stood up all around his head.
Tadashi had only recently accepted he had liked Tsukishma. But the crush developed all the way back into middle school. If Tadashi told himself back in middle school that he was asking Tsukishma out in high-school, he wouldn't believe himself.
"Tsukki," Tadashi said, his voice ever so slightly shaky.
He bowed down, lifting the flowers up. Yamaguchi stared at the floor. His face was already getting hot.
"Will- Will you be my boyfriend!" He yelled. He closed his eyes shut tight even if he was just looking down at the concrete.
He heard a small snort from someone nearby. He built the courage to look up at Tsukishma. The flowers were shoved in his face. Yamaguchi panicked, jumping back a bit and pulling his arms to his chest.
"I'm sorry, uh-" Yamaguchi said quickly. He kept his eyes trained to the ground.
"No." Tsukishma said simply.
Tadashi thought he heard something wrong. He finally looked up at Tsukishma. He looked...embarrassed? Maybe? Tadashi couldn't really make the expression out.
"Huh?" Tadashi mumbled. Tsukishma brushed a flower petal off of his cheek and he pushed his glasses up.
"No." He repeated before walking past Tadashi. He looked back at Tsukishma, walking away. He already had his headphones on, his hands shoved in his pockets. Yamaguchi just stared at him walking away.
His heart shattered into a million pieces. The person he liked since middle school, his best friend since elementary school, just rejected him. Tadashi didn't know what to do. So many emotions filled into his body at once that he didn't know what to do first. Shoyo, Yachi, and Kageyama jogged over to him. Shoyo somehow got most of the people who crowded around to leave. Yamaguchi didn't care, not anymore. He didn't even know there was a crowd. He was too focused on the boy he liked to notice anyone else. Yachi was trying to talk to Yamaguchi, but he just tuned her out. He placed the flowers back in his bag, keeping a straight face.
"I'm going to the bathroom before class, thanks guys." Tadashi whispered before dashing off to the bathroom.
Kageyama glanced at Yamaguchi running the opposite way Tsukishma went. Tobio decided to go and talk to Tsukishma.
---
Tadashi sat in a stall, hugging his bag to his chest. Hot tears slipped down his cheeks. How stupid could he be? Of course Tsukishma would say no. Tadashi just got too caught up in his feelings and decided to act without even thinking about Tsukishma feelings. He held his bag tighter to his chest, letting out a breath he was holding it.
"You're so lame, Tadashi..." He whispered to himself.
---
The rest of the day was hell for Tadashi. After crying in the bathroom like a loser, he didn't even pay attention in class. Some girls laughed at him when they passed by, Tadashi couldn't care less. He put himself up to be a laughing stock.
At the beginning of the year, he was a bit bummed that him and Tsukishma didn't have the same class, but now he was glad they didn't the same class. All he had to do was just get through to volleyball and go home and not deal with anyone except his mom and his dog for the entire weekend.
He didn't pay much attention in volleyball again. This time it wasn't nerves, he just wanted to go home. Each minute felt like hours. Finally, practice was over. He was the first out of the club room. He didn't care if they went to go get food as a team, he didn't want to be around Tsukishma. Which was very abnormal. He was always with Tsukishma. But now Tadashi messed it up for both of them.
He basically ran home and flopped onto his bed. He exhaled dramatically, letting the day stay behind him.
"Tadashi!" His mother called out before stepping in his room.
"Mm?" Tadashi hummed against his pillow. He had shoved his face in the pillow to try and forget his embarrassment of today.
"Why are we sulking?" She asked.
Tadashi pushed himself up slowly to look at his mother. She stood with her hand on her hip, a wooden spoon in her other hand. She wore grey sweatpants with a pink sweater and a white apron wrapped around her body. Her black hair was tied back with a bandana. Tadashi got his freckles from her. They looked nice on her.
"I'm not sulking, Mom." Tadashi grumbled, even though he was.
His mom somehow spotted the discarded bouquet on his desk. "Did you get rejected by a girl?" She asked, pulling the string off of the flowers.
Tadashi flopped back down and turned onto his side, not wanting to have this conversation right now.
"Not a girl." He mumbled. His mother went silent.
Right, Tadashi forgot to even ask his mom if it was alright if he asked out another boy. Yippe more conflicts. He felt the wooden spoon wack against his leg.
"Ow, what?" Tadashi said, turning over to look at his mother. She stood beside his bed, a frown on her face.
"Why didn't you tell me you were asking out Kei?" She asked. "How did you know it was Kei?!" Tadashi sputtered.
His mom just smiled at him. "Baby, it was obvious you liked him since middle school." She said. Tadashi wanted to bury himself a grave. "Seriously?" He asked.
His mother nodded and sat down on his bed, grabbing him and pulling him closer to her. "Yes, you're not as sneaky as you think you are." She whispered.
Tadashi leaned his head against his mother's shoulder. He looked off to the side, his feelings still felt like an open wound. Raw and vulnerable. "And I'm totally okay with you liking guys, if you're wondering." She informed.
She pulled Tadashi closer, basically crushing him in a hug and placing a kiss on the top of his head.
"Mom!" Tadashi complained, but he was giggling when he mom started to place kisses all over his face. He ended up having to help her with dinner.
Even if he did still feel a bit upset, he felt a bit better with his mom being so supportive.
---
The next morning, Tadashi was home alone for most of the day because his mom had to go to work and his dad was out of town for work. It was freezing in his house when he woke up. His mom liked it freezing in the damn house, especially during the hot months. Tadashi was able to put a hoodie on even if it was hot outside.
His weekend was just like ever other weekend. He got up, fed the dog and he let him out. He made himself something to eat and went to go watch whatever was on the TV.
It was kinda lonely during the weekends with his mom gone for almost the entire day and his dad being away for work as well. That's why Tsukishma was either at his house all the time, or he was at Tsukishma's. But neither of them texted the other one.
Tadashi was definitely not crying on the couch. Okay, he was. Because he was watching a romance movie Yachi suggested and it was really sad. The dog barking took Yamaguchi out of his trance in the movie and he let the dog in.
His dog, Moss, was an older dog. He went to go sit in his bed to go to sleep. Yamaguchi attended to the movie when someone knocked on the door.
Great, whoever it was is going to see Tadashi's red eyes because he was bawling over a movie. He sighed and stood up, wiping his eyes with his shirt before opening the door. The last person he was expecting to be at his door at this moment was Tsukishma. And yet, he stood there, at Yamaguchi's door.
"Tsukki? What- Why are you here?" Tadashi sputtered out.
Kei tilted his head to the side. "Were you crying?" He asked. It wasn't to humiliate Tadashi. He was just curious.
Tadashi rubbed at his eyes roughly, even though it was probably going to make it look worse.
"No! I was not!" Tadashi protested. But he faltered under Tsukishma's look. "I was watching a sad movie." He grumbled, Tsukishma walked in and took off his shoes. Tadashi didn't even invite him in but whatever.
"I'm not going to ask." Kei said simply. Tadashi wanted to throw him out. "Why are you here?" He demanded, crossing his arms in front of his chest.
Kei glanced over at him, he looked a bit guilty. "I wanted to talk about yesterday." He said softly. Tadashi clenched his jaw.
He didn't want to talk about yesterday. Yesterday he had his heart smashed into a million pieces and he had to pick those glass pieces up. It created cuts in his hands but he had to keep picking them up. The cuts just got worse, they were still fresh and bleeding. So of course Tadashi didn't want to talk.
---
It was Tadashi's fault that Tsukishma was now in his room, laying on his bed. Instead of kicking the taller boy out, Tadashi let Tsukishma into his room. Yamaguchi sat at the end of the bed, Tsukishma was laying down, setting the ball up and down in the air. Usually, Tadashi didn't mind that Tsukishma was in his room, but Tadashi felt very awkward. Especially after what happened yesterday.
'No.'
It rang in Yamaguchi's ears. His heart was still sore from being rejected. He couldn't bare to look at the boy laying in his bed for a long time.
"What did you want to talk about?" Tadashi asked, wanting this to be over with.
Tsukishma threw the ball up and caught it, this time not throwing it back up. He held it against his chest as he sat up. His hair was a bit messy from laying down.
"I didn't mean to say no," Kei started. He messed with the ball, not keeping eye contact with Tadashi. "Yesterday. I got nervous and said no because I didn't even process what you were asking me. And I didn't know if my parents were um..." He faltered, the confidence he always wore was fading.
Tadashi stayed silent for a second. It was like Kei was trying to find the right words. He talked slowly, like Tadashi was some scared animal. Maybe he knew he hurt Tadashi yesterday with his words.
Kei kept trying to say something but he just opened and shut his mouth multiple times. His grip against the ball got tighter. It was obvious he was getting frustrated.
"If your parents were okay with you dating another guy?" Tadashi suggested.
Kei nodded, his grip on the volleyball loosing slightly. Tadashi looked down at his hands. He had calluses due to the weights they had to lift for conditioning for volleyball. He didn't care much to take care of them. He knew Kei took care of his hands.