Chapter Text
“Leeeeviiiii”, Hange banged on the door, their voice sing-songy and cheerful as ever. “LEVI! Lemme in,”
Levi sighed, walking over to the door. He opened it and was immediately greeted with the dumb, smiling face of his best friend. Their expression was scrunched up in a goofy, lopsided smile, their reddish brown eyes squinted unevenly.
“What,” Levi sighed, not a hint of emotion in his expression nor voice.
“Guess who just got asked out!” She cooed, practically hopping from foot to foot.
Levi felt his stomach sink heavily.
His chest tightened.
His gaze faltered for a second too long.
“By who?” He forced himself to raise an eyebrow, smothering any hint of upset in his expression. Now was not the time to go spilling his guts in front of four-eyes, as if he’d ever have that kind of reaction.
“You wouldn’t believe it. It was Erwin??? Erwin asked ME out. ME?? Wow. I didn’t know he felt that way for me. That’s SUPER strange, dontcha think-“
Their voice faded out in Levi’s mind. He felt sick, legitimately, horrifyingly sick.
Had he just fucking confessed, he wouldn’t be here.
Had he been less stupid. With his shitty self excuses, saying how he was certain he didn’t like them, how he was certain he was straight.
He snapped himself out of his daze. Hange was still rambling, going on and on about her thoughts about Erwin. She found him fine, not necessarily super attractive, but since he was already asking them out, then they might as well give him a shot.
“And also, I think we’ll get along decently. I can’t see this ending in tragedy,” they concluded, a proud smirk plastered on their face.
Levi hesitated.
“So did you… say yes…?” He asked, trying so incredibly hard to seem disinterested. It was probably failing.
“LEVI!! Were you not listening?? I just said I tooootally did, but only if I get to choose where we go.”
Levi puffed a fake, dry laugh. “He’s gonna hate whatever you pick.”
“That’s the test, see,” Hange smiled with their typical ‘deranged mad scientist’ smirk. “If he hates it, he’ll back out. I’ll bear the full brunt of my personality on him now, so I know if he’s actually in this for the real me. We’re going to Chuck E. Cheese, by the way. I’ve decided just now.”
“You’re a grown ass adult and you’re taking Erwin to Chuck E. Cheese as a date?”
“YES!” They squealed. “THINK ABOUT IT! They probably never clean those tables. A sample of the bacteria there could prove wonderful for my research on disease spread. I’d imagine it’s got all sorts of weird little critters on there!”
“And you told him that’s why you’re taking him there?” Levi raised an eyebrow.
“He doesn’t know where we’re going yet! I’ll let him know right now,” Hange whipped out their phone and began furiously typing. As they did so, Levi began looking for a swift out.
He could make some excuse that he wasn’t feeling well, but would that be obvious? Or he could say he has work to do, and shove them away as he always did. Yeah, that’d work. He’d just say he has a meeting, and-
“Erwin replied!” Hange cut off his train of thought.
“Does he hate you now?” Levi snickered, more forced than he intended it to be. He secretly hoped this stupid idea Hange had thrown at him would make him back out. Then it’s back to normal, and Levi can get his shit together, and-
“Nah, he just sent me this,” they showed him their phone screen, on which, Erwin had sent a whole string of laughing emojis (he is the only person he knows who uses emojis unironically), followed by a “sure, I like your vibe.”
Burning, confusing feelings built up in his chest, threatening to claw their way to the surface and make themselves known. Levi swallowed back his initial, possibly terrible reaction.
“Well, you two seem like a match,” he concluded, bitter.
God, he is pathetic. Getting jealous over this kinda thing was so childish.
“EEE! I agree!” Hange squeaked before darting off to god knows where.
Leaving Levi along in his office, standing in the doorway, with an expression like a kicked puppy.
He silently closed the door. Silence flooded the room, with only his own thoughts to fill the void.
He locked the door, double checking to make sure it was actually locked and he wasn’t just making it up. From there he flopped down and curled up in his desk chair, eyes locked on the floor. He studied the wooden boards below, tracing their outlines with his eyes.
Had he just been one day earlier.
Had he just up and said it.
Maybe this would’ve been different.
God, does this mean he can’t be casually affectionate to them anymore? Is that considered emotional cheating? Does he have to leave a spot for Erwin now, letting the man take the seat Levi always did, right next to Hange, a seat they always made sure was clean.
They’d always be sure to check their hands for dirt before patting him on his head, every day, just to make sure they didn’t get him dirty. Despite their own disregard for cleanliness, they always made sure to keep Levi comfortable. They had somehow mastered the art of splattering their own food only on themself and everyone else except Levi.
He remembered one time he accidentally fell asleep on their shoulder. They didn’t move him, in fact, they sat there, perfectly still, for hours so as to not disturb him. His chest tightened when he realized they probably couldn’t do that anymore.
Or- maybe they could. Frankly, Levi had no idea how relationships work. In all honesty, Erwin wouldn’t care, would he? He'd just make some comment about it and move on. Levi really needed to stop catastrophizing.
——
The next day came against Levi’s will. He awoke later than usual, around noon, rubbing his eyes and grumbling with sleep.
“The date starts soon! Wish me luckkkk :3” Hange had texted Levi about an hour ago.
“OHH! There’s this god awful looking movie in theaters next week, you wanna go and absolutely rip into it?” they sent, about 40 minutes after.
“I’m bringing Erwin btw. I promise we won’t make out in the back corner IDBEINROEJSOODHODJDOAJK”
“Trust. He wants to go unironically and suggested this idea to me btw. I’m bringing you for emotional support.”
Ah.
“Sure,” was all Levi sent in reply. There was that feeling again, that deep seated feeling in his stomach, like a gross hand was squeezing him by the torso, determined to not let go.
He needed to get over this, fast. He wasn’t gonna be the homewrecker that ruined the potential relationship between Hange and Erwin, or their multi year long friendship.
He couldn’t. Rude as people saw him, Levi was no life ruiner.
“YAY!! We’re here by the way!” Levi’s phone buzzed as Hange sent another text.
“I’ll update you! If it goes to shit I’ll just text you 😭”
Levi didn’t know how to respond. He sighed, closing his phone and letting it thump against the bedsheets.
He really needed to figure this out.
Opening his phone again, Levi brought up google and began to search probably the most pathetic, stupid things of his life. He went down multiple rabbit holes, all the different ways one could get over a crush. Almost all of them told him to cut off Hange, or to distance himself from her.
Nope. Not an option. Who was he supposed to talk with then, Grisha? God, no.
“He’s asking me about like my life n stuff,” Hange interrupted his doomscrolling with another text. He opened it hesitantly.
“What’s he asking?” Levi replied.
“Like, he’s basically asking me really basic shit. Like the weather. He actually talked about the weather. I’m gonna derail this whole conversation by bringing up my studies.”
“He’s gonna kick you out on the spot.”
“JSBJDJF I think he’s a little nicer than that. Though he does seem like the type to ghost people, maybe, I dunno. You know him better than me, shorty.”
“Shitty glasses.”
“Grumpy ass loser.”
Levi felt a treacherous smile creep up on his face at their banter. He quickly squashed it.