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Koschei wrinkled their nose. “You’re making sandcastles way too seriously.”
“Shut up,” Theta said, flinging a handful of sand at them. Koschei sputtered, brushing the sand off of them and scowling. They hated sand. It got everywhere somehow, including places it definitely should not be in. They would not elaborate on that. “It’s very serious,” Theta said, sticking out their tongue at them.
“No it’s not,” Koschei scoffed.
“For Rassilon’s sake,” Theta sighed. “Just say you hate whimsy and you hate me.”
“I do not hate you.”
“Then why are you soooooo mean to me?” Theta turned to face them, batting their lashes.
“I’m not being mean.” Their face twitched.
“Sure.” They rolled their eyes. “Whatever you say, Kos.”
Koschei let out an offended snort. “I-I’m not—” Theta threw another handful of sand at them before stretching and flopping backwards into the sand.
“Shut up. I’m joking.”
Koschei stared at them. “Remind me why I’m dating you again.”
Theta smiled. “Because I am so funny and pretty and you looooove me.”
Koschei rolled their eyes. “Only one of those things is true.”
“Excuse me?” Theta said, sitting up. “I will throw more sand at you, Mx.” Koschei stuck their tongue out in retaliation. Theta narrowed their eyes and began digging around in the wet sand until they held something that was vaguely ball shaped. They threw it at Koschei.
“Ew!” Koschei yelped as it exploded against their leg. “It’s like snow but evil! You know how much I hate sand!”
“Yet you’re still at the beach with me. Letting me throw sand snowballs at you. Sandballs if you will. Because you loooo—” they were cut off by Koschei throwing sand at them. They spluttered, dusting it off of them before glaring at Koschei. “What? Too scared to admit you loooove me?” they said sweetly. Koschei glared back.
“I wonder every damned day why I chose to date you.”
“I don’t know.” They shrugged. “But yet you still love me. For all my charm and wit and superior sandcastle building skills. Also my joy and whimsy, because you need some in your life. Seriously, stop being so grumpy all the time.”
“I hate the beach.”
“You didn’t have to come, and yet you did, because I asked you,” Theta grinned. Koschei looked away. They were weak for Theta’s smile.
“Sure. Fine. Whatever. Not like I care.”
Theta looked at them incredulously. “Stop pretending like you don’t like me, you big idiot, and come kiss me.”
Theta was making some good points. Koschei gave in and flopped onto the sand next to them. “Fine, maybe it’s pretty. Pretty tolerable,” they whispered against Theta’s lips.
“I think you’re pretty tolerable,” Theta said, their mouth finding Koschei’s. It was nice, for one brief moment. The sun-warmed sand against their backs, their lips and limbs interlocked as they kissed. It was nice, for a moment. Before the sand somehow made its way into their mouths. Koschei broke the kiss, coughing and spluttering, spitting onto the ground. “Kissing me cannot be that bad,” Theta said, obviously trying to stifle a laugh.
“I hate sand. I hate sand so fucking much. Fuck sand,” Koschei spat, hauling themselves to their feet and brushing the sand off of them. “I’m leaving. I’ve had enough sand.”
“Hey, wait up!” Theta laughed, also getting to their feet and following after them.