Chapter Text
11.01.20xx
my name is suzie and i am not the best with words. it annoys me. it is frustarating frustrating. but i learnt that girlz liked flirting. i cant do it like my best friend but i did recently get a girlfriend. her names noelle. shes good at... complementing complimenting. she appearently writes sometimes and has a blog even
she is the one who told me to give this blog thing a shot. i told her i could only do that if only i could read it
i mean it noelle
anyway now that shes gone , i can talk about my best friend. the one who flirts well
their names kris. they are a freajk and thats why we get along well i guess
but lately everythings been strange
u see i got my gf. noelle. she and kris i guess they have a past. i used to think they dated. maybe they really did. in the past. i dunno i dont like to think about it
but even so i cant avoid it eighter , i think they still have feelings for my gf
why do i thik that ?
you know kris is a human and they have those big eyes those eyes that remind me of blades the fact that they are red makes tings worse. they already have that gaze that pissed me of when i first met them but ever since me and noelle became thing they kinda started to piss me of again
they stare at me when i ask them dude whats wrong they tell me nothing and they just look away in some kind of feeling i cant tell
that stare reminds me of back then when i tried to play piano in the mal but couldnt so i ended up breaking it maybe i can compare it to that
its just so strong its almost creepy
expecially whennoelles around i dunno what to say
i should confront them but me and noelle just became a ting and i dont want to lose kris i care about them and stuff
log off
log off
11.01.20xx (cont'd)
my gf teached me how 2 log off
i had to cover the screen so that she didnt read what i wrote i really cant discuss it with her
its in the library lab so its risky she said and told m e shewould sneak me in her house so that i could use her computer
i was like dude youre toatally going to read it and she squweaked
she the n told me shed teach me how t2 spell and i guess it kinda hurt not beibg smart like her i dont want her to teach me how to spell
i can lern it on my own
here im lerning it
anyeay i got a little mad and lef t the library nd & i rule i can do & now found kris cuz like i said earlier they were acting strange. they were still strange even without noelle around but they didnt have my mall piano stare
kris sometimes seems so distant but i was used to it even so they seem even more distant now i cant tell exactly why butt haha butt but they even look at me less like they look at my face less
even when they do it seems almost forsed i told them about npelle wanting me to teach how to spell and tbey mumbled somerthing about how itll work out between us but i couldnt hear it clearly so i asked them to repeeet it but they didnt and they did the most strange thing ever
with both of their hands they grabbed mine and just faced me still i never really realized how small human hands were i guess even when i kind of hold theirs when i pull them they were so small and warm two of them barely covered my hand. they then continued to stare at me for a while and couldnt say a world
it was silent for a while then they just grined and chuckcled like whatthe $$$$ i will never understand that dude sometimez even so it kinda made me feel better bcuz it felt like everything was back to normal
anyway i dragged them to our hangout with noelle bcuz we still need them i think they have to hang out with us its just better with them arouund
but they ended up sleeping the whole time somehow even so their presense was comfarting haha fart
i guess its better when they sleep cuz when they wake up they have my mall stare like i get chills but noelle doesnt seem to mind i dont think she noticed which is strange bcuz she used to point out whatevers strange with them eveb when nothing was worng
eveb when they leaved noelle didnt say a thing. i might go stop by their house soon to see what their deal is
thats it dude how do i end this its so awkard
Detachment.
Detachment was an illusion. As long as that illusion remained, and one ignored it, it would be safe.
So long as you keep your promise, Kris, you will be safe.
So long as your wants and needs don't get in the way of your promise, Kris, it will be fine. You will be alright.
No matter how alone that makes you, that's what you deserve, Kris.
But you couldn't just help yourself, could you?
When she opened up, you couldn't tear your eyes apart. You couldn't help but smile when she reminisced. When her hair tossled as she ran, you couldn't help but reach out your hand to touch it, just to get a feeling of her softness. When she laughed, you ended up replaying it over and over in your head. When she demanded you to hope, you did. You hoped.
That was your biggest mistake.
Your biggest mistake was you parading your selflessness as a cover up for a huge act of selfishness. For someone whose will was taken away, you sure know how to be stubborn. That was another of her bad influences on you. Be smart, Kris. You don't have for long.