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"How the hell are we going to get out of this one?" Arthur muttered, arms crossed as he took in the metal room that surround him and Ford.
"I have a plan," Ford responded, kicking the metal airlock door that had been shut moment before. "It is a wonderful plan."
"Good. Does it involve us being out of the airlock?"
"Yes! We just need to be out of the airlock first for it to work."
Arthur deadpanned, staring over at Ford and his wild mess of red hair, still kicking at the door of the airlock like nothing in the world was wrong.
"Do we possibly have a plan for getting out of the airlock now that we are stuck in it?"
"I'm making this up as I got along, you know," Ford replied, a slightly too wide smile coming across his face. "I could send out a signal, but I doubt anyone will see it."
"Well," Arthur accepted. "It'd be a place to start before we just accept our death here."
Mere years ago, he'd been happily fighting off the corporations that wanted to demolish his house to wake way for a new bypass and drinking his tea in the afternoon, occasionally meeting up with Ford at the pub. Now, he was a Hitchhiker of the Galaxy (as Ford had so gladly told him) and both his home and planet were destroyed to make room for a new intergalactic bypass. What a bloody shame progress was.
At least until Earth was rebuilt. Again, now as a permanent fixture planet instead of a computer for the question whose answer was 42.
"I think they're about to open the airlock," Ford remarked, pressing an ear against the cold metal door.
"Here we go again," Arthur muttered, taking in a deep breath, possibly his final one, as the door behind him opened and pulled him and Ford into the depths of space - blackness that was sprinkled with small twinkling lights, light from other stars millions of miles away.
They sat in the void for 25 seconds before a ship stopped, pulling them in with 5 seconds to spare, a new record after Zaphod's save years ago at 29 seconds.
"Why is it that we constantly end up nearly getting killed in the void of space when we travel?" Arthur asked, pulling his dressing gown tighter around his body, taking in the sights of the new, now oxygenated, airlock that he and Ford were stuck in.
"Must be very probable for us," Ford replied, eyeing the door as it popped open, revealing a blonde haired man and a small rock-like creature. "Hello there!" He waved, another slightly unnerving smile coming onto his face at the sight of their saviors.
"Uh, hi," the blond man remarked, looking completely and utterly human, an odd sight to Arthur who, to his knowledge, was one of 2 living humans that traveled this far into the universe.
Trillian was the other, so this man was unaccounted for unless he was a new human from the new planet Earth. Who else would be crazy enough to pick up a human other than Ford and Zaphod?
"Are… Are you okay? Can I get you guys anything?" The man stumbled over his words, clearly unsure about the new company.
"Tea perhaps," Arthur mumbled. It had been ages since he'd had a proper cup of tea.
"Um, yeah, we can do that," the blond responded awkwardly. "Mary!" He called out. "Can I get a cup of tea please?"
"Of course, Dr. Grace," a voice from no specific location responded, lowering a cup from the ceiling that Arthur took gently, sipping the warm liquid.
It wasn't perfect, certainly far from it, but it was close enough to tea to appease him for now until he could pop back over to Earth for an actual cup again.
"Please tell me this one doesn't talk back," Ford pleaded, memories of the Heart of Gold hitting him - that damn ship and its attitude.
"Talk back?" The blond, Dr. Grace, questioned. "No, it's just a ship."
"Who are they?" The rock-like alien chirped, moving closer to Ford with curiosity, as if noticing that he wasn't as human as he seemed.
"Oh, sorry," Grace apologized, rubbing a hand on the back of his neck. "He asked-"
"I'm Arthur Dent," the man in the robe answered, taking Grace by surprise. "And this is Ford Prefect," he continued, jabbing a thumb towards his red haired counterpart.
"You… You can understand him?" Grace asked as Ford knelt down towards the rock-like creature.
"Of course! We've all got a babel fish, don't we?" Ford questioned, messing around with the other alien on the floor.
"Babel fish?" Grace asked, confused by the two odd men on his ship. What exactly had he invited in?
"Yes, yes! One of those odd little creatures," Ford continued, looking at the creature in front of him. "Automatic translators. They work wonders, don't they?"
"I don't have one of those," Grace admitted as the alien chirped in agreement.
"Yes! Grace doesn't have one," the creature explained, laughing at his friend. "He had to learn Eridian the hard way: manually."
"Oh! Eridian!" Ford gasped out, turning all his attention towards the alien as Arthur and Grace just stood and watched it play out. "You must be from Eridani, just as I suspected! What a wonderful planet. It's truly beautiful this time of the year."
"Yes! Very warm!"
"Where are my manners," Grace interrupted, giving Arthur his hand. "I'm Grace and this is Rocky. It's a pleasure to meet you."
"Pleasure is all mine," Arthur responded, shaking Grace's hand as Ford rolled his eyes - he despised pleasantries.
Who the hell cared how everyone else was doing or if it was great to meet someone? It was all a waste of time. Earthens, ugh.
"So, you don't have a babel fish?" Ford asked, standing up and crossing his arms over his chest. "I always knew you humans would be behind on the curve."
"Hey!" Grace began to argue, but was cut off with a small tablet with the words 'Don't Panic' written on the front of it being thrown into his hands. "What the heck is this?"
"This is The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy," Ford explained. "It's the one book you'll definitely need as a space traveler like yourself and the rest of us."
Flipping it open, Grace began to peruse the pages, searching through it, millions of pages about multiple different topics - different planets, different lifeforms, different ships, different everything. It was an all-in-one encompassing guide about the universe.
"Wow," he marveled, breathing out in awe. "There's even an entry in here on astrophage already."
"Of course there is," Ford responded. "It has everything you could need."
"It even has the taumoeba in here," Grace continued.
"But we just found that," Rocky chimed in. "Erid and most planets don't even have it yet."
"Don't question the guide," Arthur said gently. "Too much time travel for any of it to make sense most days."
"Time travel?!?" Grace shouted out. "Okay, I don't mean to be rude," Grace pivoted the conversation, not willing to dive into that topic yet, "but where exactly are you two from and why were you floating out in space? You two nearly died if it wasn't for Rocky picking up on your signal and telling me to let you in."
"I'm from Earth," Arthur responded.
"I'm from a small planet near Betelgeuse," Ford responded.
"Wait wait wait," Grace rambled. "So… you're from Earth too?" He questioned, pointing at Arthur. "Did they send another ship or something? And you?" He asked, pointing at Ford now. "You're an alien as well?"
"Yep!" Ford nodded. "You and him are both human, while him and I are both aliens," he condensed, pointing at Grace and Arthur, then at him and Rocky. "If you wouldn't mind dropping us of at the nearest planet, we'd be very thankful."
"Any planet?" Rocky questioned. "Because Erid is nearby. We were just here to deliver the taumoeba and go home."
"Oh, yes!" Ford agreed immediately. "Erid sounds wonderful! We can definitely catch a ship out of there too!"
"What about the atmosphere?" Grace questioned. "Will you both be okay in it?"
"For sure!" Ford agreed. "Arthur here will be fine and my planet was similar too. We'll be perfectly fine until we can catch a ship away from here."
"Okay then," Grace accepted. "Welcome aboard the Hail Mary. Next stop: Erid."
~~~
It was a very short trip in comparison to the vastness of time and the universe itself, taking a few months for all four to return to Erid, but it felt like an infinite lifetime for Grace. All infinities are vast, but some are slightly smaller than others - the infinity of an ant is different from the infinity of a star.
He originally enjoyed the company, finding new people to talk to something that was rare, especially humanoid creatures instead of Eridians, but the already small space of the Mary becoming crowded by 2 men and 2 aliens was making it difficult for him to enjoy their company. He did his best, keeping himself in check most times.
Once they had landed, it had not taken Ford and Arthur long to find a ship willing to take them to somewhere else, shipments coming in and out of Erid most days as they shared information with nearby civilizations.
Grace hated to say it, but he found himself lamenting the loss of Ford and Arthur, a welcome change to his life and a glimpse into the universe and the vastness it contained.
"Are you sure you don't want to come with?" Ford offered again, standing on the platform across from Grace, wrapped in a xenonite suit. "It's fun and we can drop you back at Earth if you want."
"I'm sure," Grace replied, looking over at Rocky beside him. "I have everything I need here."
"Well," Arthur cut in, "I'll be sure to stop by and visit if I'm in the neighborhood."
"Please do," Grace smiled in response. "I'd like to have your company again."
"Ugh," Ford sighed out, throwing his head back. "Leave the stupid pleasantries on Earth and let's go!"
"See you around Grace, Rocky," Arthur waved goodbye, following Ford onto the ship.
"Goodbye!" Grace called back, watching as they left.
"So…" Grace began, turning to Rocky, "when were you going to tell me that people can hitchhike the freaking galaxy?"
"Why would I tell you?" Rocky chittered back. "It's not like you'd be interested, far too scary for a leaky space blob like yourself."
"Hey!"
Breaking off into chuckles, the two walked back home. It was true though, there was nowhere else Grace would rather be.