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Ivan stared at the static on the TV. A faint buzz came from the open fridge, filled with moldy food. Glass shards were littered in the kitchen.
Ivan would drink his life away just to try to get Andrew out of his head. But that image of his sweet face constantly bothered him. In a fit of rage, those bottles would be thrown every which way to soothe that temper of his.
He realized that Andrew meant more to him than just a developer with a passion. But by then it was too late.
Ivan sluggishly walked over from the living room to his room and laid in bed.
Just one more chance…
He wanted to bawl his eyes out. But not now. Not when his dad was looking. He needs to man up.
“You idiot, Ivan. You won’t hesitate to put your ego first instead of consideration. There’s nothing worse than a man who can’t apologize.”
Ivan covered his ears with a pillow, drowning out the voice of that tumor. But he had a point. Ivan had also been berating Andrew for being so selfish in those emails.
He sat upright and stared deeply into that computer for a second. Andrew never looked at his emails once.
Maybe I should apologize in person.
Andrew had never given him his location, but it was clear how predictable that guy was. Ivan could bet that he was living at the same place he had been evicted from.
______________
Andrew sat in his chair, unable to accomplish much. For some reason, this one line of code had him stumped for days. He prayed that the solution would magically come to him, but it really didn’t.
A sigh escaped his lips, and he turned off his computer. He stared out his window, noticing a shooting star. He didn’t particularly believe in those myths, but he wished.
“Please bring me luck.”
Andrew quietly muttered some silly wishes, not expecting much. And for a moment, he sat there and stared into the moonlit sky.
He couldn’t help but feel mesmerized by the sight. He couldn’t remember the last time he went outside to stargaze.
But the image of the beautiful sky slowly melted into a memory. When Ivan chatted with Andrew about personal topics. And how Ivan sought comfort and advice.
But Andrew wasn’t good with words, and that’s why Ivan had become the way he was.
He felt a bit sick after thinking about Ivan and how miserable living with him had become.
Andrew couldn’t remember how much time had passed. A couple of knocks came from the door.
Weird. I don’t have any neighbors.
He walked over to the door, opening it. And in front of him stood the exact opposite of luck.
“Andrew…I’m sorry. Please, don’t close the door. Let me talk.”
Andrew inspected him. He looked really skinny and messy. But he wasn’t looking to let Ivan back into his world. Not after what he had done.
He swung the door closed, right on Ivan, without a second thought. A load groan emerged from the other man, followed by soft whimpering. And the door didn’t close all the way, so he pushed a little bit.
A yelp came from outside, once again.
His eyes widened, and he opened the door. Ivan had wedged his fingers before the door slammed, and now there was a mess of blood on the doorframe.
“Ahh…I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to dirty up your door.”
Ivan stammered more meaningless apologies with hitched breaths in between. While Andrew stared, mortified by his current state. His fingers looked like they would fall off. Ivan was on his knees, holding the wrist of his bloodied hand.
“Shit. I’m—get in here.”
Andrew held back a sorry and pulled Ivan into his house. He rushed into the bathroom with the other man and settled him on the toilet.
“You idiot. Why?”
“I…”
Andrew paid no attention and searched for a first aid kit. He found it and started disinfecting his fingers.
Ivan took in a sharp breath and started to whine again. Tears welled up in his eyes.
“Stop! It hurts…a lot.”
“Suck it up.”
Andrew continued to tend to Ivan’s fingers. He felt guilty. The cut was deeper than he thought. He couldn’t imagine the rest of the pain Ivan was probably suppressing. It made him sick, but he had seen worse.
“Please don’t leave me.”
“I won’t. For now.”
Andrew wouldn’t think about sending Ivan off like that. He wasn’t that vile, and he wouldn’t be able to sleep for a couple of days knowing he had seriously injured Ivan and let him go.
He continued to wrap Ivan’s fingers.
“How did you find me?”
“I knew you’d return to this house.”
He scoffed and finished wrapping the injured fingers.
“I’m sorry.”
He looked up at Ivan. His beautiful eyes looked glossier than usual.
“I’m so sorry for treating you like that. I’m sorry for everything I did.”
Ivan leaned in and hugged Andrew tightly, softly sobbing into his shoulder.
Andrew paused and reluctantly wrapped his arms around the other, patting his back gently.
“I don’t forgive you.”
Ivan continued to whimper and sniffle, so Andrew pulled back.
“You’re gonna stay here tonight.”
Ivan nodded obediently and headed to the living room. Andrew went back to his room and came back out with a blanket and pillow.
He looked at the couch, expecting Ivan to be there, but he had decided to lie on the cold, hard floor.
Andrew looked at him, and a wave of guilt washed over him again.
“You can sleep on the couch.”
Ivan stared at him briefly before situating himself onto the couch.
“Thanks.”
Ivan murmured his appreciation, taking the blankets and pillows. Andrew walked back to his room.
“Goodnight.”
He laid on his bed, still in shock from everything that had just happened. He wasn’t sure if he had done the right thing, but he wouldn’t hesitate to throw Ivan out if things got out of hand.