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The lounge was warm and quiet. Risa was sitting at the long table, looking over her notes. Win was right next to her, leaning back in his chair, his eyes fixed on his phone. For a moment, everything felt peaceful, a beautiful contrast to the long Senate hearing on video games' influence on violent behavior they had handled together earlier.
"Win," Risa called out softly, turning to face him fully.
Win didn't look up from his screen. "O, Risa? Bakit?"
"Hinihintay talaga kita," she said, her deep dimples cutting into her cheeks as she tried to catch his gaze. "Gusto kitang kausapin nang seryoso."
Win shifted slightly in his chair, his eyes still glued to his phone. "Tungkol saan ba? Kung sa bagong bill natin, pwede naman nating i-viber na lang—"
"Hindi tungkol sa trabaho, Sherwin," Risa interrupted, her voice dropping all professional pretense. She reached out and gently tapped the table. "Bakit ba ganyan ka?"
Win finally locked his phone, but he kept his eyes on his briefcase on the table, adjusting his glasses. "Anong ganyan?"
"Bakit mo ako iniiwasan?" Risa asked, her voice cracking slightly. "Bakit hindi mo man lang ako tinitingnan? Win, magkatabi lang tayo sa bawat hearing, magkatabi tayo rito ngayon... pero pakiramdam ko, wala 'yung presensya mo ngayon. Pakiramdam ko, milyong milya ang layo mo sa akin."
Win stiffened, his jaw tightening as he stared fixedly at the leather of his bag. "Masyado lang madaming trabaho, Risa. Napapagod lang ako."
"Hindi lang 'to dahil sa pagod, Win. Nararamdaman ko," Risa pleaded, leaning closer, her eyes searching his face. "Bakit bigla kang lumayo? May nagawa ba ako? May mali ba sa akin?"
The heavy silence in the room stretched until it became suffocating. Win’s knuckles turned white against the table. He swallowed hard, the defense mechanisms he had built over a decade starting to fracture under her steady gaze.
"Wala kang maling nagawa, Risa," Win whispered, his voice dangerously low.
"O, baka naman dahil sa mga tingin mo noon? Sa mga ngiti mo na biglang nawala?" Risa pushed further, a single tear escaping her eye. "Sampung taon, Win. Sampung taon ko nang nararamdaman na may iba...Sampung taon ko nang napapansin.... tapos bigla kang magkakaganyan? Tapos sasabihin mo pagod ka lang? For once and for all, umamin ka kahit nagyon lang, Win. Hindi yung para ka d'yan tanga na walang ginagawa."
Win suddenly snapped. He stood up so fast his chair screeched against the marble floor. He turned to her, his chest heaving, his eyes blazing with a raw, agonizing emotion behind his glasses.
"Putangina, mahal kita, Risa, noon pa! Sampung taon na kitang mahal!" Win yelled, his voice breaking through the quiet room like a physical blow. He ran a frustrated hand through his hair, his breathing ragged. "Sampung taon akong nagtitiis na tumayo sa tabi mo nang walang karapatan. Sampung taon akong nagbabantay sa'yo habang pinapatay ko 'yung sarili ko sa selos at takot! Kaya kita iniiwasan ngayon, dahil hindi ko na kaya, Risa. Hindi ko kaya. Ubos na ubos na ako. Pakiramdam ko kahit anong oras bibigay ako. Oo, lagi kitang tinitingnan noon, ikaw ang dahilan ng pagngiti ko pero para akong kandila na unti-unting nauubos. Alam mo ba 'yon, Risa? "
Risa froze, her heart hammering against her ribs. The confession hit her so hard she couldn't breathe, her mind reeling as she stared at him in complete shock.
Win looked at her, but instead of waiting for a response, his face fell into an expression of profound, crushing defeat. He slowly closed his briefcase, the loud, definitive click of the lock echoing painfully between them.
"Win..." Risa finally managed to speak, reaching out to touch his arm. "Ngayong alam ko na—"
"Huli na, Risa. Huli na," Win softly interrupted, gently but firmly stepping back, completely avoiding her touch.
Risa’s hand remained frozen in mid-air. "Anong... anong ibig mong sabihin?"
"Andun pa rin 'yung pagmamahal, hindi 'yon basta mawawala," Win said, his eyes full of a devastating sadness. "Pero pagod na pagod na ako. Pagod na akong maghintay sa tamang oras na hindi naman dumarating. pagod na akong umasa sa isang bagay na alam kong hindi rin naman natin pwedeng panindigan sa harap ng lahat. It’s too late for me... and it's too late for us."
"We can still try, Win!" Risa pleaded desperately, the tears now flooding her face. She closed the distance between them, gripping his sleeve with trembling hands. "We can still try working out between us. Ngayon ka pa susuko? Ngayong alam ko na kung ano yang nandyan sa puso mo."
Win shook his head slowly, a heavy, ragged sigh escaping his lips. "You're the right person, Risa. God knows. Sumpa man, alam ko sa sarili ko na ikaw talaga 'yung tamang tao para sa akin. Pero maling-mali ang panahon natin ngayon. Masyadong malaki ang mawawala sa atin."
"Bakit?" Risa asked, her voice cracking. "Ano... ano 'yung malaking mawawala sa atin?"
"Yung meron tayo ngayon, Risa," Win answered, his voice shaking but brutally honest. "If hindi mag-work 'yung relationship natin... mawawalan tayo ng pagkakataon na maging magkaibigan man lang tayo. Masisira ang lahat na mayroon tayo. Pati 'yung natitirang respeto natin sa isa't isa, 'yung pundasyon na pinaghirapan nating itayo nang napakahabang panahon, guguho lahat. Kapag natapos tayo pero masakit 'yong pagtatapos natin baka hindi ko na kayang tumayo pa sa tabi mo nang ganito. Hindi na kita kayang tingnan sa mata ng diretso, makipagtawanan sa'yo at lalo't higit sa lahat kausapin ka na parang walang nangyari sa ating dalawa."
"Kaya mo ba talagang tiisin na mawala ako nang tuluyan?" Risa cried out, her fingers tightening on his sleeve. "Gusto mong maging estranghero na lang tayo pagkatapos ng lahat ng 'to? Mas pipiliin mo bang maging magkaaway na lang tayo dahil lang sa takot mo? Kasi ako, hindi ko kaya, Win."
Win looked at her, a bitter, agonizing tear finally rolling down his cheek. "Kaya nga bago pa tayo umabot sa puntong magkasakitan tayo ng sobra, hihinto na ako. Kasi alam ko na doon tayo sasaya. Mas pipiliin kong mahalin ka nang patago na ako lang ang nakakaalam at Mas pipiliin kong lumayo ngayon para kahit papaano, may matira pa sa atin."
"Pero, Can you stay like before? Please?" Risa sobbed openly, her voice completely breaking as she squeezed his sleeve tighter. "Huwag mo naman akong iwan ng ganito, Win. Pakiusap."
Win stared at her crying face, his heart shattering, but his expression remained resolutely locked. He gently, deliberately removed her hands from his sleeve, stepping back into the shadows of the lounge.
"We can be friends, Risa," Win whispered, his voice cracking but firm. He offered her one last, heartbreakingly polite smile—the kind meant strictly for a colleague. "Andito pa rin ako kagaya noon. As your colleagues..... and as a friend."
Without another word, Win picked up his briefcase, turned his back, and walked out of the lounge.
The heavy wooden door clicked shut.
The room fell into absolute, deafening silence. Risa stood frozen by the empty table, staring at the closed door as fresh tears streamed down her cheeks. Her hands clung to the edge of the desk for support as her knees threatened to buckle under the sudden weight of her grief.
"Mahal din kita..." Risa whispered into the empty room, her voice breaking completely into a sob as she looked at the door that had just locked her out of his heart. "Mahal din kita, Win... matagal na.”