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It starts with a petal.
Being the Endministrator of Endfield Industries warrants one to be prim and proper at all times- trouble can be coming knocking at his door anytime, and he can't pull down the name of his company, which he helped to build with his own hands.
Endmin doesn't really like to be concerned with his minor ailments (though Perlica would really be happy if she's told about it), but he may have been feeling something stuck in his throat which irritates him throughout the day. He contacts Xaihi to see if she may know anything to fix this globus sensation, and she suggests a lukewarm gargle with salt water.
He spat it out, and there lay a petal in the washbasin.
Endmin picked out the petal and held it in between his fingers. It felt papery thin, soft and velvety in his fingers. Its colour reminded him of the ever-changing colour of blight - attracting towards itself and leading to one's demise. It was the same colour which was in the sky in Valley-IV, a bright pink colour which would have almost brought destruction.
Did he accidentally get a blight-afflicted virus? But it didn't make sense because all this week he was tending to the AIC facilities across Talos-II and handling Dijiang tasks. He came out of his bathroom and kept the petal inside a book he has been reading recently - The Saviour of Talos-II; he by no means is a narcissist, but every time he hears about ‘his’ deeds from someone else's mouth, he wonders.
Did I really do this? Was I really capable of doing this? Am I really the person these people choose to believe? Or am I just a replacement for this version of myself?
He doesn't dwell too much on the last thought, because he can't let these thoughts create an opening for his adversaries. So he learns about himself - from the people he trusts and from the poems they write.
Endmin wonders if he can find any answers about the petal and the first name he remembers when he thinks about flowers - Arclight. He opens his baker and clicks a photo of the petal and sends it.
Arclight
I know it's hard for you to understand from a petal, but do you have any idea what plant species it could belong to?
Endmin, the wilderness holds a lot of comparable flora. I could try; however, if you explain its texture?
Ahh, right. It feels like paper, soft and velvety.
It doesn't narrow it much, but the wilderness that produces a similar boon would be carnations, roses, anemones, dahlias and peonies. There are a lot more flowers similar to them, but they're all close. All of them also date back to the Age of Terra.
tysm, you're the best, Arclight
Pardon my question, if it's confidential, but why is Endmin today interested in flowers?
Oh, in the name of Terra, he hadn't thought of this. I just coughed it up; nothing big deal; would rather erupt Talos-II in flames. He needs to really make something up.
Ahh, you see someone sent a bunch of petals for testing if they're fine to give a flower enthusiast client.
Pretty weird that they sent petals and not the flower itself. I bid my farewell, Endmin, for I have returned to my tribe.
Thanks again, and give them my regards. And enjoy your vacation too!
She almost caught his bluffing, but hey perks of being one of the most important people on the planet. (Though Perlica would catch his bluffing from a mile.)
He lay on his bed and knew if he asked anyone about petal coughing, it’d cause unnecessary ruckus. He sighed and, in the end, just went to the archive section of Dijiang.
Endmin didn't expect anyone up at that late hour and believed it was gonna be a quick research; he didn't bother wearing his jacket and his mask.
The door slid open, and a voice rang out from the ceiling, “Endmin?“
The person jumped to the floor and met his eyes. Endmin shook his head. He still does this and says he doesn't do it. Forest green eyes met sky blue eyes, and Endmin automatically smiled at the Seś’qan, “Camille, you could have told me you were visiting Dijiang. I would have personally escorted you.“
Camille's eyes widened, and he broke eye contact. “Endmin, I already know where all the sections are since my last visit. This visit is just a quick errand and doesn’t need your time.“
Endmin raised his eyebrows. “I’ll decide what requires my time, Camille“, he peeked at the documents and saw Landbreakers, Jakeb Meissen, Nefarith, and now another name which is added to it - Char. “I thought we agreed that Char would be both of our headaches and not your alone.“
Camille turned his head and piled all of the documents in stacks just like they originally were. He sighed, “It wasn't fruitful; everything here is the same information I already know. I just wanted to see if there's any information I'm missing.“
“Ignore me, Endmin. Since I’m free now, I can help you with your research.“
He almost jumped at his invitation, but he realised that his research consisted of diseases…1+1=2; it wouldn't take much time for him to get it: that it is him suffering from it.
Truth be told, every time he meets Camille after the confrontation with Char, he feels giddy; feels butterflies in his stomach. He doesn't hate parting, but the hollowness feels sickening with the vampire.
He knows the word to do this. He doesn't dare to name it for it's cruel not to him - but to Camille. He doesn't know if he'll still be able to remember everything he's doing now. He already sees it in everyone's eyes anyway.
Despair, sadness, cruelty of fate.
So he keeps them in a box, locks them out and throws it in the sea - hoping no one will find it.
So he shakes his head and says, “Confidential matter, unfortunately. I can't risk it, Camille.“
Seś’qa's keeper nods, though the pang of disappointment can't escape the Endministrator's eyes. “I’ll take my leave then.“
Endmin nodded, not meeting his eyes anymore. Camille's voice rang out in the empty library, “The mask hides your true essence, Endmin. Your eyes truly hide your beauty.“
The Seś’qan Keeper of Wisdom may have dashed away into a bunch of bats before Endmin could understand his compliment.
“Did…he just compliment me..?“ Blood rushed to his face, as he felt he was hot in his sweater. He felt shortness of breath and felt that he was gonna vomit again.
It really takes a few poetic lines to impress the Endministrator of Endfield Industries, eh?
He breathed a few times to calm himself down; he realised high blood pressure may worsen his condition and started seeing any similar afflictions to his.
Endmin finally finds it: a Terran respiratory disease termed Hanahaki disease. It starts with coughing up petals and, in later stages, flowers being thrown up and flowers replacing one's lungs.
He laughs at his own fate - why is it so cruel? A disease that stems from unrequited love and will end your carcass with flowers blooming in it. Shouldn't the originium rock save him if he really dies? Maybe that won't work because for that he needs to be heavily injured.
This complicates things as if they weren't already. Accepting his one-sided crush is cruel to Camille, but if he doesn't, he's gonna write his own demise.
Death is less cruel to the people around him than a person with amnesia. For all he is a hollow husk of his previous self.
He rubbed his eyes, feeling exhausted; for a person like him still needs his sleep. Troubles will follow to his future, and if he's to die, he would rather give no one another reason to grieve for him.
For parting is nothing new to Camille, but it still stings every time he has to go through it.
When he had recently started working at Seśqa, he had witnessed his parents’ death by Jakub Meissen, the person he had heard praise as leading humanity against the Aggeloi, vowing for the end of the destruction of the Civilisation Band - it’s a curse truly for a long life because their death haunts him to this day.
He remembers his twin brother Char lying on the brink of life and death, and the first thing he understood was to give him his blood. However, Seśqa was bound for another betrayal, and Camille had created a monster by his own hands.
Can he even call that a parting? Wasn’t that a textbook definition of betrayal?
Unfortunately, humanity will never be free from emotions, and they crave something to call home and family. He may have joined as the Keeper of Wisdom to track his kin down, but what will he do with him next? Destroy the last of his family?
Maybe Char knows it himself that his brother will never have the heart to kill him, and he dares to follow the footsteps of the Bonekrushers’ founder.
He’s lucky that Seśqa still supports his endeavour while having communication skills of a total 0, outbursts every time he hears about his sibling, and trust issues.
Well, it’s a problem he created anyway; he needs to clean the mess himself. At least, that’s what he knew.
Until Seśqa had assigned the Endministrator of Endfield Industries to the case, which he knew the perpetrator - Char Arno.
Camille Arno personally never knew the Endministrator, but he always wondered what drove this person to be such a philanthropic hero and save humanity every time it’s close to its collapse. Has he never known parting? Has he never known betrayal? Has he never known pain? How can a human be this benevolent?
He’s used to loneliness, enjoys it in fact - but looking back to the incident, he’s glad that he trusted Endmin.
Maybe more than acquaintances, he trusts Endmin. But he knows it, in the end, doesn’t matter. For he isn’t alone in having a crush on Endmin, and there will always be a better suitor for him. So, he just indulges in how much he’s indulged in and doesn’t dare to ask more.
Addiction has led people to their worst versions of themselves.
Endmin changes his diet to a liquid one, and Perlica finally starts questioning it.
“A liquid diet isn’t suitable for you now; it would be better if you still stuck to your normal diet“, Perlica says that when she gets wind of the news. (which is almost in 10 minutes)
“Perlica, I have recuperated enough; I’m having…a minor throat infection, that’s why I’m switching to a liquid diet.“
Oh no, he already feels it in the air; the Heavens are passing judgment, he internally thinks as the Liberi girl almost explodes in anger.
“A throat infection? Why didn’t you tell me earlier? Did you consult Xaihi? What medicines are you taking?…“, the blonde blabbers, while Endmin sighs and shakes her by her shoulders, “Heavens to Dijiang, Perlica?“
She turns her head and removes the presence of tears, “…You could’ve just told me, y’know.“
“I know you care about me, but it’s just a ‘small’ infection, okay?“, he points to the small wound with his fingers.
“…I don’t want to believe you somehow,“ He can’t let Perlica know this. This girl has suffered too much while he wasn’t here.
“You’re overthinking it,“ he laughed while not meeting her eyes. “ After all, I’ll persist because of Originium, isn’t it?“
“It can’t heal everything, Endmin. I really think you should take it seriously.“
Before he could reply, a certain Lung girl pulled Perlica up in the air by her waist. He smiled; at least people around him could enjoy life unlike him. The Liberi almost felt she would fall, and held on Qianyu’s arms for dear life, “Chen. Qianyu. Put. Me. Down.“
He stepped out of the space, as Qianyu hadn’t come here in quite some days and checked his baker if anything needed his assistance.
A message from Qin Jiangchi caught his eye.
Qin Jiangchi
Endmin, if you have time, could you check on the Northwest area from the Hub base? We are short-handed, and someone has reported Landbreaker sightings.
On it. I’ll check it and report it to you.
Thank you, Endmin
He gets an escape from Dijiang and from Perlica’s nagging (he loves her, but that girl truly is possessive of him for her own good), and can let off some steam.
He teleported to the location and hid behind a den to find an opening - he checked his terminal and rechecked the plans he had done while coming here.
“Endmin“, someone breathed against his neck, and he immediately materialised his sword only to find himself pushed against the wall.
Camille held his index finger out to his mouth and pointed him to eavesdrop, “…Those UWST bastards will never see it coming; we will be raiding their nearby camp, which will be on its way to Power Plateau.“
The raven-haired mouthed, “How many?“
A bat landed on the Sarkazan, and he whispered, “10 regular fighters, 2 casters, 1 guard.“
Endmin pulled out a flower from the vine of English ivy and started doing a silly game he saw some kids do while visiting back to Origin Lodespring.
2 petals. He loves me.
“Pardon me for that, Endministrator“, Camille said while sitting beside him.
Endmin tilted his head in confusion, “For what?“
4 petals. He loves me not.
“I had to cage you in between me“, the vampire said with no ill intentions in his head; however, Endmin felt way too embarrassed when he looked back at it.
“I really want to say though,” The vampire looked him up and down, and Endmin may or may not have been conscious about it, “Endmin - you look thinner and whiter than usual.“
Endmin laughed, trying to diffuse the situation, “Ahahah, it’s because I changed my diet to a liquid one.“
6 petals. He loves me.
“That’s harming you, Endmin“, he could already hear the pouting even if he couldn't see his face.
He turned around, and the light hit his face, and he smiled, “I won't die so easily.“
“…“
8 petals. He doesn't love me.
Hearing that, he didn't get any reply to it, “Camille…? “
The vampire held his hand and pulled him towards him suddenly, and Endmin lurched onto his lap. “Do not say things like that“, his eyes flashed red for a moment.
It struck something inside him.
It was as if the world constricted around him and tried to choke him. Endmin felt as if in the place of his lungs someone had put rocks in their place. His legs started moving by themselves, and he started blacking in and out.
Endmin coughed it all out, tears in his eyes, and the support he tried to take slipped out from his hands; he gave more force to his throat - he could already feel that something which was stuck in his throat for some weeks had already started moving.
He didn't know how much pain his body could handle, but he survived 2 Aggeloi wars, right? Endmin put his hand inside his throat and pulled out the stamen by force.
He panted and finally realised he was in his washroom in Dijiang. Endmin leaned against the wall and stared at his hands, which were stained by golden blood.
He could feel some of the blood sticking to his face, but he was too tired to care. Endmin noticed the flower he pulled out of his lungs - it had stains of golden blood everywhere and had a colour of light pink colour - it reminded him of the flames Nefarith wielded.
Endmin finally stood up by taking support from the wall; his legs had almost given up, but he still walked - found a glass vase, filled it with water and put the flower stalk inside.
The Endministrator of Endfield Industries can't stop walking, for Civilisation itself will stop existing.
But Endmin was never him - he's in the end, just a shadow walking in someone's footsteps. So he becomes selfish and forgets about the world and passes out in bed.
Camille Arno rarely fears anything. But when he saw his own brother in his last breaths, he created a monster just because he couldn't afford to part with him.
He hasn't felt that fear in years, and as days go by, one goes numb to others’ suffering.
Camille Arno remembers fear again; for he sees the person whom he secretly wants coughing up petals and blood.
Don't be what I think it is. Please, if a Heavenly being out there.
He stood before Endmin's room and inserted the key he had gotten from Endmin before. Camille had a slight doubt that it could also unlock his room too - but he never used it until now.
Endmin was by the window, which reflected the stars and was checking something on his terminal. Camille’s high boots rang out in the room as he walked towards Endmin. “Camille? I really didn’t mean to ghost you, but I had to take my medicines; that’s why I teleported back to Dijiang.“
“Camille? Is something wrong?“, Endmin stood up from his chair to stand in front of him.
The person in front of him had gone whiter, had bloodshot eyes, had deeper eye bags and had chapped lips.
He still cared about him and not himself.
Endmin felt himself pushed to the bed. Camille didn't have his natural forest green eyes, but his red eyes. Even if Endmin had managed to mask his fear in front of Camille, both of them could hear his fast heartbeat. The vampire eclipsed himself over Endmin and touched his lips. Stains of golden blood persisted.
He had a choice now, a choice to indulge in something he wanted and take him for himself.
“Are you scared of me right now?“
“Camille…friends aren't scared of each other.“
He was right; those flowers were…never meant for him. Camille won't lie; however, he would've been happy if Endmin was suffering for him.
“You are willing to die for someone who doesn't even know your love.“
Those blue eyes widen in surprise, “…“
“Seśqa had cases like these; but I have wondered - what if the person of affection dies?“
He gets thrown off balance, squeezing whatever Endmin had of his energy left. “Camille Arno!“, Endmin's knees buckle, and he throws up again - a peony flower which had the same colour as those flowers when the Sarkaz promised his blood would always be his to command.
Camille stared at the mess; it was pure of blood and had not been stained. “Does that person know they're being loved by the most important person in the world?“
Endmin wiped his own blood from his lips. “Tch. Are you jealous, Camille Arno?“
Camille cupped Endmin’s face. “What if I am? Can’t I claim you for myself? Or does this world think you don’t deserve mortal, fragile relationships?“
When Camille Arno looks back to this moment from the future, he’ll probably be flushed red in shame. But people in intense emotions do not think what’s right or wrong - he bit Endmin’s neck as if he’ll lose him at the next second.
Endmin had a red flush on his skin after Camille ended bloodsucking him. “I had thought that Keepers of Wisdom are clever, but you terribly made me feel wrong”, and then he pulled his lips before the Sarkaz could understand what he wanted to say. Endmin had let Camille take dominance in their makeout.
Endmin broke the contact first; his lips had his own golden blood, and Camille finally asked in a heavy voice unlike his own, “Why did you…suddenly…kiss me…? “
The vampire’s eyes turned into his forest green eyes. “Because you’re acting like a dog and weren’t eager to listen to reason again.“
“…“
“…“
Camille started nuzzling Endmin’s neck and started giving Endmin feather kisses around his shoulders. His hand moved towards his waist and pulled Endmin to his lap. He whimpered, “Camille…falling in love with me…isn’t…an easy thing.“
The Sarkaz cupped his face. “Has your sense of selflessness made you forget that you’re still a human and not God?“
Endmin leaned into him. “What would happen if I forget you in my next reawakening?“
“I would chase just like I did now.“
The raven-haired smirked, “I thought scenting and marking were abandoned practices of the vampires.“
Camille nuzzled into his neck again, and Endmin noticed that the vampire’s ears were red. “…Endmin, please.“
Camille came out of the washroom and dried his hair with the towel Endmin gave him. “Why did you keep that peony?“ The peony bloomed in the vase by the windowpane, and the stars made the golden blood glitter in the starlight.
Endmin looked at him in curiosity, tilted his head and put down his terminal, “Peony..?“ He’s so cute whenever he does that.
He sat down and put his head on his neck and pulled Endmin onto his lap. “The flower, that’s just reminding your pain.“
Endmin looked at him fondly, “It also reminded me of you.“
Camille tried to hide his blush, “You always see things in a way I miss.“
He smiled, “That’s why we make a great pair, isn’t it?“
“I’m happy that you wear the mask in public.“
“..?“
“People might die of your beauty.“
“…“
Camille looked at him, as if wanting praise from him with his big dog eyes, “…Was it not good?“
Endmin had a feeling that these eyes… would become a big problem in the future. He put that issue to the back of his mind and kissed him. Camille pushed him to the bed, and he put his hands into Endmin’s t-shirt. “Camille! We just did it! I have to do an inspection tomorrow in Wuling AIC!“
The vampire stopped kissing him and looked at him with those damn eyes again and cupped his face, “Endmin, just postpone it, won’t you?“
“…”
A coral peony changes its colour from a bright pink colour which fades to a white colour. In the Victorian age, Terra recorded that coral peonies represent a strong relationship - for it defines a deep attraction towards the beneficiary, fading into a blush pink - a delicate admiration; it fades again into a white peony to symbolise new beginnings in life.
an excerpt from Terran article titled ‘Flowers & their language ‘.
Camille Arno had always known that his life was stained with blood.
His life was filled with the guilt of his parents’ death, betrayal of his twin brother, and hollowness from the dirty truths of this world. It was filled with blood, mires and loneliness.
One day, it changed.
His life shone down with gold, the sunny blue of the sky and white, which faded out to red. It was as if the wound had finally faded and healed to its original state.
That day he had met the Endministrator of the Endfield Industries.
The Endministrator of the Endfield Industries is a blank slate.
He's asked to fill someone's shoes who he doesn't even believe exists. But people believed he existed. It gives them hope that there will be someone who will save them in desperate times. But it doesn't matter if the said person loses himself in the process. Because that is the story of every reawakened Endministrator of Endfield Industries.
He will time and time again repeat the same arduous process and will lose everyone and everything in life.
However, isn't every reawakening a chance for new choices? A new path to be forged? A new story to tell?
So, in this reawakening, Endmin chooses a selfish path; he doesn't know where it'll lead - but as long as he has the hands of a Sarkaz, they'll figure something out.
For selfishness is not necessarily cruel to oneself.
Extra :
Perlica tapped her feet, and the lightning in the air felt would drop on any one of them at any moment.
“…“
“…“
“…“
Camille whispered, “…Endmin, do we need to stay here…? “
Endmin told him while he smiled in front of her, “Camille, take my advice - if you fly away with me right now, we will be in bigger trouble.“
Chen Qianyu nodded, “He's right. Perlica will get madder. I think she looks pretty cute though.“
“I get that you're dating her, Qianyu; don't need to push the fact onto my face.“
“Endmin, I know you're protective of Perlica just like any other parent would be.“
He narrowed his eyes, “Why did you just make me sound old?“
The Lung girl said in proud confidence, “Aren't you the oldest person on the planet?“
“…“
“…“
“…“
“…“
Perlica finally came in front of Camille and Endmin started blabbering, “Perlica…he's not at fault.“
She looked at the vampire. “The day he gave you the key, I expected this to happen. I'll ask one question, and I need a clear answer.“
Camille nodded as she continued, “Do you love him as the Endministrator or for himself?“
He answered without missing a beat, “For himself.“
“You do understand what it entails after this, right?“
He nods.
The blonde took a breath in relief. “The guy beside you is the biggest apathetic person you're gonna meet.“
Endmin cried in agony, “Perlica!“
“So, please take care of him, okay?”
The vampire nodded, “I am willing to be beside him until the last of my blood is spent.“ The sunlight hit his face at a certain angle, and flowers suddenly started flying in Fangxing Avenue.
“…“
“…“
Chen Qianyu whistled, and she pulled Endmin by his shoulders, “Damn, Endmin, you pulled big.“
The Liberi pulled the raven-haired girl from Endmin, “Come on, băobèi, let them enjoy their date.“
Chen Qianyu physically combusted and had forgotten how to speak.
Camille held his hand and squeezed it, “Those girls have good hearts.“
Endmin squeezed it back, “They're just protective of me.“
The vampire pulled and twirled Endmin as the Sun sets down and the sky burst into colours of orange, pink, and gold. Maybe, he really needs to stop associating everything he sees with his negative memories. “I am glad you are around people like that.“
“Will you share a dance with me, Endmin?“
Endmin giggled, “I will trip and fall on my face.“
“I’ll catch you with my wings.“
They both start twirling and dancing, and in a fit of giggles, they fall on the ground. Even if they won’t remember these moments in the future - the world and nature itself will remember. And when they mingle in their remains when they die, a new flower will bloom from it.
For, such is life, and unending cycles of beginnings and endings.