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Dear Lloyd,
You won’t receive this letter, but Arin tells me that writing helps with grief. So here I am.
Your family isn’t as bad as I once believed them to be. They are irritating, but they’ve since welcomed me into the Monastery, because that’s what you would have wanted. It’s different, but I feel like I have a family again.
I was offered your room. However I can’t bring myself to enter. It’s the last place you ever were, and I don’t want to disturb you. Your clothes still lay on the floor where you left them, your bedsheets are still thrown off. I assume you thought you’d be coming back to fix them later.
I try not to think about you too much, but it’s difficult when everything reminds me of you. I try to not care, but you were the one who taught me what true strength is. I thought your kindness was weakness. Your ability to trust me. I resented you for it. And for that, I’m sorry.
I was wrong to think these feelings would hold me back when all you did was bring me up. My only regret is not telling you sooner. You left a hole bigger than the one you filled. You changed me in ways I could never believe, you made me a better master. I just wish we had more time. I should’ve realized how important you are.
I’m taking care of Arin and Sora like you asked, and watering your plants. I clean your sword everyday. I help keep the Monastery in order as if you were still around.
What kind of fool am I? I should have known someone like you would be temporary. Of course you’d be selfless enough to throw yourself infront of me. You were always meant for something greater than me, I was bound to lose.
I thought the world would dim when you left, but as if nature absorbed your life, it only got brighter. I still feel you here. I will never forget you when you are all around me, I just can’t reach you.
I’ve come to terms with it. Denial will only prolonge my suffering. I won’t see you again.
In another universe, my love. I’m sorry I was too late.