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Harry groaned as he woke up.
His head spun as soon as he opened his eyes, and for a moment, he wasn't sure who he was.
Then he remembered that, but not where he was.
That was until a familiar whine sounded from next to him.
A feminine one.
Familiar, but—
Not Ginny.
What the—
He jumped up from the bed. "Hermione?"
Hermione shifted and opened her eyes, then screamed.
It didn't help when she got out from under the blanket and they found out she was wearing a wedding dress.
"Did we." Hermione gulped. "Did we get married?"
How in Merlin's name had his pre-wedding party ended with this?
Since Harry and Ginny shared most of their friends, they'd eschewed the concept of gender separated nights and had a combined stag do two days before their wedding.
Admittedly, the drinks had tasted… off. But that was just what you got when in the reformed Knockturn bar! It was literally a Potions bar!
There was absolutely no reason he and his best friend should have ended up in bed together.
It wasn't that they'd never shared a bed. But Ron had always been there with them when they did that.
And where exactly were he and Ginny? Everyone else?
Harry tried to Apparate to the Burrow and instead fell into a pillar.
Hermione tried to heal him only to change his hair colour.
Clearly, something had gone wrong.
This wasn't the first time their family had been targeted. But a coil of anxiety burned in his stomach anyway.
"Hey." He turned to see Hermione regarding him gently. "We'll find them. Figure this out."
"I don't get why someone would play a joke like this, though," he complained, gesturing between them.
"Let's start by retracing our steps."
They went to the bar—where the owner paled as soon as he caught sight of Harry, swearing up and down he had no idea what had happened.
And he might be naive—but he believed that.
They found the whole marrying the best woman thing was a prank, thankfully. That's why Hermione was in a wedding dress, because people had found it funny he had both a best man and a best woman.
… He really hoped Ginny and Neville hadn't had a similar night.
Hermione collected some of the tumblers that hadn't been washed yet; tested the residues.
Harry questioned the other patrons on anything suspicious they might have seen—this was, as he had predicted, not particularly useful or informative.
Until Hermione found the Elixir of Euphoria.
"That's an odd choice," he commented.
"Not entirely," Hermione looked thoughtful. "Some of the others check for poisons and more malicious potions—but they wouldn't have thought about this."
The Carrows had truly fucked up their friends.
This made something else occur to him. He made his way to the kitchen, knowing Hermione was frowning and following him, only barely managing to keep from demanding answers.
"I'd like to see your lead Potioneer," he asked politely. He preferred not to show his Auror badge off when unnecessary.
Some days being an Auror made him as ashamed as proud.
"Oh!" Hermione exclaimed softly when the woman explained that the Elixir of Euphoria in their drinks would have to be made with special ingredients in order to be compatible.
He grinned at his best friend as they walked to the apothecary. "Not bad, huh?"
She smirked. "Well, there has to be some reason you're so successful as an Auror."
"I'll have you know, I was just as good at Hogwarts," he huffed.
"Of course you were," Hermione said soothingly—and yet, mockingly.
He shelved that for later as they discovered only a few families had purchased the ingredients required.
"Should we split up?" she wondered.
"No," he replied at once. The thought of losing Hermione as well made his blood run cold.
"Harry." Her expression softened. "That might be the best plan—"
"No," he repeated, more vehemently.
She sighed, but didn't argue.
Which was a miracle, honestly, but then—she and Ron had always been careful around him and his issues.
"Where to first?" was all she said.
Harry looked at the list again. "I know where the Toumans live," he said finally. "Might as well start there first."
Hermione frowned. "Not the Goyles?"
"You really think they'd be able to come up with something like this?" he teased, and she rolled her eyes. "Besides, this doesn't strike me as particularly Death Eater-like."
"I suppose you are the one who caught a lot of them." She sounded extremely doubtful, but he didn't bother pointing that out.
"With your boyfriend," he countered.
Hermione smiled—the way she always did when Ron was brought up.
He side-Apparated her. He'd learned after the war that there was a reason that wasn't often used—that it required immense magical power and control, and a deep emotional connection.
Only Dumbledore, Hermione and Ginny had ever managed it with him.
Even if he suspected that Ron could if he tried—and that Sirius would have been able to.
He shoved the thought away. "Good cop, bad cop?"
Hermione arched an eyebrow. "Which one am I supposed to be?"
He smirked. "Take a guess."
Even though he hated playing the authoritative Auror, Hermione eventually convinced him to before they used the knocker at the door of the cottage.
There was no answer.
He caught sparks from the corner of his eye and grabbed his friend, shoving her behind him and brandishing his wand.
"Ginny? Ron?" she called incredulously.
Well.
That was anti-climactic.
"What happened?" he interrogated.
"We were in a cave," Ginny explained. "For some reason, Ron was in a wedding dress."
Okay.
Hermione being in one had—sort of—made sense.
"Don't bring that up," Ron grumbled, glaring at his sister.
She shrugged with an innocent smile.
"Why didn't you come to the Burrow?" Hermione voiced.
"Couldn't apparate, had no clue where we were, also, this idiot lost his wand," Ginny listed out.
"And you were just wandering around?" Harry was baffled.
"We knew we'd be found eventually," she answered.
"How?" Hermione seemed as baffled as he was.
Ron scoffed. "I mean, come on. The two of you were on the case."
Harry and Hermione exchanged a flattered look; she was blushing.
"Never felt safer, honestly," Ginny chimed in with a soft smile. She came up to him.
And despite how bedraggled she was, when she threw her arms around him, and he could feel the presence of his best friends nearby—
He had never felt safer either.