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“Jimin, doesn’t he look handsome?” came a question from a voice that was so soft it could barely be heard.
“Yes Tae, he looks pristine,” Jimin said, his voice sounded slightly off and Taehyung noticed but decided not to comment. Jimin had problems with his relationship, not like Jungkook and Taehyung though. They were perfect.
“He looks beautiful when he’s sleeping, Jiminie.”
“He… he does Tae. Jungkook sleeping is the best thing.”
“No, it’s not you idiot. Jungkook awake is the best thing when he’s smiling and playing with us.” Taehyung replied even though he wasn’t angry - he was simply reminding Jimin.
---
Jungkook was Taehyung’s boyfriend and Taehyung was Jungkook’s. Jungkook was Taehyung’s sun and stars, he was Taehyung’s life and death and night and day. There was nothing; no one Taehyung loved more than Jungkook. Taehyung fought with his parents for Jungkook, Taehyung left behind friends for Jungkook. Taehyung would give up his life for Jungkook.
Taehyung first met Jungkook back when they were seven and nine but they weren’t instant friends. Neither boy felt a spark or a sudden rush of warm air - they simply walked past each other in the corridors and occasionally played with each other but they weren’t Jungkook and Taehyung back then.
Taehyung met Jungkook for the second time when they were twelve and fourteen and Jungkook was going through his emo phase. He had thick eyeliner on his eyes and Jungkook’s bangs covered his eyes in such a strange manner. Taehyung looked at him once and laughed at the poor decisions the boy was making. They never said anything to each other; they weren’t Jungkook and Taehyung back then.
Jungkook met Taehyung once again when they were fifteen and seventeen and Jungkook stumbled upon a crying boy. Jungkook was late to class and so he decided to use the route behind the school, accidently walking in on Taehyung sitting against a wall and crying - bruises standing out on his soft tan skin. Jungkook forgot all about class and sat down next to the crying stranger who he had no idea he had met before. They weren’t Jungkook and Taehyung back then either.
Jungkook met Taehyung every day and he asked him how he was. Jungkook held Taehyung when he had panic attacks and Taehyung helped Jungkook come to terms with his sexuality. They started to depend on each other as they found safety and solace in each other’s arms and comfort in the others words. They didn’t know it but they were becoming Jungkook and Taehyung.
Taehyung met Jungkook under the swings when they were sixteen and eighteen and he asked Jungkook a question. Taehyung asked Jungkook the question that played on their minds for almost a year. The question that kept them awake at night, tossing and turning. Taehyung asked Jungkook to be his boyfriend and Jungkook answered with a kiss. They had finally become Jungkook and Taehyung.
---
“I wonder when he’ll wake up,” Taehyung said stroking Jungkook’s forehead. His hands brushed over Jungkook’s bangs and skin softly, gently as though too much force would break Jungkook. Jungkook’s skin was warm, it was still as soft as ever.
“Soon Tae, soon,” Jimin said, his voice quivering and breaking.
“But he’s been asleep for so long Jimin, shouldn’t he wake up soon? It’s not good for his health.” Taehyung sighed, he didn’t take his eyes of Jungkook though.
Taehyung watched Jungkook’s chest slightly inflate and deflate with each breath. Jungkook’s eyelashes were resting peacefully atop his cheeks - he swore Jungkook’s eyelashes could hold dewdrops. Taehyung watched the slight puff from his lips as air escaped into the room. There was so much careful detail on Jungkook’s face that Taehyung was sure god took extra time while crafting Jungkook.
Taehyung was a little disappointed that the perfection in Jungkook’s being was disturbed. It was the minuscule tubes and machines connected to Jungkook, but worst of all was how pale Jungkook looked. He was disturbed that Jungkook was okay sleeping in such a drab and boring white room.
Taehyung didn’t like those at all, he couldn’t wait until Jungkook got up and took all those ugly tubes out and they could go back to their colorful dorms.
“Taetae, we need to leave now,” Jimin said and pulled a little on Taehyung’s sleeve.
“But Jimin what if he wakes up?” Taehyung asked, worry clouding his mind. Taehyung didn’t want Jungkook to wake up and for Taehyung to not be there.
“We’ll come back as soon as we can Tae, promise.”
“Okay then,” Taehyung said sadly as he got off the bed. “See you tomorrow baby boy. Don’t sleep too much or you’ll get hurt more.”
“Tae, you should say goodbye,” Jimin said - he couldn’t even keep the sobs quiet.
“Why Jimin? We’ll be back tomorrow.” Taehyung said as though Jimin was just being silly.
“Tae always say goodbye.” Jimin stopped to wipe his eyes. “What if something happens to you?”
“You’re right Jiminie, you’re really smart,” Taehyung said and took a hold of Jungkook’s hand.
“Jungkookie, babe. I’m going to go home now to sleep for awhile, I told Jimin that you were sleeping enough for both of us but he’s not listening so I’ll have to leave for a while okay dear. When I come back tomorrow you should be awake and we can go get ice cream from that place we love. Bye baby,” Taehyung said, he leaned forward and kissed the top of Jungkook’s head.
The two boys walked out together and they met Jungkook’s family in the hall. They were all in tears but Taehyung pretended not to notice.
“Oh hello, I was just going home for a while. I’ll be back tomorrow don’t worry. Bye.” Taehyung said and walked on.
“He said goodbye,” Jimin whispered to Jungkook’s father and ran to catch up to Taehyung.
---
Taehyung barely slept that night, he didn’t know why but he had a bad feeling. He tried to talk to Jimin about it but he was asleep and Taehyung didn’t want to disturb him. So Taehyung decided to stay up. He pulled out a box kept under his bed and took out a USB. Taehyung plugged it into his laptop and sat back. He flicked through the folders until he landed on the one called ‘taekook’. He clicked on the folder and hit play.
“Okay listen if we switch with Kim and Hyun then we can be together.” A younger Taehyung said from the screen.
“But Hyun hyung is rude and he will not switch,” Jungkook whined.
The video showed a scene from Jungkook’s first year in college, the same one as Taehyung. They were both in Taehyung’s room, which he shared with Jimin and another boy in their class named Hyun and they were currently trying to find ways to get Jungkook in the same room as them.
Taehyung was on Jungkook’s lap, filming him with a camera.They had previously tried to convince Hyun to move but it wasn’t any help, he apparently didn’t want to go through the trouble of moving all his things again.
“Hey, guys.” Hyun said as he walked into the room, he took one look at the desperate faces of the two boys and knew what they were talking about, “okay fine, if you want to sleep with these two so bad I’ll leave. Just don’t move in until the week is over so I can pack everything. You’re lucky Kim and I are friends kid.” Hyun said pointedly to Jungkook.
Jungkook could only beam in response even though Hyun was currently giving him the nastiest stare.
Taehyung smiled at the video, once they had gotten Jungkook all moved in, Jungkook spent more time in Taehyung’s bed than his own. Jimin quickly got tired of all the lover’s things and started to spend time outside the apartment when the two started to act sickeningly cheesy.
All three of them had gone out for coffee and Taehyung being the memory hoarder he was brought along his camera. Taehyung was recording the three of them loudly singing and laughing at some stupid joke Jimin had told them. Jungkook slipped his hand inside Taehyung’s as he recorded it and then caught Jungkook’s shy smile on camera as well. In the background, he could hear Jimin making gagging noises.
Once they had ordered their coffee the trio went outside and sat down on a bench near a fountain. Taehyung was teasing Jungkook about how he still couldn’t drink strong coffee. Jungkook whined and tried to hit Taehyung, Jimin had stolen the camera and was recording the couple act like idiots. Soon Jungkook was chasing Taehyung around for teasing him, their coffees long forgotten.
The next clip was of them walking home and Jungkook was on Taehyung’s back for some reason.
“Tae why are you carrying our muscle pig?” Jimin asked, recording the two from the front and trying not to back walk into a wall or a person.
“Cause apparently this is my punishment for teasing him,” Taehyung said fake pouting.
“You should be nice to me, I’m younger than you,” Jungkook said from atop his boyfriend, smug smile ever present on his face.
Taehyung knew it was a good idea to get that camera. He looked at the time and realized that he had been awake for too long. He closed his laptop and apologized out loud to Jungkook for staying up.
---
“Jimin can you please hurry up? I have a good feeling about today, he’s going to wake up today.” Taehyung said impatiently from the door.
“I- maybe we shouldn’t go today Tae. You don’t look well.” Jimin said, trying to stall for however long he could.
“Jimin I am perfectly fine, I will go without you,” Taehyung said - he was annoyed and disappointed with Jimin.
Jimin sighed and walked out of the door and to the hospital with him. They entered the hospital and all eyes were on Taehyung. The hospital staff had gotten used to him after Taehyung being present by Jungkook’s side every day for the past three months. There was sadness in their eyes. Taehyung greeted each of them like he would any other day, he pretended to not notice the change in demeanor. Taehyung went straight to Jungkook’s room and entered, only to find an empty bed.
“Doc, where- where is he?” Taehyung asked, his voice shaking a bit.
“He’s” the doctor stopped unable to look Taehyung in the face. “He’s gone Tae. He left last night.”
“Left?” Taehyung asked, his legs were wobbling. “Left to go home right, my Jungkookie is awake right.”
“I’m sorry Taehyung. He’s not with us anymore. His family pulled the plug yesterday…” the doctor was cut off as Taehyung lost all strength and fell to the floor. There were tears streaming down Taehyung’s face as he felt his heart break.
He felt such pain inside his body it was like he was being ripped apart from the inside. Taehyung’s eyes went out of focus and all the wind was punched out of his lungs. Taehyung felt like he was getting kicked in the gut over and over by soccer players. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t see and he couldn’t live. Jimin had come behind him and had wrapped his hands around Taehyung’s back trying to calm him down but Taehyung ripped his body away and ran out into the corridor.
Taehyung whipped his head around frantically and yelled out for Jungkook. He called again and again but he got no answer, Taehyung sunk back down to his knees, he was now whispering Jungkook’s name. In Taehyung’s delirious state he thought he saw Jungkook standing in front of him. A sad, small smile placed on his face and gentle tears falling down his face.
Jungkook bent down in front of Taehyung, he put his hand on Taehyung’s face, cupping it with one hand. Jungkook looked directly into Taehyung’s eyes, the eyes he had fallen in love with, the eyes Jungkook was prepared to see for the rest of his life until one drunk driver took it all away from him.
Taehyung brought a weak arm up to Jungkook’s eye, even though there was a river falling from Taehyung’s eyes he didn’t want even a single tear on Jungkook’s face. Taehyung tried to wipe it away, he shook his head as if to say no. Taehyung tried to smile for Jungkook, he tried to show Jungkook that it was okay, that he was okay but he couldn’t do it. Taehyung couldn’t stop the tears that were racing down his face, he couldn’t stop the choked sobs from escaping into the air.
To anyone else it looked as though Taehyung was holding onto thin air, it looked as though Taehyung was communicating with air but in a world where no one but Taehyung and Jungkook existed, he was holding his Jungkookie for one last time.
“Please don’t cry hyung.” Jungkook whispered against Taehyung’s hand, “Seeing you cry makes me want to cry.”
“You- you’re leaving me. I won’t cry if you don’t leave me.” Taehyung replied, his voice barely audible.
“Hyung I have to go, I don’t want to go but I have to. My time is over, it’s your time now.”
“I don’t want to have any time without you.” Taehyung said, his voice slightly rising, “Please Jungkook, I need you with me.” Taehyung finally yelled.
“No hyung, you need to live. You can do this without me. I’ll wait for you up here until I meet you again you need to live for both of us.” Jungkook said smiling a little, the back of his body starting to disintegrate illuminated the tears on his face. He was breaking away bit by bit and each broken piece was in the form of a butterfly
“Jungkook please- no Jungkook don’t go.” He continued to yell.
Jungkook simply smiled again, a sad small smile. Much like the one he gave in the beginning and wiped Taehyung’s face one last time before he disappeared forever.
“Jungkook no,” Taehyung yelled at open air, Jungkook had slipped through his fingers and all that was left of him was the memory of his smile. “Jungkook no.” he whispered and fell back.
Taehyung broke out into loud wails, tears and snot making a mess on his face. If all this time his crying was a soft drizzle now it was a hurricane of emotion that beat against every person in the vicinity. Jimin rushed to him once he was sure Taehyung had finished talking to Jungkook and once again wrapped his hands around Taehyung.
Silent tears fell down Jimin’s face and he held a wailing Taehyung against him. Jimin had lost a brother, a best friend; Jimin had lost part of his family but Taehyung. Taehyung lost himself, Jungkook was part of Taehyung. Jungkook completed Taehyung and now that he was gone Taehyung lost more than a lover, Taehyung lost part of his identity.
Jimin said nothing; there was nothing he could say. All he could do was hold his best friend as he broke apart.
---
“Where did you go Tae?” Jimin asked, it had been almost five months since Jungkook’s passing and Taehyung had become progressively quieter.
He had stopped eating and talking completely for the first three months but Jimin guilt tripped him into eating food and occasionally going out but even now Taehyung barely said anything. He stayed shut up inside his mind. The only time he talked was at night to a picture of Jungkook on his phone or when he visited Jungkook.
“Tattoo parlor,” Taehyung replied. This had surprised Jimin - he thought Taehyung must have just gone to Jungkook’s grave again; Taehyung spent an unhealthy amount of time there.
“What did you get?” Jimin asked, standing up and walking over to Taehyung.
“This. It- it reminded me of him.” Taehyung said and pulled up his sleeve.
Right there on his forearm was a small blue butterfly, it was beautiful and detailed. Jimin looked a little closer and recognized the three letters carefully carved into Taehyung’s flesh within the butterfly.
JJK
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Here's the fanart it's based on nerds:
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Cr6XC-cWAAAp9CW.jpg