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“You’re leaving soon, aren’t you?” Varka said quietly, his hand resting on her head.
His words hung in the air as Lumine fluttered her eyelids open, arching her head back to look up at him.
The pair were in Varka’s bedroom, lounging on the bed as they lazily enjoyed one another’s company. Lumine was nestled between his legs, her head resting against his chest as he caressed her with a level of care he had never shown anyone else.
The feel of his other arm, wrapped securely around her waist to hold her against him, as he ran his fingers through her golden hair was his favourite feeling in the world.
Varka’s expression was solemn, eyebrows pinched slightly and eyes downcast, avoiding her. His lips were pressed to a thin white line. She reached a hand to his cheek, caressing it, and he covered it with his own palm, closing his eyes and leaning into it.
“Yes,” she said softly, after some time, rubbing her thumb over his prickly jaw.
Varka moved her palm to his mouth and kissed it tenderly, his lips lingering on the rough skin of her calloused palms. He opened his eyes again, gazing down at her face. Her head was leaned back into his chest, hair mussed and amber eyes watching him intently with admiration and a hint of sorrow. He released her right hand, letting it fall back to the bed.
“I’m sorry I can’t go with you,” he murmured.
A soft smile graced Lumine’s lips.
“I wouldn’t expect that of you,” she replied, lifting her hand to trail fingers along the scarred forearm hugging her against him.
She glanced down to her lap, where her other hand lay, and she leaned against the arm that held her. Varka leaned down to kiss the top of her head, her soft, yellow hair tickling his nose. He breathed in long, cherishing the scent of her, indescribably fresh and floral for a man like himself. He never could tell one flower’s scent from another, though he had tried on occasion. His warm breath washed over her scalp as he exhaled deeply.
“Can I ask you something?” he asked, his right hand nervously drumming his fingers on the mattress under them.
“Of course,” she said, voice quiet, lacing her right hand with his, stilling the anxious finger-tapping.
“Do you ever…” Varka swallowed, hesitating, “feel like you settled by being with me?” He felt her stiffen as Lumine’s breath caught in her throat and her hand went limp on his in shock. She stirred from her seat between his legs, gently prying his left arm from around her waist. She folded her knees under her and turned until she was kneeling facing him. His eyes were cast downwards, embarrassed, and she cupped his face in her hands, prompting him to meet her eyes.
“I would not know how to settle, for someone as wonderful as you, Varka,” she whispered, her eyes searching his face for the source of the question.
He bit his lip, so uncertain, so vulnerable. He had never shown her this side of him, not as friends or lovers.
Varka, the Grand Master of the Knights of Favonius, was not a man anyone had ever imagined lacked confidence. His iron will, strength of both mind and body was renowned and admired by all. He was the kind of man who constituted a powerful ally of formidable foe, depending which side you were on.
Yet here, in this moment that the two of them shared, curled up on his bed in the blissful privacy they looked forward to every day, Varka had shown Lumine a new side to the greatest man she had ever known.
And, as she leaned forward to kiss him, she realised that she loved him more for it. Her heart swelled with adoration and pride. Because feelings made them human and by asking something so raw, that lay his insecurity bare before her, Varka had shown that he trusted Lumine with everything that he was.
The kiss was chaste and pure, Varka melting against the softness that was Lumine, as she loved him despite the flaws they both knew he had. She smiled radiantly at him when she pulled away, her palms still resting on his face.
Varka couldn’t resist the way his lips quirked into a smile that reflected her own as he looked at the woman in front of him. He lifted his large hands to take her face in his hands as well. Lumine closed her eyes, still smiling, and rested her forehead against his, relishing the feel of his touch and the way his steady breathing fanned over her.
“I miss you already,” Varka said with a heavy sigh, sounding as grumpy as a man twice his age.
Lumine laughed, a musical sound that echoed through the room. She leaned back, removing her forehead from his and lowered her hands to her lap. He kept his hands on the sides of her face for a moment, drinking in the beauty of her every feature, the warmth of the sun itself. Then he let his hands fall next to hers and she clasped them, squeezing reassuringly.
“Don’t miss me when I’m still here. You can practice your yearning after I’m gone,” she said simply, eyes twinkling in amusement.
Varka chuckled. “In that case, make sure someone hosts a competition on who can yearn the best while you’re gone. I’m sure I’d crush it,” he said, grinning.
Lumine giggled, her cheeks dimpling adorably as she did. “Would it help if I was the prize for first place?” she asked teasingly.
Varka shook his head vigorously. “Definitely not. How could I perform at my best if I was worried about someone else winning you as the top prize? The fear would ruin my presentation.”
Lumine laughed hard and loud, trying to imagine a melodramatic Varka putting on the performance of a man on the verge of grief with wanting something he couldn’t have. Her smile softened then as she gazed into his pale blue eyes.
“Make no mistake, I am coming back to you. I promise,” she said, her voice strong with vindication. Varka smiled wide at her and nodded.
“I know. Come back to me victorious, my love,” he said, voice low.
Lumine’s face flushed happily at his words, her expression bright with emotion. She leaned into his chest, wrapping her arms around his broad back. He returned the embrace, his arms easily encompassing her and he clutched her so tightly she grunted slightly. Lumine pressed her ear against his chest as she nuzzled into his embrace, hearing his heartbeat, calm and steady.
He loosened his grip so she could retreat if she wanted to but she lingered close, fingers playing with the creases of his shirt on his back. Varka gently combed a hand through her hair, closing his eyes so he could focus on the peace he felt at that moment. A part of him wished he could freeze them like that and stay there forever.
There was something special about the bond they shared, two heroes trying to live up to impossible expectations, the weight of the world falling on their shoulders. Here, with each other, they didn’t have to pretend.
Being with Lumine was the most authentic Varka had felt in a very long time. The fact that there was someone for him out there, that genuinely understood what it was like to be him, was beyond comforting. Getting to know her better over the many months since they had met, even as friends, had filled Varka with an adoration he did not recall ever feeling before.
She was helpful and loyal, strong yet gentle. She was mischievous, and loved to poke fun, but had no true ill intentions behind anything she said or did. She apologised easily and forgave easier.
However, she was also incredibly stubborn and held herself to impossibly high standards, trying to meet the expectations she imagined others had of her. Varka knew what that was like.
“Is there anything you want to do before I leave?” she asked, face still buried against his chest, small hands linked around his lower back.
“I can think of at least one thing,” he replied suggestively, squeezing her hip.
Lumine laughed and leaned back so she could look at him as she swatted him playfully.
“Is there anything else?” she emphasised, shaking her head disapprovingly. A smile curved her soft pink lips and her cheeks were flushed.
Varka chuckled and grazed her warm cheek with the back of his hand.
“I don’t care what we’re doing, I just want to spend as much time as possible with you,” he responded, genuine. She put a hand to her chin, thoughtful.
“Paperwork?” she asked, teasing. Varka groaned, managing a wry smile.
“Maybe I should have been more specific. I don’t care what we’re doing unless it’s paperwork. Then I do care,” he said with an exaggerated eyeroll, smiling all the while.
Lumine grinned mischievously. “Although… now that I think about it, I do recall visiting your office to help with paperwork before. I think it was a very productive visit,” she mused, tapping her chin as if in thought.
Varka slid his index finger under her chin and tilted her head up towards his face, a sly smile spreading across his face. Lumine’s insides curled with pleasure at the treatment.
“As I remember it, Honorary Knight, I don’t think we got much paperwork done,” he said, voice low and amused.
She leaned in closer to him, voice breathy. “Forgive me, Grand Master. You see, there was a very attractive man in the room at the time, and he was being unbearably distracting to the point that I found myself unable to complete the initial task.”
Varka used his free hand to brush the bare skin of Lumine’s thigh, making her shiver. “That sounds entirely unacceptable. You’ll have to show me exactly what happened so I can decide on the appropriate punishment for the knight involved.”
“Don’t worry, Grand Master,” Lumine whispered, leaning in so that their lips were achingly close, “I’m sure that can be arranged.”
Varka’s breath hitched as she brushed her lips over his, patient. She rewarded him with a deep kiss that made his heart sing. He caught her with a firm arm around her waist as she threatened to pull away from him and kissed her again, savouring her.
He tangled a hand in her hair as she softened against him, clutching the collar of his shirt. The kiss was patient and long, neither of them wanting to let it end. When Lumine pulled away, smiling up at him, he couldn’t resist pulling her back for another kiss.
Then another… and another… and another.
Lumine was in a fit of giggles by the end of it, laughter bubbling from her like a song from a bard’s lips. Varka smiled serenely as he gazed at her expression, her uncontrollable grin and twinkling eyes lighting up the whole room.
“I can’t believe I ever thought I knew love before you,” he whispered appreciatively.
Lumine blushed furiously, biting her lip self-consciously. “Well,” she said, embarrassed, “if you loved yourself half as much as I do, you’d have the biggest ego in all of Teyvat.”
Varka barked a laugh and twirled a lock of her hair around his index finger. “I’ve met a lot of people who could rival that claim,” he commented.
Lumine shook her head furiously. “Impossible, because half of infinity is still infinity,” she said with a confident smile.
Varka enveloped her in his arms and hugged her against his chest tightly.
“Have I ever told you that you’re perfect?” he mumbled into her hair as she rubbed her hand over his chest comfortingly.
“You have lied to me before, yes,” she replied, and he could hear the smile in her voice. He squeezed her again then loosened his grip.
“Tell me something,” she said quietly with interest, arching her head to meet his eyes. He nodded for her to continue, resisting the urge to interrupt her as he took in her tousled hair and rumpled dress. She really had a way of setting his whole heart alight.
“When did you realise you had feelings for me?” she asked. Varka smiled, his whole expression softening as memories of Lumine washed over him.
“When Dvalin dropped you in Nod Krai. You were like a shooting star coming down to save the day.”
Varka remembered that day well, he and his squad surrounded by the Wild Hunt. Then, out of nowhere, a brilliant golden light, like a comet falling from the sky had appeared in the sky above them. Suddenly, Lumine had landed in front of them in the middle of the fray, sword in hand. His heart had nearly beat out of his chest that day at the sight of her, beautiful as a goddess yet fierce as a wolf. That golden wolf-goddess sat in front of him now with valberry-red cheeks as she stared up at him in awe, eyes wide and unblinking.
She then buried her face in her hands, groaning. “Did you have to say something so embarrassing?” she whined, face still hidden from his view. Varka chuckled fondly.
“Alright, ask me again. I’ll say something less embarrassing.”
She cleared her throat. “When did you first realise you had feelings for me?” she mumbled, glancing up at him awkwardly.
“The first time I saw you deck Rerir in the face,” he said, fighting to keep a straight face.
Lumine responded by punching him in the arm. She glared at him, but her twitching lips betrayed her amusement. She continued the charade anyway, huffing to herself and beginning to scoot away from him toward the edge of the bed. Varka caught her arm and tugged her back toward him, and she landed on her back, head resting against his stomach. He looked down at her, curled up beneath him, her eyes narrowed and face flushed.
“Fierce as a wolf, just like you were that day and every other day I’ve known you,” he said with a smug smile.
Lumine covered her face with her hands. “You’re so embarrassing,” she groaned.
“It’s not my fault you’re so heroic without trying Lumine. A woman falls from the sky to save my sorry hide, the least I can do is fall for her.”
“This coming from the Knight of Boreas, Hero of Mondstadt!” she protested.
Varka rolled his eyes. “You’re also known as Hero of Mondstadt. And I don’t recall ever using a dragon to fly from one region to another. It’s like you’re trying to be a hero out of a story,” he mused.
“That was Venti’s fault,” she grumbled.
He stroked her cheek and she leaned into his touch. “And you?” he asked, “when did you realise?”
Lumine paused for a moment, thinking. “When I was waiting for you to come back from defeating Roland,” she said finally. “I knew you pretty well at that point and yet… while waiting there, not knowing what was happening, I couldn’t help but feel I didn’t know you as well as I wanted to. When you appeared underneath the tree in Windrise, I felt like I had never been as glad to see someone as I was to see you that day.”
Varka’s heart warmed at her tender expression, her soft, thoughtful voice. “I really didn’t know what would happen,” he replied, sombre.
“The man,” Lumine said with a wide smile, “who would rely on the thoughts and prayers of all of the people who love and cherish him to save him, didn’t know what would happen?”
Varka laughed and lightly flicked her on the nose. Lumine sat up and turned to kneel facing him, circling her arms around his neck.
“Varka,” she said, voice serious yet soft, “I have never felt like choosing you was settling. I want you know that.”
Varka nodded, smiling apologetically. “I know. Sometimes… sometimes I think too much about who you are to everyone else, and it makes me doubt myself. The great interstellar Traveller who has rescued almost every nation from crisis and saved countless lives.”
“I am just Lumine," she said and he felt her fingers gently tangle in his hair as she smiled sweetly at him. "And Lumine loves you Varka.”
Varka chuckled to himself, feeling foolish in the face of the most wonderful person he had ever known being so perfectly earnest with him. He cupped that beautiful face with his hand.
“I love you too,” he replied, leaning in to kiss her. It was serene, the way their mouths moved against one another so knowingly, so familiar, and yet his stomach still burst with butterflies the same way it had when she had kissed him for the very first time. It was joy and understanding and peace and it was all his.
So, Varka kissed Lumine like she was the most precious thing to have ever walked Teyvat. Because, to him, she was.