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Pretending to be from this timeline was surprisingly easy. Jay was lucky that Other Jay was such an asshole. Of course Jay McCarrol wouldn’t remember anything, he doesn’t need any of your time! He wouldn’t remember a fan he met! He wouldn’t even remember his own stupid songs!
The only person that this didn’t work with was Reid. He’d figure out what was going on sooner or later. But Jay would worry about that after he went back. That guy would be alive again, and he wouldn’t have to worry about being a wanted criminal. Then he’d go on his tour, and then he’d never see Matt again.
A small part of him had hoped that Matt would’ve seen through the facade. Maybe he was just deluding himself. Or maybe he really did believe that Jay was gone. Jay doesn’t really care what Matt believes. He’s going to be written out of the story, and there’s nothing he can do about it.
Jay hears the door open. Matt’s home with the supplies. The longest extension cord in the world, a bunch of rope, road worker gear, and a disguise for Jay. Which is just Jay’s normal outfit, with a Bluejays hat and sunglasses. He wordlessly gives Jay’s clothes back to him. They smell horrible. Did he get them straight from the RV?
He goes up to what should be his room, but is instead the cover band’s bedroom. The walls are lined with posters of Jay. They all stare at him while he takes off the outfit his staff had picked out for him. He sheds his clothes, and looks at his body in a mirror. It’s almost the same. His chest is hairier, he’s slightly more buff, and he has veneers. It’s still just him though.
He’s not sure what he expected. A couple of tattoos would’ve been nice. A big one right across his chest with bird wings. He’s gonna get that right when he’s done with the tour. A new era for Jay McCarrol. He’s just not sure what it would be. He can probably recycle some of the band’s better songs.
“JAY! What’s the holdup?!” Matt yells.
That’s his cue to put on the clothes. He quickly puts them on and looks in the mirror again. He’s no longer world famous superstar Jay McCarrol, he’s struggling musician Jay McCarrol. Trapped in a band that will never do anything by a man who has no other friends. Jay wonders what would’ve happened if he had just gone to Ottawa like he planned. Maybe he’d drop Matt off somewhere, and leave without him looking.
Matt stares at Jay as he walks down the stairs. He looks like he hasn’t seen Jay in years. Jay expects Matt to excitedly hug him, but instead he keeps staring at him. Making sure that his best friend is replicated perfectly.
“God, you look just like him. I mean, of course you would, you are him. But also you’re not him.”
“You know, what were those 17 years like with him?”
Matt starts telling Jay things he already knows. He talks about video game days and movie nights. He tells Jay every plan up to the Seventh Inning Skydive. He tells Jay about how much he loved living with Jay. How much Jay meant to him. How it hurt to realize Jay was gone. How he loved Jay, and never got to tell him that he did.
“In a gay way? Or just in a friendship way?”
“Both. I think you’re the first person I’ve told actually.”
Jay’s surprised. He never expected Matt to have feelings for him. Jay’s had them ever since he first set eyes on Matt on that bridge. He ignored them at first, but they kept growing and growing. He couldn’t ignore it anymore. Though recently, he’s had those thoughts locked away.
“Are you going to tell him?”
“I don’t think he’d feel the same.”
That hurt.
Thoughts swam through Jay’s mind. For the briefest of moments, he considered confessing to Matt. Apologizing for keeping up this facade around him.
Saying that he regretted even having the thought of leaving him. But he got ahold of himself, and locked those thoughts away deep down. He’d fall in love with someone else, and forget that he ever loved Matt.
“Jay, come on! We gotta get going!”
For the rest of the day, Jay couldn’t get Matt’s words out of his mind. He kept trying to suppress it with thoughts of fame. Adoring fans. Infinite money. Actual songs that people loved listening to. He could do anything he wanted to for the rest of his life without being weighed down by Matt. He could get as many Rivoli shows as he wanted.
It was like both sides of his mind were fighting a war. His love for Matt was losing. Soon, all that he thought about would be fame. But his love refused to lose. It persisted, even as his fame was slowly taking over. It bravely fought back, with hope that Jay would change his mind.
And he did. As Matt was consumed by the lightning, Jay knew he made the right choice.
—
Matt lied on the couch and stared at the ceiling. Jay had been missing all day. Matt had begun to fear the worst when Jay didn’t return any of his calls. He feared that he’d turn on the tv, and it would be the news. The news would be “42 year old man found dead” and then Matt would feel empty.
Then he heard the door open, and saw Jay run up to him. He heard words come out of Jay’s mouth that he didn’t believe were real.
“Matt, I love you. I’ve loved you since we were kids. I don’t ever want to give that up.”
Matt didn’t know how to react at first. But he found the words to express what he always felt.
“I feel the same, Bird. What’s gotten over you?”
“Just love.”
And so, the two kissed.