Work Text:
Young love was the last thing meant to last. Michael had seen it in the bitter arguments between his parents as he grew up. Only increasing after Sam was born. Despite the fact he was made to mend their marriage. What an awful burden for someone who didn't ask to exist.
Now it was staring him in the face, this little voice in the back of his head scolding him for what should have only been a summer fling. Instead it ended up as a year long drag. Michael could feel the guilt in his stomach, twisting his spine and grabbing his throat. Unfortunately Sam's friends might have been right. A shrink should've been used before really throwing themselves into a relationship.
He loved Star, hell and horror forging their relationship truly wasn't what made this love story he hopelessly dreamed of. Dad might've been right, maybe he was wrong, wrong to love. Star, she was fantastic, but she was so afraid and she felt so held back by the others. Yet he could see it, in her eyes. A part of her missed David, and resented herself for it.
Michael regrettably and grievously missed him too. It stung his lungs, pierced his heart. It felt wrong to want to see him, to stand by Star as they stared down at an unmarked grave. Yet who was under there was undeniable. Michael himself had packed that ground tight, hauling that bloody and battered body and tossing him into the ground.
Frankly he didn't know what he got out of doing it by himself other than an aching back.
“Michael?”
“Star?”
“Why do we keep coming here?” She asks softly, her voice in a low whisper. It was like she didn't want David to know they were here, but it's not like that would matter. He would have heard it. His bike coming up, their footsteps, the awkward cough he let out as she let out a soft gasp.
“Routinue?” Michael answers with. It was a stupid answer, he came here more than her. Michael thinks he does at least, they only come here together when Star is over at his house. She's been coming around less. Mom, and especially Sam had caught on and have been asking questions. “I, I don't know.” He tacts on with a tired sigh. He felt tired a lot, he could see Star did too. Both of their energies seemed to be draining one another. At least from what he heard in quiet passing conversation with his mother and grandpa.
He'll admit, it made his chest seize with dread. Michael wanted this to last, but they both knew it wouldn't last.
“Whatever there is after death, whatever David and the others had believed in. Do you think they are together?” Star asks. She seemed to reminisce more, sometimes Michael thinks she's having her doubts. The taste or mortality and the real world sitting bitter on her tongue. That she longs quietly for the night again. Star, well, she seemed harder to understand now more than ever. It was so much different when David's blood flowed together in their veins, the connection to her, to him. He wanted it back. Regrettably, he wanted it back.
“I dunno Star.” Michael mutters, shaking his head. “I didn't know ‘em. Not like you, like Laddie… I just knew David. I, I thought I did at least.” He hated himself, he wanted to know David more. Have that cool guy edge he had, to hear his voice again somewhere other than his dreams.
Michael wanted David, and he knew Star wanted him back too. Michael had a feeling he wasn't enough for her.
“Do you miss him?” He asks her suddenly. The silence falling over the both of them, thick and heavy with a newfound blooming tension. He could feel her expression change, and Michael slowly turned his head to look over at her, seeing the anger and confusion in her face.
“What kind of question is that?” She asks.
“I mean, I figured you did.” Michael says quickly, face running red. Maybe he thought differently.
“Michael no.” Or maybe she was trying to convince herself otherwise. “Michael I only come here because of you! You keep taking me, and it's not healing! It's just a reminder of the awful things I've been through!” She exclaims, shaking her head.
This relationship was a reminder of the awful things she had been through. Star could see it in Michael, the painful yearning that plagued him. That desire to have fit in, to have found that company.
She sat through these endless laments about David. How tiring it could be, to hear of him over and over. How Michael had never moved past what he had even if it hurt him, drove him away from his family closer to this darkness.
“Michael, have you not noticed how it hurts to come here? How clinging onto David does nothing for you.” She had wanted her life back so badly. She longed to be free, not to have the burden of the night sit heavy on her shoulders.
“I'm not clinging to him.” Michael's voice broke, and Star's expression shifted into something more hurt. The reason why this relationship suffered laying to rest under her feet.
“You are! You always have been!” Star says. “You think I have too? Michael I come here for you! I've made my peace, I've moved in and said my farewells! You remain stuck. Stuck in the summer! You can't keep doing this to yourself! I told you, I asked you for help that night! To help break Laddie and I both from that! To give us a chance to grow up and not share the undead burden with them that made those four a monster!”
It pains her to admit it. She had missed them too, she had grown some kind of connection to them in her half vampire state. The honest friendship she had formed with Paul, even in his anger choosing protection. The painful yet romantic relationship she had felt with David. Having never been loved like she had been loved by him.
Yet Star knew, holding onto all of that was not going to help her move on. It was all she had wanted, yet Michael remained stuck, reminding her endlessly. The love, although strong and there it was not worth it. Holding on any longer.
She had given up.
“I, I did! I did move on!” Michael exclaims.
“Then why are we here? Why do we keep coming here?” Star asks him, demanding an answer. An honest answer. “You still miss him!”
“But did you? Did you ever miss him?” He asks quickly, his voice sounding desperate and for what? What would he continue to get from this?
“I did. I did miss him, Michael, and I will admit this too, I missed the other. I missed David but I moved on. It was all I could do. It is all I can do, but aren't! You know you aren't!”
Michael did always have some awareness. He had a keen eye for knowing what was coming. Although his expression contorted into something of hurt there also seemed to be a sense of understanding. Perhaps even mutual, painfully mutual.
“I'm sorry.” He says, quietly. Awkwardly. “I… I felt different, a good different with him and you. I tried Star, I tried to move on.”
“And I tried to enjoy normalcy with you, but… all I am is just staring at a reminder.” Tears pricked in her eyes as she looked away, her gaze falling on the nameless makeshift headstone. “I don't think it'll work out anymore Michael, I'm sorry.”
“I don't think it has.” He says softly, staring at her. “I don't think it has for awhile now.” For a long moment he's silent then breaks. “Do you?”
“I don't think it has.” Star answers quietly, looking back at him. “Oh, Michael.”
“Yeah Star?”
“Sometimes, rarely. When the night is quiet, and the moon is full and stress sits heavy… I do… I do miss the fun times I did have with David and the others, before they turned me.”
“It was the best, before I turned too.”