Work Text:
Only in the darkest times can you see the truth in people…
After some time being “here” my mind tells me I’m a mistake.
I wake up every morning, knowing im not supposed to exist, and the only thing I feel I can trust nowadays, my mind, tells me im a mistake, and I'll ruin everything good on this planet and I should just disappear or actually to try to be useful, but I can’t according to myself. So who do I trust now?
I want to fly but I'm just falling back down, “be optimistic” they say. How; how and I supposed to be optimistic when I can’t even trust myself anymore.
maybe I should just disappear. According to everyone im useless. what is there to fight for? Logically thinking about it I haven’t done anything good in my time being here, I can't even be my own person. I did make a new friend though, they name is [fake name] We talked for a little but grew distant, im hoping to re-spark that connection but what’s the point? Do they think that to? I haven’t asked but why should I?
All I do Now, is sit in the dark and wonder if it’s time… I glare deeply at myself in the mirror and I have no legitimate reason to be mad and hate myself yet I do? So why do I? Ugh I hate this, like how I hate myself.
Should I just end it all now? Honestly, I don't even know what to think anymore do I trust myself the very thing that's telling me I shouldn't even be here or should I go out and ask the public opinion doesn't make sense either not gonna go up to a random stranger and ask what they think about me they barely know me. They'll probably just say something random considering of how rude the public is Today of course they would say something random and they'll say something pretty mean to. I don't even know how you trust anymore maybe that person why should I even talk to that person, they probably hate me. I mean, I don't know that for sure but come on. I haven't talked to me in a while.
I wish I could still fly but I'm just falling straight back to the ground so far I can't even see the bottom like I'm in some labyrinth, the labyrinth of my mind I guess… what are these metaphor-figurative sayings i’m using? See how bad it gets? I start to question and critique
(Here is where the timeline splits)
()
That’s it. I cant do it anymore. I'm ending it's all I can't take it anymore. I hate myself other people probably hate me. Why should I even continue? no, yes I guess not. Everyone hates me but everybody I know probably does. I'm just too drained for this. I think I would be better off gone. What difference would I make? I'm just one person
Tonight…
Dear whoever may take possession of this
I don't have much to say I don't think I should even say anything at all so you know what… Fine
I've just been feeling too drained. I'm not even supposed to exist. I'm just an anomaly. I'm not supposed to be here. I was never meant to be created and yeah, I'm not even original either. I don't even have a name for myself. I'm just called the anomaly that doesn't even have to matter now. goodbye.
Ha your so naive…
you really thought he would live?
Not in this timeline.
He still dies nothing can save him, he’s too far gone.
You must understand you cannot bend the world to your will and force it to do your bidding. Unfortunately even if it’s something you desire most. It will feel back at first but you will soon understand why it is to be this way. May the unnamed rest in peace as his body was never found because he killed himself by a river bank 2 miles away where he left the note pinned on the wall from his bedroom. He sat there to rot ans slowly became one with nature and forgotten soon on.
Oh need to understand life will be hard but you only can succeed. Don’t give up and I know it’s hard to believe that will do anything but it will if you try.
Now let me finish the story.
It’s time to say goodbye.
Fair well cruel world may no one miss me.
Goodbye
The bottle dropped to the bottom of the river, his body sitting lifeless on the river bank surrounded by floral and fauna.