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So, considering the fact that I’m still receiving fairly frequent questions about this fic and it’s purpose, I thought I’d take the time to introduce new readers to its core concepts and themes before they dive in. This also serves as a way for me to wax poetic about writing, and why I have written these characters the way that I have (the fun stuff). I’ll break it down into sections and try to keep it as spoiler free as possible. If anyone has any questions please feel free to ask down below. :)
1. Why do you write about this stuff?
Let me make this clear, I’m not a professional writer by any stretch of the imagination. I’m just a hobbyist, like the overwhelming majority of people who post on AO3, so take my attempt at literary analysis with a grain of salt. That said, I also want to make it clear that I am a horror writer, not a romance, or erotica author. Most of my fics are going to be more in line with ‘ow the edge’ type of content, unless I’ve received a request for a specific genre and follow through with it (like I did with ‘Kindred Spirits’). I mostly write psychological horror, since it’s fun to explore the emotions of characters as they experience that sweet, sweet angst. Most of my stories are actually requests though. This particular one is a little bit more personal.
Unfortunately when I was a young teen I was groomed by an older man, a father figure, into an unhealthy, sexually abusive relationship that lasted more than a decade. He had a fixation on my weight and encouraged the eating disorder I had developed at that time. This would shape how I would write going forward. If you were to look at my posted works you’d probably see reoccurring themes: exploitation, abuse, and grooming are all well catalogued. They say write what you know, and I know these things in spades. Writing is cathartic. Writing helps people process things in a safe, controlled environment. I also use other tools like art, music, and role-play to process these things. RPs can be especially helpful because I’m able to reenact abuse and choose differently based on what I’ve learned as an adult. Alastor is my ‘comfort character’, as I'm sure he’s many people’s. Writing stories about him and roleplaying with him is deeply helpful in the sense that he feels like a safe alternative to describing my own personal abuse.
2. What is the inspiration for this story?
This particular fic idea came about after hearing a very disturbing song from an infamous band that I had discovered on one of those iceberg chart videos on YouTube. It detailed a similar situation to the one I was trapped in, so it inspired me to do a RP on c.ai with my personal Alastor bot to work through those thoughts. It was (naturally) meant to be a very private thing, but I kept getting ideas that could be incorporated into something more than a self indulgent vent role-play. I sat on those ideas for around six months before finally deciding to flesh it out into a workable story. By that time I had already published fics prior to this one on other platforms ('Kindred Spirits' and 'Summer Fawn'), and had a modicum of interest, so I decided to give it a go. I hadn’t anticipated the amount of interest and outrage this story would garner, ha.
3. What is the genre?
This is a horror story. On its most basic level it’s meant to shock and disgust you. I’ve seen that it’s done that to many readers, which means I’ve accomplished what I set out to do. That said, if we’re talking literary tropes it’s decidedly a Gothic Horror story, specifically Southern Gothic.
If you are unfamiliar with this genre and want to learn more about it I HIGHLY recommend reading authors like Faulkner, Carson McCullers, and Flannery O’Conner. Though I’m assuming many readers have been introduced to it though it’s most tame offering, Harper Lee’s ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’.
Moving forward, Southern Gothic fiction has common tropes that appear across most Gothic fiction, like isolation, distorted psychology, gray morality, and tortured anti-heroes, but also offers its own tropes that are frequently featured across works. These can include:
* Severe isolation in decaying settings, and the general emotional and physical stagnation of the characters.
* Eccentric and mentally ill characters who may or may not be menacing. Flawed members of the ‘upper class’ or the wealthy/famous are prominently featured.
* Distortions of time and place, usually in reference to the past and former glory, grief, or former prosperity.
* Extreme violence and cruelty that often goes on behind closed doors. This often extends to a generally oppressive atmosphere, often expressed by references to the heat and harsh landscape.
* Incest and broken family dynamics. This extends to inter-generational trauma and echos of societal trauma like the scars of racism and the Civil War.
* Religious fanaticism and/or the use of Voodoo.
Ballet and body horror are major elements in this story, and much of the narrative is purposefully written to build and release tension, especially around Alastor’s character, but that’s spoiler territory. Maybe when the story wraps I’ll discuss my methods to writing effective horror scenes. :)
4. What is the main theme of the story?
The main theme is intergenerational trauma and nature vs. nurture. You’ll see that often in the reoccurring image of the ‘tiger’. There are also heavy themes of psychological abuse and codependency. One of the more enjoyable aspects of playing around with the Hazbin lore is the idea of Alastor as a God-like parental figure. You’ll see many references to Heavenly imagery, especially revolving around his character. This is obviously a direct nod to real world gaslighting techniques where an abuser often paints themselves a being angelic when the reality is far from it. It's fun to work with in the case of Alastor who is literally destined to become a demon.
5. Is this story canon compliant or an AU?
It’s pre-canon and compliant to the best of my abilities, since we don’t know what future seasons of Hazbin hold.
6. Why is it in the second person perspective?
Deciding on the perspective is, in my humble opinion, the most important aspect of preplanning when writing fiction. For some stories first-person is ideal, for example in ‘Summer Fawn’ I wanted the story told from the perspective of an unreliable narrator who may, or may not, be telling the story exactly as it happened. The narrator is an abuser, and abusers often sugar coat or minimize their involvement in the trauma that the victims endure. I’ve lived this first handedly, as my abuser would rather die before admitting to wrongdoing, and takes on a nice ‘blame the child’ stance for their behavior. Writing from this perspective gives the reader a sense of uncertainty about the narrative itself, which is always fun to play with.
Sometimes third person is good, especially for stories where you need an impartial viewer. Admittedly this isn’t my favorite perspective, but I have utilized it for stories where the reader is almost like a morally gray god watching horrible events unfold. In this case I’m not beating the reader over the head with moralization, rather, I’m allowing them room to judge there character’s actions themselves. This would be my go to for ship fics like Charlastor or Alastor/OC.
But for me, second-person is the gold standard in psychological horror.
Why? Because it eliminates that ‘safe’ distance between you and Alastor, your abuser.
In a normal story there is a healthy level of distance between the reader and the actions unfolding, as I’ve said, this gives the reader space to intellectually decide whether or not Alastor’s actions are vile and unforgivable. Putting the reader in the protagonist’s shoes strips them of their autonomy in the same way that Alastor has stripped away his daughter’s. Alastor’s actions are suddenly intimate, and all the more horrific for it, as they are now directed at YOU the reader. They also have a way of further isolating the reader from the ‘outside’ world, as we can bear witness to other characters actions independently of the Reader, but their true motives are as hidden to us as they would be to her.
7. Why does this story have strong elements of eroticism?
Gothic horror and eroticism have always gone hand in hand. The use of erotic language and scenes has been present in the genre for hundreds of years, this is especially true of abnormal or grotesque sexual behavior. We see this in novels like ‘Interview with a Vampire’ which include elements of underage relationships and necrophilia, or ‘Flowers in the Attic’ which uses incest. This story is no different.
I’m assuming that you’re going in because you like Alastor, you may even find him sexually attractive, as I do. This is important because it creates a cognitive dissonance in the reader where you ‘enjoy’ the eroticism, but know that it’s an awful thing that’s happening to you, the reader. This puts you in the protagonist’s shoes all the more, as she knows that the abuse is wrong, but enjoys it anyway. To me this amplifies the horror, I want the make the reader feel complicit in their abuse, as this is the closest I can bring readers to understanding what it’s like to be groomed by someone you thought you could trust. It’s like going willingly into the lion’s maw.
8. Why Alastor though?
Because I deeply love him as a character and feel safe writing about him. He is objectively evil, but we root for him anyway.
9. Why ballet and anorexia?
Both ballet and anorexia were featured in the aforementioned song I wrote about earlier, but having had first hand experience with clinically diagnosed anorexia, I heavily leaned into the ballet aspect, as it was an easy stand in for control. Alastor is a man who enjoys control, he also enjoys the aesthetics of a perfectly positioned, vintage persona. It makes sense that he’d be attracted to someone who he could pull off that public persona for him, his control over her body further strips her autonomy and makes her reliant on him alone. A ballerina who uses grace and control to hide her horrific abuse spoke to me, and there’s a lot to be said about the male gaze and how abuse tends to be compounding in there as well, but spoilers. :)
10. Will you incorporate other Hazbin characters?
Well, one at least, but they won’t be present for the overwhelming majority of the story. I’ve toyed with the idea of writing an epilogue, but I’m undecided.
Anyway. I’d be happy to answer any further questions below. :)