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By the time the United Nations building had settled into its afternoon break, Florida had already decided that the conference halls were built to drain the soul out of anyone who stood in them for too long
The carpet was too clean. The lights were too white. Every wall seemed designed by someone who believed human happiness could be filed under ‘miscellaneous’ and approved only after three rounds of paperwork
Even the potted plants looked like they had been briefed beforehand, each one standing in its assigned corner with the silent discipline of a government intern who knew one wrong leaf placement could cause an international incident
Florida had lasted exactly twentythree minutes inside America’s private office before he began drifting toward the door
America had taken the larger room with the glass walls, the one that looked out over the busy inner hallway where translators , assistants , diplomats , and exhausted staff members moved in a constant stream. His desk had disappeared under folders, nameplates, paper cups, charging cables, and one half eaten granola bar that probably belonged to California but had been claimed by Louisiana after ‘finding keepers’ were declared
Most of the states had scattered the moment break started
New York had left to argue with someone from France about finance, looking far too pleased for a person entering a conversation that would probably end with three passive-aggressive emails and a coffee stain on a treaty draft. California had been pulled into an interview about climate policy, sunglasses still resting on top of his head despite the fact that they were indoors. Alaska had taken one look at the crowd and vanished with the quiet skill of someone who could disappear into a snowstorm, a forest, or a badly organised diplomatic reception with equal ease
Texas was still in the office
That alone was nearly enough to make Florida leave faster
Texas had planted himself beside the window with his arms folded, boots wide apart, hat tipped just enough to make him look like he was waiting for a duel rather than a meeting. He had been muttering for ten minutes about ‘federal overreach’ though no one had said anything about federal overreach . America, who had clearly developed the survival instincts of a man raising fifty children with legal personhood and voting rights, had stopped responding after the third sentence
Florida slipped out while Texas was mid rant about catering portions
No one stopped him
The hallway outside was busier than the office but somehow easier to breathe in. There was movement here, at least. People passed with folders tucked under their arms and little translation headsets hanging around their necks. A group of human interns hurried by with the haunted expressions of people who had been asked to find a missing delegate in a building full of delegates who all had very strong opinions about being found. Somewhere nearby, someone laughed too loudly, then immediately lowered their voice as if remembering where they were
Florida wandered with no particular plan
That was how most good things happened, in his experience. You could schedule meetings, file agendas, colourcode diplomatic briefings, and still somehow end up trapped in a windowless room listening to Germany explain procurement regulations . Wandering, on the other hand , had given Florida some of the best parts of his life, strange roadside fruit stands , airboat rides at sunset, gas stations with suspiciously good sandwiches, and once, a raccoon that had stolen an entire packet of powdered doughnuts from the back of his truck and looked offended when asked to return them
The UN building did not have raccoons
It did, however, have abandoned bags
Florida noticed it near a row of low seats outside one of the smaller meeting rooms, tucked neatly beside the leg of a polished table. It was not truly abandoned in the dramatic sense. It did not look suspicious. It looked expensive, well kept, and carefully placed, the kind of bag that belonged to someone who had left for exactly two minutes and trusted the entire international system not to touch it
Florida did not touch it
At first
He only slowed down
Then
he stopped
Then his entire face changed
Hanging from one of the side zippers was an alligator keychain
Not one of those cheap rubber ones tourists bought in airport gift shops, with cartoon eyes and a tail that bent wrong. This one was embroidered. The body was stitched in deep green thread , darker along the back and lighter near the belly , with little golden details worked into the scales. The jaw had been shaped with surprising care, the teeth small but neat, the eyes bright and bead like. Someone had even stitched the tail with a gentle curve, making it look mid swim, as if the alligator had been caught gliding through dark water beneath cypress shadows
Florida stared
For a moment, the entire United Nations disappeared
There was only the little alligator swaying faintly from the zipper, catching light on its tiny thread scales
“Oh, you are gorgeous” Florida whispered
A passing intern glanced at him, then at the bag, then made the wise decision to keep walking
Florida crouched in front of it, boots creasing against the carpet. He leaned in close, careful not to brush the bag, and tilted his head as if the keychain might reveal more details from another angle. The stitching was even better up close. The little legs were not just flat loops but layered with thread, and the snout had a slight ridge that made it look properly solid
He needed a picture
Not for stealing. Not for anything weird. Just for evidence. For appreciation. For the sacred documentation of a fine alligator object found in the wild
Florida pulled out his phone
He angled it carefully, tongue pressed against the inside of his cheek in concentration. The hallway lighting made the thread shine strangely, so he shifted to the side. Then he shifted again. Then he crouched lower, because the best angle was obviously slightly below the snout, where the tiny embroidered jaw looked at its most powerful
He was still adjusting the focus when a voice above him said “Excuse me”
Florida froze
Slowly, with the stiff caution of a man caught doing something deeply innocent in the most suspicious possible posture, he lifted his head
A young looking countryhuman stood over him, holding a paper cup of tea in one hand and a folder in the other. He was dressed neatly, though not in the stiff, expensive way some nations dressed when they wanted their clothes to do half the diplomacy for them. His shirt was pale and crisp, sleeves fastened at the wrist. A dark jacket hung over one arm. His expression was not angry, exactly
It was more confused
Very confused
His eyes moved from Florida’s phone to the bag, then back to Florida’s crouched position on the floor
Florida rose too quickly, nearly knocking his knee against the table
“Howdy” he said, because that was usually a good start
The other countryhuman blinked
Florida lowered his phone
“I was not stealing your bag”
“I did not say you were”
“I also was not taking a picture of any documents”
The other countryhuman’s gaze dropped to the closed folder tucked under his own arm
“I did not say that either”
Florida nodded once, very seriously, as if this had cleared everything up
“I was taking a picture of your alligator”
There was a pause
Not the tense kind. The kind that happened when someone had prepared themselves for one category of problem and been handed another category entirely
“My… alligator?”
Florida pointed, careful not to touch the keychain. “That little fella right there”
The countryhuman looked down at the side of his bag
The embroidered alligator swayed faintly, innocent and magnificent
“Oh” he said. “That”
“That” Florida repeated, with feeling
The countryhuman looked back at him. “You like it?”
Florida’s face opened with such immediate sincerity that the other’s suspicion had no time to survive
“Like it?” Florida said. “That is one of the prettiest gator keychains I have ever seen in my life, and I have seen enough gator keychains to make several government officials concerned”
The young countryhuman stared at him
Then, slowly, his mouth twitched
“It is not an alligator” he said
Florida went still
The hallway moved around them . People passed. Someone called for a translator . A printer beeped angrily from a nearby office
Florida lowered his gaze to the keychain again
The creature remained green. It remained long snouted. It remained, in his professional emotional opinion, extremely alligator shaped
He looked back up
“What do you mean, it ain’t an alligator?”
“It is a crocodile,” the other said
Florida inhaled
Not dramatically. Not yet. But deeply enough that somewhere in the building, Texas probably felt a disturbance and turned his head
The countryhuman seemed to realise something had shifted. His grip tightened slightly around his tea cup
Florida pointed again, still polite, still careful, still visibly suffering
“Sir” he said “that is a broad snout.”
“It is stylised”
“That is a U shaped jaw”
“It is embroidery”
“Those teeth sit inside the mouth”
“It is small.”
Florida took one step closer, then stopped himself with the effort of a man remembering that international friendships could be destroyed by tone
The other countryhuman watched him with growing interest now. Not alarm. Interest. The way one might watch a machine begin making a sound that was definitely not in the manual
Florida pressed one hand to his chest
“I apologise. I have not introduced myself , and here I am, accusing your crocodile of being a gator ”
“That is a very strange sentence” the other said
“I get that a lot” Florida straightened properly and offered his hand “Florida. Statehuman of America’s”
The other looked at the offered hand for half a second before shifting his tea cup carefully into the same hand as his folder. Then he shook
His grip was neat and firm
“Guangdong” he said “Provincehuman of China”
Florida’s eyebrows lifted
“Oh ” he said, brightening “That explains why you look like you got better funding than most of us”
Guangdong tilted his head “What does that mean?”
“It means your shirt looks ironed by somebody with national pride”
Guangdong looked down at his own sleeve, then back up at Florida
“I ironed it myself”
“Exactly. National pride”
Guangdong made a soft sound that was almost a laugh but had been folded into politeness before it could fully escape. He set his tea down on the little table and picked up his bag , holding it by the strap . The keychain swung again between them
Florida’s eyes followed it automatically
Guangdong noticed
“You really like alligators?”
Florida looked personally wounded by the word ‘like’ as if it were too small for the feeling
“I love them”
“Why?”
That should have been an easy question
Florida opened his mouth, then closed it again. His gaze drifted back to the keychain, and something in his expression softened, not enough to become serious, but enough to make the answer less of a joke
“They’re old ” he said “Older than most things that still walk around like they own the place. They sit in the water looking lazy, but they know exactly what’s happening. They survive storms. They survive heat. They survive people being stupid near them, which is honestly more impressive than surviving storms”
Guangdong listened without interrupting
Florida rubbed the back of his neck, a little embarrassed by himself now “And they got cute faces”
Guangdong stared at him
Florida stared back
“They do” Florida said
“I have seen pictures”
“Then you know”
“I am not sure I agree.”
“That is because you have not seen the right pictures”
Guangdong’s mouth twitched again
Florida noticed the almost laugh and decided, with the instinct of someone who had made friends in far stranger places, that he was not going to leave yet
Guangdong adjusted the strap of his bag over one shoulder “You were going to photograph it?”
“If you don’t mind” Florida said quickly “I can delete it if it bothers you. I wasn’t trying to be strange”
“You were crouching on the floor in front of my bag”
“That was for the angle”
“That does not make it less strange”
“No, sir, it does not”
This time Guangdong actually laughed, though softly, looking down as if the sound had slipped out before he could file it through the proper office
Florida grinned
The keychain swung gently between them, its little green body turning in the air
“You may take the photo” Guangdong said
Florida’s entire face lit up “Bless you”
“It is not a blessing”
“It is to me”
He crouched again , this time with permission, and took the photograph properly . Guangdong stood beside the table, tea cooling behind him, watching with the faintly baffled patience of someone who had not expected his afternoon break to involve a statehuman conducting a miniature wildlife photoshoot in a UN hallway
Florida took one picture
Then another
Then one more from the side
Guangdong cleared his throat
Florida stood immediately “Done”
“How many did you take?”
“Three”
“That is reasonable”
“I wanted seven”
“That is less reasonable”
Florida slipped his phone away before temptation could ruin diplomacy. He glanced toward the meeting room doors, then down the hall, then back at Guangdong
“You on break too?”
“Yes, China is speaking with several people. I was told to use the time productively”
Florida looked at the tea, the folder, the neatly carried bag
“And are you?”
Guangdong followed his gaze
“I was reviewing notes”
“That sounds like work wearing a fake moustache”
“What?”
“Pretending to be break”
Guangdong considered this “Yes. Probably”
Florida nodded with the solemn satisfaction of a man who had identified a universal truth
Around them, the UN carried on being the UN. A pair of European delegates moved past in low conversation. Someone’s phone rang with a sharp electronic tune before being silenced in panic. The air smelled faintly of coffee, paper, polished floors, and that particular kind of stress produced only by international organisations and group projects
Florida leaned one hip against the table “My siblings are mostly doing the same thing”
“You have many siblings?”
Florida gave him a look
Guangdong paused
“Right..” he said slowly “Fifty”
“Fifty states” Florida said “Plus territories, but that gets complicated depending on who you ask and how much they want to argue”
Guangdong’s eyes sharpened with interest “America treats you all as his children?”
“More or less”
“Even the older ones?”
“Especially the older ones. They get dramatic if he does not”
Guangdong looked genuinely curious now. His earlier confusion had settled into something quieter, more attentive. He was not just being polite. He was collecting the information, setting it somewhere in his mind, comparing it with something of his own
“In China” he said “it is different”
Florida shifted, giving him room to continue
Guangdong lowered himself into one of the hallway seats, placing his bag carefully beside his leg. The alligator-crocodile keychain rested against the fabric like a small green witness. Florida took the seat across from him, elbows on his knees, attention fully caught
“China treats Hong Kong and Macao more like children” Guangdong said “Not in every way, but… closer. The rest of us are more like students. Provinces. Regions. Municipalities. He teaches. Directs. Corrects.”
Florida pictured China at the head of a classroom with a pointer stick and a terrifyingly organised lesson plan
“That sounds stressful”
Guangdong gave him a mild look “You have fifty siblings and America”
Florida held up a finger, then lowered it
“That is fai
“Does he correct you often?”
“America?” Florida snorted “He tries”
Guangdong’s eyes narrowed slightly, amused “That sounds like no”
“It means I hear him, I respect him, and then sometimes I do whatever I was already doing because the swamp called and I had to answer”
“The swamp called?”
“It does that”
Guangdong studied him for a moment, perhaps trying to decide whether this was an idiom, a joke, or a medical concern
Florida let him wonder
Then Guangdong asked “Are all states like you?”
Florida laughed so hard he had to lean back in the seat
“No” he said “No, absolutely not. Some are worse”
Guangdong’s eyebrows rose
Florida began counting on his fingers “Texas is loud. California is shiny and expensive. New York acts like standing still is a personal failure. Louisiana cooks like he’s trying to bribe God. Alaska appears and disappears like a government funded cryptid. Ohio-“
He stopped
Guangdong waited
Florida shook his head “Never mind Ohio”
“That sounds concerning”
“It is”
Guangdong looked down, smiling into the rim of his tea before taking a sip
Florida noticed that his shoulders had loosened a little. Not fully. Guangdong still sat neatly, knees angled in, folder resting against his thigh, every movement controlled enough to suggest he had spent years being watched by people who expected control from him. But the tightness around his mouth had eased. His eyes no longer flicked toward the meeting room every few seconds
“So what about you?” Florida asked “Are all provinces like you?”
Guangdong nearly choked on his tea
Florida grinned “That a no?”
“That is a very large no”
“Good. I was hoping”
Guangdong dabbed at the corner of his mouth with a napkin from his bag, clearly trying to regain dignity “There are many differences. Some are quieter. Some are more traditional. Some are very direct. Some think they are more important than everyone else”
“That sounds like family”
“It is not family”
Florida tilted his head
Guangdong looked at the floor for a moment
“It is not called family” he corrected
That landed differently
Not heavily. Not enough to make the crack fic air collapse into drama. But Florida heard the little shift under the words, the careful way Guangdong had moved around them. He had grown up around enough loud love to recognise quieter shapes of it, even when wrapped in hierarchy and paperwork
He did not press
Instead, he nodded toward the keychain
“So who gave you the crocodile-that-is-definitely-a-gator?”
Guangdong gave him a flat look
Florida smiled innocently
“It was from a local craft market” Guangdong said “A small one. I liked the stitching”
“You bought it yourself?”
“Yes”
“That’s respectable”
“Why?”
“Means you saw a little reptile and said ‘That one. That one comes with me.’ That is a powerful choice”
Guangdong looked at the keychain as if reassessing his own purchase under this new, ridiculous light
“I suppose” he said.
Florida leaned forward “Do you have crocodiles where you’re from?”
“Not commonly in my city” Guangdong said “But there are crocodile farms in China. And many reptiles in the south. Snakes, lizards, turtles. Some people keep them. Some people eat them”
Florida’s expression shifted
Guangdong noticed instantly “You eat alligator”
“That is different”
“How?”
Florida opened his mouth
Closed it
Opened it again
Guangdong’s face remained calm, but his eyes were laughing
Florida pointed at him “You are trickier than you look”
“I am from Guangdong”
“That mean something?”
“It means people assume we eat everything”
Florida sat back, delighted “Oh, we have that too”
“You do?”
“People think Florida is just gators, oranges, hurricanes, old people, theme parks, and people doing crimes in gas stations”
Guangdong considered this
“Is it not?”
Florida placed one hand over his heart
“Friendship nearly ended before it began”
“You called my crocodile an alligator”
“Because it is one”
“It is not”
“It has a broad snout”
“It is embroidered”
They stared at each other for a second
Then both of them smiled
The hallway lights hummed overhead. The meeting break continued around them, but the little space between their chairs had become something separate from the official building. Not private, exactly. Nothing was private in a place like this. But it was easier there. Less polished. Less rehearsed
Florida took out his phone again, not to photograph the keychain this time, but to pull up a picture “Here . Look. This is a baby gator”
Guangdong leaned slightly closer
The picture showed a small alligator in someone’s careful hands, dark body striped with yellow, round eyes alert and deeply unimpressed
Guangdong stared
Florida waited
A small crease formed between Guangdong’s brows
“It is… smaller than I expected”
“It’s a baby”
“It looks angry”
“It’s a baby”
“Babies can be angry?”
Florida thought of America’s house during any major election year
“Yes”
Guangdong took the phone carefully, looking closer at the picture “The stripes are nice”
“Right?”
“It looks like it would bite”
“Oh, absolutely.”
“You still think it is cute?”
“Look at that face”
Guangdong looked
The baby alligator glared from the screen like it had personal grievances against the entire species that had picked it up
Guangdong handed the phone back
“I understand a little
” he said
Florida looked as if he had just won a diplomatic breakthrough of historic importance
“Progress”
“I said a little”
“I heard progress”
Guangdong shook his head, but the smile stayed
Then he reached into his own pocket and took out his phone
Florida leaned forward immediately
Guangdong tapped through his gallery with the careful scrolling of someone avoiding work photos, official documents, and possibly embarrassing screenshots. At last, he turned the screen around
“This is a pangolin” he said
Florida’s eyes widened
The animal on the screen was curled partly inward, scales overlapping like living armour, small face tucked near its claws
“Well, ain’t that the strangest pinecone I ever saw” Florida said softly
Guangdong’s smile widened before he could hide it
“It is not a pinecone”
“I know, I know. But look at it”
“It is protected”
“It should be. That thing looks like God made a shy artichoke and gave it feet”
Guangdong pressed his lips together
His shoulders shook once
Florida grinned “You got more?”
Guangdong hesitated only a second before swiping to the next picture
By the time the second half of the break was nearly over, Florida had seen pangolins, Chinese alligators, giant salamanders, red crowned cranes, and one blurry photograph Guangdong insisted was a civet despite Florida saying it looked like a raccoon wearing eyeliner
In return, Florida showed him alligators, manatees, flamingos, panthers, a gopher tortoise, three pelicans in a parking lot, and one video of a raccoon washing a grape in a birdbath
Guangdong watched the raccoon video twice
“For research” he said
“Of course” Florida said
The UN announcement chime sounded overhead, polite and soulless
Both of them looked up
A voice reminded delegates that the next session would begin soon
Guangdong’s expression changed first. The softness folded away, not gone, but stored. He straightened in his chair, collected his folder, checked his tea cup, adjusted the strap of his bag. The student returned. The province returned. The careful young official under China’s long shadow returned
Florida saw it happen
He stood too, slower
“Well” he said “I should probably go back before America notices I’m gone”
“Will he be worried?”
“No. But Texas might start a debate, and I prefer to be present when he embarrasses us”
Guangdong nodded as if this was reasonable, though his eyes suggested he had questions
Florida glanced at the bag again
The keychain hung between them
“Thank you for letting me photograph your definitely-alligator”
“Crocodile”
“Your emotionally alligator-adjacent crocodile”
Guangdong seemed to accept this compromise with great reluctance
Then he looked at Florida’s phone
“Do you have WeChat?”
Florida blinked “Do I have what?”
Guangdong stared at him
Florida stared back
Somewhere in Guangdong’s face, a decision was made
“Give me your phone” he said
Florida handed it over immediately
Guangdong paused “You should not give your phone so quickly to someone you just met”
“You have a gator keychain. I trust your judgement”
“It is a crocodile..”
“And yet here we are”
Guangdong sighed, but there was no real annoyance in it. He guided Florida through downloading the app, tapping through menus with quick, practised movements. Florida watched as if Guangdong was performing advanced engineering
America would have called it a security concern
Texas would have called it communism
Florida thought it was neat
When the account was finally made and the contact exchanged, Guangdong handed the phone back
“There” he said “Now you can message me”
Florida looked at the new contact on his screen
Guangdong’s name sat there neatly, official and impossible to mistake
Florida smiled
“I have a communist friend now”
Guangdong closed his eyes for one brief second
“I am begging you not to introduce me that way”
Florida’s smile widened
“No promises”
Guangdong gave him a look so tired it nearly belonged to China himself
Then the hallway shifted again as delegates began moving back toward the meeting rooms. Their small break space dissolved into the larger machinery of the UN. Guangdong picked up his tea. Florida stepped backward into the flow of people
“See you in there?” Florida asked
“Probably” Guangdong said
Florida lifted two fingers in a loose wave “Bye, crocodile man”
Guangdong’s reply came dry and immediate yet a faint smiled played on his lips
“Goodbye, alligator state”
Florida laughed all the way down the hall
By the time he reached America’s office, most of his siblings had returned. The room had become louder in his absence. California was talking with New York near the glass wall. Louisiana had acquired another plate of food from somewhere mysterious. Georgia was checking messages. Alaska was standing in the corner despite no one having seen him enter
America looked up from his papers “Where did you go?”
Florida walked in with the bright, satisfied expression of a man returning from a successful expedition
“I made a communist friend”
The room went silent
America’s pen stopped
California slowly lowered his drink
New York’s eyebrows rose
Texas turned
For one beautiful, dangerous second, no one spoke
Then Texas slammed one hand onto the table and shouted “YOU DID WHAT?”