Chapter Text
“I’m now becoming my own self-fulfilled prophecy”
- MARINA, "Oh No!"
Saint Cassian Catholic Boarding School.
It was one of the most prestigious academies in all of Canada, and Ocean did everything she could to get there. While everyone else spent middle school thinking about friends and dating, she joined every sport she could, studied to a high degree, rose to the top of student leadership, and graduated valedictorian. All for that merit scholarship.
And it sure as hell paid off. She escaped the hippie village she was raised in and now lives in what she could only describe as an academic paradise. She woke up at the crack of dawn for the debate society, spent an entire day learning and discussing, and concluded with a leadership activity of her choice.
On the topic of electives, she chose International Law & Diplomacy and Model UN for her fifth-block electives this year. It was a tough choice, considering all the offers. She still managed to pack her schedule to the absolute brim.
She stepped off the charter bus and took a long breath of Saint Cassian air. Her lungs need a good reset after being bombarded by secondhand smoke for a summer. Besides, the air always smells different at Saint Cassian. It’s reminiscent of apple cider and parchment.
She lifted her luggage off the bus and walked up the cobblestone path, her bag bumping along the stones and jerking her arm as she went. The trees in the courtyard are as green as ever, with specks of sunlight shining through the leaves and down onto the students walking.
She took her time and enjoyed the scenery, since she knew she didn’t have much to unpack when she reached her dorm. She left most of her belongings here so they don’t return smelling like weed. God knows what would happen if someone thought she was smuggling drugs in. She’d lose prefect status in an instant.
Prefect status! That was a new development for her. According to the letter she received a week ago, she was the first pick for Marsh Hall’s prefect. Wasn’t that exciting? It’s a perfect way to spend senior year.
Besides that, there’s something special about walking through campus on Orientation Day. The hallway bulletin boards are yet to be packed with club advertisements, freshmen are trying to navigate campus, and there’s an air of excitement all around. Early September has to be her favorite time of year. Well, second to finals. And midterms. And maybe sports week.
Finally, she made it to Marsh Hall. The tall, vine-covered, brick building that sat on the borders of the woods, only a minute walk from the Dominguez Lecture Hall and Helbing Library, was widely considered the best dorm on campus.
It has also been her home for the past three years.
She pushed open the oak door into the common room. The familiar brick fireplace and felt couches greeted her as she stepped inside, her Mary Janes clacking on the wooden floors.
“Oce? Is that you?” a voice called from upstairs.
“Yep!” Ocean shouted back. “Help me bring my bags in, Connie!”
Constance Blackwood had been her roommate and best friend since freshman year. She’s a sweet girl, though not the best academically. Everyone knew she got in on legacy.
Constance came bounding down the stairs with a huge smile on her face and threw her arms around the redhead. “Oh my God, I missed you!” she exclaims, pulling herself away to let Ocean breathe. “How was your summer?”
“It was…” Ocean trailed. “Well, I’m glad to be back,” she said, handing Constance her suitcase. They trudged up the stairs together as Constance rambled about her summer spent at her grandmother’s beach house in Puerto Rico.
The Blackwoods are a well-known family here at Saint Cassian. According to Constance, the Blackwoods have attended the school since its founding in 1872. In the years since, her family donated substantial sums and even funded the construction of various buildings.
Constance hauled the bag up the last set of stairs and took a moment to breathe. “I forgot… to mention,” she gasped, “Trishna… went back to India… to finish school… so, we have a new roommate.”
“She left?” Ocean asked skeptically, pushing the door to their dorm room open and leading Constance inside. “Why didn’t she write to me over the summer? I thought she had my address…”
Constance shrugged and put Ocean’s luggage beside her bed. “Must’ve got lost in the mail. Or she was really busy working on her butterfly research project. You know how focused she gets with that stuff.”
It bothered Ocean that Trishna didn’t tell her. One would think she’d at least have the courtesy to write back to one of her best friends. But that didn’t matter now.
Ocean sat on her bed with crossed legs and watched as Constance lay face down on her mattress. “I missed this bed,” she says, muffled by her pillow.
Their room had been decorated from wall to wall with posters, pictures, and old sticky notes, sectioned off into clean thirds, though the section that used to be Trishna’s now lies blank. Ocean wondered what the new girl would hang on her wall. Hers was filled with reminders and motivational quotes, while Constance decorated hers with crumpled posters for Melanie Martinez and MARINA. Ocean hoped she was considerate enough to keep their clean pink-and-purple color palette.
“Ooh!”
Constance sprang out of her bed, pulling Ocean out of her internal monologue. “I haven’t opened my schedule yet,” she said, scrambling to grab an envelope in her bag. “I wanted to reveal it with you.”
“Well, I may have looked once or twice on the bus,” Ocean said, unzipping her luggage and retrieving her course selection, “but I hope we’re in some of the same classes. Last year sucked when we only had chemistry together.”
Constance sat beside Ocean on her bed and tore open the envelope, rushing to see what was inside. “Okay, okay. What’s your first block on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday?”
Ocean skimmed over her schedule one more time. “Advanced Moral Theology in the David Chapel Annex.”
“Damn,” Constance muttered. “I chose Shakespeare and Performance Studies. Do you have Environmental Science and Stewardship for the second block?”
“No, that’s my English period. I’m doing Advanced Rhetoric and Persuasive Writing, but I might be able to catch you between blocks if I get there early. Do you have third-period tennis and fourth-period statistics?”
“Yes and yes!” Constance exclaimed, scooting even closer on Ocean’s small mattress. “What does your schedule look like on Tuesday and Thursday? I remembered you said we were taking the Chamber Choir for electives, so I signed up as early as possible.”
Ocean glanced back down at the paper. “Good. I have Advanced Chemistry, International Relations & Conflict, Chamber Choir, and Classical Latin & Church Texts.”
Constance reads over her schedule, furrowing her brow. “Nope. History of the Catholic Church, Scripture & Interpretation, Chamber Choir, and Spanish Conversation & Culture. All the classes my mom wanted me to take.”
“What about extracurriculars?” Ocean asked. “I chose International Law & Diplomacy and Model UN, with Debate Society as my zero.”
“You’re taking a zero period?” Constance asks, her voice dropping a note. “I thought you said we’d spend breakfast together this year.”
“Miss Moran asked me to join the Debate Society team again,” she explained. In all honesty, Ocean had entirely forgotten she’d promised Constance to drop zero period. “She even said I could be president this year; I couldn’t turn it down.”
Constance sighed and read over her schedule. “It’s fine. I’m taking orchestra, but we’ll still have Model UN together.”
“Great!” Ocean exclaims, turning around and kneeling on her bed. She reached over and grabbed a pushpin from her desk and carefully stuck her schedule to the center of the corkboard above her bedframe. She loved pressing the first notice into a fresh corkboard. In just a few months, it’ll be filled with assignment reminders.
“Well, good to know we at least have some classes together,” Constance said. She pushed herself off Ocean’s bed and pulled out her clothes, which had been meticulously packed into moving boxes that were strewn across the room.
They spent the next hour moving into their dorm room and chatting. Ocean hung the few skirts, sweaters, and blouses that made up her casual attire, but all of her uniform pieces were still in the closet from the previous school year. She remade her bed, fluffed her pillows, and did some light dusting, but for the most part, she was fully moved in. Constance, on the other hand, always took upwards of three hours rearranging her stationery and decorating with whatever new fairy lights her parents got her. So, while she was deciding between comforters for her bed, Ocean removed her formal uniform from the hanger and got ready for Orientation Dinner.
As the clock tower chimed six, the girls made their way over to the Headmaster’s hall, attired in formal blazers, pinafores, and red ties. Ocean always preferred the formal uniform to the casual one. She thinks they have more class.
Constance clings to her side while they walk across campus, fidgeting with her friendship bracelet and gazing out at the red and orange skies. “I can’t believe it’s our final welcome dinner,” she said. “Are you nervous about being a prefect this year?”
Ocean scoffs. “Of course not.”
“Right,” she corrects herself. “You’re never nervous. You’re Ocean.”
Constance sticks her hands in her blazer pockets and hangs her head, biting her lip and licking off her strawberry lip gloss. Ocean had given up on trying to get her to stop doing that. They continued down concrete and cobblestone paths, weaving around students and trees, until they reached Headmaster's Hall.
Headmaster’s Hall is the crown jewel of the campus. With its looming height and Renaissance-inspired architecture, it’s the first building one would think of when someone says “Saint Cassian”. Of course, that’s only where the students ate dinner.
They entered through the large oak doors and found their spot. Ever since Freshman year, they’ve sat at the middle leftmost table with Trishna, Noel, and Ricky, right by the fireplace. When the small tables were swapped for the long benches at special assemblies, they would fight kids for the closest seats they could get to their usual table. Now, Ocean wondered who would take Trishna’s spot. Maybe she could offer it to their new roommate and show how outreach-oriented her friend group is!
The hall is decorated with red and white banners and flowers for the ceremony. The spirit squad comes in a week before school starts, just to set up for orientation. Ocean considered joining the squad and leaving home a week earlier, but decided she would rather be in Debate.
Besides the decorations, the faux candles hanging from the chandeliers were lit, which was a rarity. The buffet tables had been taken down and replaced by a podium and a line of benches for the welcome ceremony. At orientation and other special occasions, the students had all their meals served family-style.
Constance and Ocean arrived at their seats before Noel and Ricky did. Ocean couldn’t remember the last time those two were early for anything, even an event as important as the welcome ceremony. Their final one, no less.
It’s at that moment that Ocean hears the familiar sounds of crutches and Noel’s voice. “And I told them, this building is at capacity. They won’t listen, goddamnit. If you’re overapplied, don’t overaccept, or build a new fucking dorm room. Don’t turn my single into a double.”
“Language!” Ocean hissed. She really doesn’t need Noel’s foul mouth to get us in trouble before the school year even begins.
“Hello to you, too, Ocean,” he replied sarcastically, sitting down across from Constance and her, with Ricky following suit. “Admin is screwing with my dorms again. I paid for a single, and they're turning it into a double to accommodate a new student. I got a refund and shit, but I don’t want a refund; I want a single!”
Noel’s been Ocean’s frenemy since freshman year, when they started as academic rivals in English class, until they were put into a group project and just started hanging out.
Ocean elbowed Constance, urging her to change the conversation and shut Noel up. “So, how were your summers?” she asked, springing into action.
Noel grabbed the napkin off his plate and folded it on his lap. “My mom was working, so I wrote some new material for my novel. It’s not like I have any friends back home to hang out with anyway.”
“I worked on my art school portfolio most of the summer,” Ricky typed. “I want to get it all done before early decision applications.”
Ricky was the latest addition to the friend group. They transferred mid-sophomore year after another kid left, freeing a spot in Ocean’s graduating class. They were sitting alone at lunch on their first day, so Ocean took the initiative and told him to sit with her. Even after they insisted “they were fine” and they “preferred being alone”, and to “please stop harassing him”, Ocean convinced them to join her table, and Ricky has been hanging out with them since!
“Shoot! I need to start my applications,” Constance groaned, resting her head in her hands.
“You haven’t started?” Ocean asked, swatting at Constance's arm. “I told you to start on those over the summer!”
“Well, I didn’t know I’d be working in the cafes when I made you that promise,” she said sheepishly.
Ocean shouldn’t be worrying about Constance, especially when she put this upon herself. She huffed and refocused on the platform at the head of the hall. Their headmistress, Madam Hsu, was standing at the podium and watching the clock, waiting for it to strike six thirty. She was a slim, older woman who was recently promoted to head of school after our previous headmaster left. Ocean wondered what she had in mind for the school. She's sure whatever it is will be great.
When the bell tower outside chimed, the welcome ceremony officially began. Madam Hsu tapped her mic and cleared her throat to get our attention. “Welcome, Falcons,” her voice boomed throughout the hall. “To another year at Saint Cassian!” she said enthusiastically. Some lackluster applause filled the hall. Sometimes, it seems like Ocean is the only one glad to be back. “It is my honor to begin this school year by introducing our school chaplain, Father Marcus, and allowing him to lead us in the Lord’s prayer. So, please stand.”
Father Marcus, who was patiently waiting behind Headmistress Hsu, took the podium as the students rose to stand. He gave her a curt nod and folded his hands. “Our father,” he began.
“Who art in heaven, hallowed be thine name;” the students followed. “Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.”
Father Marcus raised his gaze. “Well done. Back to you, Headmistress.”
Headmistress Hsu resumed her position. “Thank you, Father,” she said. She unfolded her speech and rested it on the podium.
“For over a century, Saint Cassian has been the epitome of superior education, extracurricular studies, and catholic values. Influenced by our namesake, Saint Cassian of Imola, we value our students’ journey through their school years…”
Ocean found herself getting lost in the speech. It’s the same introduction every year, but Ocean can’t help but bask in the sound of Headmistress Hsu’s voice. Screw Disneyland, this is the most magical place on earth.
“Before we begin orientation and prefect induction, I would like to make a brief announcement about an emerging program here at Saint Cassian”. That piques Ocean’s attention. Maybe a new volunteer opportunity! “Starting this year, we are partnering with the International Youth in Care Education Foundation, which provides easier access to former juvenile detention kids in the foster care system to be reformed into upright and moral citizens through proper education and Christian values.”
People start whispering. Juvie kids? Where is this going?
“I am pleased to announce that we have admitted three new students into Saint Cassian through this program. They haven’t arrived quite yet, but they will be learning, attending mass and extracurriculars, and living in the dorms alongside you all.”
… What?! This is, forgive Ocean for thinking this, absolute bullcrap and incredibly unfair!
She worked her ass off to get to this school, and now they're letting delinquent orphans in for charity? She’s all for equal opportunity and reform, but admissions officers wouldn't send some broke-ass, 1.5GPA teenager to Harvard because "everyone deserves a chance to succeed". Why is it any different here?
And Ocean’s not the only one. Some kids a couple of seats down are swearing like sailors, Noel looks like he’s about ready to puke, and nobody looks particularly happy.
“I hope you all make these new students feel welcome, as well as various other new students, and our incoming freshman year!
The rest of the speech passed by in a blur, and Ocean was consumed by her thoughts. What if she ends up sharing her room with some alcoholic, drug addict, or murderer? God, why did Trishna have to leave?!
“Is that why my room is being fucked with?” Noel whispers, leaning into their table. “That’s why they over-enrolled? For soon-to-be criminals?”
Ricky shrugs. “I mean, it sucks they killed your single, but the new kids have to be nice enough to earn a place here. Give them a break, you guys.”
Noel shoots an almost offended glance at Ricky. “Well, excuse me, but Saint Cassian isn’t some reform school or troubled teens camp. Do you know how long my mom has been working to put me through here?”
“ I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I actually agree with you. This is unbelievable.” Ocean scoffed.
After a few minutes, the food is being laid out on the table. Apparently, the speech ended a while ago, but they were too wrapped up to notice. The chefs pass the large platters of meat, fish, and vegetables around the table. Ocean grabbed a serving of wild mushroom and lentil wellington and a side of roasted root vegetables, dividing her plate into even portions.
Constance serves herself a plate of roast chicken and sinks back into her chair. “I heard some kids at the other table say that two of those kids are seniors,” she said, stabbing at her dinner. “Do you think it’s true?”
Ocean swallowed her spoonful of vegetables. “I doubt it. Sophomore year has a high dropout rate; they’re probably in that grade,” Ocean assured Constance, though a part of her still worried that one of those kids would be in their dorm.
The rest of dinner continued as normal. They ate their meals, caught up, and had some dessert. Dinner was dismissed at 7:45, 30 minutes later than usual, to account for the ceremony.
Constance and Ocen strolled back to their dorms, the moon casting a glow on the pavement in front of Founder’s Hall.
“Well, again, congratulations on becoming a prefect!” Constance said cheerfully. “I know you’re going to do a great job, and…” she trailed off, falling silent as her eyes darted to something behind the building.
“And?” Ocean asked, not so subtly fishing for compliments. Constance shakes her head and grabs Ocean’s hand, pulling Ocean behind her as Constance leads her off the path and behind the hall. “Constance, what are we-”
“Shhh!” she hissed. They darted to the corner of the brick building before she pointed out a few figures in the driveway behind the school. The headmistress was standing with one of their chartered drivers in front of a school-owned van. Another woman, one whom Ocean didn’t recognize, stood with a clipboard and chatted with Madam Hsu. Behind her were three teenagers, each holding onto their luggage.
Ocean turns to whisper with Constance. “Are those…?”
Constance nods. “Looks like it.”
Ocean leans in just a bit, hoping to grab bits and pieces of their conversation. “Thank you, headmistress, for all you’re doing this year,” the woman said.
“Oh, don’t mention it!” Headmistress Hsu replied, holding out her hand for the other kids to shake. “Welcome to Saint Cassian’s. I’m Headmistress Hsu.”
Only one of the three kids shook her hand. If Ocean squinted, she could make out a short girl, maybe only a few inches taller than her, with auburn braids, clutching a doll in one hand and squeezing their Headmistress’s hand in the other. “Hello, my name is Penny Lamb, and I’m an aspiring animal conservationist!” she said, jerking Hsu’s hand around as if she’d never learned how.
Headmistress Hsu chuckled nervously and pulled her hand out of Penny’s grip. “Well then, I’m sure you’d be well-suited for our Environmental Science & Stewardship course! I’ll make sure there’s a spot for you in our senior class.”
“That’s the science class I’m taking!” Constance whispered harshly.
Ocean patted her shoulder. “I’ll help you transfer out of it. Maybe you can take Advanced Chemistry with me instead!”
Still, this confirmed Ocean’s worst fear. She’s a senior, too. How many classes does Ocean have to share with her? How many meals does Ocean have to sit next to her in?
“I suck at chemistry though…” she mumbled.
Headmistress Hsu turned to the other two kids who were standing behind Penny. “And who might you two boys be? What classes would you be interested in taking here at Saint Cassian?”
Penny grabbed the shorter of the two boys and pushed him forward, still grinning like a maniac. “This is my brother Ezra!” she introduced. Ezra had the same reddish-brown hair, though his was a mess of curls. He stood stiffly beside his sister, cleaning his glasses with the velvet cape he was wearing. “He doesn’t talk much. He’s a junior and craaazy smart for a fourteen-year-old, but he’s a bit of a nutjob.”
“That makes two of them,” Ocean mutters. Constance giggled.
“Right, Ezra,” Hsu said uncomfortably. “We’ll work with you on your class schedule to ensure you're properly challenged here”. She grabbed his hand from his side and quickly shook it before turning to the final boy. He was much taller than the other two and at least six feet tall. God knows he towered over Headmistress Hsu, even while hunched down over his cellphone. He was fairly muscular with messy brown hair and a strong grimace on his face. He’s the exact kid Ocean pictured when she thought of someone who’s been in juvie.
“And what about you, Misha? What are you into?” she asked, holding out her hand for him to shake.
Misha glanced up from his phone for a brief moment to scan her face before looking back down. He said something Ocean couldn’t make out from this distance, but whatever it was made Penny break down in giggles.
“What did he say?” Ocean asked Constance, who was holding back her own laughter. She had better hearing than Ocean.
“I don’t think I can *snort* say it!” she said, covering her mouth before hiccupping loudly.
“Quiet!” Ocean whispered, swatting her arm. Ocean looks up to check if anyone caught them laughing, only to be met with Ezra Lamb’s piercing gaze. Her breath hitches into a gasp, and she yanks Constance away from their view, pulling her along with her as Ocean scampered away. Constance, seemingly not understanding the gravity of the situation, kept giggling like a schoolgirl while Ocean dragged her by the arm back onto the main path.
Once they were a considerable distance away, Ocean dropped her arm and turned to face her. “Constance! What the hell was that?” she asked sternly.
“I’m sorry, it was a funny joke!” she said, her laughter beginning to fade.
“We could’ve gotten caught!” Ocean scolded. “God, we shouldn’t have even been back there in the first place. You know I have a status to maintain as a prefect.”
“Well, now we know who the new students are. That’s a plus, right?”
They kept walking toward the dorms, Ocean grumbling about the consequences they could face if their headmaster found out they were sneaking around. Still, she’s glad she figured out who those kids were. Now she knew who to avoid sitting next to in class: Penny Lamb and Misha whatever-his-last-name-was.
One of her duties as a prefect is taking roll before breakfast and after dinner, something she’d been looking forward to for the longest time. She stood at the head of the fireplace, looking over her roster and calling out names. She’s down to the 200s, the second and final floor of their dorm. Her floor.
“Room 203. Grace Moran, Marlowe Carlson, and Reese Winnie?”
A chorus of “here”s answers from the back of the room. “Good. Head back to your rooms and get ready for bed once dismissed.” Ocean ordered. “Room 202, Angela An, Cassidy Mace, and Ariana Dudley?”
“All present.”
“You may also go once dismissed. Room 201. Ocean O’Connell Rosenberg, Constance Blackwood, and…”
Penelope Lamb.
…
What the hell?!