Archive of Our Own

Chan had a confession, one that really wouldn't shock anyone around him but he pretends like it would. He didn't like regressing.

Not that he hated littles or anything of the sort as some presume when they find out, he just didn't like doing what nature assigned him to do. He has so many other things to do, playing house and acting like a baby was not on the top of his priorities.

But it needed to be.

He wanted to work, go to interviews, go to any event that they were hosting for Stays. He didn't want to be like Seungmin who has to call off because he's regressed too young to go, which just means one of the members has to call off too to watch him. He didn't want to be like Jisung who has to have a bodyguard-babysitter when he regresses because he tends to run off stage to try and greet every fan there. Chan just wants to be… Chan. The strong, tough leader everyone knows him as.

But it wasn't a secret to the public that he was a little.

When his classification was revealed, many people speculated he was probably in his teens or something so he could try and 'relive them'. When it was revealed once again that he was very… very young, there was many mixed reactions.

He saw comments from Stays who were happy because they were that young and loved the representation. There was also comments demanding JYP to have him replaced as the leader of Stray Kids.

So yes, very mixed reactions.

No one in the group made him question if he should stay in his position as leader, they were all ecstatic when he classified. It was his own brain that made him wonder if it would just be better if he did leave.

It felt like so many problems arose since he was classified, but the more he looked into them, the more he realized it was the same issue.

It was himself- rather it was him avoiding regressing. He knew he'd regress no matter what, but it didn't stop him from trying and failing each time. He'd slip alone in his room, his hotel room, even backstage once, and it was always left up to his members to pick up the pieces.

If he stopped holding back, if he just let himself slip like all the other littles in the group… maybe there wouldn't be anymore problems.

But how does one just regress? He never has before…

"AHHH" A familiar cry echos out through the hall from what Chan can only presume to be the kitchen by the sound of utensils falling.

Jisung regresses quite a bit.

Yes… he could help him.

He groans and forces himself out of his bed, dragging his feet behind him as he walks to the kitchen. Jisung is sitting at the dining table, a bowl in front of him as he scrolls on his phone. He brings the spoon to his mouth just as he looks up to see Chan in the doorway.

"Hyung! You're up early, didn't you go to bed late last night?"

Chan shakes his head and takes a seat in the chair in front of him, "No, I actually tried to sleep last night."

"Uh huh, but what time did you actually fall sleep?"

"…Okay so what are you doing today?"

Jisung giggles and takes a spoonful of the colorful cereal in his bowl, "Nothing so far, why?"

Chan looks down at his lap, tugging at the fabric of his pajama pants, "So… I was wondering if you could.. help me."

All he gets is a confused puppy look, which just made him play with his pants more, they were way more interesting anyway. He could just go research it himself, he didn't have to ask Jisung. It's not like he was a little genius… but did he really want to rely on the internet?

"How do you regress?"

"How do I regress?"

He nods, making Jisung hum as he eats another spoonful of cereal, "Uhhhhh- I dunno. Why?"

Chan tugs at his pants more, digging his nails into the fabric, "I um… I want to try.. regressing. Like you know, on my own."

The spoon in Jisung's hand drops, ringing against the glass bowl.

Jisung gasps, his smile going from ear to ear,"You came to the right person, hyung! Oh my goshhh, I get to help you regress! I need my things- sit here!"

Jisung practically leaps out of his chair and to his room. It gives Chan just enough silence to wonder if he should (or could) back out now. Even though Chan was technically the oldest, he was the youngest out of the regressors.

Seungmin was around the age of four but could regress as young as two. When he was younger in his regression, all he needed was his tablet and his daengmo at his side. When he was older, he did was everything he wasn't supposed to do, unless Changbin was in the room. For some reason, little Seungmin loved to impress Bin as if he didn't love to annoy him when he wasn't regressed.

Jisung usually stayed around the six range and he loved to ask 'why?'. One of his favorite past times is making sure to ask 'why is the sky blue?' or 'why can we see through windows?', which was entertaining for the first thirty seconds. Besides that, he loved babying other littles and keeping them entertained.

Changbin was the oldest when regressed, the oldest being nearly fourteen and the youngest being ten, which was a bit of a gap but always made each day a surprise. His mood often changed but they usually saw their happy boy who is eager to drag one of them outside to play, weather be damned.

Then… there was Chan. Chan didn't really know what he liked. He didn't really remember much while he was regressed, but his doctor told him it was because he usually drops instead of peacefully regressing.

Still, he figured he'd know just a tiny bit more. He did know he liked his Wolf Chan plush, which wasn't really a surprise to him.

Sometimes he asks the others, but none of them have a real answer to give him. He hated the sad looks on their faces when they mumble something along the lines of "you just sort of… sleep."

Felix at least seemed more joyful about it, since apparently Chan usually stays with him the most, "You are just so cute! You lay your head on my chest and get so grumpy if I move even a little bit- you also scrunch your nose a lot. It's so cute."

That didn't sound… awful.

He definitely didn't need it to live but it didn't sound horrible.

Giggles takes him out of the depths of his mind and back to the giggling Jisung running into the room with two bags full of stuff in his hands, "Come! Come! We'll go into the living room!"

The sigh that leaves him was unintentional, he truly was happy Jisung was helping him. That's why instead of calling everything off and going back to his room to mope, he follows behind.

There was only two things that truly stopped him from trying this by himself.

Number one: It would be incredibly stupid and reckless to, since he's almost a newborn and newborns to no ones surprise, don't do well by themselves.

Number two: He had no actual idea where to start.

But now he had a new obstacle, he was scared of disappointing Jisung. What if he's too broken and can't regress normally now?

Jisung is going to try his hardest and Chan will just be Chan, nothing will matter.

Just thinking about it started making his stomach hurt.

"Sit here!" Jisung points to one of the bean bag chairs they had in the small play pen area in the living room. It was mainly so the caregivers could put them somewhere without fear of them doing something super dangerous like leaving the house and running out into the road.

He plops down on the bean bag, a small 'oof' comes out of him, he forgot how hard the bags were. Jisung sits in front of him with his two bags side by side.

Just the thought of regressing, Jisung had regressed… Chan didn't understand how he did that.

Jisung grabs the bag to his left, pulling out an all too familiar Wolf plush.

"We have to have him! That's step one!"

The plushie is shoved into his arms.

"Next step..." Jisung searches through the bag until he pulls out a lilac pacifier, which he immediately tries to shove into Chan's mouth.

Chan moves back quickly into the bean bag and shakes his head, "No- I don't think I need that."

"Who is the expert here! Me or you?"

Neither of them, clearly.

The pacifier's nub is pushed against his lips. He whines and slowly open his mouth, Jisung pushing it in quickly before Chan could try to reject it again.

The rubber felt… weird. It was heavy on his tongue and didn't feel horrible to chew on, but just having it in his mouth felt different.

His cheeks were hot, he knew he shouldn't be embarrassed, he's had one before… he just doesn't remember it.

Jisung starts rummaging through the bag again, "You usually don't play a lot so some of my toys are probably boring. But I did bring this!"

He pulls out a small plastic piano, which immediately starts to play music from Jisung's finger accidently hitting the keys.

"Minho bought you this forever ago but you haven't really had the time to play it. You can play it now though! It's super easy."

Jisung sits it in front of him and presses down on the keys, each one making a different sound.. it was childish.

Duh it was childish, it was a kids toy.

"Get it? Just here-" Jisung grabs Chan's hands, placing them down on the piano, "See! They clickkk, then you move your fingers around."

He shows the very aware Chan this by dancing Chan's fingers around the keyboard, "See?"

He finally let's go and Chan decides to humor him, pressing down on a few of the keys. It wasn't a horrible sound, but it wasn't a piano.

Chan nods his head which was enough to please the little, letting him move on to the next toy, "This is a uh.. a cube!"

The toy in Jisung's hand is like some sort of activity cube, one that's supposed to work the mind of the little playing with it. But in Chan's personal opinion, it looked really stupid. How was spinning blocks, buttons that made noises, and beads he can move around helpful for his mind.

He takes the pacifier out of his mouth, much to Jisung's dismay, "'Sung.. I don't think this is gonna help."

"Why not?"

Chan grabs the cube and shakes it, making it jingle and chime, "It's just.. I don't know."

He drops the cub onto the ground and gently places the Wolf Chan in his arms beside it. He stands up, nervously laughing as he fidgets with his sleeve, "This was fun, Sung, but I just don't think this is going to work."

Jisung whines, following him along, "Why? Something happen? We have more toys right here! These are dumb toys anyway."

Jisung just didn't get it. He regressed at the mere thought of it but Chan couldn't do that, he just couldn't! He was excited to show off these toys for Chan to play with but Chan felt nothing for them.

"This just isn't for me-"

Jisung holds up the pacifier that he left on the bean bag, "This is for you though? Minho hyung bought it for you when he took me to the store once! I got to pick it out and everything!"

Wait, they bought it specifically for him? He just figured he got one of the spare pacifiers they kept in case they lost Seungmin's.

He shakes his head because that wasn't the point he was trying to make, "No, Jisung, what I mean is regressing isn't for me."

Jisung tilts his head, his eyes narrow as he stares at Chan.

"Mmmm.. no."

"No?"

Both his hands are suddenly held onto and tugged by Jisung, pulling him over to the couch and forced to sit on it, "I go get more things! Baby stays here and watches TV."

"What?" He tries to stand back up but Jisung sits him back down, this time with a pat on his head.

Jisung grabs the remote, struggling a tad with the buttons but gets it to some cartoon he doesn't remember ever seeing.

The pacifier is forced back into his mouth without any warning and Wolf Chan is plopped right back into his arms, "Be right back!"

He's left alone with the TV on a low volume, he doubts Jisung even realized it.

God, he was so stupid to involve Jisung in this. It was inevitable that Jisung will eventually see he's a lost cause and give up. The idea of that hurt more than he'd like to admit, being given up on.

He felt nothing though towards this stuff. Nothing towards the colorful cartoon in front of him and nothing towards the soft squeezable plush in his arms.

But he had nothing better to do… so he might as well watch.

_-_-_

Jisung was struggling.

Channie hyung needed him and he was slacking! Channie was a baby, that means he needs baby toys, not stupid difficult toys.

But Chan didn't have any toys since he hardly regressed, they didn't know quite what he liked. All regressed Channie did was cry and there wasn't a toy for that.

Some coloring pages, a few small toys that jingled, and a small container of building blocks seemed okay to try. Was he going to get in trouble from the mess he was making in the living room with all the toys? Probably, but it's for a good cause!

He was the one that found Seungmin when he regressed for the first time and took care of him for hourssss by himself! Channie was just a tad younger than him, how hard could it be to help him?

Not hard at all!!

All he needed to do was find Chan's.. thing. Jisung liked coloring or playing with his dinosaurs, but he didn't think Chan would be the same.

With everything clutched to his chest, he slowly walks back to the living room, trying not to drop anything. Chan was still on the couch, staring at the TV with what Jisung hopes to be interest.

"Channie!"

"Mmm?"

Jisung stands in front of him and drops the toys onto the carpet under him, "I got more things!!"

Chan scoots forward, pushing his butt off the couch and plopping himself onto the carpet under it. Wolf Chan was still held tight in his arms and his pacifier was still held in his mouth.

Good!

Since he just dropped everything, he does have the courtesy of fixing it all so it was easier for Chan to grab.

He holds up the coloring book first, "This is Seungmin's favorite, but I don't think he'll mind if you color in it." he sits it back down and picks up one of the small toys that jingled, "I think this is one your mom sent whenever you got classified. It jingles! See?"

He shakes it to show said noise. Chan doesn't look that interested but he still watches Jisung try to entertain him. He gives up, sitting the toy back down.

"How about coloring? We can do that while watching TV!"

He doesn't wait for Chan to agree, he starts getting everything prepared until the both of them are on their stomachs with coloring books and crayons in front of them.

Jisung grabs a blue, immediately going in on coloring in a dinosaur on his page, "Remember Channie.. crayons and markers are for paper! So only use it on this."

"Mmmhm!"

See! He was great at this!

He hummed to a little tune in his head, Chan following him in humming as well. He didn't notice when Chan stopped humming alongside him, nor did he notice when Chan stopped coloring.

"How's yours going, Chann- Chan!"

Chan had his own crayon halfway in his mouth, drooling on it more than chewing.

Jisung quickly reaches over, snatching the purple crayon before Chan drooled on it anymore. Chan whines and follows his hand to try and grab it back, "Mineee.."

He grimaces at the grossness in his hand, dropping it on the carpet under them and wiping away the spit. Seungmin was going to be so grumpy, these were his crayons.

"Bad Channie, you have a paci for a reason!"

He grabs the fallen pacifier and pushes it into Chan's mouth before he could whine any longer, "That stays there. No droppin' it!"

Chan scrunches his nose but doesn't argue. The pacifier starts to bob in his mouth so he didn't seem too annoyed with the swap.

"Are you feeling anything? Feel small?"

His eyebrows furrow, obviously confused with Jisung's question but shakes his head.

"Really? Ugh."

This was a lot of work!

He uses his knees to help himself stand up, "Let's… do blocks!"

It's takes some amount of agility that he never knew he had to step over all the stuff in the now messy living room.

The blocks were in a clear cylinder case, consisting of pink, blue, yellow, and red. Changbin often played with him, helping him make huge towers just so Jisung could knock it down. Jisung doesn't think Changbin has as much fun as he does but he plays with him regardless.

Changbin should be coming home soon… he was really smart, he could help!

Jisung couldn't call him to come home earlier because he didn't know how to use the phone, which is why all littles were supposed to have an adult with them just in case they regress! Chan was his adult- well kind of?

Hm.

It's probably fine!

"Look, Channie!" he jumps back over most of the stuff, plopping himself down in his spot in front of Chan once again, "Blocks! They're soft because Seungmin kept throwing our old ones so this should help you regress, they are for babies!"

Chan nods at his words, he doesn't really stop nodding but Jisung will take that as him being enthusiastic.

He unzips the bag and for a second, he thinks about only taking out like ten blocks or so so he doesn't make a mess… then he flips the bag over completely, letting the blocks fall on the space between them.

Chan squeals, his eyes big as he grabs one of the blocks, "Ooo.."

"Yeah!" He grabs a few, quickly stacking a tower together before knocking it over, "Like this! See?"

But Chan doesn't copy him, he instead grabs another block, "Ooooo.."

So Jisung copies him, grabbing two blocks as well, "This is fun too, you can do a lot with them… like making a tower!"

He makes another tower, "Look, Channie, now we knock it over. Wanna do it?"

Chan doesn't move so Jisung gently grabs his hand and knocks it against the tower, letting it fall over.

"Ah!" Chan's eyes look even bigger as he drops the blocks in his hands, grabbing the blocks that fell, "Fix?"

Jisung tilts his head, fix what? That's the point of the game-

"Ohh.." he grabs a few of the blocks, "Make the tower again? I can do that!"

He quickly stacks them back together, grabbing more blocks to make it slightly bigger, "Here!"

Chan just stares at the tower in amazement, so Jisung just lets him enjoy whatever he's enjoying.

"So… feeling anything now?"

Chan had to be feeling something now! Blocks were awesome! Of course, they were more fun with someone else making the tower while he held his dinosaurs so he could destroy it, but Chan didn't seem too picky on his games considering he didn't know what he liked.

But instead of Chan nodding and thanking him for being such a big help, he shakes his head and giggles! There is nothing funny-

Both of their stomachs gurgle at the same time, stopping him from any internal rant he was about to have.

They haven't ate… it was lunch time now and neither of them have ate. Jisung never finished his cereal this morning and he doesn't remember seeing Chan eat before they started this mission.

He stands up, stumbling a bit trying to get steady on his feet after sitting for so long, "I'll go make us lunch!"

He has to tiptoe over some of the toys to get even close to the kitchen, but he doesn't get far when Chan starts to whimper.

Chan's pacifier drops from his mouth, his arms up as he whines loudly, "Up?"

"Oh yeah." He quickly steps back, putting his hands under Chan's arms and slowly pulls him up.

The image is exactly as expected, Jisung was more dragging Chan than holding him but it was efficient since Chan's feet was used to push away any toys in their path all the way until they made it to the kitchen.

Jisung uses his foot to pull out a chair, plopping Chan down in it, "Sit here! I'll be right back!"

Surprisingly, Chan doesn't move! Jisung is able to quickly put together two ham and cheese sandwiches, even using the type of cheese Chan likes because he remembered.

He presents it on a paper plate in front of Chan, since there were child locks on the cabinets with actual plates so no one tried to grab one and hurt themselves. Jisung hasn't figured out how to open them, but he'll figure it out one day.

He sits in the chair beside Chan, grabbing half of his sandwich, "I cut them up so it's easy to eat, but I had to use my hands so it's uneven. Hope you don't mind, hyung."

Chan just stares at the plate, drool pooling in the corners of his mouth. Jisung grabs Chan's piece and puts it up to his open mouth, trying to get him to take a bite, but the piece just falls from his mouth.

"C'mon Channie…" he tries again, but this time Chan leans backwards, away from the food being fed to him.

Chan shakes his head, bringing his fingers up to his mouth with a small whine. He was obviously hungry, Jisung knew he was starving so Chan had to be hungry.

"But that's all I know how to fix.."

Jisung didn't know what to do, his hyung was hungry and he was supposed to be helping him! He takes small bites of his own sandwich, trying to brainstorm something he could find for Chan to eat when he hears it…

The lock on the front door moving, keys turning it to unlock. The door opens with someone huffing behind it, "Hyung! There's a package out here for you!"

Changbin!

Changbin could help him! He knows how to cook a bunch of things!

"Binnie hyung! Come here!!"

He hears Changbin enter the living room, "Jesus- 'Sung! You need to clean up your mess, why do you have like all your toys in here?"

"Come heree!"

Changbin mumbles to himself, picking up some of the things in the room along his way, dropping them off at the toy box in the living room that Jisung conveniently forgot they had.

He walks over to the counter first, dropping off a package and mail for the others to get, "Okay, now what-"

He stops when he turns to stare at the two of them, mainly staring directly at Chan, "Um."

"Hyung! Channie's hungry but he won't eat his sandwich, I dunno what to do."

Changbin walks over to them and crouches down in front of Chan to inspect him, "Jisung, how long has Chan been regressed for?"

Jisung rolls his eyes, "He's nottt, silly. We've been trying to get him to regress all morning but nothings working! He's difficult to work with."

Changbin couldn't help but laugh at that as he picks Chan up, "Sung, he's regressed, like fully. How did you not notice?"

"I asked! Multiple times! He shook his head no each time- like this!" He shakes his head to demonstrate just in case Changbin was confused.

He must be confused because Channie hyung is not a liar, he'd never lie to him.

But Changbin just looks at him like was crazy, "He's drooling over himself."

"That happens!"

"And he's wet."

"That- oh."

Now that he looks closer, he sees the small wet patch on Chan's pajama bottoms… oops.

Changbin smiles at him and kisses him on the top of the head, "I'll go change him and call Min to give him a heads up. You finish eating, okay?"

"Okay..." He mumbles and grabs his sandwich, watching Changbin take Chan away.

Jisung felt kind of silly now.

Sure, there were some signs, but he didn't want to assume. He didn't like jumping to conclusions without all the evidence.

He didn't know Channie was little, he was more inexperienced than he thought. He took care of Seungmin before, but Chan was a baby! Babies are a lot of work… good thing he doesn't have to take care of them!

Another win for Sung.

His sandwich was good though, he's a pretty good chef. Maybe he can help Min cook dinner tonight, he's a great helper.

And if he's really good, he can probably convince him to make dessert for everyone.

Mm…

"Sung?"

Changbin's voice snaps him out of his future plans, "Hm?"

"Did you not hear me?" Changbin walks over beside him, sitting in the chair that Chan was not sitting in before, "What was going on today that caused all of this?"

He takes the last bite of his sandwich, his feet sliding back and forth on the floor under his chair. His socks had small cartoon lizards on them, Innie got them for him after he put holes in his last pair.

"Mm.." his socks were way more interesting than talking but he didn't really like ignoring people, it wasn't very nice, "Channie wanted to regress this mornin', asked for help. I'm an expert so I said I could."

Changbin tries to muffle his laugh even though Jisung clearly hears it, "You are quite the expert, aren't you? That's nice of you to try and help him."

But he wasn't that much of an expert, was he? He didn't realize Chan was regressed, maybe in the back of his mind he didn't think anything he did would've actually helped. Channie was so small, what if something bad happened?

"Didn't know he was small though…"

"That's true.." Changbin puts his hands under Jisung's arms and gently lifts him onto his lap, "But you took very good care of him. I've never seen little Channie like this, he's just so happy."

That was also true, Channie was always crying when he was small. Jeongin told him it was because Chan repressed being little a tad too much, he drops and doesn't feel good, like he was sick with a tummy ache.

Jisung figured it was just because babies cry a lot but he would too if he had a tummy ache so he had no room to judge, "Is he okay?"

Changbin starts bouncing his thigh, making him whine because he always liked acting like he didn't like it, "He's okay, but I did promise him one thing that I need your help with to keep him happy."

He gasps, "What is it?"

"I told him you'll join him for nap time."

What.

No, he never agreed to such a thing. He HATED nap time, he wasn't a baby like Channie or Minnie, he did not need naps!

He tries to squirm off Changbin's lap but the older wraps his arms around his waist, "Come on, Sungie… Channie is in there waiting to eat and I know cuddles from his favorite buddy would help him. You just have to stay in there until he falls asleep… while you're in there, I can clean up your mess?"

"Really?"

"Mhm, I'll clean it all up."

"..And I'm his favorite?"

"Of course."

To be clear, Jisung still hates naps, but he couldn't say no to Chan and disappoint him as his FAVORITE friend.

So he cleans up the table while Changbin makes Chan's bottle, which was easy since it was two paper plates and a bowl of extremely soggy cereal. Then he follows behind him to Jisung's room, where Chan laid in the middle of the bed with the safety rails up.

"You both can nap in my room if you'd like-"

"No!" He gets on the bed and carefully climbs over the smiling but sleepy Channie, "My room is way cooler, he wants to sleep in here. Right, Channie?"

Chan doesn't say anything, but he does look at Jisung so that was practically a yes.

Changbin tucks them in tightly, making sure Chan is secure and won't somehow flop over the rails. Wolf Chan and HanQuokka are shoved in beside them, "Comfy?"

"Mhmm.." he squirms down so the sheets are just under his chin before flipping over so he was on his side, quickly undoing the progress Changbin just did.

His curtains are closed and his nightlight is turned on. It wasn't really dark or anything but Jisung liked it being on, not because he was scared of the dark or anything. The stars were just pretty.

Changbin lowers the first rail, sitting on the bed beside Chan so he can swap out the pacifier with the bottle.

Chan seems really happy with his new meal, Jisung can hear the loud suckling sounds from his lips as he drinks.

That's another thing Jisung could not understand, always drinking milk sounded awfullll. He couldn't imagine not having like pizza.. or chicken… or anything that wasn't a liquid consistency.

He's happy he doesn't have to clean up all those toys, cleaning up is so boring.

It was worse than nap time, Minho and Hyunjin were always so strict on him having a nap time because he 'gets grumpy'.

That was just a bunch of lies, he was not grumpy.

But… he couldn't deny how heavy his eyelids felt. The sound of Chan drinking beside him at such a soothing rhythm seemed to help. He wasn't tired, he was just helping Chan nap, big difference.

He wraps his arm around Chan, bringing him tighter as he lays his head on his shoulder. Chan didn't seem to mind him being so close and nearly on top of him.

"I hope-" he yawns loudly, "I hope we play more later… still got lots of games to show you…"

Chan makes a small 'mmm' sound. That was probably a yes, they will play more later.

A hand lays on his back, rubbing small circles in the center of it.

"Maybe…" another yawn.

"Maybe we could go to the toy store… Lix may take us…."

His eyes were fully shut now, "…and.. can.. get you toys.."

The rest of whatever he had to say was left unknown to the little beside him.