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After assembling a couple of chairs around a low table in her play area, Sofi began to set out some utensils and the kinds of containers humans liked to drink hot liquids out of. This kind of set up was something she did almost every day. What made today different, was she wanted me to sit in one of the chairs.
“SecUnits don’t consume liquids,” I reminded her.
“You are so bad at this," she replied, setting down a large ceramic pot with a spout in the center of the table.
Which, rude. I didn’t even know what this was.
“Okay, so you’re Princess… um.” She tapped her mouth thoughtlessly. “You’re Princess Sparkle Hug.” She sent a collection of sparkle and hug sigils over the feed and I dutifully changed my feed name to reflect the new designation.
“Do I name you now?”
“Mmm, not usually but you can today, if you want.”
Right, a name for Sofi. “Your name is Princess Liah.”
“That’s the princess in Honor Princess Detective!”
Okay, she caught me. “But don’t you want to be as brave and adventurous and honorable as Princess Liah?” (Please say yes.)
“Well… I do…” Sofi looked down, then up, and wiggled in her seat. “But I want to be my own princess too!”
Fine. "Princess Teacup."
Sofi paused to glare at the cup she had just placed on the table. I think I was supposed to be the cup. "You're not very good at names." Okay, rude. It was thematically relevant. "But that's okay. We're allowed to be bad at things."
Wow. Considering she was the one setting up something she called a ‘tea party’, but without any tea, I don't think I was the one who was bad at things. For her final touches, Sofi was dishing out toys meant to resemble a dairy and sugary food, except their cartoon faces and large rounded eyes suggested that they were delighted by their lot in life.
Sat primly in her seat now, Sofi—redesignated Princess Teacup—declared, "Welcome to my tea party, Princess Sparkle Hug. I hope my castle is to your liking. Please take a seat."
I looked at Princess Teacup, then at the seat. It was... small. Made for small humans like Sofi and not SecUnits. But she was looking at me patiently and sent me some sigils of chairs over the feed.
I sighed. Externally for her benefit (getting pretty good at those).
I stood over the chair and lowered myself carefully. My rotaries had to work very hard, and I listened carefully for any breaking noises, but the small chair was unexpectedly sturdy and I didn't need to lock my joints and pretend that I was sitting. I could actually sit.
That accomplished, Sofi began to monologue all about the imaginary castle she lived in. At the same time, she was using the pot with the spout to pretend to pour liquid into both of our cups. I was running a search in all my media for tea party etiquette, and only sort-of paying attention. She didn’t seem to mind that I contributed about as much to the conversation as her silent, smiling toys.
After 22.7 minutes of this, Farai popped her head into the room to check on Sofi and did a double-take when she saw me crouched down in one of the tiny chairs. Checking the feed, she cocked an eyebrow and said, “Princess Sparkle Hug, huh?”
At the sound of Farai's voice, Sofi's attention mercifully shifted.
"First mom!" Sofi greeted her cheerfully, showering Farai with heart and sparkle sigils.
Sofi began to regale Farai with the plotline of our play-pretend at 68% accuracy and several deviations that had significant narrative impact. Farai parroted Sofi's words back to her, both correcting Sofi's occasional wrong phrasing and also controlling the pace of her monologue, so that when Farai asked, "Little Princess Teacup, do you know what time it is?" Sofi didn't even notice the interruption.
I responded for her. "It is 1.12 hours past the start of the night cycle. Princess Teacup would not know this, as Captain Clock's power cell died, and she turned her feed timer off since princess parties have no time limit."
Captain Clock was face-down on the table. It had needed spontaneous emergency surgery during the middle of our tea party, at which time Sofi performed incredibly dubious mechanical repairs. I updated my medical files to specifically bar Sofi from ever providing mechanical care to myself in a surgery situation.
Farai made an acknowledgement noise. As someone who understood the gravity with which a princess’s tea party needed to be treated, Farai knew to cover her mouth and look away to the side when her lips threatened to twitch up in a smile. However subtle she tried to be though, she could not hide it from my drone which had settled into a gentle hover just over her shoulder.
She turned to it with a knowing look instead of facing me directly—which I tried not to seem too obviously grateful for. Sofi might not be, but I was keenly aware of what it looked like for a child to be seated at a table with a rogue SecUnit. I knew what an incongruous sight we made right now. Under Farai's scrutiny, the tiny teacup in my hands felt too delicate for the rest of me. My hands were not meant to hold them, and I waited for her to point that out.
Still hiding her smile and in an undertone so Sofi wouldn't hear, she said, "And I hope both Princess Teacup and Princess Sparkle Hug are having a good time at the tea party? Captain Clock's dire medical condition notwithstanding."
I had to assume Sofi was having fun, or she wouldn't have kept the princess party going. Unless she was sick of it, and kept playing in order to continuously correct me on princess party etiquette. Was that something I was supposed to look out for? (Why are princess parties so complicated?) I sent Farai an ambiguously positive amusement sigil through the feed.
I don't know if my face had done something stupid or if Sofi was just using me as an excuse, but she suddenly declared, "I think Princess Sparkle Hug is ready to retire for the evening."
"I am?" Me?
"Yes," she confirmed in her Princess Teaching Voice. "Learning how to be a princess is hard work."
While Farai tried to corral Sofi off to bed, Mensah arrived less than a minute later, almost derailing the entire process while she kissed Farai on the cheek.
"Second mom, we played princess tea party," Sofi exclaimed, her eyes drooping with the need to sleep even as she pretended they weren't. "SecUnit isn't very good at it."
I pretended not to notice Farai trying not to make an expression, but Mensah saw. She checked the feed, schooled her face into something neutral and replied, "I'm sure Princess Sparkle Hug did its best. In the meantime, it's time for Princess Teacup to take off her crown for the night."
As they led Sofi off toward her bedroom, Mensah sent me a feed message that said, Thank you, SecUnit.
I sent her a sparkly hug sigil as an acknowledgment, and switched my feed name back.
