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Johnny was eight, he thinks, when he first thought about what he wanted his future to look like.
Or, maybe, that was just the first time he’d thought of a future that excited him– a future that he was in control of.
He was at the park, like usual.
He remembers going to the park a lot at that age.
Johnny would run around and get his seemingly endless energy out while Sue sat at a nearby picnic bench to get her homework done.
That particular day though, things were rough.
Days like that, it seemed that every bad feeling was an anchor tied around his heart, trying to drown him.
So he went up.
He climbed to the top of the play structure, balancing his sneakers on the metal bars as he pulled himself up over the plastic.
He’d made sure Sue wasn’t watching too close this time. It wouldn’t be the first time he got in trouble for climbing somewhere “dangerous” but he wasn’t taking his chances. Sue didn’t realize just how good he was at not falling. He’d only broken one bone in his life which he’d figured was pretty good for 8 whole years.
Once situated, knees tucked close to his chest, Johnny watched the world go on around him. Other kids were running around with their friends, weaving between the swings, playing tag, but not Johnny.
Johnny stared at the afternoon sky, and ran his tongue beneath a loose tooth.
It’s not that Johnny didn’t have friends, but they didn’t get invited to his house, and he didn’t go to theirs.
He didn’t know what to do when someone told him to ask his mom. So he just didn’t ask anyone.
Sure, he could ask Sue, or Aunt Marygay, but neither of those were his mom.
Johnny’s mom was dead.
And he hated being reminded of that.
He hated the fact that every day he forgot a little more what his mom looked like. He couldn’t remember what her laugh sounded like or the words to the lullaby she used to sing him.
So on days like this, when Johnny was missing her so much he couldn’t stand it, he would climb as high as he could. Johnny liked people, and he loved to talk, but he also loved this: sitting by himself, and staring at the sky.
Only, on this particular day, his solitude was interrupted.
The plastic structure shook and Johnny steadied himself, turning around to see another girl, about his age. She had big brown eyes and mousy hair, and stared at him in surprise when she saw him.
“Sorry!” She squeaked out. “I didn’t know anyone else was up here.”
She started to climb down, but something in Johnny’s brain made him reach out and stop her.
“You can stay.” He said, secretly pleading.
“Oh kay.”
The two sat there in silence for a little bit. It wasn’t bad.
Johnny noticed the girl’s sneakers were old. They had holes in the side of the canvas where he could see the striped socks she wore underneath.
Her knees were scraped up and her legs were bruised, not unlike Johnny’s own.
She wore blue and green plaid shorts (that Johnny thought were super cool) and she was wearing a Captain America t-shirt.
“Hey,” Johnny finally spoke. “Do you wanna play superheroes?”
The girl’s eyes lit up and when she smiled, Johnny noticed she was missing a few teeth, as if they’d just recently fallen out.
Cute, Johnny thought. And promptly tried to ignore that thought.
“Really?”
“Yeah! What powers are you gonna have?”
“Climbing!” She said right away which made Johnny tilt his head.
“That’s not a super power.”
“Is too!” She pouted. “I can climb the monkey bars super fast! And I climbed up here!”
“Okay,” Johnny acceded, not wanting to lose his new friend. “I want to fly.”
“What’s your super hero name?”
“Mmm… Flygirl?” Johnny suggested.
The girl stuck out her tongue in a raspberry and thumbsed down.
“You need to be more creative.” She admonished. “I’m gonna be Spider-Boy ‘coz spiders can climb walls.”
“But you’re not a boy!” Johnny argued again.
“Well I don’t wanna play a girl superhero, I wanna play a boy superhero.” The girl crossed her arms and pouted.
Johnny didn’t know that was an option.
“Can I be a boy superhero too?” He asked, voice full of wonder.
“Sure!”
“Okay my name is gonna be Pilot. ‘Coz pilots fly.”
“Ooh that’s good! Wait, what’s your secret identity name?”
“Uhh… I don’t know, what’s yours?”
“Peter.” She said immediately.
“Okay, Peter.”
He smiled when Johnny said his name.
“I’m Johnny.”
Johnny had asked his mom one time, what his parents would have named him if he was a boy and she’d responded with Jonathan. He’d turned his nose up at the time, but after days of mulling it over, Johnny didn’t seem like a half bad nickname.
Johnny and Peter spent the rest of the afternoon inseparable. Running around saving the citizens of New York and fighting invisible villains.
Peter was very fast on the monkey bars, Johnny had to admit.
Johnny was having the most fun he’d had in months.
He should’ve known it couldn’t last.
He was standing at the top of the slide before it happened. The evening sun hit his skin, making him feel golden.
He felt on fire.
He jumped from the ledge, believing he could fly.
And then the pain in his ankle hit.
He wailed out, but tried to will his tears to stay in.
Peter ran over immediately and moved Johnny to sit back.
“You’re okay, you’re okay.” He whispered, his hands gripping Johnny’s shoulders.
Sue was running over before Johnny knew it.
“What happened?”
“He– She jumped from the top of the slide.” Peter answered for him.
Sue groaned in frustration. Johnny was too young to hear the concern in it.
“Why would you do that!?” She questioned.
Johnny felt dumb.
He couldn’t tell Sue the real reason. That he genuinely thought he’d be able to fly if he believed hard enough. He couldn’t tell her that for that afternoon, he’d finally felt like a real person, not just a ghost watching his life happen without him. So Johnny shrugged and turned away.
He’d wanted nothing more in that moment than to go back to living in that make-believe world. He could have lived in a world that was just him and Peter for the rest of his life.
Then he felt the weight of reality bare down all on one twisted ankle.
Sue still questioned him by a name that didn’t fit.
His hair was still pulled back in two stupid pigtails.
And his mom was still gone.
He couldn’t stop the tears.
“I want mom.” He choked out.
Sue said his name, voice shaky.
“Me too,” She whispered, now sitting on the squishy playground floor next to him. “But y-you know we can’t-t-t. There’s nothing we can do about that.”
“I can’t see my mom either.” Peter said quietly. Johnny was honestly surprised he was still there.
“Who’s your friend?” Sue asked Johnny kindly.
Before he could respond, there was a loud whistle reverberating off the playground equipment.
“I have to go!” Peter said suddenly.
He stood up and ran a few feet before turning back to the Storm siblings. Peter hesitated for only a moment before running back and pulling Johnny into a tight hug.
It was over too soon, Johnny thought. And then Peter was gone, lost to the blur of memory.
—
“You know, it’s kind of ironic I got bit by a spider.” Peter says one evening as he flops onto the sofa, feet in Johnny’s lap.
“How do you figure?” Johnny replies, his hand moving to hold onto Peter’s ankle.
“Well, when I was a kid,” he says through mouthfuls of popcorn. “I would always pretend I had spider powers– not quite the webswinging and super strength, you know– but, like, climbing things and stuff.”
“Huh,” Johnny replies. “Nerd.”
“Shut up. What about you?” Peter asks with a small kick of his foot.
“What do you mean?”
“What superpower did you want when you were a kid?”
“Flight.” Johnny says with a shrug and a smile.
“Naturally.” Peter smiles back at him, then after a moment of thought, speaks again. “The last time I remember playing superheroes, this kid I met at the park broke their leg trying to fly.”
“Peter…” Johnny looks at Peter seriously. He scans the lines of his face, trying to invoke the image of him as a kid.
Peter raises an eyebrow before recognition dawns on his face.
“That was you, wasn’t it?” A smile takes over his face.
“I didn’t break my leg for the record, it was like– hardly an ankle sprain.”
“I dunno, I remember you crying pretty hard.” Peter teases.
“My mom had just died!”
“Not that day!”
Johnny shoves Peter’s legs off his lap in retaliation, but it only causes Peter to scoot closer to him. He rests his chin on Johnny’s shoulder and snakes his arms around Johnny’s middle.
“Some web of fate, huh?”
Johnny kisses Peter’s forehead.
“I’m glad I found you again, Spider-Boy.”
I’m glad I met you then.