Chapter Text
It would have been an understatement to say that Liu Qingge felt like shit when he finally came to.
But what else could be expected after one suffered through a qi deviation?
The Peak Lord of Bai Zhan Peak – the undefeated War God – could feel where blood had dried on his skin, a familiar sensation made far more unpleasant when paired with the rest of the aches and pains that echoed throughout his body. To his surprise, however, his qi felt as though it was being soothed and subdued, coaxed into behaving by a gentle guiding hand. It was a sensation that made him want to relax, to give in to his body’s demand to rest further after such an ordeal.
That wasn't natural.
That thought prompted him to force himself to push through the haze and wake up.
With further awareness being regained, he finally noticed a song in the air. It was being played in a stringed instrument, a guqin, and must have been some form of musical cultivation based on the way his qi resonated with the melody. The music hadn’t been what had snapped him out of his qi deviation, that much was clear, but the song had certainly helped settle him so that he’d be unlikely to fall back into it.
There was something soft beneath his head, protecting it from the cold of the Ling Xi cave floor.
Distantly, though Liu Qingge understood he had suffered from qi deviation, his mind was sluggish as it tried to process the memories of the event. Slowly, he pieced together the story. There had been pain. Pain and agony unlike anything he had every suffered from before, and a wrath he had never hoped to experience again. Then there was a voice, something light and soft that called for him. It incited blood lust like nothing else. There had been a fight, a desire for death, and then a brutal strike of qi pumped through his chest.
Then nothing.
His eyes snapped open as he recalled whose face had been the last he’d seen, twisted in concern.
With a weakness that had long grown unfamiliar to him, Liu Qingge forced his head to turn in the direction of the music being played. He had remained in the chamber he had chosen within Ling Xi caves, though now it was marred by his brutality. And there, seated across from him and framed by evidence of Cheng Luan raw power, was Shen Qingqiu. The Qing Jing Peak Lord failed to notice his current state as his eyes were closed, brows furrowed with concentration, as he plucked a song on his guqin.
The task made harder by the blood that dripped from his fingertips and coated the strings.
Just how long had Shen Qingqiu been playing that song for?
That thought snapped Liu Qingge back into action.
“Shen…” Liu Qingge paused to spit out some blood that coated his throat as he pushed himself up, “What the hell are you doing?”
The music came to a swift and brutal end as Shen Qingqiu’s eyes snapped to him, wide in shock. It was followed up with a short lived look of pure relief before his eyes fluttered shut and he collapsed to the side. Liu Qingge allowed himself only the briefest moment of hesitation before he threw his cautions and fears to the side. Even if this was a trick or feint at Shen Qingqiu’s hands, he refused to risk the health of someone who saved him out of fear.
It took an insurmountable amount of strength to force himself to crawl to Shen Qingqiu’s side and grasp the other’s wrist in his own hand. A quick examination had him relaxing a little – the other was unconscious, but safe, he had merely overworked himself past the point of exhaustion. Liu Qingge’s eyes lingered on the bloodied fingertips, and he was once again reminded of exactly why the Qing Jing Peak Lord had found himself in such a state.
Shen Qingqiu’s hair was the messiest he had ever seen it, the hair crown threatened to fall from his head at any moment and the strands needed to be brushed through thoroughly. Blood was smeared alongside one of his cheeks, like he had absentmindedly scratched an itch with one of his injured fingers. He was missing his outermost robe – a quick glance confirmed it was what had made that improvised pillow that had beneath Liu Qingge's head. All together, it painted a very clear story.
It was just a story that made no sense.
For as long as Liu Qingge had known him, Shen Qingqiu had never been someone he considered selfless. Their past had been messy and full of hurt, and the other had made it clear with how he’d scream that he’d kill Liu Qingge one day that there was no affection or loyalty between them. If one had asked Liu Qingge in the past what he thought Shen Qingqiu would do if he stumbled on him qi deviating, Liu Qingge wouldn’t have hesitated to suggest that Shen Qingqiu would have taken advantage of the opportunity presented to him.
But that wasn’t what had happened.
Here Shen Qingqiu was, unconscious after he had overworked himself for a song to calm Liu Qingge’s qi and prevent further qi deviation. Here he was after he had risked his life to subdue Liu Qingge – someone whose martial prowess far surpassed his own and who hadn’t had any control over his actions. Even Liu Qingge couldn’t have blamed him if the encounter had ended in death in self defense, yet not only had he saved his life, but he had willingly dirtied his robes and harmed himself for Liu Qingge’s comfort and well being.
The scholar of Qing Jing Peak had always presented himself as self-serving, cold and hateful. There was a stubbornness and a refusal to admit faults that Liu Qingge found annoying, and a hypocrisy to his actions that encouraged only spite. There had been nothing to suggest that he would have been willing to risk his life to save someone he had hated so clearly. The contrast between what Liu Qingge had known, what he had understood, and the reality of the situation was so stark he wondered if he had simply lost his mind.
Liu Qingge gritted his teeth and forced himself to move. He turned Shen Qingqiu over so that he was laid out on his back – the man had saved his life, the least he was owed was the dignity and comfort of not having his face pressed against the cold floor of the cave. With barely a thought, he reached over and gathered the robe that had been used to comfort him and tucked it beneath the other’s head so that his rest could be somewhat peaceful.
It only took a moment to locate his own Qiankun pouch, which he had managed to pull some emergency medical supplies from. Though he had lacked the formal training of disciples from Qian Cao Peak, he had enough of an understanding of the basics thanks to his habit of traveling far from the sect to seek out challenges. With the meager supplies he had, he set out on handling the other’s fingers. It was only fair, since the other had earned these injuries from aiding Liu Qingge that he provided aid for the injuries themselves.
With all that finally settled, Liu Qingge packed his supplies and settled into the lotus position to mediate until the other came to.
It was after a few hours of meditation the Qing Jing Peak Lord finally stirred. Though Liu Qingge was uncertain if he even wanted to deal with this encounter, he knew there was no real choice. He had to face this head on. So he opened his eyes and waited. Shen Qingqiu blinked lazily a few times before he tried to push himself up, his green eyes meeting Liu Qingge own. He nearly collapsed onto himself, and Liu Qingge had to extend a hand to keep him upright until he regained his balance.
“Liu-shidi?” Shen Qingqiu’s voice was strained as his gaze took Liu Qingge in, “Are you alright?”
“Worry about yourself first,” Liu Qingge jerked his head in the direction of the other’s hands.
The Qing Jing Peak Lord glanced at his hands, though he paused when he noticed the bandages. There was a hesitant motion as he examined his hands, with an almost subtle glance up at the man across for him. It took Liu Qingge only a moment to realize that he was just as surprised to receive help in this situation as well.
The irony was not lost on him.
“Oh. Well, at least they’ll heal quickly. Some more time in seclusion should take care of the rest,” Shen Qingqiu offered a halfhearted shrug.
Liu Qingge leaned forward, “What are you planning?”
“Planning?”
“It’s not like you to do something like this. If it weren’t for the lack of ghostly qi, I would have guessed you had been been possessed by something,” Liu Qingge pointed out with a scowl.
Multiple emotions flashed across Shen Qingqiu’s face in that moment – confusion, fear, panic, before it finally settled on something mournful. Liu Qingge refused to shudder at the sight, though all those expressions looked so wrong on Shen Qingqiu’s face. Anything other than a sneer or scowl felt wrong. Eventually his face turned away his eyes settled on another part of the cave, his loose bangs finally shielding Liu Qingge from those unsettling expressions.
“This Shixiong understands that he hadn’t been the best example of a good sect sibling when it comes to his Liu-shidi,” Shen Qingqiu’s voice was quiet and soft, if Liu Qingge wasn’t a cultivator he wouldn’t have heard it, “But surely, despite everything has said in the past, every thing he has done, Liu-shidi didn’t think things were so bad I’d take advantage of him during a qi deviation, did he?”
Liu Qingge allowed the silence that followed that question be his answer.
“Of course you... never mind. To tell you the truth, Liu-shidi, lately this Shixiong has been in seclusion, and he’s come to realize many things. When I saw you at death’s door, a beauty fading—” a sharp, forced cough interrupted that, “dying so young, it brought back so many memories. This Shixiong is deeply ashamed and filled with regret.”
Finally, Shen Qingqiu turned to face him again, “Liu-shidi, I would like to leave our disagreements in the pasts, to move forward as proper sect siblings. I understand that it may not be easy, that forgiveness takes a type of courage so few possess, but I would like to try, Liu-shidi. For the sake of Zhangmen-shixiong, and for the sake of the sect, if not for us.”
Everything about this situation made Liu Qingge want to fight something. Everything was wrong, wrong in a way he didn’t understand, and worst he couldn’t detect any lie in Shen Qingqiu’s words. Nothing about their past suggested that the scholar would completely change his attitude just at the sight of Liu Qingge nearly dying from qi deviation, nothing suggested that he would ever want to put the past behind them for any reason. It made Liu Qingge’s instincts scream danger, and yet there was nothing to fight.
There had to be a trick of some kind. Perhaps Shen Qingqiu really hadn’t been so dishonorable that he’d take advantage of Liu Qingge while he was actively suffering from qi deviation, but that didn’t guarantee that he wouldn’t take advantage of someone after they recovered from a qi deviation. Even if it wasn’t for a murder plot, he might want to settle the score in some other way.
“You need to leave,” Liu Qingge said instead.
It wasn’t an acceptance of his request, but it wasn’t an outright denial that could have him claiming that the Bai Zhan Peak Lord had intentionally made things difficult. If he left, they could recover on their own, and the chances of them getting into some kind of fight or scheme decreased. That was the best course of action given the circumstances.
“Of course, Shidi,” Shen Qingqiu offered a slight smile as he gathered himself, “If Shidi runs into more trouble during training, there’s no need to be shy; you can call Shixiong for help. Since we’re so close, we should take care of each other.”
Liu Qingge merely watched in silence as Shen Qingqiu pulled himself together and left the cave, which allowed him to finally have time to properly think about what just happened. That had probably the been the first conversation between the two of them that hadn’t ended in threats or violence, and it only took one of them nearly dying.
Instead of dwelling on it further, Liu Qingge pushed those thoughts aside.
He could deal with Shen Qingqiu’s strange behavior after he was out of seclusion.
While his reputation was for being more of a living weapon than a person, a sheer force of power with nothing but instinct to guide his hands, Liu Qingge was no fool. He understood that since he had just recovered from a qi deviation it would be best to take it easy for at least a few days. So he did, nearly a week had passed in simple, easy silence, as he meditated quietly in his chamber of the Ling Xi caves.
But once he had deemed himself fully recovered, he returned to his usual methods. With Cheng Luan in his hands once more, it was like everything had settled back into place. Everything that plagued his mind faded into nothing, now that he was reunited with his blade.
Without anything in the cave to fight against, and with his body still at potential risk after a qi deviation, instead of a proper martial set he had chosen a sword dance instead. It was one that he could do in his sleep, one his mother had taught him when he was young and uncertain of what he wanted to do in life.
Though his mother hadn’t been a cultivator, it was her dancing that had sparked his love for the sword. The beauty brought from something so deadly had enchanted him. His mother had loved her dances, and it was through her dances combined with her innate beauty had been what attracted his father’s attention. His mother had always said that she had thought him charming and kind, at first. He had been the perfect gentleman until the morning that followed their wedding night.
From that night on, she had only managed to dance alone. His father’s interest in her dancing came around every once and a while, but his interests were fleeting the next time a beautiful young woman caught his eye. She hadn’t been his first wife, and she most certainly hadn’t been his last. It wasn’t until her son had been born that she finally had someone to dance for. And he had been more than happy to be an eager student for her dance lessons.
His mother never had the chance to show Liu Mingyan.
He still remembered teaching his sister the dance for her eighth birthday.
Liu Qingge had promised his sister that on the day of her birthday he would take her out to the nearby city and let her take her pick from the stores. But things hadn’t turned out that way when a night hunt had taken longer than planned. He had pushed through his exhaustion, of course, and presented her with a pile of books for missing the morning when he went to collect her from Xian Shu Peak. A token apology to ease any potential hurt feeling.
But Liu Mingyan had always been mature for her age and had seen right through his facade. She had demanded that he have a late lunch with her, something special made by the Zui Xian Peak Lord (a favor from Qi Qingqi who had noticed Liu Qingge’s absence) and let her talk about her studies. The food had been invigorating and the rest had been needed, but he had still been disappointed that he had failed his promise. So instead, he asked her if she wanted to learn their mother’s sword dance.
His sister had agreed with a surprising eagerness she rarely allowed herself to display, and the two of them found a secluded corner to practice. They had spent the rest of the day dancing like that, until the sun had set and the moon provided the only light. It had only taken that night for Liu Mingyan to master the dance, and in the end they had promised to dance with each other again some time.
A sword had two edges – for his mother, one edge had been freedom, and the other had been captivity.
Liu Qingge had found freedom in Cheng Luan, and he had hoped his sister would find freedom in her own spirit sword once she earned it.
As his body moved through the familiar motions, through the routine that was natural to him as walking, he felt as though he was being watched. Though he already had his suspicions, he still cast out his senses to identify exactly what – or rather who – had disturbed him. Once he had his answer, he forced himself to ignore it until his dance was finished. Though there was a discomfort that came from someone he didn’t trust witness such a private thing from his past.
Once he was finished, he dismissed Cheng Luan and turned to face his intruder, “Do you understand what ‘seclusion’ means or did you forget?”
There was a flash of a sheepish smile before Shen Qingqiu concealed it with his sleeve, “Apologies, shidi. I thought I felt something odd, and got worried. I didn’t mean to intrude.”
Liu Qingge scowled at that, uncertain of what to say or how to react. It had always been difficult to get a proper read on what Shen Qingqiu’s true intentions were in the past. Now, despite the appearance of being more open, it was only more difficult because it couldn’t be genuine. But the silence appeared to have been taken as permission and stepped forward into the chamber.
“Your sword dance was beautiful, shidi,” Shen Qingqiu said with an oddly wistful tone.
Liu Qingge valued his self restraint, but even he had his limits, “Leave. Now.”
That dance was far too personal for it to have anything to do with Shen Qingqiu. He didn’t care if Shen Qingqiu was polite about it or not, that hadn’t been something for his eyes and if he said anything it would turn into a fight that he claimed to want to put a stop to.
“Wait, wait, hear this master out!” Shen Qingqiu lifted his hands in mock surrender, “I wanted to know if Liu Qingge would listen to me play for him again?”
Liu Qingge sent him a long look, “You want to play me a song?”
“The same song I played for you last time. It’s a healing song, a rare one from a legendary collection of music cultivation techniques,” Shen Qingqiu explained, “It’s what helped soothed your qi after the qi deviation. You remember it, right?”
Once again, Liu Qingge wasn’t certain how to react to the Qing Jing Peak Lord. The behavior was still too new, too strange, too disconcerting. It was so unlike anything he had ever experienced in all the years he had spent in the company of the other. Yet every method he could think of to discover possession failed. Perhaps if he had Hong Jing he could reveal something, but there was no point in wishing for that while they were both in seclusion. Besides, it didn’t feel like possession, it felt like something else.
Liu Qingge just wished he had the faintest idea what that something else was.
“Is it a good idea for you to play?” Liu Qingge countered.
“What does shidi mean by that? Surely you know by now that the song is safe by now,” Shen Qingqiu frowned a little at that.
“Your hands. Have they recovered?”
That had apparently caught Shen Qingqiu off guard, as he had lifted the sleeve to hide his expression. Though that had only lasted a moment, as after he stepped forward and lowered the sleeve. Instead, he held out his hands as if Liu Qingge’s simple question had been a secret request to personally inspect them himself. He didn’t refuse the offer, it had been a genuine question. The bandages had been removed, and there had been no sign of the damage they had suffered through only a week ago.
“There, see? This Shixiong is happy that his Shidi was so worried for him, but he’s capable of playing for him,” Shen Qingqiu replied.
“You…” Liu Qingge felt his face twist before he changed his mind, “Your hands may have healed, but doesn’t mean you can play such a piece safely.”
“Qi deviation is no joke, Liu-shidi, any potential injuries I’d get from playing a simple song would be nothing in comparison to that. Besides, it was only so taxing last time due to how long I played for. I wouldn’t have to play for even half as long now,” Shen Qingqiu gave him familiarly defiant look now, “Besides, isn’t the point of seclusion in Ling Xi caves to practice cultivation and get stronger?”
“That’s different and you know it,” Liu Qingge matched the look.
Techniques and practices to improve cultivation were not the same as training yourself past the point of exhaustion, specially not in the Ling Xi caves. Methods like that were actively discouraged because of how isolated those that entered were. If they perished in the caves because they messed up, it likely would be weeks, if not months or years, before anyone would notice them missing and find their body.
Of course, that just made it more uncomfortable that Shen Qingqiu had managed to find and save him so quickly.
It made it almost suspicious how well that encounter had turned out for them, really.
“Liu-shidi can be really stubborn sometimes, even in regards to help,” Shen Qingqiu commented almost sourly.
“I don’t need your help. I didn’t ask for your help,” Liu Qingge didn’t understand why he was so desperate to help.
Shen Qingqiu’s eyes went sharp, before he closed them and took a deep breath, “Once.”
“Once what?”
“Let me play the song for you once. Just once. Then I’ll leave you be,” Shen Qingqiu said.
Liu Qingge wasn’t sure how to reply to that, but before he could there was a quiet whisper of, “Please.”
It hadn’t been begging. But it approached so uncomfortably close to begging, too close for Liu Qingge’s liking. Shen Qingqiu would never beg for anything. He’d take what he wanted, demand what he wanted, do what he wanted, all with no remorse. Perhaps, if he deigned to be polite he would make a request, but he would never beg. If Liu Qingge’s control wasn’t as good as it was, he would have recoiled from the sheer shock at the thought. It was just another thing that made this new Shen Qingqiu so unsettling, so suspicious.
What had happened that to bring on this change?
For the first time since he had met Shen Qingqiu, Liu Qingge submitted, “Once. Just once.”
For a moment, Shen Qingqiu’s eyes flickered off to the side, like he had seen something that Liu Qingge couldn’t see or sense, regardless of what he tried. Then he lifted his sleeve to cover his expression once more. It hadn’t been quick enough to completely hide that warm smile from view. Rather than acknowledge any of that, Liu Qingge crossed the chamber and moved into the lotus position once more. Shen Qingqiu happily took a seat across from him, and pulled his guqin from his Qiankun pouch.
Without the threat or strain of qi deviation, Liu Qingge could properly listen to the song that the other played. It was a slow melody. Slow and soothing, with the faintest sense of melancholy hidden within the notes. Liu Qingge wasn’t a musician, he mainly identified music by what he thought sounded good and what he thought sounded bad, but he was certain that was on the more competent side of music. He still couldn’t imagine listening to the song in any other circumstances.
Regardless, he could feel the faint power of the song as it played, so he closed his eyes and let it flow through him.
It hadn’t taken too long for Shen Qingqiu to wrap up the song, though Liu Qingge had noted something suspicious about the melody. It was one that could be easily repeated without being noticed, which meant that it was impossible for those unfamiliar with the song to know how long the song was meant to be. Shen Qingqiu could have easily taken advantage of that fact to play the song back to back without Liu Qingge being able to call him out on it. It left him completely in control of how long he stayed.
That wouldn’t have been the first time Shen Qingqiu had tried to deceive him, but it certainly would have been the least hostile deception he had ever tried with Liu Qingge.
“This shixiong thanks his shidi,” Shen Qingqiu said when he finally finished.
“You can leave now,” Liu Qingge countered.
Shen Qingqiu simply nodded without a hint of annoyance at the rude dismissal, “Of course.”
It hadn’t taken long for Shen Qingqiu to gather his guqin and leave, with only one last hesitant glance backwards.
Good.
Anything to get away from that confusing mess.
It had taken three more sessions of musical cultivation for Shen Qingqiu to finally be satisfied with the state of Liu Qingge’s health. Though it had grown to the point of almost being an irritation, the novelty of a Shen Qingqiu that wanted to help rather than hurt him still kept him from completely snapping at the other.
A small part of him had waited for the other shoe to drop, for it to be revealed to have been nothing but a trick.
Yet all that happened were a few short attempts at conversation after each music session ended, benign questions that seemed pointless but had earned him a slightly pleased look from the other each time he answered.
Perhaps Liu Qingge had suffered some kind of head trauma from his qi deviation, one which encouraged delusions.
It would be easier to accept this new Shen Qingqiu as some kind of hallucination.