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Matt has picked up that something is seriously wrong with Jay.
It started a couple of months ago or so, after he and Jay had completely fucked the “Seventh Inning Skydive” plan—it felt nothing short of catastrophic to Matt, and Jay had the audacity to act like it was all fine and dandy. “We’ll come up with another plan,” Jay had said in the stupid-soft voice put on when he really thought he was saying something Matt would appreciate. That wasn’t the issue; the issue was that there had been no argument afterwards, no pushback from Jay, no name-calling, no whining or bitching about how he was forced to participate. He was just… fine with it.
Apparently, he found nothing wrong with the fact that this plan—their best plan—, had crashed and burned like every other time.
And that brings them to the present, where Matt has his head in Jay’s lap, not watching whatever movie Jay picked out, instead letting his mind wander to the past few months. It’s the closest he’s been to Jay in a long time. Piano-player fingers card through his hair, blunt nails dragging on his scalp. It makes his body feel warm and heavy.
“You’re amazing, do you know that?” Jay’s sweet-soft voice trails down to Matt, twirling a lock of his hair around his pointer finger. “Just amazing.”
“Oh, shut up, man.”
“But you are!”
Matt tries not to roll his eyes when he pushes himself up, out of Jay’s lap, and crosses his arms over his chest. He can feel his hair standing up at odd angles, Jay’s handiwork. “Well, sure, but- you don’t just say it. For no reason. It has to be- I have to do something.”
There’s a pause and Matt can see the gears turning in Jay’s head, trying to work Matt’s logic into his own.
“But-… you’re here?”
“Bird.”
“You are and- and that’s good. And I want to tell you you’re amazing. Because you are!” Jay’s voice is lilting high now, eyebrows up, the face he makes when Matt is arguing something that really is unbelievable. “I don’t need a reason to be nice!”
Well, yes, you do, Matt thinks but doesn’t say, just rolls his eyes again and lies his head back on Jay’s lap, conceding. “Okay, okay, whatever you say.”