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In the end it didn’t matter. The boy, the Council, the Sith, they were just moments in time that led to this one utter heartbreaking conclusion. This man whom his entire life revolved around was going to die, nothing could stop that now.
“Too Late…” The words were weak and held a finality that rocked Obi-Wan to his very core. How could this be happening, when there was so much more to say, so much more living to do?
“Promise me, train…the boy.” Obi-Wan grimaced and thrust the jealousy deep behind steel shields. The feelings that emerged in the council chambers when his master proclaimed him ready for his trials were once again fresh in his mind. The vision of soft and gentle hands grasping the young shoulders that stated he would take Anakin Skywalker as his padawan. At the time he thought it the worst moment of his life, oh how he had been completely wrong. Shaking the past from his thoughts, he would not disappoint his master, not now.
“Qui-Gon, please don’t ask me…”
Unable to verbalize any further, Qui-Gon retreated to their bond. ~Don’t follow me, and don’t give up hope. Live for that precious boy. Live for everything that we both hold dear.~
~Master, I don’t want to live for him, I don’t want to live without you…Please don’t ask me.~
~Oh Obi, I’m not asking you to live for Ani, I’m asking you to live for the precious boy that took my heart when he was thirteen. You need something to focus on, and Anakin needs you as much as I did all those years ago. You can heal his heart, and he can heal yours. Trust in the force, trust…in…me.~ The voice in Obi-Wan’s head begun to fade and Qui-Gon’s heart beat was starting to become erratic.
“NOOO! Don’t leave me, I’m not ready….” His voice became but a whisper as he brought the sweaty forehead to his lips and gave his master a reverent kiss. “Please don’t leave me.” The last syllable left his lips and the force itself seemed to swirl around him as he felt the last fading heartbeat. The final flutter and breath of the man that had once been father, teacher and recently so much more, how could he just let go without trying, something, anything. “I love you, Qui-Gon Jinn and we will live or die together, do you hear me! Do you hear me, the council be damned but I’m attached and I won’t let go of you without a fight!”
As the declaration left his mouth, Obi-Wan grasped their shriveling bond and enfolded the strands tightly together, his own life essence pouring into the wound that was threating to take everything away. Obi-Wan held firmly to the body against his lap, his mind reaching out to all the memories that meant the most to them both, focusing on them as he willed wounds to close and vessels to resurge. It was a delicate process, but one that for the moment seemed so very easy to imagine. As the vessels repaired themselves to stop the bleeding, Obi-Wan could feel his own body tingle with weakness. He knew that it was dangerous to offer one’s life essence without a healer present, but he had no alternative but to continue, he would NOT lose the love of his life before getting the chance to tell him.
The memories continued to pour through him, their first meeting, when Obi-Wan was just a toddler in the creche, before the madness that was his acceptance as a padawan. Qui-Gon leaving him on Melida/Daan with the Young, the sorrow worn on his face with each step he moved away from his Padawan. It then flashed to the pure joy of Obi-Wan returning to him, only to be replaced by his Master standing by his side as Xanatos melted into the acid pit. Obi-Wan relived each moment with his master, seeing his and his master’s point of view, both sides of the coin seeming as right to the other as they lived both lifetimes.
“Take this moment, Qui-Gon. The moment I knew I loved you. It wasn’t anything special, it was just a moment you took with the younglings. You sat and told them a story, one of our many adventures. It took my breath away the amount of love you had for them, the innocence that they gave back to you after a long hard mission. You were gentle with them, as if they were the most precious thing in the world.”
Obi-Wan looked down into his master’s shut eyes, but saw a single tear slide down the stubbled cheek. “That’s it Qui, stay with me, stay and share your life and love with me, please…Give me a chance to tell you I love you. I was going to wait until I was knighted by your hand, but I no longer wish to wait. I don’t want you to die not knowing just how much I care for you.”
Just as the last word left his lips, the padawan slouched over his master, his energy perilously drained. “Master Jinn, Padawan Kenobi!” the shout was barely heard by Obi-Wan as he let go. It was in the hands of the force now, nothing could change things now.
Queen Amidala, Captain Panaka and Anakin flew down the bridge that led to the generator room, only to see two bodies collapsed together, the young boy ran over to them and started to cry. “Do something, they can’t be dead!” He begged to both the Queen and her captain, their eyes showing their own sorrow at the scene before them.
“Captain, is there a pulse, are they both…gone?” Amidala kneeled by the youthful man, his body still clenched tightly around the older master. “I have a pulse on them both, but it’s faint. We need medics here immediately.” Panaka turned and commed for a team, making sure to know this was top priority. They had won the battle thanks to these two Jedi and they would do their best to make sure their names were not added to the memorial of the dead. “Stay with us Obi, Qui-Gon. Please…” The Queen clenched both of their hand, noticing the other hands were embraced together.
It was two days later that his eyes opened to a vivid light, washing everything within sight in a brilliant white. He squinted and tried to raise his hand to defend himself from its radiance. “Lights at fifty percent.” He heard the words and reluctantly opened his eyes once more.
His throat was parched, but he tried to speak anyways, “Obi…” Just as the thoughts of their fight rushed through his mind, he struggled to sit up. “You must rest, Master Jinn.” He felt the hands holding him down which only made him fight even more. “Where is…Obi-Wan, my padawan?” The commands were but a whisper from his normal guttural growl, but they were heard just the same. A straw was held to his lips, allowing the cold water to soothe the irritated passage.
“You’ve been in bacta for two days and your body is going to be weak and sore, but you will live thanks to your Padawan.”
“Where?” The words were repeated, stronger this time. They were keeping something from him and he didn’t need the force to tell him so.
“He’s resting, Master Jinn.” The medic turned and started to chart more numbers, looking at all the readouts.
“Don’t evade, I know something is wrong. I can’t…I can’t feel him.” Just as that revelation flew through his mind, his energy surged and he managed to sit up, his chest and abdominal muscles screaming at the sudden movement.
“Master Jinn! What are you doing?” The medic rushed to his side, seeing the agony in his eyes. “I will see my Padawan, and you will NOT hold information about him from me.” The force was held to bear against his statement as the medic stood ramrod straight.
“You will see your Padawan and I will tell you everything.” Qui-Gon let out a sigh, his intention was not to use a mind trick but it happened anyway. “Where is he and what is wrong?”
“He was brought in, unconscious with you. He had no physical wounds, but he was in a coma nonetheless. We had to get you into bacta or you would have died, but when we forced your body away from….” The healer gulped and turned away from the master once more.
“What happened?” The softer words came out.
“He had a violent reaction when we pulled your body from his arms. He came awake suddenly and started attacking everyone in sight. He was screaming that you were dead and we couldn’t take you away to be burned.” Qui-Gon’s eyes misted over, the violent actions showing his padawan in a fragile mental state.
“Go on.”
“We tried to explain that you weren’t dead, that we just needed to get you into the tank to heal, but he wouldn’t listen to reason. The longer you were away from his touch, the more despondent he became. We were able to finally come around the backside of him and…You have to understand we had no other choice, he was a danger to himself and to others.”
Qui-Gon immediately clenched his jaw, “What did you do?”
“One of the healers was able to get behind him and wrap a force suppressor around his wrist. We didn’t understand the effect it would have, but he shrieked loudly for a moment before passing out on the floor. He is stable, but he hasn’t awoken since. We haven’t taken the suppressor off of him yet, we were waiting for the council and it’s healers to arrive.”
“You took the force from him? You took the very thing that connects us to each other? I cannot feel him, which means he cannot feel me either. He thinks I’m dead and doesn’t want to awaken. What have you done!?” The master wiped away the tears that were streaming down his face. He didn’t care if they saw him cry, if they saw his emotions, he just wanted to see the man he’d spent the last twelve years with, to prove he was still alive. “I will see him, lead the way.”
“You are in no shape to be…” Just as the words left his mouth, he saw the stern and stubborn look of a man who would not be stopped. “Ok, but at least let me fetch a hover chair.”
“Very well, but hurry. Please. I need to see him.” A few minutes later the master was led into a dim and cold room, machines of all kinds beeping and making noise. There upon a large bed of white lay a motionless Obi-Wan Kenobi. He no longer looked the small boy that once used to occupy the healer halls, but a man that took up most of the bed. His body was bare, but covered lightly with a sheet, his chest moving up and down with an unlabored breath.
“Obi, my padawan.” The words left his mouth just as fast as he scrambled from the hover chair, not caring that his muscles protested such movement. “Master Jinn, you are not healed, please don’t re-injure…” Qui-Gon turned his eyes to the healer, watching the younger man’s eyes burst with fear and concern. “I don’t care. A life without him is not a life I wish to have. Leave!” This time, he did put the force behind his words and watched the healer leave the room quickly.
The door slid shut just as quickly as it opened, leaving the two souls completely alone and quiet, except for the beeping of the machines. “My Obi-Wan please come back to me.” He moved closer to the bed, pulling up a chair next to the motionless and silent man.
It seemed like only minutes to Qui-Gon but after three hours of sitting vigil and whispering soft words to his Padawan, someone finally entered the room. They were going to try to move him back to his own bed, but they would not succeed, he would make sure he never left this man’s side again. He was so foolish for running ahead and now it may cost his precious Obi-Wan’s life. Qui-Gon let his head press lightly to the bed, his hand entwined with his Padawan’s.
The door shut and nothing was said, it was an uncomfortable silence that Qui-Gon refused to breech. “Qui-Gon?” The harsh tone that was expected was nothing but a whisper. “Mace?” He lifted his head up and glanced towards the door, not sure what he was expecting, but not the sad almost heartbroken look upon his childhood friend.
“You really should be resting Qui-Gon. We spoke to the local healer and he’s turning everything over to the temple healers that travelled with the council.” Mace walked closer to his friend and rested his hand gently upon his sunken shoulders. “Is he, ok?” Mace was often seen as strict and menacing because of his council position but the look on his face was nothing if not concerned and heartfelt.
“They blocked him from the force Mace. I can’t feel him. I’m sitting in the same room with him and have never felt so empty and alone. What if he doesn’t come back to me, to us?” Mace watched the emotions poor from the usually stoic Jedi Master, this was serious, he hadn’t seen this Qui-Gon Jinn since the passing of their childhood friend, Tahl. Just as Mace was about to respond the door once again slid open and in walked Yoda and Master Healer Sanyi. Yoda leaned heavily on his gimmer stick, his eyes full of sadness and misery.
“Master Yoda.” Qui-Gon replied softly.
“Thought you lost I did. Saw your death long ago, but stubborn is your Padawan.”
“I didn’t mean to worry you, my master.”
“Worry about our beloved Padawans, we always do. Felt your death I did, but brought you back he did. Attachment has always been this one’s downfall.”
“That isn’t fair, Master. Obi-Wan only did what he thought was right, even if I wished he hadn’t put himself in this position.”
Mace interjected, knowing this was a conversation best left for later. “Sanyi, how much damage was done by removing Kenobi from the force, will he be ok?”
The healer was looking over data charts and peering at the machines that kept watch over the young man. He was normally a very harsh looking man, but the look on his face mellowed quickly when speaking directly to Qui-Gon. “Your padawan has suffered much. The least of which is the possible severing of your bond. We won’t know much more until we can remove the force inhibitor and test the link. From what I’ve read of the reports, I would say that Obi-Wan went into psychic shock. He was barely holding himself and you within the force and when they tried to take you away, he panicked. The worse thing they could have done was take the force away, but they were desperate to keep him and the others around him safe. Foolish by our standards but they are no used to treating force sensitives.”
Qui-Gon listened to his words and felt the immense guilt start to tear inside him. He brought this upon Obi-Wan, if he had only waited for his padawan. He was so worried for the young man’s safety against the Sith that he didn’t trust in their connection. He should have fought beside him as equal. If his Obi-wan didn’t make it through this, he would never be able to alieve the guilt.
Sanyi moved closer to the young man and ran his hand gently down the naked arm to the band circling the left wrist. Without touching the force suppressor the healer reached out with his mind and unsecured the circlet, almost flinging it violently towards the wall in disgust. Suppressors had their purpose, but he would never get over the wrongness in the force when in their presence.
A moment later Obi-Wan started to move violently, his body shaking and convulsing from the massive energy flowing around his body.
“Obi…” Qui-Gon tried to stand, caught up within the force storm that was his padawan, his own unstable emotions coming into contact with the utter loneliness of Obi-Wan Kenobi.
“Dead…Qui-Gon, please don’t leave me. Take me…” The words tore from the dehydrated lips as he started to scream in agony. Qui-Gon had let go of his hand when the force rushed back into him, but quickly re-established the connection between them as the scream was ripped from his lips.
“Not gone…open your eyes, Obi-Wan.” The words barely escaped his lips as both Healer Sanyi and Master Yoda warned Qui-Gon to let the force settle.
“Master?” The words were hardly heard as Obi-Wan’s blue-grey eyes bore into the soul of Qui-Gon Jinn. Everything that they hadn’t said to each other in the last two years was laid bare in a single moment. Their bond was singing with rightness. Their bond, Qui-Gon quickly thought. It was there, it wasn’t gone, and it was…more.
Healer Sanyi glanced at both Master Yoda and Mace and realized exactly what was going on and knew this was about to turn into something more complicated. He moved toward the master and gently pulled him away from Obi-Wan. They all watched as both screamed in agony as they were ripped from the other.
“Master, please. Don’t.”
Qui-Gon used all his remaining strength and pushed away from the healer to reach out and touch his mate. “I’m here love, I’m here.” That is what they were now; they were mates for life, one in soul but two in body. The words barely registered with Obi-Wan as Qui-Gon sat on the bed scooping him into his lap, the relief of touch better than any other medicine.
“Love?” the thoughtful eyes were pleading for answers.
“Obi-Wan Kenobi, you have been my heart for several years. I was content to love you from afar as the Code dictates, but how can attachments be wrong when the force has brought us together.” The smaller body folded into the larger, hope bursting through where death and anguish were moments before.
Obi-Wan struggled for an instant through the emotions, trying to find his voice in such a moment. “I don’t know what to say, other than I love you more than words. I thought I had lost you, and as much as you commanded me to live, it was the one thing I didn’t want to do alone. I hope you can forgive me.” He pushed away from Qui-Gon for the moment, needing to see the emotion in those beautiful sapphire eyes.
“It pains me that you would give your life for mine, but it’s hard to argue when I would have done the same. I think that’s all a moot point now, do you feel it?” He reached down and pushed the padawan braid from his chest and over the pale shoulders.
“Our bond, it’s different. It’s deeper and…Oh.”
Qui-Gon chuckled at the flushed cheeks. As they were about to continue, they were interrupted by the tapping of a cane on the floor. They had both forgotten the two masters and healer still in the room.
“Done you are?”
“We’re sorry Master. It would seem our bond has deepened.”
Healer Sanyi interrupted quickly. “It has more than deepened; do you know what your Padawan did?”
Obi-Wan started trembling. His greatest fear was disappointing his master and the tone of the healer turned from concern to disgust. “My Padawan saved my life.”
“Master Yoda, Master Mace I am afraid I have to report Master Jinn and his Padawan officially to the Jedi Council. They have initiated a lifebond, something that has been forbidden in our order for some time, but to bind oneself with their padawan is the greatest…sin.” Healer Sanyi spoke softly, trying to keep his own feelings on the matter under control.
“We hear your petition and we will report further to the rest of the council, if you would please leave us Master Healer Sanyi.” Mace spoke in his official capacity and once the healer had left the room he turned on his old friend. “What were you both thinking?”
“I’m sorry masters, I didn’t mean to, I didn’t think..I.” His normally very calm and calculating padawan tried to find a way to calm what was going to turn ugly very soon.
Qui-Gon settled beside Obi-Wan on the bed, entwining their hands together to abate the new bond. “Mace, we did not do this lightly or even on purpose. The force drew us together. The very thing we serve as Jedi has decreed that we be together, how can you argue that?”
“Qui-Gon I’ve known of your love for your padawan for a long time and I looked the other way, knowing that deep down you would never cross that line. Yet, here we are, you are bound to a student, someone you mentored since he was thirteen, how can we protect the temple from such an example?”
Yoda’s ears drooped looking very much all his eight hundred years suddenly. “Speak honestly he does. Separated you must be, the bond surpressed before allowed to mature it is.”
Qui-Gon could feel the misery radiating through his bond and knew what he had to do. “I request to speak to the full council before we go any further. I will not be separated from Obi-Wan, this was the will of the force and the council must see this. It is time for change, it is time for the council to stop living in the past or there will be no future.” He reached down and tightened his grip on Obi-Wan’s hand.
~It will be alright my love. We will get through this.~
Mace let out a small sigh, he knew how this was going to end and he mourned the loss to himself and the Jedi. “Very well Qui-Gon, as soon as you and your Padawan can get dressed and presentable, we will be waiting. The Queen was gracious enough to lend us a room to convene in.” Qui-Gon just nodded, watching both his friend and his master walk morosely out the door.
The door slid shut, leaving the room in total silence. “Obi-Wan?” He looked at the younger man, his face filled with sadness and hurt. Quickly Obi-Wan moved to the floor and bowed his head to the cold floor, breaking their contact.
“Forgive.”
Just the one word said everything that was flowing between the two. There was so much guilt and regret that it made the Master nauseous. “Oh my love, there is nothing to forgive.” The pain still laced through them both, but Qui-Gon did his best to resist the touch, allowing his new bondmate to make the first move.
“Qui-Gon, what I did was against the code. I couldn’t live without you and pulled you back to me. I forced this…this…BOND on you. They will now separate us forever.” His teeth clenched on the last words, his heart breaking at the very thought.
“I have one question for you, not as my padawan but as my equal in this. Obi-Wan, do you love me?”
Without hesitation, his lips moved. “I love you more than anything.”
“Then trust in me, trust in us. We may not serve the Jedi by the time this day is over, but we will serve the Force. There is nothing inherently wrong with being in love. The danger lay in letting attachment lead us to doing things against the will of the force. The council used to believe in this, but somewhere along the way they forgot. It is time for a change, and they can either accept us, or give us our leave.”
“All that you’ve given to them, all that you’ve sacrificed over the years, I couldn’t take you away from that.”
“One could say the same to you, m’love. You’ve lived your life for one goal, to reach knighthood. Can you, or will you give that up to live in the moment with me? I can’t promise anything, but that I will always love you.”
“Why, Qui-Gon Jinn, are you, proposing to me?” He chuckled and it lit up the very room, this was the right path for them, he was never so sure of anything before.
“We’ve already bonded my only love, but yes. I think I am. Will you spend the rest of your life with me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. I have loved you for years and want to spend the rest of my days showing you just how much.” Obi-Wan glanced into the eyes, seeing the doubt and vulnerability that shown. He had never seen his master give himself so openly to anyone before and it deeply humbled him.
“I can’t remember a time that I didn’t love you, but for the last few years it was that of one man for another. I will spend my days with you, here within the Jedi order or outside under the guidance of the force. I love you so much, Master.”
“Qui-gon.”
Obi-Wan looked at him, slightly confused. “In this we are equals, forever. I have no desire to master your heart, please call me Qui-Gon.”
Blushing Obi-Wan stood and took the older man’s hand in his, the ache of the bond easing somewhat. “Yes, Qui-Gon.” Obi-Wan found himself pulled closely to the strong chest, their lips just inches from the other. Qui-Gon moved the last inch, pressing their lips tightly together, only gently parting his lips to taste the sweetness of his new bondmate. Deepening the kiss, Obi-Wan slipped his tongue between the soft lips he had longed to taste for years, it was like coming home. His mate tasted of tea and sweetness and something that could only be called Qui-Gon.
After several minutes, they had to reluctantly part to catch their breath. “I hate to be the practical one, but we should get dressed and meet with the council. I once found the thought of not making knighthood terrifying but knowing that we might find ourselves ostracized today leaves me with no regret.”
“Once the decision was made, I believe it gave us a feeling of relief. They say that when one makes a life changing decision it can leave you light headed with a great weight leaving your shoulders.” They both smiled shyly at the other, their hands still entwined. It was time to face their future, together.
As the two Jedi approached the rooms that held the council, they noticed that both Padme and Anakin were awaiting them. They both sat upon two rustic chairs, their hands entwined as they spoke softly to another.
“Master Qui-Gon, sir!” Anakin leapt from the chair and into the older man’s open arms. He was such a loving child, even though he had lived through a horrendous childhood as a slave. “You’re alive! You both are, I was so worried.”
Obi-Wan reached out and gently ran his hand over the bright blond hair, feeling the love Qui-Gon already bore the boy flow over their bond. “It’s ok Anakin, we are both ok. We are glad that you are ok as well.”
“I heard you did just what I told you and stayed in the cockpit of the fighter.” Qui-Gon had been briefed on Anakin’s adventure to blow up the droid ship, but he couldn’t help but tease the young boy just a bit.
“Yes, yes sir. You told me to stay but it began to start up and we couldn’t override the autopilot at first. Once R2 got controls over to me, I was already in space and in trouble. I just, did what I thought was right and I blew it up!” The little boy looked down at the queen, watching her chuckle behind her hand at his situation. “I swear I was trying to obey, please don’t take me back to Tatooine.”
“Oh Ani.” The Jedi master quickly swept the boy into a very tight hug, watching the understanding eyes of his lifemate as he let go of their hand and once again felt the pang of loneliness. “Look at me, Ani. I am very proud that you listened to both me and the force. You did not do anything wrong, and even though I worry that you could have gotten hurt, NOTHING you can or ever will do, will see you a slave back on Tatooine. Do you understand?” His large fingers ran over the small tanned cheeks, gently wiping away the tears that had fallen.
“Then you aren’t mad at me?” He sniffled.
Obi-Wan interrupted the two and ran his own hand smoothening over the back of the boy. “If Qui-Gon is to be your master one day, Ani you will need to understand one simple thing. He may be disappointed in your decisions, he may even worry about your safety and show it badly by getting grumpy, but in the end he will never be mad at you, he will never hate you and most of all he will always love you, no matter what.” Qui-Gon sent love, warmth and understanding over their bond. A week ago, Obi-Wan wouldn’t have understood. He would have seen the boy as a rival for his affection, he was so proud of his padawan, the man that he would love forever.
“Master Jinn, Padawan Kenobi?” The soft words were spoken, everyone forgetting the young queen was present.
“Please call us Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan, I think we’ve shared enough adventures to forgo the formalities, at least when you are not in court.”
“You are quite right, Qui-Gon. What is to happen to little Ani?”
“For now, nothing has been decided, but I do fear that the council may not grant my petition to train him, but we will find a way.” Qui-Gon glanced at Obi-Wan with a bit of wistful sorrow. They may very well in the next hour or two walk out of that room and no longer be Jedi.
“If I may offer a back up plan. We have grown attached to Anakin and he is being called the savior of Naboo. Our people would take him in if need be. He will not want or need for anything under our care if the Jedi will not take him for training.” She smiled at the young man, her eyes showing more than just the concern of a monarch.
“That is very kind of you, Padme. It is a welcome alternative that we might need to keep in mind.” He took her hand in his, gently squeezing it to give comfort. She was such a young queen, with such a large heart, but she would be good for the Naboo people, those human and Gungan alike.
The doors to the room swung open and Mace Windu appeared before them, the look on his face morose. “It is time, Master Jinn and Padawan Kenobi, if you would please attend the council.” Qui-Gon looked at his friend, for some sign of hope or comradery only to find nothing but steal shields.
“Very well, we are ready.” Clasping the hand of the man he called by padawan and lifemate, they proceeded behind Mace to figure out their future.
“Before the council you have come to answer for many things, Master Jinn and Padawan Kenobi.” Yoda looked at them both, his ears still drooping slightly as the words left his lips. “First and foremost, to the Sith we speak. Killed he was by young Kenobi?”
“Yes my master. We engaged the sith together and fought well, however my padawan was kicked from the bridge and we were separated for a moment. I continued to force the Sith into a corner, which was the power generator room. The force around him was tainted and powerful and I found myself growing tired and overwhelmed.” Obi-Wan squeezed his hand tightly as he told the story neither of them wanted to hear.
“It was at the peak of my exhaustion that we reached the generator room and I was separated from the Sith by a red force field. They were cycling off and on and I knew I had at least a couple of minutes to compose myself within the force for a final push. I kneeled in meditation while Obi-Wan was trapped behind another field about fifty feet away.”
“Afraid you were?” Yoda’s eyes bore into the master’s.
Obi-Wan wanted to jump in and scream of course not. Qui-Gon had been in many life or death situations but he was never afraid of dying. There is no death, only the force.
Qui-Gon swallowed and closed his eyes. “Fear was coursing through me like never before, my master.”
The murmurs from the council were running through Obi-Wan’s head, trying to wrap around what Qui-Gon had just said. Fear, was what drove him through those red shields without him. Fear had almost cost them both their lives. Qui-Gon turned slightly, his eyes glistening with unshed tears at the grief and uncertainty he felt over their bond.
“Master Jinn, please elaborate for the council. What exactly did you fear?” Mace Windu interjected, his eyes still showing no emotion or indication that he was on their side.
“Masters,” Qui-Gon paused, trying to wrestle his own thoughts from that time. “You all know that the living force calls upon me as easily as breathing. I have never been one to be plagued by thoughts of the future, as the moment resonates so rightly in my being. However, there was a vision, a vision that I have seen over and over for the past few years.”
“A vision you had? Visions never plagued you before, odd this is.” Yoda looked on his ex-padawan with sorrow.
“At first the visions I had were nothing specific. I saw red, black and felt hatred, a sense of loss, but as time went on, the vision also turned into nightmares. After about a year, things became clearer.” Qui-Gon turned away from the council and looked his padawan squarely in the eyes. He needed forgiveness, not from the council but for not trusting his other half, his partner.
“In my vision, it was Obi-Wan that pressed ahead without me. It always ended with me lighting his pyre.” Qui-Gon’s voice deepened, the vision still clear in his mind. “I swore years ago that once things started to move in that direction that I would do everything in my power to avoid that ending.” Qui-Gon’s voice broken up somewhat, trying to gauge his padawan’s reaction to the truth.
“Defy the force you did.”
“Perhaps. I was too close to everything to truly think clearly, but everything within told me that Obi-Wan was needed in our future.”
“You were too close to this vision and should have sought council with at least one of us. If it wasn’t for Kenobi, you would not be before us today and indeed we almost lost both of you. You are playing with fire and it only shows your unhealthy attachment to your ward.” Mace stared him down, their friendly connection buried under the contempt of the councilman before him.
“Perhaps, but the only person in this room that I owe an apology is to Obi-Wan. He fought valiantly by my side for twelve years and deserved better than being shut out. He belonged at my side as in all things.” Obi-Wan closed his eyes for just a moment, letting the warm words and pride flow over him. He was good enough, he wasn’t left behind for lack of experience but because the older man thought of protecting him.
“Master, I forgive you, but in the future I would appreciate more knowledge. By withholding this vision you left me ignorant of the possibilities and we almost died for it.”
“If you two are finished, there is more to discuss.” Mace scowled.
“Yes, yes, Sith you fought, master or apprentice this was?”
Obi-Wan was going to let his master answer but he felt the need to answer on his own behalf. “As Master Jinn was indisposed, I had the distinct displeasure of being under the Sith’s direct gaze. I tried to probe his mind, but he had steel shields. I would say, however that I felt another presence with him. It was as if he had someone else lending him strength. That would lead me to believe that the master was not present at this fight. I slain the apprentice, I’m very sure of that fact.”
“Always two there are. If killed the apprentice was, then the Master will seek a new apprentice.” Yoda’s ears kept drooping further and further as the meeting progressed. Qui-Gon could tell his master was stressed, he hadn’t seen him so weathered in all the years they had been together.
“That leads me to the next matter. I would ask that you revisit allowing Anakin Skywalker training. If the dark lord is seeking a new apprentice, this is not the time to throw a very powerful child into his open arms.” Obi-Wan held a breath, knowing this wasn’t going to go the way they wanted.
“We do have a report about young Skywalker blowing up the droid control ship. How exactly a nine year old boy ended up alone in a Starfighter, in a battle concerns us greatly. We will discuss Skywalker soon, but there is something else we must discuss first.” Mace closed his eyes and Qui-Gon could tell he didn’t wish to bring up the subject. “It has been brought to the attention of this council that you and your Padawan have the beginnings of a lifebond. Is this true Master Jinn?”
“Yes.” Qui-Gon refused to beg for forgiveness.
“Yes.” Obi-Wan spoke softly with his master, knowing that his master would offer nothing else for the council until they asked.
“You know that we have rules against such things. To have such attachments as a knight and master of the order is frowned upon, but it is strictly prohibited between master and apprentice. What do you have to say for yourself Master Jinn?” Even Piell cut off Mace quickly, knowing he wouldn’t put the screws to his friend so to speak.
“It was the will of the force and is a matter between Obi-Wan and I.” Qui-Gon offered no more and moved closer to his padawan, wanting him to feel the love and affection that he would always hold for him.
The council immediately broke out in argument, each master trying to offer their own condemnation. “Before Naboo, together you were, Obi-Wan?”
“I have loved my master for years. It was once just a crush but it bloomed into so much more. I however never told him and Qui-Gon never approached me with similar feelings. My master never acted inappropriately or ever forced himself or his feelings upon me. I would like to say that if you think such things about me or Qui-Gon then the council has more to worry about than the Sith. We are Jedi. We have never sought to break the code and I believe we are still not. The force willed this bond, it could have let us die, it could have brought us both back. However it bound us together forever, how can you defy the will of the force and say it is restricted by the code?”
“How dare you mouth off to the Council? Who are you to dictate the will of the force, young one?” Master Piell once again started.
“Enough!” Mace growled, a headache forming quickly behind his eyes. “You have both broken the code in respect to attachments and we must decide how to proceed from here. If we allow this, it will set a precedent for our order.” They all started to murmur between themselves. Each person brining up a point of contention as each moment that passed. Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon just stood in the middle of the room. Obi-Wan could feel the weakness in his master starting to form. He was still not fully healed from his wounds and this trial was taking all of his energy.
I’m ok Obi-Wan. I just tire of the Jedi dogma. They will never see this as the blessing that we do. The force willed this, there is no other explanation.
They are going to force us apart.
That will be their decision; there is no other way for them. It would set a precedent that they are not ready to change. They have become too rigid in their ways.
“We cannot and shall not allow this to continue. Master Jinn you will report immediately for a solo assignment and Padawan Kenobi, you will assigned another master to determine what detriment this has had to your training. If they find that you have not suffered then you will be allowed to take your trials.” Master Piell almost growled at the two before him.
“You will be barred from communication after you leave this chamber. The bond will eventually go dormant, then perhaps after that has happened we can revisit the matter of communication.” Mace added to Piell’s edict. He looked on his friend, finally allowing a bit of emotion to show in his gaze. Once upon a time, he had looked on Qui-Gon in the same loving manner as Obi-Wan and he only wished that he didn’t have to have a hand in their separation. He wanted nothing more than for his oldest and dearest friend to be happy.
“Understand the love you bear, I do. Sorry for this I am, but allowed it cannot be.” Yoda gazed at his former padawan, seeing the sorrow deep in his eyes.
Obi-Wan suddenly felt sick to his stomach, bile rising up through his throat as the moments continued to tick on. His heart was racing and his palms went quite clammy. ‘Breathe’, he told himself. How could this be happening, they were tearing them apart. Qui-Gon looked to his love, feeling every bit of panic flowing through their bond, just as it was shut down completely, blocked by the Council.
“NO!” Obi-wan fell to his knees, clenching his chest as his heart threatened to beat right out of his chest cavity. “Qui-Gon!”
Qui-Gon was no better off; his strength was non-existent as he fell to the floor with his padawan. “Obi-Wan, breathe…breathe with me. We can do this, concentrate with me.” The words were slow to come from the master’s lips as the council watched the agony before their brethren.
Mace stumbled from his chair, unable to just sit and watch the pain that they were enduring. “Stop it. Stop it now!” The senior master looked at the other members with pale face, unable to understand what they were doing.
Yoda raised his hand and everything stopped. The pain was gone, their bond almost shredded beyond repair as the two clutched another in a heap on the floor. “We…quit.” Qui-Gon was able to utter just those two words as he hugged Obi-Wan tightly against his chest.
“The future that you see for us, is not the way of the force. We will live in the light, but no longer will we follow your path.” Obi-Wan joined voices with his mate. “The apprentice may have died here on Naboo, but the master will thrive while the council sits on its throne, unable to move into the future and see that we isolate ourselves from others. Not just those without the force, but those with. Love is not a bad thing, love is everything. Without love, then why do we do it? Why even try. Without love there is only hatred and apathy. We need love to live on.”
Yoda looked at the duo, clenching tightly to the other as the bond tried to settle out from such stress. He longed for the change that the two spoke of, but his council of peers would not change, at least not yet. They were bound by the code of the past, not realizing that with any living thing, evolution must happen. “Miss you, I will. Go with the Force.” He gently approached the two, and laid his clawed hand against the stubbled cheek of his former padawan. “Love you I do, hurt you I wished not.”
Qui-Gon looked up, tears still streaming down his face from the ordeal. “We didn’t want this, but we can’t live without each other. If you have need of us, we will be there. We do not wish to go against you.”
“Know this, we do. But protect the padawans we must. Resigning best if separate you will not. Young Skywalker, trained he will not be. Place with you, he will have?” The twinkle in the master’s eye didn’t escape Qui-Gon’s notice. He was still a devious little troll and knew that Qui-Gon was the best master for the young former slave.
“He will be part of our family. Thank you Master.” He slowly stood up and bowed to the only person he had ever thought of as father. “I will miss you.”
“May the force be with you.” Yoda nodded to young Obi-Wan and walked slowly out of the door, the rest of the council following without word.
Mace looked back from the door one final time, taking them both in one last time. “Go in peace my friends. Love him as I never could, Obi-Wan.”
Qui-Gon gently bit at his lower lip, knowing this may very well be the last time he saw his friend. “I will miss you.” They both watched as the dark-skinned man reluctantly left the room and the door slid shut.
Obi-Wan let out a soft sigh, leaving just the two. “I’m sorry Qui-Gon. I never meant to take your life from you.”
“Oh, Obi-Wan, you have done no such thing. You have given me life. I was once an old man full of regret and grief. I never thought to love again, must less with everything in my heart. We may no longer follow the council, but we can serve the people with the will of the force behind us.” Qui-Gon drew Obi-Wan into his arms, crushing him in a strong embrace. They could feel the other’s heart beating together, one in all things.
“Now what do we do, Ma..Qui-Gon?”
“My Qui-Gon? I think I could get used to being called that.” The man chuckled, feeling freer than ever. They would have trials and tribulations, but they were together and that’s all that mattered. “We talk to the young Queen and see if she would have need of our services to help Naboo rebuild. We will keep Anakin with us and train him. He may never be a Jedi, but he will be a master of the force.”
“Do you think, I mean, would it be too forward of us to ask Padme for a reward?”
“It would be against the Jedi code to ask such a thing of those we serve, but we are no longer Jedi. What is on your mind?” They started to walk out of the room, still hand in hand.
“Shmi Skywalker. I was thinking we could ask for the resources to retrieve her for Ani. As he will not be a Jedi there is nothing wrong with having his mother with him. It just seems like the right thing to do.”
“Indeed. It is the right thing to do. If the Queen says no, then we will find another way. Obi-Wan, do you feel it?” Qui-Gon tilted his head up, closing his eyes to the force around them.
“Qui?”
“When I felt the force around us, it just felt, wrong. Darkness seemed to be overpowering, but now I don’t feel the same urgency. There is always darkness, but the future doesn’t seem so unbalanced. I wonder if we should perhaps establish our own center here on Naboo. Anakin isn’t the only force user that was found too late. We shouldn’t leave them to the darkside just because the temple refuses to see potential for both good and dark. ”
Obi-Wan reached over and pulled the taller man closer, his head tilted up just enough to catch his lips against Qui-Gon’s. “Mmm, the future taste, I mean…feels better than ever.”
“Impudent brattling.”
“Your impudent brattling.”
“Always and forever, just as you will always be the master of my heart.” They both turned from the room and looked back at the twelve empty chairs. There would be regrets, friends that they would miss, but this was their future, the future that was meant to be. Hand in hand they walked from the room, seeking out their young ward and the Queen that would soon also be part of their ever widening family.
Mace watched from the shadows of a nearby corner with Yoda by his side. “Stronger together they are.”
“Stronger then we were. They were meant to be together, the force did will it. What does it say for us that we hold true to codes, instead of the will of the force?”
“The end I have foreseen, but a brighter future on the horizon thanks to them. Darkness for now is vanquished to the shadows.” Yoda smiled and tapped the dark-skinned master on the shin with his gimmer stick. “Yes, Yes, brighter the future is…”