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They find the box of VHS tapes in the bottom drawer in the bedroom of the bus.
“I bet Kanye left these here,” Dan immediately says.
He’s said the same thing already about a comb wedged between two of the sofa cushions, the wrapper to a packet of crisps, and a breath mint.
“Of course,” Phil says, because it’s easier to just agree. They’ve got the box out on the bed, sat in the middle of the duvet. He pulls one box out at random. “I’m sure Kanye is a big fan of… Home Alone 2.”
Dan crowds in beside Phil to look through the tapes. “Please. Kanye is more a Free Willy kind of guy.”
“I haven’t even seen half of these,” Phil says. “And I actually lived through the 90s.”
“Old.” Dan elbows Phil. “Old old old.”
“Shut it.” Phil pulls another box out. “Dan, look! The Lion King!”
He lets out a gorilla screech.
“Idiot,” Dan says. “We’re going to watch it, though.”
“We’re on this bus for two months,” Phil says. “We’re going to watch them all.”
*
Spoiler: They do watch them all.
*
They spend half an hour fighting over which tape to christen the trip with. They flip three coins. They play six rounds of rock paper scissors. They try to see who can hold their breath longest.
Eventually Marianne picks for them, because she’s tired of hearing them bicker and Dark Crystal was always her favorite movie anyway.
*
Phil falls asleep halfway through Casper, head on Dan’s shoulder with a forehead too warm and breath that rattles a little.
It’s an awful shame, Dan thinks. Because Phil, in a cough syrup delirium ten minutes into the movie, admitted to a crush on Devon Sawa that Dan was definitely looking forward to teasing him about.
Before the movie’s over he’s already searching Amazon for Devon Sawa movies to give Phil for Christmas, just to make up for this lost opportunity.
*
They get to Atlanta hours earlier than they need to. Phil is still recovering, but he’s slept for fourteen hours and really can’t sleep any longer. They have a communal lunch in the front half of the bus, extended out to make more room.
Phil has soup and Dan has a salad that Phil ate half of along with the last of his medicine. It makes Phil drowsy so he lays on one sofa with the top of his head resting just against Dan’s thigh. As Anna and Marianne duet along to Grease, no one notices Dan’s hand occasionally in Phil’s hair stroking softly.
*
Martyn joins them for Small Soldiers, on special invitation from Phil because Phil remembers how much Martyn used to watch it when they were younger.
Dan mostly sits back for this one, watches from the side with a wistful smile as Phil and Martyn quote lines along with the film.
*
Free Willy makes Dan cry twice. Phil mocks him mercilessly but kisses his temple and wipes his eyes, mixing love and tenderness in with every insult.
*
“What do you think Majinuni and Hafifu’s dad was up to while this was happening?” Dan asks. It’s four in the afternoon and the bus rolls along the road toward Louisville. They’re dressed in pajamas still, a pizza halfway to demolished between them.
It’s an unsatisfying pizza, the toppings all wrong resulting in a pile of disgusting pineapple pushed to one side of the box. They had the option of waiting for the pizza place to fix their order, but they were hungry and impatient and the less time off the bus the sooner they got the blessed reprieve of a hotel room.
“He would have been a kid, right?” Phil says. “A little gorilla prince swinging around the mountains himself.”
“Macking on all the girl gorillas.” Dan leers.
“Or maybe the boy ones.” Phil deadpans, still watching the movie. “We don’t know how Papa labels himself.”
Dan grins over at Phil. He grins and grins until Phil pokes him in the side, then he leans over and kisses Phil on the cheek, leaving a smudge of pizza grease behind.
*
Milo and Otis, Homeward Bound, Babe, and The Never Ending Story happen all in the course of one long road day.
They get to the hotel that night, tired and desperate for real showers. There’s a lazy dog sleeping in the entry way. Phil claims that he knew, that it was his psychic powers at work. He called it Movie Dog Day and the day ends with an actual dog.
Dan’s too busy patting the dog to argue.
*
Neither of them have seen Space Jam.
“Dan,” Phil whines. “It’s about sport. And not even sport that I know any of the rules to.”
“It’s cute that you think you know the rules to any of them.” Dan feeds the tape into the VCR. He’s got that post-show buzz, ready to unwind and try not to think about how there’s a crew packing up their set and show while Dan and Phil get to do the easy part then cut out. “Come on. It’ll be an adventure.”
He regrets his enthusiasm when Phil doesn’t stop singing the theme song for a week.
*
They turn The Secret Garden off halfway through.
“I don’t like this one very much,” Dan says.
Phil can guess why Dan doesn’t like it. He doesn’t push it, just lets Dan set it aside and put Home Alone on.
“Kanye’s favorite, right?” Phil reminds Dan, just to see him smile.
But a few days later Anna finds it in the pile and delights because it was her favorite film as a little girl. She rewinds the tape and puts it in the VCR and they watch it all the way through this time, Dan mostly on his phone but reassuringly pressed against Phil from shoulder to thigh He doesn’t complain. .
*
The day after Dan’s birthday is a drowsy affair, hungover in spirit of not actual physicality.
They watch the three-set of Star Wars tapes back to back.
Or at least, they try to.
“Do you think Luke ever wanked thinking about Leia before he knew she was his sister?”
“Shut up, Phil.”
“Or after?”
“Phil.”
“I wonder if Chewie ever had sex.”
“Phil!”
“Would that make whoever he had sex with a furry?”
“... Phil.”
“Or is it acceptable to be a furry in this part of the universe?”
“I can’t. I can’t. Stop.”
“Fine.”
Dan sighs in relief.
“Han Solo has a cute butt.”
“Phil-!”
“Not as cute as yours,” Phil quickly amends, knowing clearly where the boundary lies.
*
“I can’t believe we did it,” Dan says, staring down at the box of tapes.
They’ve just finished watching Ghostbusters as they packed up their bags and scoured the bus for any remaining items that might have slipped.
“That was a lot of movies.” Phil rests his chin on Dan’s shoulder, looking down. “A lot of hours.”
The moment settles melancholy between them. It’s likely the only quiet one they’ll have for a few more days, with Vidcon then finishing the book. They seemed set on enjoying it, until the heavy footsteps of their bodyguard ring out.
Dan bends down and opens the bottom drawer in the unit, letting Phil put the box back in. He stands back up and salutes it, then toes the drawer closed with a bit of pressure. He turns and looks at the VCR then pats it fondly. “May it serve well those who follow after us.”