Chapter Text
The world was glitching. Likely her fault.
Jack sat in his room. Not ready to get up.
His door opened. Of course it did. He isn’t asleep. He hasn’t gotten sleep. He won’t get it. It’s a foolish thing to believe he would’ve.
It’s probably her.
He doesn’t turn. Not yet. He knows he should. (He knows it like he knows he can’t have sleep. There’s still a feeling deep down, that maybe… but that’s not based on anything. It’s just hope. Pure hope.) and he can’t leave the jester waiting.
He turns with a smile (she hates his fake smile. So he tries to make a real one. Hoping she can’t tell.) “Heya-“
It’s nullble.
He tries not to sigh in relief. He fails.
“Do you know what’s been going on?”
“Huh?”
“The world” they say “it’s been glitching.” Oh yeah that.
“It’s probably her.” He shrugs. Not getting up.
“Yeah. Obviously.” They say “I thought you and her are friends-“
“Don’t-“ they had said it so naturally. As if Jack and her really were. “She didn’t tell me.” Jack says, because at the end of the day that’s what nullble had been asking. They didn’t care for hear about his complicated relationship with the jester.
“Okay.” They say. Bringing about the quiet.
“I’m going to sleep” Jack says aloud. As if that will make it actually happen.
And as he closes his eyes another glitch rings out. it’s loud. It shakes him. It hurts, but not much.
It glitches again.
And then the world changes.
The room is bright for one. They’re back in the main area of the circus. He’s standing up. Nullble is right next to him (shit. Jester has to be here right? She’s the one who teleported them. That means she’ll get her hands on nullble… he didn’t mean too-)
“You’re…” the words are quiet, and Jack looks at nullble, wanting to beg them not to speak.
Oh.
They look different.
High quality. All of their rough edges are smoothed out… and all of it looks… not low poly? He looks down at his own hand to see it similar, as if they’ve been upgraded.
The area around them is the same way. He can see the texture of the fabric on the couch next to them.
The world glitched. “What was that?!” Ragatha turned over to pomni, sitting on the couch next to her.
Pomni looked around “I don’t-… know” she says. “Maybe we should get Caine”
That would make sense. But it’s easier said than done. “Alright?”
Pomni stands up, so does she.
“Uhm… CAINE?!” Pomni then shouts “there isn’t an easier way to do this right?”
Ragatha shakes her head. And pomni mumbles something.
Pomni starts to walk, and ragatha wordlessly follows. Though she can’t help but wonder where she’s going. She doesn’t want to look dumb by asking.
Pomni then shouts again. And again. And again.
But still no Caine.
“Oh hey!” It’s gangle! “Have you guys seen Zooble? They’re not in their room” she’s smiling (good to know that Jax hasn’t broken her comedy mask yet.)
“I saw them a while ago” pomni spoke “they were going near the stage.”
…”with Jax?!” Ragatha definitely saw Jax hanging out by the stage before?
“Oh- I didn’t see him… but maybe?” Pomni shrugs.
“You don’t think…” knowing Zooble-
“Oh!!” Pomni catches on quickly. “Caine could be there too! How about we all go.” She then says.
Gangle nods, and they all walk down to the main area of the circus.
Up ahead… are Jax and Zooble….? Kinda? Ragatha squints her eyes. From afar Jax seems alright… though Zooble is grey? For some reason. They kinda look like how they did during the bar adventure. Maybe the glitch is messing with their avatars? Ragatha can’t help but wonder if Zooble was asking for it, even if they were it would probably just manage to (in Zoobles words.) [$%!#] them off even more. But at least Caine tries…. Right?… (no he doesn’t. He never listens to what they want. None of his solutions even come close to solving any of their problems, and he can never understand when they need comfort-)
Gangle stops in her tracks “you don’t think Caine did something?” She squeaks.
Pomni stops “I’m sure it’s… fine, we should go talk to them.”
“Right. Right.” Gangle takes a breath in and out. And they walk forward.
Jax IS different. A more vibrant purple. His arms are longer, his ears a little thicker at the top, and as he turns to face them his eyes and mouth seem to be animated differently? More similar to her mouth than what they normally look like… did Caine change them? Well of course he did. But why did he??
Jax taps Zooble, once then twice. They turn around (one of their eyes are bigger. The other is smaller and more pointed.)
“Are you guys okay?” Gangle is the first one to speak. She’s obviously talking to both of them but she’s looking right at Zooble.
Jax doesn’t look at her, his eyes linger on ragatha for a moment, before making their finale rest, set on pomni. He’s smiling. And he doesn’t say a word.
Zoobles also looking at pomni, straight up ignoring gangle. Then they look at ragatha. They look annoyed. Gangle frowns. And they wait for something to happen.
Jax relaxes “so. Why’s the whole gang here? This an intervention or something?” He looks very pointedly at pomni. For whatever reason. (What’s he trying to say about her?)
Either way it can’t be good “Jax…” ragatha groans “we’re just trying to figure out what’s going on. The whole world was glitching!”
For a moment Jax’s face turns to confusion, but he just looks at pomni again “well I don’t know!” He grins, looking at pomni again “I don’t know-“ he repeats, a little faster, his mouth moves for a second too long, like he’s trying to think of something else to say, but nothing comes out. It seems he can’t have an insult for everything.
“Are you okay?” Pomni asks.
Jax’s eyes widen for a moment, before closing, he smiles wider, leaning back “always!” (Zooble takes a step back.)
They’re both acting weird. Why are they acting so weird???
“I HEARD MY NAME?!!!” Oh thank god caines here!
“We were doing that like 5 minutes ago?” Ragatha lets out a small laugh. She’s relieved for a moment. Maybe finally someone can tell them what’s going on.
“C-Caine?!” Zooble sounds shocked. Looking over both them and Jax have wide eyes, their gaze completely off of pomni for once.
“THAT IS MY NAME YES!!!!…. Why are you grey?” Oh. So Caine is no help.
“What the fuck man-?! W-where-?! How-?!” Zooble speaks.
Zooble….
“You’re-… not censored?” Gangles the first one to point it out (though everyone noticed.)
Now both of them are looking at her like she’s crazy. But their gaze goes back to Caine.
“That’s no good!” He says “what went wrong?” He sinks to the floor, and then taps his foot, looking down at his wrist, there’s a watch on it. He’s fumbling with it. Clicking on things intensely. Ragatha tries to lean over to see what he’s tapping on, but it looks like nonsense to her.
A cartoonish ding sound effect plays, and Caine lifts up his finger, as if he found the answer. They all wait for a moment.
And a moment more.
“IT SEEMS AS IF OUR FRIENDS DID A SWAPEROO!!!”
…?
“That means…?” Gangle asks.
“SO GLAD YOU ASKED GANGLE!!!” Caine flys up in the air “IT MEANS OUR JAX AND ZOOBLE WERE SWAPPED WITH THIS ONE!!!” He points at them.
Wh-what??? “There’s more than one?” Ragatha says “I don’t- what does that mean though????! Caine???”
“Zooble?” Zooble mumbles.
“You see the circus has many different forms! To be able to test the best performance sometimes alternate versions of the circus are made!!! The one they come from is exactly the same, but at a lower poly count, so to try see if that will improve workload, and allow a bigger file size for ADVENTURES!!”
That’s… so messed up. There’s more of them. More then one ragatha, trapped here. Her torment is tenfold. Trapping so many people in this place. (And the others. Of course the others.)
“So…” pomni says “you made… npcs of us? To put in another circus?”
“No!!!” He then says. “Every circus is an exact copy of this one!!! Meaning your mind files are copied exactly! So their files are still human, unless you’d say YOURE an npc, then I guess they are.”
“Wait-“ pomni speaks “mind files?”
Of course.
Ragatha knew. They were clones. They always have been. She just didn’t want it to be true- to think of herself. Still in the real world. Moving on without her.
“NOW THATS NOT- ITS NOT BAD! Most of these worlds are the exact same anyways! Though none of them are connected, that would make for a MUCH too large game!!!” Caine laughs “so that’s to say that I specifically don’t have control over their world, their version of me does!!!”
“Okay.” Gangle says “so… why… are they… here?”
“Good question like always gangle!!! My wacky watch tells me that besides from the designs, their world had an accuracy measure of 98%! Meaning they were doing and saying the exact same thing as this circus! But it seems a month ago that dropped, to a low 57%! Perhaps the sudden change caused the world to glitch! I’ll have to look into it.”
“So… what happened to your world’s version of us?” Zooble then speaks up.
“I can’t see from here, but I would assume they’re in YOUR world!!”
Both Zoobles and Jax’s eyes widen… but they don’t say anything.
“We should get them back” gangle then says “right? Obviously?”
“YES OF COURSE WE WILL! You’ll just need to give me some time!” Caine taps his watch. Then disappears.
“Oh.” Gangle says. Frowning.
“Well” ragatha puts on a smile. Facing Jax and Zooble, who are still staring where Caine once was. “Welcome to our circus! I- I guess!”
They look at her.
Zoobles face doesn’t change, but Jax smiles.
“You’re too kind Annie” he rolls his eyes. “Anyways I’m going to sleep. Don’t bother me.” He puts on a light joking tone, closing his eyes and putting his arms confidently behind his back… wait Annie? Why…? Is that her name? She doesn’t think it’s her real one? Would this Jax know? How would he know???
“Wait-“ it’s pomni, like she took the words from ragathas mouth,
Jax stops immediately. Putting his hands down, but not turning to face them.
“Why did you call ragatha Annie?”
Jax turns around, smiling too wide. “Oh whoops!” He says “it’s Annie in my world”
“Oh… maybe that’s what Caine meant by 98%” gangle mumbles.
“We should introduce ourselves!!” Ragatha takes the lead again “I’m ragatha!”
Jax laughs “that’s such a dumb name!” He looks at pomni very clearly, trying to see for a reaction.
Pomni seems annoyed, only playfully so… ugh… why can’t she see that he’s a jerk! “I’m pomni!”
Jax stops laughing immediately. Face in a blank smile.
“Gangle! Uhm… I’m gangle I guess” gangle shrugs.
…
“Oh. I’m nullble” zooble… nullble says??? Really? That’s their name??
“Jack.” Or… was it Jax? Maybe he said said it weird.
“Jack?” She asks.
“Yeah.” Then he laughs “is it Jacks in this world? I thought you were just stupid and couldn’t say my name”
“Jax- er-“ ragatha groaned “Jack!!!” She says annoyed. Jax, or Jack she guesses, is looking at pomni like she’s a fourth wall, gesturing to her with every joke, almost putting on a show for her.
“Jack, don’t be so hard, Ragatha didn’t know.” Pomni then says, thank god. Defending her. (Does pomni like her? She can never tell. Sometimes she laughs along to his cruel jokes. Sometimes she stands up for ragatha. Pomni never laughs at anything too bad but still… she can’t help but wonder.)
Jack smile falls immediately “sorry.” Oh. That was easy. Maybe pomni was right. And Jack didn’t really mean it to be that rude… how is she supposed to know anyways? Everything he normally says is rude.
“I’m leaving” nullble says, already walking off.
“Wait zoo- I mean nullble! Can we draw for a bit? I was going to with my Zooble-… but uh.. I mean-“
Nullble doesn’t turn around, they don’t even stop walking.
“Nullble?” Her voice is quiet.
“I don’t care.” They say. A bit flat (ragatha can’t help but feel bad for gangle, though she’s sure they don’t mean it.) and luckily it seems like gangle brushes it off easily too (though… it just seems that way. There’s no way to know for sure if gangles just hiding it. It’s not like she’d tell ragatha if she was.)
Gangle follows them, taking it as a yes.
“I’m leaving too” Jack then says.
“Oh?” Pomni says “I was hoping we could talk more about your world? I kinda wanted to know if there was any more differences.”
Jax tenses “nah- I mean- I was just” he points uselessly at nullble and gangle, eyes darting back to them (they continue to walk away.) and then to pomni. He closes his eyes. Then smiles and says lazily “sure I don’t care.” The words echo nullbles. Ragatha noticed it immediately. And Jack takes a step closer. Going to ragathas side, making her in the middle of him and pomni “Where did you want to go?”
“Oh- uhhh how about to the couches? I guess” she shrugs, it seems the most logical, honestly ragathas not even sure why Jack had to ask. They walk there, and sit down, with Jax again sitting on the side furthest from pomni. Which seemed redundant if they were trying to talk with her (though ragathas here too she wouldn’t dare try to think Jack was trying to include her. Caine said everything was the same up until one month ago. In the grand scheme of things that wasn’t very long ago. That was… maybe after the softball adventure?… maybe? So why would anything change in their relationship. Not much has changed in a month here.)
Jack waits.
“So… ragathas Annie huh? What about me? I didn’t stick with XDDCC did I?”
Jack blinks. Maybe not getting the reference. “Nah you picked something cooler.” He then said “jester.”
“Oh.” Pomni says “pretty on the nose huh!” She laughs.
Jack laughs too, the moment she stops laughing he does too… ragatha didn’t think it was that funny… but… as long as they’re having fun…
“What about the others?” Pomni then asks. “What are kingers and gangles name- OH SHOOT KINGER! He’s still in his pillow fort!”
“I’ll tell him later” ragatha says quickly, just to make herself useful.
“Gangle is jangle.” Jack then said.
“So not too different either.”
Jack nods. “And kinger I assume is crowner?” He says “sorry I haven’t seen him yet.”
“Yeah, no worries. I mean-” pomni smiles, somewhat awkwardly “I wouldn’t expect you to know anything for certain here, you’re new!… kinda”
Jack just nods.
Awkward.
“Actually-“ ragatha says “I think I’ll tell kinger now?” She stands up (she can’t be here. Not sitting in between them not saying a word. Seeing Jax (sorry. Jack) try to impress pomni, doing everything for her. While pomni effortlessly gets his attention. And he effortlessly gets hers. Why did pomni like him so much? What was it ragatha had lacked?)
“HEY-!” Jax says, reaching out “shouldn’t-… I want to meet kinger too, I don’t want you having all the fun” his voice returned to the laid back (he’s looking at pomni. Never looking at ragatha.)
“Oh. Okay” she says. Taking a step back, waiting for Jax to stand up… but he doesn’t.
He’s still looking at her.
“Yeah that sounds good?” Pomni then says “I guess I can go too??” (What is Jax even doing? Why is he waiting for pomnis response on everything… he doesn’t… have a crush on her or something? Right…? Is that the thing that changed from their world to their own?!)
“Actually if you two just want to check on kinger, I think I left something in my room… that I need to do” she had wanted to get away from them anyways, it’s not like they’d miss her
Jacks eyes widen “oh- you need help with that?” Asked so genuinely, it’s weird.
“Uhm- I don’t-“
“Don’t you need help with it” Jack repeats, smile a little wider, foot tapping. Clearly he wants ragatha to say yes, but she’s not sure why (no no! C’mon ragatha! She told them she’d leave them alone for THEM! Not for herself. So if Jack wants her to say yes she should do it!)
“Yeah, help would be… nice?” She’s a horrible actor… that’s not true.
“Ughhhh” Jax groans “so sorry Pomni!! I gotta help Ann- ragatha- sorry- you’re gonna have to tell crazy without me“ he laughs a bit, already walking away as he talks, and having turned around by the time he’s done, not even waiting for ragatha to start walking (does he even know where her room is? Is it the same in the other circus?)
“What was that about?” Pomni asks.
She… doesn’t know? She just shrugs. And decides it’s best to follow him. In case he gets lost.
Jack seems to be going in the right direction. Which is good!… but still weird. She wants to say something! She really does! But at the end of the day this is still Jax. What is she meant to say (maybe it really is the crush thing? Maybe he got so flustered he didn’t want to be alone with pomni. That’d be cute! It would explain why he’s been shoving ragatha between them.)
“Don’t- you have to be more believable next time” Jack hisses “where did nullble go?”
“Uh- probably their room…? Or gangles room.”
Jack takes a deep breath in then out “…okay.” He continues to walk. Not even looking at his own door.
Weird.
Jack knocked on nullbles door first. It took a moment to find. They have the same eyes, mostly, the same triangle head. But it’s so colorful on the plaque. This whole circus looked weird. Jesters less creepy, her teeth less sharp. Annie taller, her mouth actually moves? And gangle sharper, reflective, as if she was actually made of glass.)
But no answer. That means their in jangles room, or gangle… he guesses. (Unless they…)
They WERE hanging out with gangle right? What if she said something- did something-
Jack looks to gangles door. Then back to nullble. (What if they’re in there.)
His hands dart down to the knob, and it’s locked.
(Fuck. Fuck they’re in there- right now aren’t they. He’s not dumb he knows what happened. He knows jangle said something, blamed them. He knows what they tried because of it.) Jack shakes the doorknob a bit more. Just open- (she told him. Jester. All the details. What they done when they saw the rope. How they squirmed and gasped for air- Jack used to have a key to their room before she took it away.) Jack shakes the door, trying to open it. It has to open eventually right??
There’s no reason for it to work this time? Is there? He shakes the door? He should get Annie-? Or-… someone. Caine. Fuck. Caines here now?
“CAINE?!” He yells. Where is he??? “CAINE?!”
“MMMHMM YEP!” Thank god. A smile goes on his face.
“Open the door, please”
“You got it!” Caine snaps his fingers and-…. It’s empty.
“Where’s- where’s nullble?”
Caine cartoonishly scratches his chin “OH they’re in gangles room!!!” Oh. That’s… that could go either way.
“Thanks Caine-“ he… he wants to say more. He needs to doesn’t he? They all miss him. They all want him back more than anything (except for her of course. It was her fault he was gone. Not nullbles- it was HER fault.)
“GLAD I COULD HELP!”
“Caine-“ he says again “thank you- really I- thank you.”
“I know!!! I’m so good at opening doors! I should do it more often!!!” What a joy to be around. “bye.”
Then he disappears.
Gangles room… huh. It’s fine. It’s probably fine.
He goes to her door. And knocks.
Nullble opens it.
“Jack”
“Hey.” He says “crowners distracting her”
They nod “makes sense.”
“Uhhh… what?” Gangle is behind them.
“Kinger” he then said “I think that’s what you guys call him.”
“Oh! Yeah kinger!!” Gangle smiles. It all seems nice. Like how jangle was before… kinda…
“We were finishing up drawing.” Nullble said “we were just putting everything away.” So… he can stay with them… maybe… hopefully. He can’t ask in front of gangle though. She’ll get pissed about it.
“Okay” he says “just checking, I’ll be out here”
“You can come in” gangle then says (that’s a bad idea. A fight waiting to happen.)
“No.” Nullble says “I’ll be a sec.”
“Oh… okay” gangle says “thanks.” She’s thanking them?? Maybe?? He’s confused. He doesn’t really care he’s tired.
They pick up a few pencils and papers.
“See you later nullble!” Gangle smiles, and waves at them as they leave.
The door shuts behind them.
“How was it?” Jack asks.
“Fine.” Nullble says “you never know with her. Today was fine. You?”
“Yeah.” Jack sighs “same… well- I messed up. I think-… can I go in your room”
Nullble nods. Opening their door.
He quickly goes in (their room is colorful. Very colorful.) “woah.” He can’t stop it from leaving his mouth.
“Yeah.” They say “weird.” They don’t seem as awestruck as he. They just walk forward lying on their bed.
“She’ll look for me in my room” (she always does.)
Nullble shrugs “perks of being favorite.”
“…so can…”
“Yeah yeah” they say dismissively “but if she comes in here I’m handing you over.” That seems fair. He nods. “I’m joking. I wouldn’t- well- it doesn’t matter. Let’s not think about that.”
Oh.
Jack sits next to them. “I’m going to sleep.”
“Not going to tell me how you messed up? I think I should know.” That’s also fair. If he’s using their room as a hideout…
“Annie was trying to leave us alone together. So I… said I was going to join her instead. I tried to make it seem like she needed help, but…” he groans “it was bad.”
“That doesn’t sound too bad.” They say “she likes you anyways. Not like she’ll rip you apart just for that.”
“she doesn’t like me” he’s sick. He’s sick of this. He’s sick of doing the jesters bidding, of ‘joining’ the bad team. Everyone knows jester makes him do it. Hes even heard jangle say that, and she loves to make everyone else the bad guy. Everyone knows. So why do they act like his special treatment gives him plot armor “all it has ever meant is that she has more eyes on me.”
“…fuck man.” They say. “I’m sorry.” They look away “This whole thing is my fault. If I hadn’t antagonized Caine so much- she’d never-“
“No. It’s her fault.” It was. It was all her fault.
They don’t say anything. They don’t need too. They have each other. There’s a reason he’s been hanging out with them more and more. Even just in the same room. Not talking. They’re the only normal one left. Even Annie acts… a little odd sometimes… (they all do). He doesn’t know. Annie still hates him from before. He can barely remember before. How weird is that.
“I’m going to sleep.” He says “can-“ the words cut out. No. It’s not a question “yeah.” He says instead. Lying down on their bed (jester wouldn’t want him to ask nullble. That’s not a very in character thing for him to do… and he’s too tired.)
Nullble doesn’t seem to mind. And he’s thanks them in his head, they lay down next to him. And he can’t help but scoot in closer. He’s so tired. He just wants to sleep.
.
.
.
KNOCK KNOCK.
Damnit.
He had done it. Hadn’t he? Slept. He almost didn’t want to wake up… no he didn’t. He didn’t want to wake up.
But he did anyways. His body forced him too and he tried to force it back (but he doesn’t have control over that. He never has control anymore.) he’s back. In a colorful room he’s never seen before. Out of one hellish circus and into the next (at least Caine was in this one… maybe waking up isn’t so bad.)
KNOCK KNOCK.
They lay there.
The door opens. And Jack disagrees. He wants to die.
Oh.
Nevermind. It’s just Annie (ragatha. He’s so bad at these new names-)
“Sorry!! Sorry!!! Uh- oh! I guess I’ll tell pomni to stop looking for you” ragatha mumbles (he tenses. Because he knows she’s talking about him. Of course she is.) “foods ready.”
Food.
He’s up. And so is nullble. They haven’t- food has been so scarce. Jester made them hungry. She programmed it. They have to eat. But there was-…
Caine used to make them dinners (bubble did. Right? Was there a difference?) a large feast that Jack can barely remember. And he’s already walking out the room.
“Thanks ragatha.” He says.
“Oh-!!! Of course!!!” She smiles. She seems so happy. (It was so hard to tell in the other world. She couldn’t frown there. In this one she can. And she’s still smiling. He hopes that’s a good thing.)
They make their way to the hall. And see a table. Long, filled to the brim with food. Nullbles walking faster then him, taking the spot next to gangle, while ragatha walks a bit ahead.
He hasn’t seen this table in forever (a month. Had Caine said it’s only been a month since everything went down. It felt like longer. It felt like years.)
There was every food jack could imagine. Low poly but all still appetizing. They smelled too, heat bounced off of them and he could smell the chicken and Mac and cheese, the mashed potatoes, and fried vegetables. His mouth would’ve watered if it had the ability too.
But there’s only one seat left.
Next to pomni.
.
He can’t ask for a seat swap. Not after what he did before. So he sits down. Next to her.
Pomni is picking out her food, putting it on her plate. But the moment he sits she notices him.
Ragatha is doing a similar thing. As well as gangle who has begun eating.
Nullble has a pile of food on their plate, they’re shoveling it towards their mouth, downing everything as quick as possible. (Pomni isn’t looking at them. She’s looking at him. ‘Perks’ of being favorite.)
Everyone’s began eating now. Even pomni takes a fry to her mouth and eats it.
He lifts a hand up slightly, she glances at him. He puts it down. Food everywhere. And his plate still sits in front of him. Empty.
(He’s not allowed to eat when they have their ‘dinners.’ Jester always made that clear. She’d set out a plate for him, with bread and rice and whatever else, she loved to fill his plate to the brim, overstuffing it, having it almost overflowing. But she’d always tell him it was for show. She was allowed to eat. Not him, sometimes she’d sit on the table and take food from his plate, slowly eating it, savoring every bite. There was once. He was so hungry he couldn’t help himself. He ate everything, there was not a single grain of rice left on his plate. It had been too much too quickly, and he had vomited immediately. ’that’s why i tell you when to eat.‘ jester had said ’you can’t control yourself’. And she was right.)
If Jack ate now he’d eat too much. And lose it all immediately. He can’t risk that. Jester knows that (pomni. Shit, pomnis her name here.) she’s still watching him.
He has to grab something though? He can’t-
He takes a chunk of chicken. Trying not to smell it (he can control himself. He’s so good. He’s normally good on their dinners. Sometimes he doesn’t even look at the food. Ignoring his stomachs protests. It’s not like they’ll actually die of starvation. They can’t. And if they do they come back.)
He grabs some pasta. His favorite. It’s been so long since he had some.
Pomni looks at him, eyebrows raised, judgement is in her eyes.
It’s… it’s fine.
A small chunk of chicken with one scoop of pasta.
He put his hand down. And stared at it. Best not to push his luck.
Everyone ate around him.
He stared at his food.
“I’m going to my room.” He the said.
“Oh- okay!” Pomni said “uhh have fun?”
That’s good? Right? That’s permission. He takes his plate with him and darts off.
He locks the door the moment he’s in his room, plate still in hand. Maybe- maybe he can eat half of it? Hide the rest of it just in case (but there was already so little.)
He’s not… it hurts. It hurts so badly. But it’s not killing him. It’s fine. He puts the plate in a drawer of his desk. For later. For when food becomes scarce. He doesn’t need to eat it now. Jester was wrong. He can control himself. He’s great at it. He’s always been great at it. He can wait. He doesn’t need to eat it now.
His stomach growls, giving him a sharp pain. (Why would she make it hurt so much. Caine never programmed hunger. Why would she?… he supposes it makes sense. If they can curse they’re still going but their circus’s rules. Not this one… maybe he should get Caine again? (But what if pomni notices. Would she get rid of him again?))
Tears form in jacks eyes.
He just wants to eat. Why does everyone else get to eat (‘perks’ of being favorite.) that’s funny. It’s funny, it’s funny. He’s laughing. He thinks he is anyways. It’s a good joke.
The tears feel wet, and they hadn’t before, in the other circus. That’s new.
He still smelt the food in the drawer.
He should’ve grabbed more. He’s dumb. Going back out there and grabbing more is more suspicious than just grabbing a lot in the first place. (But pomni wasn’t looking at anyone else. Perks, huh.) it’s for the better anyways he only grabbed a little. If he had grabbed more he wouldn’t be able to control himself. hes still laughing. He can’t stop. It’s laughing. If she comes in here and asks that’s all that is. It’s laughing.
He wipes his face and it doesn’t do anything. And his stomach screams at him, and he’s going to vomit from the smell alone. But he can’t, because there’s nothing in him. He feels so light headed.
But he can’t. He can’t waste the small amount of food he has. Who’s to say Caine will live to see tomorrow, and even if he does who’s to say he’ll remain. Disappeared. Dead. Is there a difference? He didn’t know.) caines name is on the tip of his tongue but the word ‘perks’ echo in his mind. Because pomnis watching him, she always is. And if he clings to Caine she’ll do it again. Kill him. Or lock him up, or delete him, or whatever had happened to Caine.
But he needs it. It’s not fair.
He’s laughing louder. So hard it sounds like screaming. He doesn’t mean too but it’s just laughing. So she can’t get mad at him right.
He grabs a pillow and shoves his face into it. Laughing harder. It muffles it enough.
His door opens. He can’t stop laughing.
“Jack.” It’s nullble. “Don’t suffocate yourself.” They come in, and close the door.
they seem fine. Even after shoveling all that food they’re still fine. Can they even throw up? If they don’t have a mouth. They must be lucky.
The laughing stops. As does the screaming. His face is still wet.
“Thanks” he says deadpan “I’ll be wary of all pillows now.”
“Can it” they sound happy, playfully rolling their eyes “that’s barely a joke.”
He tried at least. He tried. But he’s… so tired. He can’t even think of a reply.
“Are you okay?” They ask. They sound louder than they normally are. More like how they used to be.
Jack wasn’t. Obviously. But he doesn’t say anything. What could he say?
“The food was nice.” Way to rub it in his face. “Wasn’t it? I haven’t felt full in forever.” Oh. They didn’t know…
“I didn’t eat anything” he sighs.
“Shit? Why? It’s not like… poisoned or something?”
He shakes his head. He didn’t think so. This was caines creation, not hers. And Caine wasn’t needlessly cruel. He had just wanted to make good adventures.
“I mean- you gotta be hungry right? At least a little.”
A little was an understatement.
He shakes his head, but it’s sending off the wrong message. So he just shakes it harder “I can’t- I just can’t eat. Not without someone- someone-“ he groans. This is so dumb.
“Are you hungry?”
He nods feverishly.
“I took back some. I hid it in my room” seems nullble had the same idea as him. Smart. “I’ll give you some.”
“Not too much-“ he says quickly “I’ll throw up.”
“Oh. Okay” they get up. And leave his room.
He waits. (What if pomni finds them before they can return. Then he’s stuck here. With the promise of food to never come.) he taps his foot impatiently. It hurts it all hurts too much.
The door opens.
Nullble. With a plate of food.
Allowing him to eat it.
Fuck it. He doesn’t even look at it, he doesn’t even use whatever utensils they had, if they even brought them in the first place. He grabs the plate and brings it up to his mouth, eating everything on it as fast as he can. It’s all gone too soon, and he wants more. But he cant. Because this is all he’s allowed.
A moment passed and his breathing is loud, harsh, as if he had ran a marathon. After a minute the food settles. And his stomach no longer hurts.
“Huh.” He hasn’t felt this in a long time (he had once with her before. One time she had allowed him to eat. The perfect amount. Just enough to feel pleasantly full. ‘This is why I control the food’ she always says it like she’s doing him a favor.) “that’s good” he then says “thanks-“
“Yeah.” They say. “Anytime.”
“You think it’s safe to sleep in my room? They already saw us in your room.”
“I haven’t thought about it.” They said. “It should be safe now right? Because caines here?”
“As long as he STAYS here.”
They sigh. “We need to kill pomni.”
Jack laughs. An actual laugh this time “yeah, the old piano on the head trick should work.”
“I’m serious.”
…? “What?? You think we’re somehow going to find the one method that kills people? Pretty sure we’re way past the ‘not staying dead’ part of this world” if they can die depends on what you count as dying, but they come back. Always. Death is no escape. It’s not even an option.
“It’s caines world. They can abstract.” Nullble says.
Not them though. Nullble and Jack can’t abstract. They’re going by their own circus’s logic… but… yeah. Pomni could “w-wait- we’re not-! I mean. We can’t FORCE her to abstract. I don’t even think it’s possible?” They probably could. But…
“We have to try.”
“I can’t- I can’t- be the one to do it.” He says. “I’m not” simple as that. He can’t.
“I’m not saying you have too.” They say “I just-…. Want help. If it seems like it has to go that way.”
That… seemed fair enough “okay. I can help. But I won’t be the one to do it.”
They nod.
“I need sleep.” He says.
“It should be safe here.” They say. He doesn’t know how much he believes it. But he doesn’t care. He’s tired. And nullble telling that is enough to give him hope that it’s safe enough.
He crawls into bed, and they join him.