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“Don’t wander off too far!”.
Tom Wachowski calls out as he watched the forms of his three adopted extraterrestrial children leave down the nearest aisle of the Green Hills local grocery store. Sonic was, of course, leading the charge with the promise of finding where the candy aisle was, with Tails and Knuckles dutifully trailing behind him engaged in conversation about what sweets they’d pick out for themselves.
Tom mentally made peace with the fact that he’d probably end up at checkout buying them all some sort of snack. Maybe he could convince them to just settle for getting ice cream later, he thought absentmindedly, as Sonic shouted back a loose affirmative while doing a quick salute before the three disappeared into one of the stores many aisles.
Tom shook his head fondly, and moved on to his own objective. It should make for a quick and easy errand. He was here for a very specific item.
He peered at the signs hanging from the ceiling that listed the aisle numbers and the summary of the items they would have, and soon found himself turning down aisle nine. He scoured the aisle, moving past bags of familiar dog food, cat litter, and crinkly pet toys, before finally he reached the middle of the aisle. Tom began to scan the shelves in front of him and his eyes landed on the item he needed, the last one of its kind on the shelf.
A pet fur remover tool.
After he and Maddie has taken in Sonic as part of their family, finding quills around the house had become very commonplace. A minor annoyance when one got lodged in one’s skin or clothes, but nothing too extreme that a pair of tweezers couldn’t solve. However, that was of course before they’d gone an added two more similarly fluffy creatures to their household, and soon their decor had become more fur than furniture. With the three boys and Ozzy combined it was becoming a bit of a dire situation, thus a trip to the store to find the best solution they could. The product had good reviews from pet owners- and while Maddie and Tom actively avoided comparing the boys to pets, intergalactic aliens shedding was just as much as issue as the tool was made for.
Tom sighed in relief, hand extending outwards to grab the fur removal tool, when someone else’s hand beat him to it, snatching up the item just a second before he could.
“Oh!-“.
“Sorry-“.
Tom turned to look at the other person as they both spoke at the same time, voices overlapping with apologetic tones.
The man looked to be around Tom’s age, maybe a few years older, wearing a cozy looking and very obviously fur covered cream sweater.
The man looked down at Tom’s own jeans, that were similarly littered with multi-colored strands of fur.
“I can see that we both desperately need this”. The other man jokes, smiling awkwardly, eyes crinkling at the corners as he did so. There was a certain stiffness about him, and Tom would be able to tell immediately that he was from out of town even if it wasn’t his literal job to know every citizen in Green Hills.
Tom laughs, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah. We’re in the same boat. You uh, got a lot of pets?”.
The man grimaced, eyebrows furrowed as he immediately frowned. “Uh, no. Not exactly. Just…”. He trails off before he can properly answer, and instead questions right back. “You?”.
Tom floundered for a bit, shaking his head. “Mm, no. I mean just one dog but-”. He wondered how to even begin to explain his situation to someone who hadn’t been here for the past two years to witness the causal integration of three aliens into a small sleepy town, when a high pitched voice echoed down the aisle saving from having to sum up how the world nearly ended but was saved by a hedgehog, fox, and echidna from another planet.
“Dave!”. A very squeaky voice shouted and the man- who was apparently named Dave- immediately turned around with a weary but fond sigh.
Tom watched with minor disbelief as a small chipmunk scampered down the aisle and right over to Dave, clambering up his pants and settling onto his shoulder with a well practiced ease. Dave doesn’t even flinch, a resigned smile stretched across his face, obvious that he’s been through this a hundred times. “Dave!”. The chipmunk repeats, tone whiny and drawn out. It’s doned in a bright red hoodie with the letter ‘A’ stitched on the front, and its voice is near irritatingly high pitched. “I’m losing my mind, can we hurry this up! It’s bad enough we had to stop in this tiny town in the first place”.
Dave just chuckled, shoulders loosely jostling enough that the chipmunk holds onto the collar of Dave’s cardigan to avoid stumbling. “You know, if I recall correctly, you used to love road trips.
The chipmunks ear twitched, the right one seemed to be chipped, a little notch nicked through it that implied some sort of incident. “Dad, that was touring and that was forever ago! I forgot how boring this part can be. If we keep moving this slow we’re gonna miss the entire music festival!”. The chipmunk complained, before it seemed to belatedly noticed Tom standing a few feet away. “Who’s that?”.
“We-“. Dave had barely opened his mouth to respond when a shout came again but this time from the other end of the aisle.
“Dad! Help he’s gone rabid! Again!”. And the tale-tell bright blue flash of Sonic’s super speed lit up the aisle for just a moment before he appeared right by Tom’s side, using the man as a makeshift human shield. Knuckles was hot on his trail behind him, and the two circled around Tom, Knuckles chasing the hedgehog with vigorous dedication.
“He rammed the cart of shopping into my vulnerable ankles!”.
“It was an accident!”.
”It occurred more than once!”.
”Well, the first time was an accident, the second was fully on purpose”.
Knuckles lunged for him again and Tom pinched his nose in aggravation. “Boys, we don’t even need a shopping cart. This is barely an errand. Can you please not”. He reached his hand out to nab Sonic by the shoulders, hardly wincing at the feeling of a few quills jabbing his palms. He’d gotten all too used to the feeling by this point. “And where’s your brother?”.
He barely gets to ask the question, before Tails emerged from around the corner, trotting down the aisle pushing a shopping cart full of junk food, barely even able to see over the carts handle.
“Those are your… sons?”.
Dave’s voice suddenly came from behind Tom, reminding the sheriff that he in fact had an audience to the circus that was his family. Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles were debating which of the shacks in the overflowing cart to actually attempt to convince Tom to buy for them. Dave and the chipmunk perched on his shoulder were watching the scene with an eerily similar bemused interest.
Then suddenly, two more chipmunks came skittering down the aisle, both chittering to each other clearly in the midst of a conversation. They both easily made their way up Dave’s side, settling on his other unoccupied shoulder, similarly in matching green and blue sweaters, and began a rambling high pitched conversation with the other chipmunk in red. Dave again, barely flinched at the movement, tuning out the squeaky voices with ease, seeming entirely unfazed by their antics.
“Yep”. Tom hesitated for just a moment before he slowly nodded. His eyes darted to the chipmunks and it was then that everything fully clicked. “And I take it that these are…your sons?”.
Dave nodded sagely, and the two men simply stood for a second sharing an understanding gaze that only could be understood by someone equally in the same bizarre situation. It was almost like looking in a mirror.
“Chipmunks?”. Tom asked, with raised eyebrows.
Dave nodded, then tilted his head and asked. “..Aliens?”.
Tom nodded with a light acquiescing shrug.
There was a stretch of the two men staring at each other, not silent as it was filled by the sound of the two groups of kids loudly talking, before Tom sighed with a smile. “Well, it sounds like y’all are just passing through our town, and I’m sure they’ll restock it for us later at some point”. He waved an arm towards the fur remover tool. “Go ahead and take it”.
Dave blinked, obviously a bit surprised at the generosity. “Are you sure? You really don’t have to-“.
The chipmunk in red on his shoulder cut him off, interjecting into the conversation. “Dave, just let him be nice. You’ve been complaining about your sweaters being more fur than fabric this entire trip!”.
Dave sighed, clearly a familiar expression for him. “Alvin-“.
”What?”. Alvin let out a high pitched giggle, pointedly eyeing Dave up and down. Caramel and brown strands of fur stood starkly against his black pants. “You clearly need it”.
”And whose fault would that be?”.
Alvin averted his eyes, ear twitching with a flicker of guilt as he shrugged. “Uhh… Simon and Theodore’s?”.
The other two chipmunks perked up at the mention of their names, whirling around to face their brother with affronted expressions. “Hey!”. And a reedy back and forth sparked up across Dave’s shoulders one more.
Dave sighed again.
Tom couldn’t help but laugh. “The joys of raising three boys, huh?”.
Dave shook his head fondly. “It has its ups and down”.
”Hey, at least yours aren’t being actively monitored by the government”.
Dave winced. “No. Just being actively traveling popstars who are currently on the no-fly list”.
The trio of chipmunks were pulled from their arguing at Dave’s words.
One of them, the one in the blue sweater and a tiny pair of glasses winced. “Yeah, that’s a valid critique”. Whilst Alvin at the same time exclaimed: “That was not our fault!”.
The shorter chipmunk in green hummed with a tone full of doubt. “Well, technically Simon’s not all the way wrong”. Which set of another argument between them.
Dave sighed again.
-
“Those guys were weird. So tiny! Like living with an action figure”. Sonic moved his hands trying to form his hands in a loose approximation of the chipmunks height.
“They were kinda adorable”. Tail’s tilted his head.
”You’re adorable”.
”We are all adorable!”. Knuckles declared and Tom chuckled.
”I can vouch for that. Anyways, let’s move. We might as well do something nice regular grocery shopping while we’re here”.
-
“Why was that hedgehog looking thing bright blue? Do you think it was radioactive?”. Alvin asked, from his spot standing on Dave’s right shoulder as they watched the other family walk down the aisle and leave off into another part of the store.
“Okay, scientifically speaking, there’s no way that was a hedgehog. It was an extraterrestrial creature who just happens to bear resemblance to hedgehogs from Earth”. Simon rambled.
“Okay, brainiac”. There was an eyeroll.
”They seemed nice!”. Theodore smiled.
“You think everyone seems nice, Theodore”. Dave says, overly fond. He gestures to the fur removal tool in his hand. “C’mon, let’s grab a few more things and get back on the road”.
-
Sonic was tapping his foot impatiently leaning against the cart as Knuckles stared deliberately at the packages in his hands, debating intensely between which to choose.
”Ugh, you’re taking forever! They’re the same thing!”.
Knuckles scoffed. “One is clearly designated high protein against the one that is declaring to be the low of fats!”. He squinted at the cardboard again. “The choice is of very high importance”.
”It’s cereal!”. Sonic threw his hands up in disbelief. Knuckles ignored his theatrics, flipping the boxes around to scan the list of ingredients for both, and before Sonic could start complaining again, a voice piped up from beside him. He glanced around, before the voice cleared its throat loud and pointedly, and Sonic’s ear twitched before he finally looked down.
The chipmunk from earlier was stood by his shoes, a phone in its hands, and looking impatient. “Finally!”.
It moved then, scampering up the metal wire of the grocery cart and performing a series of intricate jumps and clambering that led it to landing on the shelf that was at Sonic’s eye level.
”Oh, you’re the chipmunk from earlier!”. Sonic recognized the red hoodie with a bright yellow letter A on the front. The chipmunk scowled.
“Woah, woah, woah!”. The chipmunk started in its high pitched squeaky voice. It was only a little grating on Sonic’s sensitive ears. “I’m not just some chipmunk. The name’s Alvin. Alvin Seville. Lead singer of The Chipmunks…”. He paused his spiel at Sonic’s blank stare. “You’ve seriously never heard of us?”.
Sonic just shrugged and Alvin scoffed, ear flicking with annoyance. “Okay, not great for the old ego, but whatever…”. He shook his head, holding up the cellphone he had with him, the device looking comically oversized in his tiny paws. “Look, my dad is super awkward and bad at talking to people and making friends…”. He paused. “Where was I going with that? Oh! Yes, okay, can we exchange numbers with your dad? So they can, y’know talk about boring dad stuff”.
He rolled his eyes. “Mowing the lawn, and back to school shopping, and complaining about nobody doing their chores. Stuff like that”.
Sonic hummed in acknowledgment, before nodding with a smile. “That’s a great idea! Our dad is great with awkward people, well, all types of people really. Everybody loves him, he’s the sheriff in town, so he knows everything about everyone. And he loves long boring talks, it’s like his specialty”.
Sonic grabbed the phone carefully, punching in Tom’s number into the keypad.
Alvin glanced towards where Knuckles was still stuck between the two cereal options, and jerked a thumb his way. “What’s with him?”.
”Decision paralysis”. Sonic snorted, handing the phone back. “I knew we should’ve never have taught him how to read English”.
Alvin laughed, a chittering high pitched thing. “He’d get along great with my brother. Simon is the most indecisive person I know”.
”It is kind of a crazy coincidence that we both have human dads”. Sonic mused and Alvin nodded in agreement, mutually looks of deep thoughts on their faces.
”And two brothers”.
”Did yours adopt you off of the streets?”.
”Uh, yeah actually- wait you got adopted?! Like officially?”. Sonic exclaimed in surprise”.
”Uh, yeah? Yours didn’t?”.
”Ugh, the government gave them custody of us as long as we don’t-“. He paused to make finger quotes with an annoyed slouch of his shoulders. “Try to take over the planet”. He rolled his eyes. “Ugh, as if”.
Alvin raised an eyebrow. “Isn’t that kinda technically the same thing?”.
“Hmm. Government enforced adoption”. Sonic paused. “Never thought of it that way”.
“Alvin!”.
The hedgehog and Chipmunk turned to see the two other chipmunk brothers scampering down the aisle. “There you are, we gotta get back on the road, Dave’s already at checkout!”.
”Oh crap”. He turned to Sonic with a cheeky grin. “Gotta go. I’ll make sure our dad texts yours!”. He shouts before jumping from the aisle shelf and using one hand to slide down the metal fencing of the grocery cart to climb down with one hand still clutching the phone until he hits the ground and dusts himself off, tossing the phone to his brother in the blue sweater.
“Careful! This is Dave’s fourth phone this year alone”.
”Relax, Simon. Those last three times were accidents. And two of those accidents were Theodore’s!”.
The chipmunk in blue- Simon apparently- handing the phone over to the one in green- seemingly Theodore- and adjusted his tiny glasses frames with a huff.
”And yet you’ve still got the overall highest score”.
”That crowdsurfing selfie was totally worth it!”. Alvin continued to argue, as the trio scampered off. Sonic sent a returning wave to the one in the green who avoided the argument with the air of someone far too used to sibling bickering. It reminded him staunchly of Tail’s.
“Bye!”.
”See ya later!”.
The trip of chipmunks disappeared down another aisle.
Knuckles then hoisted a box of cereal into the air.
“I have selected the one of high protein!”.
-
“ALVINNNN!”.
The familiar cadence is being yelled across the grassy field of the rest stop they had pulled into for a short break. The family had claimed a picnic table off to the side of the rest stops tiny little burger shack, avoiding the more crowded and busy indoor seating to enjoy the nice weather outdoors. They blended in with the few other families that were milling about and also stretching by their legs. Dave had only just left to grab more napkins, and somehow already Alvin was in trouble for something he hadn’t even known he’d done yet!
Alvin turned, tail puffed in slight aggravation at the unfair accusation pulling his mouth away from the straw of his soda. The cup was taller than he was. “What?! I’m innocent, I swear!”. He defended himself. He at least liked to know what he was being accused of before actually confessing to anything. He pouted a bit as Dave approaches the table with a handful of napkins on one hand and his phone in the other.
”Why did I just get a text from an unknown number saying they could ‘bail us out of jail’ if you ever need a favor?”.
Dave leveled his signature dad-glare Alvin’s way and the chipmunk grimaced, chuckling awkwardly. “Uh… we made you a new friend? In high places?”.
“In high places? What- New friend who?”.
”The man from earlier”. Simon answers succinctly, not pulling his nose from where it was buried in his book, as he simultaneously grabbed another fry from his tray and turned to the next page.
”Maybe we can have a play date!”. Theodore mused over his burger, taking a big bite. Dave sat down, handing Theodore one of the napkins, and he wiped a spilled drop of ketchup from his fur. “They seemed nice!”.
”Boys? What man are you talking about?”.
”The only other guy we met today with weird alien animal kids, duh”. Alvin shrugged. “You were never gonna suggest it, so I got his number for you! You need more parent friends”.
”It’s true, I read it in an article”. Simon backed him up for once. “It’s good for healthy childhood development if the parent has a strong and relatable social circle of fellow parents”.
Dave blinked. ”First of all, I know parents! I’m good friends with Mile’s mom. And Mrs. Miller, who is essentially The Chippettes… parental figure”.
”That’s only two, Dave”. Simon raised his paw and held up two digits.
Dave sighed. “I know it’s only two, Simon”.
Alvin cuts in with an eye roll. “Look, we were doing something nice. Just appreciate it. And don’t be all awkward when you text back!”.
Dave scoffed. “What? I am not awkward”.
The three boys all shared a doubtful look between each other, before Alvin narrowed his eyes and glanced off to the side. “Right”.
Dave glared and Alvin acquiesced with raised paws. “Of course not! Awkward? You! Pssh! No way”.
Dave sighed.
Again.
“Okay. And what do you suppose me and this total stranger talk about?”.
Alvin gestures down at himself and then towards his brothers. “Hello! You’ve got one glaring thing in common”.
“Our kids needlessly meddling in our lives?”.
”Start with something relatable”. Simon suggests, just as Alvin says-
“Start with something funny!”.
”Dave’s not really good with humor though”. Simon argued, and Alvin hummed in agreement far too easily, ignored Dave’s insulted incredulous face.
“That true. Okay, we need a game plan”.
The two started on that, entirely oblivious to Theodore looking at them, shaking his head, and turning to an overwhelmed looking Dave. “Just say hi”. He suggest. “And be yourself. Isn’t that what you always tell us?”.
Dave sighed wearily before smiling softly. “Yes I am. Thank you, Theodore”.
-
Tom stared down at his phone screen, expression entirely puzzled, glancing up towards his bedroom door and then back to his phone.
“Boys?”. He drags out the word, tone suspicious.
He continued to squint down at his phone where he was supposed to just be doing his cursory last checks that there was no trouble in town, and instead got a text from an unknown number, with an entirely different county code.
Weird.
And even weirder, the actual text itself.
“What is it?”. Sonic appeared in a flash, leaning on the doorframe with Ozzy fresh on his trail, tail wagging as the alien beside him scratched at his ears. “If this is about that broken window, I have an alibi-“.
Tom silenced him by putting a hand up. ”Okay. We’re coming back to that later”. He promises, and Sonic’s ears go a little flat against his head with dismay. “Care to tell me when I got a text from an unknown number, thanking me for a get-out-of-jail free card?”. He raised his eyebrow, in the way that Maddie always says is very Dad-like.
Sonic must think so too, of the way he squirms under the pressure is anything to go by. “Oh, that. Uhh…”. He shrugged. “Don’t you always tell us to make friends instead of enemies?”.
Tom pinched the bridge of his nose. He did not need a headache to form right before bed. Maddie had gotten him to agree to catch up on Love Island.
“What friend did you make? And why am I busting them out of jail?”. He paused. “And you know I can’t actually do that, right?”.
Sonic shrugged again. “You’re a cop. You totally can”.
”That’s not how that-“. Tom cuts himself off. “Y’know what, nevermind. Who is texting me?”.
”Well you always complain about not having more Dad friends, so we hooked you up! We being the three of us- but if you don’t like it I had nothing to do with it, and if you do like it, it was all me!”. He loosely pointed at Tom’s phone. “It’s the guy from earlier. At the store. With the three kids!”.
Tom blinked, momentarily confused, before realization sparked. “The three chipmunk kids?”.
Sonic nodded and Tom sighed. “Okay, for the record, please at least ask before giving my number out to strangers”.
”We-“. he cuts himself off. “I, was just being nice! Make sure you text him back, I’m pretty sure they’re gonna back go on tour or something soon, we could do snag VIP tickets if you guys become besties!”. He fist pumped, and darted off out of the room.
”We’re talking about the window later!”. Tom shouts after him. He looked back down at his phone, scanning over the text thread.
‘With the way my boys are, that might unfortunately be necessary’
The man had replied. Dave could unfortunately relate. He had good kids, but man could they sure stir up trouble.
‘How well does that tool remove fur?’. He types out before deleting it.
‘Sorry about the trouble’. He deletes that too.
Finally, as Maddie emerged from the bathroom fresh from the shower with an excited shoulder shimmy, grabbing the remote and settling in for a few hours of trash reality TV, Tom types.
‘Tom Wachowski. I get the feeling we have a lot in common’
He finally hits send, and tosses his phone away onto the bed before he can second guess himself.
“Who’re you texting?”. Maddie asks, flipping through their streaming services to find the right one. “One of the boys asking for late night snacks again?”.
“A new…friend?”. Tom shrugs. “Maybe. Bit of a long story, I’ll tell you later”. He waved a hand towards the TV. “Now c’mon, let’s watch hot people pretend to fall in love over the course of four weeks”.
His phone buzzes by his feet and he hesitates before grabbing it, doing a cursory look over the screen, and grinning at the text before decisively placing his phone down for the night and snuggling up next to his wife.
On the beside table, his phone still had the notification visible, the screen dimly lit before it finally entered sleep mode after a few minutes of inactivity. The last thing being seen before the device blinked off:
‘Dave Seville. I think you’re definitely right’.