Chapter Text
“I need your help with something.”
“Yeah?” Bin spins around in his seat, discreetly taking in the wet hair look of his roommate as he enters their room. Dongmin is too busy running fingers through the fringe plastered against his forehead and dropping his book bag with an unceremonious slump against his chair to notice how Bin’s gazing at him.
“I’ll help you with whatever, but you should first dry off. Did you get caught in the rain?” Dongmin looks up and sees a pretty frown on Bin’s face. He gulps – the butterflies are once again fluttering up against his chest. They increase in speed as he rolls around his next words in his head, like a pebble ready to be thrown into a still pond.
“No, I’ll do that later. If I push this off, I’m afraid I’ll lose my confidence.”
Bin tilts his head innocently to the side, like a puppy. “Oh?”
“Please don’t ask too many questions. I-I’ve been placed in a compromising position and I have a request that sounds silly.” Dongmin’s breath catches in his throat when Bin reaches out and grabs his hand in reassurance.
“Don’t worry Minnie. Even if you need to hide a dead body, I’ll be your accomplice.” The small, amused smile Bin gives him makes Dongmin almost feel guilty.
“It’s probably worse than that.” He takes a deep breath and looks at a faraway point right above Bin’s shoulder. In his peripheral vision, he sees the frown deepen on Bin’s face. But he goes for it anyways.
“Can you teach me how to kiss?”
The silence scares Dongmin, but he finds hope in the fact that the other hasn’t let go of his hand. He chances a glance at his roommate, who has an unreadable look on his face.
“Why me?” Bin finally asks, pulling Dongmin closer but the older makes no protest.
“Because I trust you the most.” It almost sounds like a question, but there was absolutely no way Dongmin was going to reveal the truth. That he has always dreamed of tasting Bin’s lips or that he has imagined long, endless make-out sessions with Bin and Bin only. Because he highly doubts that the other likes him that way, considering that the younger has had a girlfriend and has kissed before.
Bin doesn’t say anything, letting his actions direct the flow of their conversation. He stands up and pulls Dongmin to his bed, intertwining his fingers with Dongmin’s. They sit on the bed, knees barely touching, when Bin breaks the silence.
“I’ll do it.”
Dongmin lets out a gasp of air he didn’t know he was holding and impulsively punches Bin’s shoulder in relief.
“I was so afraid you’ll say no,” Dongmin breathes in deeply, “else then I’ll be screwed.”
Bin doesn’t meet Dongmin’s eyes, “Well it’s really hard for me to say no to you.” But he perks up immediately with an unusually curious glint to his eyes, “Why is this so important though?”
Dongmin rolls his eyes.
“Jinwoo, the dumbass, signed me up for the kissing booth for the upcoming Valentine’s Day fair. And it’s even worse because I’ll be kissing strangers that pay the fee!”
The immediate tightening hold of Bin’s intertwined fingers with Dongmin’s is a surprise, as well as the sudden chill in the surrounding atmosphere. But Dongmin’s too busy thinking back to Jinwoo’s words. He doesn’t mention that Jinwoo only did that so that Dongmin can move on from his futile crush on Bin, words that didn’t make sense to Dongmin because he remembered the blondie was about to say something else only to stop and change subjects.
“I’ll teach you to be the best kisser in the world.” Bin says after a long pause. He’s staring determinedly at Dongmin’s lips and then at Dongmin with a smile that doesn’t quite meet his eyes.
Dongmin doesn’t get the opportunity to question Bin’s strange response, because the younger suddenly leans in absurdly close. Close enough that Dongmin can smell the sweet fragrance that definitively reminds him of home and of Bin. He almost kisses Bin right then and there, just from getting dizzy from the scent. But Bin’s ever decreasing proximity with Dongmin’s blushing face reminds him to move back. The only other direction being behind and Dongmin lets out a yelp as Bin pins him down against the bed.
“Wait Binnie! I think we should take it slow.” Dongmin’s cheeks are unbearably warm and if he had looked at Bin instead of everywhere else, he would have seen that the other’s cheeks could rival his own.
“Right.” Bin lets out a nervous laugh as he gets off Dongmin.
“How about you lean against the wall,” Bin hands him a pillow, “And I’ll take it from here?” The playful tone in his voice makes Dongmin smile, and he gingerly hugs the offered pillow as he bends his knees up to his chest so that he can create space for Bin to move forward, who naturally takes claim to Dongmin’s offer.
Dongmin watches with wide eyes and a rapidly beating heart as Bin crawls up before him and places his hands on either side of Dongmin against the wall, encasing him protectively in his embrace.
He holds his breath as Bin’s face nears his, and unconsciously bites his bottom lip in anticipation. He misses how Bin’s eyes dart to his tongue, too focused on calming down his own heart.
“I don’t know what kind of kisses Jinwoo’s making you do so I’ll start with the simple ones.” Bin’s words breathe out against Dongmin’s lips, and Dongmin allows his eyes to flutter close as Bin closes the distance.
Oh.
A gentle ghost of a kiss on his nose, and Bin’s retreating just as quickly as he snatched Dongmin’s first nose peck. But it’s enough to increase Dongmin’s own heart beat as he unconsciously brings a sweatered paw to the aforementioned spot, eyes blinking open rapidly to couple with his reddening cheeks.
Bin notices his reaction, and scratches the back of his neck in embarrassment. “Was that unexpected? I wasn’t sure if I wanted to start with your lips.” He gulps, eyes darting to the blanket at their side. “I figured I’ll start with more sweet and innocent kisses first.” Bin shifts his position on the bed as his last words fall out doubtfully.
“It’s okay.”
Bin looks down at Dongmin’s sudden grip on his wrist, which surprises Dongmin as well. When did his own hand move?
“I’m okay. Just continue with what you had planned.” Dongmin rasps out, jerking back his hand to hug the pillow tighter to himself. He questions the shaking breath that Bin takes in, but immediately blanks out when Bin swoops in again.
He lets out a squeak when Bin tilts his chin up, all at once feeling strange to see Bin towering over him on his knees and a hand placed right beside Dongmin’s head. He’s too engrossed in this sudden feeling of safeness, in this sphere of space created by Bin’s close presence that he doesn’t register the soft pressing of lips against his forehead, lingering a second longer than the nose peck.
“Stop looking like that.” Bin whispers, voice right by his ear, and Dongmin makes the mistake of turning his head so that there’s really no tangible space between his face and Bin’s. Bin responds by moving his hand from gripping Dongmin’s chin to gently caressing his cheek.
It tickles.
And Dongmin laughs. Just giggles over their current position and how after ten years of friendship they found themselves in this situation. But the laughter sounds airy on the outside, holding a certain sadness underneath it that only Dongmin knows. Knows that this intimate experience will soon be over. That the way Bin is holding him now and staring intensely into Dongmin’s eyes will only be but temporary. A memory that Dongmin will cherish and cry silently over during long nights when he’s facing the wall, away from Bin’s view.
“Like what?” He quickly switches the underlying sorrow to that of joy, enjoying the flustered look on Bin’s face at his sudden teasing poke.
“You make me want to mess up my order of kissing” Bin mutters. Dongmin’s confused. He wants to keep prodding the younger with a smile so that he doesn’t fall too deeply into the fabricated intimacy. An intimacy that Dongmin concludes as fake and only business-like because Bin has a heart of gold and couldn’t refuse the hopelessness that Dongmin had shown.
He barely comprehends Bin’s next words, “Ah fuck it.” When lips press against his own with an intensity that pushes Dongmin against the wall. A whine bubbles up his throat and escapes, bringing embarrassment to Dongmin’s cheeks. Bin must have heard it because he gasps and pulls back, eyes wide from his sudden action.
“I-I shouldn’t do this.”
The words sting, and Dongmin feels a pang to his heart. But he schools his blush, pushes back how his whine had sounded uncharacteristically desperate, and looks determinedly at Bin.
“No, you’re the only one who can do this.” The firmness in his words relay in how Dongmin eagerly reaches out and pulls Bin to him, dropping the pillow in the process. Their foreheads collide, and Dongmin almost whines again.
But he freezes instead, stricken in a daze by the puffs of breath he feels and almost tastes of Bin breathing against his lips. If Dongmin even moves slightly, his lips are surely to brush against Bin’s and the thought is enough to set his cheeks aflame. So he stares back into Bin’s eyes, who has been staring at him all this while.
Dongmin groans when Bin slowly leans back to give him space, and promptly hides his face against his legs which only serve to be the enemy this time, increasing the space between him and Bin.
“Hey Dongmin.”
Dongmin peers from his self-proclaimed circle of embarrassment, the folded arms on top of knees, to eye Bin warily.
“Don’t worry. We’re almost done.”
It’s torture. The way Bin pulls him close one second and kisses him sweetly, only to pierce his heart the next with words like that. But what did Dongmin expect?
Dongmin lets one of his arms fall to his side in resignation. As his feelings grow even more towards the other with each passing second, he has to see this through. Afterall, he was the one who got themselves into this situation.
He puts an iron cage around his heart, refusing to let his heart flutter as Bin reaches for his hand by his side. He refuses to let his resolve melt when Bin tenderly intertwines his knuckles with Dongmin’s clenched fist. Nor does he let his heart beat faster than normal when Bin approaches him again. He must be imagining the fond, smitten gaze in Bin’s eyes as Bin presses against the calves that Dongmin see as his own self-defense against drowning in Bin’s displayed but unreal loving actions.
As if Dongmin knows what’s to come, he turns his head just as Bin places his soft and perfect lips against Dongmin’s cheek.
“Another one for good measure.” Bin mumbles shyly before he presses a kiss to Dongmin’s other cheek.
He pulls back only when a droplet of rain from Dongmin’s wet hair hits him on the nose.
“Are we done?” Dongmin asks with a sniff, taking in a deep sigh upon realizing he’s still in semi-damp clothes.
Bin shakes his head, “Not yet. You need to dry your hair first.” The bed creaks under his weight as Bin retrieves towels from the bathroom. Without Bin’s presence in the room, Dongmin allows himself to let out a small gasp, bringing a hand to feel the rapidly pulsing heart beneath his chest. Was everything that just happened real? Feeling extremely giddy and wanting to expel the extra energy in his body, he stretches out his legs and arms. Dongmin is aware that his senses have been and are still in overdrive, and that he’s sensitive to every slight movement of Bin. He can still taste Bin’s dry but supple lips against his own – to which Dongmin allows his tongue to explore, licking his lips self-consciously.
But since Bin’s already kissed him on the lips, it didn’t make sense that there was still more kissing to be done. Dongmin isn’t complaining though, as he watches Bin walk back into the room with messed-up hair and in a half-focused stride.
“Are you ready?”
Dongmin doesn’t trust his voice so he merely nods, allowing Bin to climb back onto bed. He crosses his legs this time, putting a little more distance between himself and Bin. It’s necessary because he can’t anticipate what Bin is planning to do next.
He watches as Bin takes the larger white towel and drapes it around Dongmin’s shoulder, tucking it around his sides and pulling it across Dongmin’s chest. Then Bin takes the smaller towel and proceeds to dry Dongmin’s hair. It’s strangely domestic, and Dongmin can’t bring himself to tear away his blatant adoring gaze from the concentrated look on Bin’s face. He watches with a bittersweet small smile as Bin smiles impishly to himself, probably proud of his own work.
The rubbing of the towel on his head has gradually grown to endearing, halfhearted messing up of Dongmin’s already disheveled look, and Dongmin waits in silence for Bin’s next move.
Bin looks at him curiously, leaning in one last time, and Dongmin lets out a shuddering breath as his eyes flutter delicately close.
Nothing would have prepared Dongmin for the next moment.
At the same time that the younger takes the two edges of the towel and pulls Dongmin towards him, Bin dips in and takes Dongmin’s lips with a certainty that Dongmin would only later understand. It’s different from the earlier lip kiss. Bin presses his soft lips against Dongmin’s and immediately jolts his senses. Something wet is nudging against the entrance of his closed mouth, and Dongmin mewls as he grants Bin access. Unknowingly, Dongmin grips the front of Bin’s sweater and pulls him onto his lap. Without breaking the kiss, Bin brings a hand up and entangles his fingers with Dongmin’s hair, suckling Dongmin’s tongue with no hesitance.
The taste of Bin is slowly drowning out all of Dongmin’s other four senses. He can barely feel Bin’s fingers curl up in his locks, under the towel, while the skin of his waist feels numbly on fire from Bin’s firm grip. Fluttering his eyes open for a second, he admires the pretty eyelashes of the other up close, and notices for the first time – the cherry red tinted cheeks of Bin. His comforting scent was initially enough for Dongmin to forget everything else, but the occasional moan Bin emits jerks Dongmin out of his delirious haze and sends blood to his cheeks, more out of pleasure than embarrassment this time, knowing he’s the one causing Bin to make such noises.
Dongmin’s brain is becoming increasingly muddled. The only thing on his mind is Bin. Bin. Bin. He gasps into Bin’s mouth when the two accidentally topple over, less out of dazedness on Dongmin’s side than out of the fierce impatience on Bin’s side. Still weakly gripping Bin’s white sweater, it barely register in Dongmin’s mind that Bin had to regretfully detach his lips from Dongmin’s, only to take in a sharply drawn yet quivering breath and bite Dongmin’s right earlobe – before swooping down to nibble on Dongmin’s bottom lip.
Dongmin doesn’t know what’s going on anymore, especially not when Bin was kissing him like there’s no tomorrow.
Before he can lose himself further into this spiral of confusion, the piercing ringtone of a cellphone coldly slaps Dongmin back into reality. He doesn’t know who pushes the other away first. But judging by Bin’s hurt and shocked face, Dongmin’s heart sinks. It’s him.
He’s not thinking as he nearly falls off Bin’s bed – legs weak – and scrambles for his phone, hurrying out their room without even a look back. He doesn’t bother with his shoes and socks, letting his feet sting from the cold as the soles of his heel slap painfully against the concrete. Dongmin’s tripping over nothing and everything while staggering through the walkway and when he finally reaches the metal staircase, he can finally feel tears prickle behind his eyes.
Jinjin.
The caller ID reads. And Dongmin can’t help but feel cheated. He doesn’t own whatever just happened. He’ll never own it. It’s not real and that hurts Dongmin more than anything.
So he lets his tears fall as he takes the call.