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The house felt empty. It had felt empty for a long time now, but with Rudy now being fully hospitalised, Noelle had learned to have the whole house to herself for entire nights. When Asgore wasn’t there cleaning and when Carol was deep in her work Noelle had, for one of the rare moments in her life, no one watching her, no one judging her, no one telling her what to do.
On one of those nights she did something she rarely had the courage to do, she went into her room, the lights turned completely off her eyes wide open as she layed down on the carpet making sure not to leave any noticeable print on it. She would never dare use the bed, left perfectly undone the exact way it was before she left. The glow in the dark stars pierced brightly through the dark. To Noelle those stars were more beautiful than the sunset. Trembling with emotion she started sobbing but she wasn’t allowed to cry, it would stain the carpet.
She left Dess’s room abruptly, it was too much. Her room had so much power over Noelle just the door would make chills run down her spine, being in it made her feel strong and leaving it made her feel even weaker. She finished her homework and went to bed, she did not have the energy to play any games or make any blog posts or do anything, either way her mom was coming home and she’d rather be sleeping than confront her.
The next day's class was easy, painfully easy. She knew she was above this, Kris did too but at least they were smart enough to not care. At least she saw her, Susie. Hair unkept, dirty clothes, loud. Untamed, rude, she was everything her mom hated which is why Noelle was so obsessed with her. Her mom, she felt, unmovable, her influence kept freezing Noelle in place. Without anyone to fight for her, her fantasies became Noelle’s only escape, a painful, beautiful, exhilarating escape. She had a few good glances that day, she even tried to draw Susie in her notebook, moderate success. That was it, she went home, at least she had the key. She did the usual, ate dinner alone, did homework, tried again to stay in Dess’s room, it was a bigger disaster than last time, barely five minutes and she went to bed.
Crying herself to sleep she thought about Kris, about Dess and about home, how everything in her life was making her feel trapped in this little town. Her mom, this whole town, was keeping her here. Asriel… Why did he leave? Why could he leave?! Noelle had never been anywhere else, she always wanted to but ever since Dess left… She was scared. It felt like if she left, everything would fall apart. She’s Noelle, Kris’s neighbour Berdly’s friend Carol’s heiress that’s what she was. A Noelle , a smiling cute thing people ogle at, cherish, pride themselves in, play with but never care about. Noelle's don’t leave their hometown, they're just a bunch of dumb stupid girls who have never made a choice by themselves and probably never will. Dess was right to leave, she thought, Noelle didn’t want to stay and rot here, but she was too scared to do anything else.
She was on Dess’s bed, her back laying on the bedsheets. The stars were shining so brightly. On top of her, Susie breathing down her neck with passionate loving eyes.
“Hey Elly? Let's get out of here.”
Noelle was shaking with emotion, she hadn’t been called that in a long, long, time. That name, it made her feel so loved. Noelle's hand brushes Susie's face with blissful tears forming in her eyes, she speaks.
“Yes Susie-”
Her eyes bolt open, her heart thumping for nothing.
Another lousy dream.
Noelle stares blankly at the ceiling of her room, alone. She drew a deep sigh and rolled over to her bedside table to grab her phone, opened the notes app and wrote down her dream, to remember it.
It was Friday and her mom was “spending the weekend” with Asgore, whatever that meant. For Noelle however, that meant she was finally going to have some privacy. She had to go back.
This time she was not laying down, not sitting on the chair, she was standing up breathing with intention managing her fear. She was focusing on that dream, on Susie that maybe someday, that room could be full of love like it once was. That thought kept her going for minutes, hours until eventually, the stars stopped shining. The room was covered in darkness, her eyes couldn’t see anything but she knew where everything was. She didn’t know what time it was or how long she had been doing this but her body was telling her she was tired. The idea of leaving this room, however, made her sad she didn’t want to be weak, she had to stay. Almost by second nature she walked up to Dess’s bed and fell asleep.
She woke up in a strange world feeling fully awake, it was bright as day. The scenery was so beautiful she hadn’t noticed she was in a white robe. It looked like she was in her favorite Dragon Blazers dungeon but she could also tell it was somehow still Dess’s room. In front of her she could see a shadowy figure. It scared her, but when she looked closer, it transformed.
NOELLE: Dess?
DECEMBER: Yup!
NOELLE: But that’s not… You’re. How?
NOELLE: Ok I get it’s not really you, someone's just playing a trick on me… What’s your favorite hot chocolate?
DECEMBER: Marshmallow and melted candy bar.
NOELLE: Yeah well what about Kris?
DECEMBER: Same thing with some cinnamon!
NOELLE: That’s… correct.
She smiled
NOELLE: Oh I get it! This is a dream! Faha what took me so long!
DECEMBER: Elly does this really feel like just a dream?
Dess punched Noelle on the shoulder
NOELLE: OWW!
NOELLE: What’s wrong with you?
She realised what this meant.
NOELLE: So this is real… And it’s really you?
She started sobbing and went in to hug her sister.
Dess floated away.
DECEMBER: I wouldn’t do that personally,
DECEMBER: It would kinda hurt you.
DECEMBER: Look Noelle, I’m just here to tell you a few things. Next week something horrible is going to happen and it’s gonna be my fault… But I hope that at the end of it all. You’ll see something very very wonderful.
DECEMBER: Noelle you’re strong. You’re the strongest person in this world, so don’t let anyone stop you… Especially mom! Got it?
NOELLE: I think?… *sniff* This is a lot to take in.
DECEMBER: It’s important that you understand by Monday. Monday you’ll have to believe me, you’ll have to do something crazy for me. Ok?
NOELLE: If it’s really you… I’ll trust you.
DECEMBER: Oh and one last thing. Kris is really sorry for all those years. There's a good reason why they haven’t talked to you for so long and they care about you more than you think.
DECEMBER: Alright it’s time to wake up sis.
Suddenly a brilliant light shines through the whole room and Noelle finds herself where she was. On Dess’s bed. That dream felt more real than her life.