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What would you do to protect everyone?
Kotone had answered that question with her life. As long as everyone else had a chance of living, she was okay with giving up her own life. Her sacrifice would save her friends, the people she cared most for, and the boy who deserved a second chance at life.
He had made it out of his own coma in time to see her on the rooftop. She knew she was fading away, but she was so happy to see him again. To have him hold her close again was all she needed.
Everything faded into darkness and Kotone smiled, breathing what she imagined would be her very last breath.
The darkness lasted for longer than she ever imagined it would. Was this death? Eternal nothingness? Sometimes she swore she could hear faint voices far in the distance but she could never reach them.
With time, the voices grew stronger- louder. She tried to shout into the darkness, begging to know who was there. But she couldn't speak, couldn't move.
“...Vital signs… steady.”
…what?
“...Recovering… Soon…”
Who's recovering?
“Kotone?”
Hello? I'm here! Who's calling to me!?
“Can you hear me Kotone?”
Yes! I hear you!
“They said it's almost time for you to wake up.”
Huh? How can I wake up? I'm… gone. I chose my fate.
“I'll be waiting for you. We're all waiting for you.”
That voice! It sounds so familiar. I know you…! Don't leave… Come back…
Kotone had no idea how long she had been trapped in the darkness. It felt like no time had passed at all, but it could've been minutes, hours, or even days.
Eventually, the darkness began to change. It felt a little brighter. Far away, there was light. Could she chase after it? For the first time in the darkness, she felt like she could move. She walked, then ran towards it, hoping for something new. Would this let her move on?
“I think she's starting to wake up!”
The voices are back. Do I stop and listen? Or keep running towards the light?
“I’ll call Mitsuru!”
Mitsuru? That voice… was that… Akihiko?
“Hey, can you hear me?”
Kotone stopped in her tracks. That voice… It was him. Shinjiro.
“We're right here, waiting on you.”
Shinji! What does he mean? Is he telling me to head towards the light? I'm coming, Shinji!
Kotone felt weaker the more she ran. Her lungs grew heavy, breaths shallow, her legs stumbling.
I… can… do… it!
The light revealed a door, closed and waiting to be opened. Before she could reach for it, she heard something behind her.
“Kotone, your time isn't up yet. You deserve a chance to live. Go- see your friends again.”
Kotone whipped around to see Ryoji standing in front of her. Not the avatar of Nyx, but the boy she befriended.
“Ryoji? What are you doing here?” Kotone reached out for him, pulling him into a hug.
“You saved me from my fate as the arbiter of Nyx. I'm free now. But that means I also need to set you free.” Ryoji pulled back from the hug to look her in the eyes. A soft smile was on his face.
“What do you mean?” Kotone asked.
“No longer must you seal me away. We are not connected by fate anymore. I can finally be put to rest.” Ryoji paused for a moment, but he moved towards her and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. “Kotone, you were so dear to me, but you have a life to live with everyone else. I can't be selfish and keep you here. They want to see you. Open the door and return to the world of the living.”
He backed away from her, “I'll always love you. I’ll see you again someday.”
Ryoji turned away from her, and disappeared into the darkness.
“Ryoji! Wait!” She reached out for a moment, but let her hand drop to her side. She understood his words. He was releasing her back to life. The door in front of her was life. This darkness was the state in between life and death.
No matter where she looked, Ryoji was gone from her sight. He had made his choice. His freedom was finally accepting death for himself. To no longer be tied to him would let her live with no threat of Nyx or the Fall again. All she had to do was open the door and return to the world.
Beyond the door stood all her friends- no- her family. They were waiting for her. Would they be happy to see her? Would they be disappointed that she chose to sacrifice herself? Were they okay still?
Her body ached as she reached for the door. She wondered if this is what it would feel like when she returned. How bad of a state was she in? How long had she been gone? Shaking her head free of those thoughts, she slowly turned the doorknob. As it opened, light filled her and she took a deep breath.
…
……
“...hear me?”
“Kotone?.... Can you hear me?”
Kotone gasped, taking in shallow breaths. Everything was so bright, so loud. Where was she? What happened? She was in a hospital bed, connected to an IV and other various tubes. A doctor stood over her.
“I'm right here.” She said, her voice quiet, strained. Talking hurt.
Kotone looked over to her left, feeling a hand on her arm. Shinji… it's you.
“She's stable. She'll just need plenty of rest and lots of monitoring before we can clear her. It's remarkable she recovered, so we can't risk taking her off the medication early.” The doctor spoke up, looking at her chart.
Kotone looked around the room. A few others were here as well. Yukari was wiping tears from her eyes, and Junpei was trying to look like he hadn’t also been crying. Fuuka held a bunch of flowers, but also was sobbing at the same time. Akihiko had just reentered the room.
“I'll be back to check on her soon.” The doctor turned to leave the room.
“H-hey.” Kotone muttered. Her voice felt so weak and hoarse.
Everyone had rushed over by her side.
“C'mon, give her some space.” Shinji complained to the others, who didn't listen.
“Kotone! I'm so glad you're okay!” Yukari was at the other side of her bed, and leaned in for a gentle, small hug.
Fuuka followed soon after, “We’re so happy you're okay!” She left the flowers on the table next to her bed.
“You scared the crap outta us! You can't die on us again!” Junpei said, trying to smile for her.
“... I died?” Kotone asked.
The room fell silent.
“You've been in a coma for a few weeks since graduation…. Your heart stopped for a little while until the paramedics brought you back and transported you here. They say it's a miracle you're alive. “ Akihiko spoke up, sitting at the edge of her hospital bed.
That would explain the darkness. The nothingness she felt. Seeing Ryoji again.
Kotone tried to sit up, but her body felt weak and sore.
“Take it easy. You still need time to recover.” Shinji ordered.
“O-okay.” Kotone responded. He still helped her move into a sitting position.
“Mitsuru is on her way with Ken.” Akihiko added.
“How have you all been?” Kotone asked, looking around the room. Even though she was the patient here, she still was a leader at the end of the day.
“Not much has happened since graduation, honestly.” Yukari answered.
“We all remembered what happened- you know, with SEES and everything. We all met up on the roof like we promised.” Junpei chimed in.
“I'm so glad you all remembered…” Kotone smiled. She remembered how hard it had been to go through those months after the Fall when everyone had lost their memories.
“When we got there, you had just fallen unconscious.” Fuuka looked at the floor.
Shinji had a pained look on his face. Kotone remembered that he was there with her before she had fallen into the darkness. Her last memory before the darkness…
“We've been trying to visit as much as we can.” Fuuka spoke up. “Especially since the doctors had said you were having such a good recovery recently.”
“The doctor said you suddenly started recovering rapidly, despite no real changes to your care. They told us you would probably wake up soon a few days ago.” Akihiko explained.
Kotone realized that the voices she heard in the darkness had to be all of them when they visited her. It warmed her heart to think that they'd all come see her. She missed them all. Even though she had accepted her decision to sacrifice herself, she still was scared to leave everyone behind. Before she knew it, her eyes had filled with tears. Everyone around her froze for a second as she started crying.
“I'm sorry!” She tried to smile between her sobs. “I'm just so happy to see you all again!”
Yukari passed over tissues to Kotone and Fuuka sat next to her, trying to comfort her.
Akihiko’s phone started ringing and he stepped out of the room.
As her tears slowed down, Akihiko stepped back into the room. “Mitsuru is almost here.”
Kotone felt tired. Crying probably didn't help, but her body felt so fatigued. She felt weak from being comatose for so long. She looked back towards Shinjiro. She really wanted to talk to him individually. She had barely reconnected with him before she ended up in this state. He looked so much healthier now. It made her happy.
“We should give them a moment while we wait for Mitsuru.” Yukari told the others.
Even though they had never told the others of their relationship, it had been fairly obvious to the point that everyone picked up on it. They all knew to give her space to grieve when he had ended up in the hospital, anyway.
“Oh right. Let's go wait outside.” Fuuka agreed and walked towards the doorway of the room.
“We'll be back soon. Don't do anything too crazy.” Junpei smirked as he left the room.
Kotone was thankful to Yukari for suggesting that everyone step out. She would need to find a way to thank her later.
“Call me if you need anything. Shouldn't be long before we're back anyway.” Akihiko was the last out of the room.
All that was left was Shinjiro and Kotone.
“Hey.” Kotone said softly. She had waited so long to see him again, yet she felt her words failing her in the moment. There was so much she wanted to say, but she didn’t know how to say it. So much catching up they had to do to make up for lost time.
“You scared the hell out of us, you know.” Shinji sat back in his chair, keeping watch over her.
“I know…” Kotone looked down at her hands, feeling guilty for making the others worry.
“Don't do it again. We need you here.” He paused for a moment. “I need you here.”
Kotone felt her face heat up as she looked back over at him. He looked quite serious, but still had a slight smile on his face.
“I'm not going anywhere ever again. I got a second chance at life, after all.” A small sigh escaped from her lips as she remembered what Ryoji told her before she had come back to the living world. “You're stuck with me now.” She flashed a smile at him, trying to lighten the mood.
“It's ‘cause of you that I'm still here, you know. So you have to stick around with me.” Shinji laughed, then leaned forward in his seat, still keeping his eyes on her. “I heard from Aki what you all dealt with while I was in the hospital. Hell of a time you all went through. I'm sorry I wasn't there to help.”
“N-no. You helped me stay strong. I fought to save everyone, but I also thought of you. I wanted you to recover and have your own chance at life. I… tried to visit when I could, just to see how you were doing.” She looked away, feeling a bit embarrassed to admit it plainly. She wouldn’t admit to how many times she had gone to his hospital room just to vent or cry about things when she felt like she couldn’t let the others see her mask slip. Not when everyone needed their leader to be strong and fearless.
“And now I've been here waiting for you to get better. Twisted fate to have us both wind up here back-to-back, huh? Doctor says you still have a lot of recovering left to do, so you won't be out of here any time soon.” Shinji crossed his arms.
“You'll make it less boring when you visit, at least.” She said with a playful smile on her face.
“Yeah, yeah, I'll try my best. Only for you.” He smiled back.
“I really missed you, you know.” She tried to keep her playful tone, but her honesty broke through her words.
“I know.” Shinji stood up from his chair and sat down on the bed next to her.
Kotone held her breath as he got close, planting a soft kiss on her forehead. She felt her face grow hot and she just wanted to throw her arms around him.
Before she could react, he moved back to his chair.
“Y-your recovery,” She shifted the focus back to him, “Are you healed now? You look healthier.”
“Yeah.” He leaned back in his seat, “Turns out months of forced rest can do a lot to heal the damage done.”
“Akihiko mentioned you had been using those suppressant things…” Kotone spoke quietly.
“I did for a while.” He admitted, “But not anymore. A lot of the damage from it recovered, but it's not perfect. I'll have some lasting issues, but I probably won't collapse as easily. At least we won’t be fighting those damn Shadows anymore.”
“That's good…” She let out a breath. “So…is the dark hour…?”
“Gone. That Tartarus shithole is gone too. We don't have to worry about it anymore.” He had a faint smile on his face.
Kotone breathed a sigh of relief. It truly was over. Her efforts hadn't been in vain.
A knock at the door caught her attention. The door swung open a moment later as Mitsuru and Ken hurried inside.
“Kotone! You're awake!” Ken ran over and threw his arms around her.
Kotone winced in pain slightly, but she kept it from him. He deserved a moment to just be happy.
Mitsuru was at her other side with a gentle smile. “We're so glad you're okay.” She looked like she was holding back her own tears as much as possible.
“How have you both been?” Kotone asked as Ken moved to sit on the edge of her bed.
“Good. Other than being worried about you, it's been peaceful for the first time.” Mitsuru answered. “We still keep an eye on things, but the dark hour hasn't reappeared. We're keeping surveillance on it for a little while longer just to be sure.”
“Where's Aigis? I didn't see her with everyone else.” Kotone asked.
The room fell silent for a moment before Mitsuru answered, “Aigis disappeared. The last thing we saw from her was a note saying she had found her answer and had one final mission to complete.”
Kotone frowned.
“She left this for you, as well.” Mitsuru pulled a letter out of her bag and handed it over.
Kotone felt anxious as she opened it up- her hands trembling slightly. She silently read the letter to herself.
Kotone,
I am writing this to you as a final confirmation of my mission. If you are reading this, then I have completed my mission and you will be alive once again.
I was supposed to protect you and I failed in my mission. I didn't know how to move on at first until a special power awoke in me. It was a gift that only I could use. I knew that my gift would help me find the answer I was looking for- a way for you to be happy and free.
Human life is the most precious thing I've seen. You all get to live and enjoy every day of your short lives. And yet you used your fragile life to fight to save humanity even when it put you all at risk and ended up with you leaving this world. This world needs you. Our friends need you. You were meant to be here. I saw how everyone mourned you as you left this world. I found the way to change that outcome. I will never regret my choice because it means you get to live again.
I will miss you, dearly. Thank you for teaching me about being alive and helping me find my purpose in life. Please enjoy this world for me.
Aigis
A tear landed on the page.
Kotone folded the paper back up and held it close to her chest. She had an idea of what this letter meant, and it hurt her to think that she'd never get to repay her friend. She didn't need to seal Nyx away anymore because someone else became the seal. That's why she and Ryoji were free now.
She wiped the tears away and smiled back at Mitsuru, “Thank you for this.”
“We should probably let you rest for the night.” Mitsuru spoke up. “I'm sure you're still exhausted. We'll continue to come by daily until the doctors say you can be discharged. But if you need anything, call for the nurses and they can call me. We'll bring you anything you need.”
“Thank you Mitsuru.” Kotone looked back at Ken. “Thanks for coming to see me. I'm sure I'll see you both soon.”
She waved as the two left, leaving just Kotone and Shinjiro alone once again.
“You should rest.” He spoke up.
She didn't disagree, but she felt like if she closed her eyes that she would wake up to the darkness once again.
“What's the matter?” He asked. He must've seen her hesitancy.
“I…” she sighed, “It sounds childish… but I'm afraid. Afraid I won't wake up again.” She wouldn't admit that to anyone else- just him.
“That's… fair.” His voice fell quiet for a moment before he looked back at her. “But you're not gonna end up like that again.”
She looked back at him, her heart racing as she felt her anxiety swelling up.
“Hey… don't cry.” He stood back up, hurrying to her side, “Look, I'm not going anywhere.”
He sat next to her and pulled her into an embrace. Every emotion overwhelmed her at once as the tears became unstoppable. She couldn't do anything except sob. All those tears she had held back for months, promising to be a strong leader throughout the worst… No longer could they be held back. Shinji just held her close, as she let it out.
As the tears finally started drying up, he moved away from her to look at her. He brushed away the tear streaks down her face.
Her eyes and her head hurt but she looked back at him.
“Aigis… she… she took my place.” Kotone spoke in whispers. “I'm not supposed to be here. I was supposed to die- to stay dead. I don't know what she did or how she did it but she saved me. I'll never get to thank her…”
Kotone was sure she sounded crazy, but she knew it was true. “I was supposed to seal Nyx away again. Like I did before. I knew that and I accepted it. I was ready and yet I was so scared to be in the darkness. It was lonely… I don't want to go back.”
“Aigis knew what she was doing. If you're right, she did it to save you. You're not going anywhere anymore. You're alive.” His hands cupped her face.
“I'm… alive.” She let out a breath. It felt strange to voice it but she was alive. And she wanted to live. She wanted to be here and see her friends. She wanted to see her future through. For the first time in a long time, she felt hopeful. She didn't even notice, but her face moved into a beaming smile.
“There we go,” Shinji smiled back. “Much better.”
“W-will you stay with me? Until I fall asleep?” She asked, feeling vulnerable.
“I'm not going anywhere.” He promised, leaning in to give her a quick kiss that made her stomach feel like it was full of butterflies. It had been so long since they had been so close.
Shinjiro moved off of the bed and pulled his chair closer to it.
“I'll be right here. That okay?” He asked as he sat down.
“Y-yeah.” She smiled, still feeling a bit overjoyed.
“Good, now try to sleep.” He instructed.
“Will you be here tomorrow?” She asked as she leaned back into the bed.
“Yeah, of course. I'll be here at some point. I need to stock up on food in the dorm for everyone first though. I'm sure someone else will be here before me though. They won't leave you alone. I'm lucky we even got this time together.” He answered.
“You're staying in the dorm again?” She asked as she laid on her side, facing him.
“Yeah. I got nowhere else to go… and I may have convinced Mitsuru to pull some strings to enroll me back for my last year of school.” He admitted.
“You're going back to school?” Kotone asked, excitedly.
“Yeah. May as well finish it. I have no excuse now. You may have to show me the ropes again.” He joked.
“We'll both be in our final year of school then. And then graduation will be for us in a year.” She reached for his hand.
“I know. We'll have to think about all that stuff soon enough. But those are things we can think about after you're out of the hospital. One thing at a time.” With his free hand he moved the blanket to better cover her.
“Alright, I'll try to sleep now.” She finally gave in. “Goodnight, Shinji.”
“ ‘Night, Kotone.”
As she drifted off to sleep, she wasn’t met with the dreadful nothingness, but instead, she encountered dreams. Dreams of a hopeful future alongside her friends and her love. A future free from the Fall. Free from the dark hour.
Thank you Aigis. I will never forget you.