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Donnie may go on and on about “laws of reality” and how they relate to the innermost workings of space and time, but if there was a truth universally acknowledged by the Hamato family, it was this:
Donatello was the smart one, Raphael was the strong one, Michelangelo was the creative one, and Leonardo was the loud one.
Leo’s family might word it differently (or not, depending on the day). His brothers, if asked, would probably say he’s “the leader” or “the talkative one” -heck! They may even use his own self-title of Face Man™ -but Leo knew deep in his soul that all of that is just a side effect of the truth:
Leo needed attention like he needed air.
~ 𓆉 ~
When Leonardo was younger, one-on-one time was a precious resource that was rarer than gold. Splinter was in the midst of what Leo had since figured to be a depressive spiral caused by the whole mutated-into-a-rat-and-forced-to-live-in-the-sewers thing, so he wasn’t exactly… Present all the time.
Their dad still got them food and necessities, of course, but days when he felt good enough to spend time with them (in ways that involved more than watching TV together curled under a mass of blankets carefully not looking at himself or any of the little turtles) were rare.
When they did happen, most of the focus was directed at Mikey (who was the youngest and needed the most help) or Raph (who Splinter gave their “marching orders” to). Even Donnie was more likely to be called upon than him, if only to fix the TV when it went on the fritz.
Gaining Raph’s notice wasn’t any easier, since Mikey needed significantly more supervision than he or Donnie did. He tried more than dad, but the snapper was only older by a year. He was already having a hard enough time juggling his three siblings as-is.
Meanwhile, Mikey was still in his “follow Raph everywhere” phase. This meant the eldest was always present for one reason or another.
Even when Leo managed to get Mikey to play with him for a bit, the snapper would usually be there to “supervise” and make the two weren’t too rough. Lee didn’t mind sharing the attention, but his youngest sibling would get distracted by the eldest almost as soon as he arrived, which left the young slider playing by himself yet again.
Finally, there was Donnie. Now, his age-mate should have had the same issue as Leo (which he definitely did! Leonardo had seen the way Don acted around Pops to this very day) and, more to the point, he hadn’t gone full mad scientist yet, so they were still on mildly equal ground. Sure, he fixed up little things (battery operated TVs, toys, a toaster that still lives in infamy to this very day) but those rarely kept the others interested.
Which totally meant they should have some sacred, mutual-middle-child bond, right?!
They were both “quiet” kids (at that point), too, so it really wouldn’t have taken much. Just a bit of sitting together and hanging out. Leo could have read comics and listened to Donnie ramble about whatever. Maybe he could’ve poked at a few of his experiments…
It could’ve been fun…
Instead, Leonardo would come to Donnie’s room only to get kicked out again almost immediately because he touched something delicate, or he bothered Donnie too many times, or his voice broke Donnie’s focus-
Eventually, he wasn’t allowed in at all.
Which- fine!
He could play on his own!
…for a few hours.
…
A few hours turned into a few days, which turned into a week of minimal contact.
It wasn’t personal. Everyone was just. Busy.
Raph had to follow dad on his surface trips (apparently, he needed some extra supervision after whatever happened to him in the sewer tunnels), Mikey was either with them or napping since he was the youngest, and Donnie locked himself up in his room to work on- something.
He didn’t actually give any details before he shoved Leo out of the room.
…
Leo’s memory got fuzzy after that.
It’s fine.
It’s cool.
It was a long time ago.
Anyways, the specifics of when and what his little kid’s brain decided may be lost to the ages, BUT! He knew he decided one thing:
He couldn’t go on like this.
He needed to talk to people.
Leo Needed to interact with someone.
Anyone.
And if he couldn’t get that the easy way, then he’d get it the hard way.
~ 𓆉 ~
His brothers probably don’t even remember the transition. Heck, he barely remembers that quiet little kid he was before. If they did, they would just assume the change happened naturally.
It didn’t.
Leo poured weeks of research into this.
He spied on all the shows his dad watched on that dinky little travel TV and paid careful attention to the characters that drew the most attention both in the show and from Splinter, whether it was a disgusted scoff or a rolling belly laugh.
Then he moved on to his brothers.
He knew what they liked (generally, though he made sure to keep an eye out for new interests), but what they liked wasn’t enough, so instead he figured out what got a rise out of them. Not enough to make them hate him, just enough to make them… take notice. To drag them down to his level for a moment, so that he could hype them back up again.
He went from a ghost to the world’s most obnoxious sibling in the span of a few days, and he still considered it his best feat of planning to date.
Sure, the attention he got wasn’t always positive, but he still got it.
Raph had to pay attention to his dumb comments and risky maneuvers, Mikey had to groan or giggle at the bad jokes he’d spent the previous night memorizing from an old joke book hidden in his room, and Dad had to at least pause to frown at him when he barged in with a dramatic declaration, or a show re-inaction, or a collection of puns (he even got a laugh a few times)!
Then, once he had them hooked, he could drag Raph into a game of Capture the Flag, or show Mikey a cool skateboard move, or even get Dad to play a few rounds of poker with a ragged deck he found.
The problem was, he still hadn’t cracked Donnie.
All of his attempts just made the purple-themed turtle shut him out more. The harder the slider tried to get the softshell’s attention, the less he saw of him. By the end of the third month, Leo was more than ever desperate to figure out what would stick. He tried being loud, sarcastic, oblivious, witty, silly, serious- he was flicking through personality traits faster than a bored shopper flicked through magazines in the checkout aisle- but nothing worked.
He had almost given up… when Donnie finally came out of his room to announce he had something to show them all.
It took some convincing, but eventually even dad dragged himself out of his chair to see what the commotion was about. Donatello led them through a maze of tunnels which eventually opened up to a large atrium.
Donnie turned to them, standing tall as he gestured to the room that surrounded them, calling out in an almost obnoxiously high voice “Rejoice, breath-ren and dearest parent! For I have solved a problem that has long pla-gud our family! No longer must we cower in the cold, dark corners we made our home! No longer will we be at the mercy of whatever water we can get from pu-bu-lic fountains or boil ourselves! I give you: The Lair!”
He flicked a switch in his hands, and a hum filled the air. Lights flicked on all across the atrium and warm air billowed from hidden vents.
There was a pause where the whole family was dead quiet for a moment, but then it was like an explosion went off. Mikey was screaming from excitement, running all over, Raph was rushing to catch him but still clearly thrilled himself, and Splinter even patted Donnie’s head with a “I suppose you are not just the funny one anymore, purple!” and a chuckle before wandering off, muttering about moving his chair and getting a projector set up.
Meanwhile, Leo was slowly coming out of a state of shock, only to be fully brought back by the smirk Donnie sent his way before he ran off to catch up with Raph. It clicked for him, then, what he’d never consciously realized before that point:
It had been a competition the whole time.
~ 𓆉 ~
After that, Leo obviously had to make an adjustment to The Plan.
It wasn’t as big of a shift as you might think. After all, this meant he had already gained Donnie’s interest, he just hadn’t known it yet. Now, all he had to do was keep that focus and figure out how to milk it for all it was worth.
Leo had always been good at games, so long as he knew the rules, and this one involved a simple yet delicate balancing act:
As long as Leo was “in the running” and attracted attention from the others, Donnie would, in turn, pay attention to what Leo was doing (if only so he’d know who to present a new gift or surprise event for next).
However, Leo had to be careful not to grab too much of the other’s interest, or Don would instead lock himself up in his new lab to create a huge showstopper; something to keep their focus on him for a good long while.
He could mold himself into the “cool older brother” archetype for Mikey but had to stay annoying enough that their little brother would still run off to Donnie’s lab for a break.
He could bait and tease Raph into conversations and arguments but had to know when to back off and give the Brains & Brawns duo some bonding time.
He could play up the jester roll to Splinter but still had to carefully shift the spotlight onto his co-star before the act was finished.
He had his moments of under and over-correction, some unexpected obstacles he learned to account for (like the addition of a whole new person. April had The System wrecked for months before he got the hang of her personality), but after a few years Lee had it down to a science.
Of course, Leo never stopped trying to actually hang out with Donnie. He’d declared them twins shortly after that first realization and took every chance he got to remind him of it.
The slider would drag Donnie all over the sewers, make puns only the purple ninja would get, alternate between finding him parts and breaking his things- he even learned medical stuff to try and spark a ~nerd bond~ with him!
…It didn’t actually work (the physical stuff had too many Bad Textures, and Leo could only sit for so long listening to the technical side of things before it became indistinguishable from alphabet soup), but hey, at least now his brothers were more likely to come to him of their own volition! Even if it’s just for a sprained ankle or sore throat.
On the flip side of things, Donnie was quick to realize that Leo could be “distracted” from their competition for periods of time if he was allowed in the lab or Donnie’s room for a few hours.
Occasionally, when he really wanted to spend some one-on-one time with one of their siblings (their pops had his own set of rules that they were still trying to figure out), he’d even bribe Leo with a “Twin Night” in exchange for information and a day left alone.
Most of the time though, the softshell was unwilling to give into Leo’s attempts to form a connection with him. Instead, Donatello would use “gifts” as bribes. He didn’t receive them quite as often as their brothers (or later April) did, but he still had a small treasure trove of Donnie-prizes himself.
(At least, he did until The Lair got wrecked…)
Almost all of them came to him booby trapped (worst was probably the literal shock collar but it wasn’t the first). Even so, that had its own advantages. He’d play up whatever horrible fate occurred in Dee’s presence, and then still get to keep whatever the doodad was, afterwards. Lee was good at dismantling the harmful or embarrassing bits so he could keep them (mostly) in one piece.
The devices themselves were still useful (little electric toys, phones, computers, heat lamps, etc.) so, if anything, the pranks were a nice reminder that Donnie had thought about him while making them.
Plus, when they started doing The Lair Games? Where he was able to prove he’s good at something AND have everyone’s full attention when he won? Oh, Leo more than got him back. Besides, the competitions were amazing at getting him that sweet, sweet dopamine hit. Even the one where he came in second had its own satisfaction (can’t get too far ahead, now~).
But then…
The whole Hero Biz started to get serious.
Sure, it wasn’t too much to compensate for in the beginning (the sudden appearance of mystic weapons and villains-of-the-week had surprisingly little effect on their day-to-day lives), but the enemies they made kept getting bigger, stronger, and smarter. Soon, they took up nearly all the time the duo originally put towards their little semi-one-sided competition.
After the Roof Incident, it quickly became apparent that the whole rivalry had to be put on a back burner. It was still there, of course, but it became less of a bonding opportunity and more of an inconvenience as the stakes grew higher, especially since Donnie’s competitiveness would flair up whenever something major happened.
Really, things were bound to boil over sooner or later. They just got unlucky and landed on “sooner”.
~ 𓆉 ~
Donatello didn’t talk to Leonardo for the full six months between when Leonardo was declared the leader by Splinter and The Invasion.
He just worked and worked, toiling away at the new Lair, their vehicles, the escape pods he gave everyone just in case-
(Leo’s pod didn’t so much as turn the wrong color when he tested it out. Something inside him felt just a bit hollower.)
Meanwhile, Leo spent every waking moment trying to ruin his newfound win. He and Donnie weren’t on equal footing anymore. Donnie would never catch up to the required notice his position of leader came with and that could not stand.
(Could Leo just soak up the newly focused eyes and take the win? Sure! But he wasn’t just going to leave Donatello behind. He knows how bad it feels to be left behind.)
So, he came up with a new plan: act like a bad enough leader, and Raph would take the position back. Then, he and Donnie would be at the same level again, like nothing had ever changed!
In the meantime, he’d have Raph’s full attention (even if it’s out of anger) and Mikey’s interest (because most of the distractions just happened to be the most fun for their youngest sibling).
It really seemed like a foolproof plan at the time.
…
Then The Invasion happened.
Really, that dressing down Casey Jones gave him in the elevator shaft only reminded him of what he already knew: he was nothing without his family.
That was why he was always so desperate to keep their eyes on him, for them to sing his praises and scream at his failures, because each time they turned away for even a moment, he felt like he would disappear.
Because they don’t need him.
Not like he needed them.
Which, really, is why the sacrifice play was one he was always willing to make. He was the best fit for it.
If Michelangelo died every light in the world would go out.
If Raphael died their entire family would crumble under the weight he’s held for them.
And if Donatello, his beloved twin, was the one to pass? People a thousand years from now would still be talking about his tech and would still be appalled that some idiot let him die.
Leonardo, though? He knew the best thing he could do was go out with a bang. At least then he’d have something to his name, something for his family to remember him by.
His father gave more attention to that shrine in the corner than he ever gave to any of them. Surely he’d do the same for his son’s if Leo went out like a True Hamato.
Raphael has always been so busy but surely Leo would stick in his mind as something more than just another check on the list with this.
Michelangelo has always been the center of attention but surely he’d be okay with sharing for a bit if his brother was a hero.
Donatello… well, he wouldn’t have to compete with Leonardo for attention anymore and maybe, just maybe, his thoughts on his twin would be a bit fonder after the fact. Maybe Leo would be sweeter as a memory, his blue mask taking a kinder tone when coated with rose-tinted nostalgia.
So, yeah! Leo threw himself away in one final, grand gesture with only vague hope that with this sacrifice he’d finally earn his family’s love.
…and then his baby brother pulled out a miracle, just like he always does.
~ 𓆉 ~
Leonardo doesn’t remember much from the hours after the portal. He thinks he said some witty one-liners? Leo was honestly running on autopilot during the aftermath of it all.
As soon as they got home, he made sure to patch up everyone’s injuries (the less said about Raph’s eye or Donnie’s entire back the better) and then collapsed, relieved to finally be done with the world for at least a few hours.
When the slider woke next, it was to the float-y, far away knowledge that he was not where he fell asleep, and that everyone was rushing around him and SCREAMING.
…
He found out later from Donnie that the damage the Kraang did to his shell was subtle, but horrifying.
The only thing that kept him standing was adrenaline and the fact that Draxum made them all extra tough. They had to move him to the med bay immediately, and even then, it was a close call.
(He wasn’t surprised none of them caught on before then. Very little of the damage was visible externally unless you knew what to look for. Besides, everyone else was already distracted by their own injuries. He should’ve just noticed and taken care of it himself.)
However, at that moment, all he could do was try and push past the strange, cottony feeling he was coming to recognize as some sort of drug to look around at his surroundings.
Everyone was there.
Dad was pacing on the far side of the room, Raph was sitting off to the side, staring at his hands, Mikey was right up next to the bed and crying oh no- (his thought stuttered, blink, then immediately drift away)- with Future Boy right beside him looking just as bad. Draxum was there, of all people, and glaring at him like he’d personally insulted his mother while April shouted something that was clearly important at the old goat.
And, of course, there was Donnie.
Donnie was sitting there, right up against the bed, looking at Leo like he was seeing him for the first time.
His hands were wrapped around Leo’s so tightly a cobra would’ve been jealous, and he was looking at him like he’d finally solved a complex formula 16 years in the making.
Pizza Supreme only knows what exactly caused that look, but even through the confusion, Leo still felt a small flicker of hope.
~ 𓆉 ~
Leo got more attention in the next few weeks than he had in years. Everyone was already stuck in the medbay for one injury or another, but they all seemed to be hovering extra hard whenever Leo was cognizant.
Honestly? The whole experience would have been fantastic… if not for all the aforementioned injuries. It was never fun to see his siblings hurt especially when it was because of something he did.
Still, seeing his entire family hover over him and pick his bed to play cards or use to prop up the tablet filled him up with the kind of warmth he so rarely got to experience.
(Like he was really important to them.)
(Like he was really loved.)
The novelty faded eventually. Once all the guys (Leo included) were all healed up the check-ins slowly transitioned from every couple of minutes to a couple times a day.
They still stuck around each other more often than before- which was great, really!
It just… still wasn’t as often as Leo would’ve preferred.
Leo got it. Really.
They had supplies to restock, people to rescue from the wreckage, and many a villain taking advantage of all the chaos. CJ had modern, normal everyday life to adjust to and April’s university was still holding classes in spite of all the destruction.
Yet, even as everyone got back into the normal rhythm of things, even when everyone else began to move on and forget all about Leo again until the next time he made a scene, there was still one major change:
Donatello. Hadn’t. Left.
For the entire duration of Leo’s partial coma, the softshell was present every. Single. Time. He woke up. Even after Leo started to stay awake for extended periods of time, Donnie never left for more than a few hours and always made sure someone would be there in the meantime.
Leo thought it was just that he’d discovered a new passion for biology or something. It would’ve been a reasonable reaction for his twin to have, what with all the injuries (as well as the creepy bio-tech enemies they just faced). He even made plans to ambush Donnie with some surgical videos during his next attempt to bond!
However, much to Leo’s surprise, his plans were never needed. Even after Leo was released from the clutches of the medbay’s cold, bleach-scented embrace, Donnie rarely left his side.
…Honestly, it left him at a bit of a loss.
Leo could just! Sit there! And ramble on about anything, and the only thing that would happen is the occasional request for a moment of silence when Don was working on something delicate (to which Leo would dramatically give in, and he’d swear his twin cracked a smile at him) or a snarky comment from the aforementioned turtle. In fact, more often than not Donnie was the one who started the conversation! He never started one just for the sake of it before this (if anything, he ended their talks)!
Leo never had to push for any of the bonding time he used to carefully coax and extort the softshell into. He didn’t even have to ask about planning a Twin Night or a hangout before Donnie already suggested something similar. Half the time he had it scheduled weeks in advance!
Leo finally, finally had exactly what he always wanted their relationship to be.
It was amazing.
…
It was terrifying.
Leo kept waiting for the other shoe to drop.
It had to sometime, right? Donnie HAD to lose interest at some point, right? Sure, he was hovering now, but once he had his fill and decided Leo had recovered enough Donnie was just going to move on to focusing on Raph, Mikey, April, or even Splinter. Heck, in the most likely scenario he’d get distracted by the Brand-New Family in the form of Future Boy Extraordinaire: Casey Junior!
But he never did.
Oh, he checked on the others constantly, sure. He used every tracking method known to man and then some to keep up with them all and did constant in-person rounds with Leo.
But he never left Leo alone.
When Lee was waved away by Splinter, Donnie went with him.
When Mikey hit max Leo Tolerance Levels and the Slider took his queue to head back to his room, Donnie was standing by the door with a movie picked out to watch together.
When Raph seemed on edge of yet another nagging lecture (he kept giving ones on personal safety for some reason?), Donnie was the one dragging Leo back to his lab for a bit of cool-down time.
Even during the bi-weekly visits from Casey or April, when before Donnie would’ve been off like a bullet for some one-on-one bestie time with April or to study someone from the future, nowadays he refused to leave unless Leo specifically planned to spend time with someone else and he’d be back before the slider could spend even a second alone.
It finally came to a head during when they had a rare visit from Piebald.
While their introduction wasn’t the best, she was still a new sibling that brought their little family from five to six (now seven, with Casey around)!
So, of course, there was a constant cold war over who got to hog her attention each visit. Especially between the twins.
Leo was mostly on the losing end since she did hold a grudge for the whole (accidentally!!!)-flushing-her-thing, but he was working on it! Give him just a few more visits and that should all be water down the sewer pipe.
However, as it stands, Donnie knows the easiest way to get her attention was to stick around Pops or Mikey (who she blamed the least for the whole debacle) and ask her questions about whatever she was currently studying at a Hidden City boarding school (Donnie was SO jealous when he found out Pops had signed her up for it, but it’s not like she’s a known highly illegal super-soldier). Leo wasn’t really expecting to see him much for the visit.
Which was fine with Leo! He probably needed the time alone by this point, and he could always bug his brothers for info later. Besides, he saw the Mood Piebald was in when she walked in. She barely even spoke to Pops, just made a beeline straight for couch and flung herself face-first onto it. He was betting something bad happened (maybe something with that Lotus Blossom girl she mentioned last visit?) and as happy as he usually was to bait family into a conversation…
Well.
He hasn’t really been in the mood to get negative attention lately.
So, Leo does what he does best, switching from his role as the obnoxious star of the show to shadow in the background as easily as breathing.
It’s only when he’s halfway back to his room, with the din of their rambunctious gathering barely audible, does Leo realize he’s not alone.
Leo glanced back at the party, only to do a double-take as he processed the sight of his twin trailing along almost as silently, with the exception of his claws creating a soft tap-taping against his wristpad that echoed around the empty subway.
“Yooo, mi gemelo~ what are you doing all the way over here?” Leo turned, smile a carefully crafted look of light confusion, “Party’s that-a-way!” he continued, throwing a casual wave back the way they came.
“Excellent observation skills, Nardo,” Donnie replied, tone dry as the Sahara Desert (and Leo would know! He’d portaled there by accident a couple times), “however, as you are surely aware, I am not exactly a “party” person.”
“Yeeeaah, but it’s only so often you get to see Piebald! You? missing out on fishing for information from our resident fish herself? Unlikely!” Leo scoffed.
“I did when she first arrived, dum-dum. You were there, remember?” Donnie lifts a drawn eyebrow, still tapping away at one project or another, “She did not appear to be in the question-answering mood. I’ll probably get better data tomorrow, when our aquatically-inclined sibling has had a good night’s sleep.”
“You’re really giving up that easily? That’s not the Donatello I know.” Leo scoffs, “You could still eke out a bit more info back there with Pops and Mikey greasing the wheels for you.”
“Yes, but that would require far more social interaction than I am willing to engage in at this particular intersection,” Donnie instantly dismisses, “So. what about you?”
“What about me?” Leo shoots back; arms crossed.
“You left as well, but you are significantly more of a, -quote “party-person” unquote- than I am,” Donnie clarifies, staring Leo down. “Yet, you still left earlier than I did.”
“Hey, I can’t be a social butterfly all the time.” Leo casually shrugged, like it didn’t kill him a little inside every time. “Gotta leave some for all of you, don’t I?”
“I do not believe socializing is a finite resource. However, in the unlikely event it became one, I can say with a 97.8% certainty that you need it more than any of us do.”
Leo lets out a dramatic sigh, “Really? You of all people wouldn’t be the least bit interested in a bit less of me and a bit more time with the others?”
“What do you mean?” Donnie blinks in surprise, finally closing whatever he was doing on his wristpad and fully focusing on his twin.
Leo rolled his eyes and set his shoulders.
“Sweet Pizza Supreme in the Sky Donatello, have you forgotten how this works?” Leo asked, incredulous and tired of all of this waiting, as he stalked towards Donatello. “I’m the guy that people like in small doses. I come in, hog the room until everyone’s begging me to take a hike, and then you pop up to take over with a couple sarcastic quips and aaaall the questions you want because even the most annoying of those always seem tame in comparison.” Leo mocks as he stares his twin down.
“I’m not the guy you follow after. I’m the guy that makes everyone breathe a sigh of relief when he leaves the room, especially you. If there is anyone who should be thrilled at me turning in early, it should be you, so tell me,” He boxed the softshell in, anger clear as day on his face. “what the hell changed?”
Despite the other’s fury, Donatello actually regained his flat affect as the rant went on, stone-faced as he waited for the slider to finish.
Donnie watched his twin for a moment more as he stood there, panting and furious, before drawling in a flat voice:
“Ohhhh, so no one told you! he said with a tone of dawning realization.”
Leo blinked, snapping out of his anger.
“What.”
Donnie furrowed his drawn-on eyebrows, grumbling a bit as he fidgeted with his wristpad to pull up some kind of… script?
“Let me preface this with an acknowledgment that someone else was supposed to give this explanation, so my script is still in beta.” Donnie pauses to give that statement a moment to absorb, before clearing his throat, “Ahem. It has come to my attention that I. Need to. Apologize.” Donnie gritted out the last word, “For some time now, I have been… operating on incomplete data.” which is the closest Donnie ever comes to admitting he was wrong.
His face would be flat to anyone else, but Leo knows him well enough to recognize Donnie’s embarrassed look when he sees it “I was under the impression that our little competition-”
Oh, so we’re verbalizing that now. okay.
“-was just a thing we did. I never meant it to go this far I just-” Donnie cut himself off.
“You just…?” Leo continued, tilting his head in confusion and leaning back a bit.
“I just wanted you to pay attention to me” he finished, actually mumbling this time.
“Huh?”
“Look, you had already started your weird cycle of bugging the rest of the family by that point!” Donnie exclaimed, throwing his hand free hand in the air, “and none of the gifts I gave you kept your focus off of it for more than a few minutes!”
“Wha- but I tried to hang out with you all the time!” Leo threw back. He vaguely remembered getting a few gifts from Donnie, usually shortly after getting banned from his room. He always assumed they were bribes or something to keep him from tattling to Raph. “You always kicked me out!”
“Well, they’d hardly be surprises if you knew about them beforehand!” Donnie defended, turning slightly to fully face him, “I still wanted to see you use them, but you never stuck around for afterwards for my full Gift Satisfaction Survey™.” He finished with a pout.
…Leo distinctly remembered running off immediately after getting anything and stashing it in his room before Mikey, who was in his shove-everything-in-his-mouth phase, could get a hold of it. By the time he came back out, Donnie had generally stalked back off to his room to start working on something else.
Whoops.
“Regardless,” Donatello continued, getting back on track “I had assumed that, because of these attempts to gain the others’ interest, you would, in turn, spend less time with me. So, I devised a plan that would require your constantly focus: The competition!” Donnie finished excitedly with a dramatic flair before his face fell “…admittedly, I did not think about the psychological toll said rivalry would take, nor how far it was going to go until… recent events caused me to reevaluate.” Donatello added, refocusing completely on the script.
“Oh, come on, Dontron!” Leo tries to brush off, mask coming back up “I know the last couple months have been… rough but our little rivalry didn’t have anything to do with-”
“But it did.” Donnie interrupts sharply, eyes staying firmly on the hologram before him, “As I stated earlier: Incomplete data! You threw yourself to what should have been an assured death sentence, which you never would have done if your ego was half as big as I my initial analysis suggested. I have had to re-evaluate 92.3% of all the information I originally collected. This included all previously unavailable resources, of which our reluctant creator was revealed to be the most relevant.”
“Wha- What does Barry have to do with anything?” Leo questioned, which Donnie ignored.
“It turns out that, during our dear Baron Draxum’s research into possible species for his army of super soldiers, he discovered the red-eared slider’s propensity to, ah, handle depression badly mid-experiment and decided to head off at the pass while still making “use” of it disgusted scoff. You receive a small amount of a mystic equivalent to dopamine (normally used by gargoyles) for every one-on-one interaction you have in order to prevent you from falling into that Danger Zone.”
“However, if you do not receive a certain amount of focus per day, your body will re-adjust to using your naturally manufactured dopamine (which is unnaturally low) and begin to shut down. You, Leonardo Hamato, literally require attention to function. Which means I have missed a vital need in this family! So. I am fixing it.” Donnie completed, rattling off each sentence like they were written in stone instead of hard light.
And Leo just.
couldn’t do this.
“Admittedly, it will take time to undo all of the negative effects of your more shall we say unorthodox attempts to maintain other’s focus, but I am nothing if not up to the challenge…”
Leo couldn’t do this.
“…Angelo and I are working to get a system set up, so everyone receives an equal amount of bonding time, but I needed to ensure we proceeded with a complete data set this time. Besides you did declare me your “twin” despite all scientific evidence and as such I get first dibs- anyways, we’ve still…”
Donnie’s rambling faded into static background noise. Leo wasn’t processing any of it.
“I’m fixing it.”
Like it’s that easy.
Like he’s a remote that needs a new set of batteries and then he’d be good to go.
Leo could not do this right now.
So.
He didn’t.
One minute he’s in front of Donatello, still rambling away, the next he’s back in his room with one of his swords in hand, humming with mystic energy.
The minute after that he goes through a portal just as Donatello makes it to his door, a bewildered look on his face.
Leo closes the portal before Donnie can do anything else.
~ 𓆉 ~
Leo wasn’t sure how long he’d been sitting here.
It had definitely been a while. He came out here just after sunset and the sky was already starting to lighten again.
He hasn’t exactly been checking the time.
Leo sighed as he looked out over the honking cars and neon lights.
New York. What a town!
“What a life.” Leo mumbled, leaning back to look up at the sky.
So. Literally everything he thought was just turned on his head today. Donnie was trying just as hard as he was the whole time and he completely. Missed it.
Oh, and! Get this: his need for attention was literal. He’s got neediness written into his goddamn DNA.
Great! Just what he wanted! The extra helping of hot bullshit he needed to really make the disaster sundae that was his entire existence really come together!
…
It wasn’t actually that surprising.
He knew what happened to non-sapient sliders when they got depressed, he was the medic for Pizza Supreme’s sake.
He just thought he’d gotten lucky.
Looking back on it with fresh eyes, though, he was able to re-contextualize his reaction each time he’d thought he was left alone.
How cold his body felt, how sluggish his brain turned and how desperate he became for literally anyone to come by and notice something was wrong.
He just got good at finding someone to bug before it got that bad. Even if they weren’t in the mood to pay attention to him, he was excellent at making them do it anyways.
Even now, he can feel it setting in a little.
Just a bit.
It would probably take longer than a few hours to cause even minor damage but…
“Sen- ah, I mean- Leo?” a familiar voice calls out from behind him.
Leonardo’s eyes snap open.
He hadn’t even noticed he closed them.
“You always know the best spots, huh?” Resident Future Boy™ observed as he made his way up onto the roof. “I can see clear across the city from here.”
“What can I say? It’s a gift.” Leo volleys back, easy as you please, like the past twelve hours never occurred. “What’cha doing up here, Space-Case? Thought you’d still be asleep at Casey’s place.”
CJ only stayed with the O’Neil’s for a week before Cassandra found out about his existence and dragged him back to her apartment. Apparently, she was stoked to finally have a family member that wasn’t either evil or awful. There was an awkward near-miss with her attempting to parent someone a couple years older than her, but once that was sorted out the Caseys were practically attached at the hip.
“I got a text from Ma- from Donatello. He said you needed an “external opinion”, and I was the closest.” Casey explained with a shrug as he casually made his way over.
Leo let out a sharp, humorless bark of laughter. “Ha! Guess he would think I need a babysitter, wouldn’t he?”
Casey just shook his head and took a seat next to the turtle on the ledge. “He’s just worried. You know he hovers when he’s worried.”
“more like paranoid.” Leo muttered.
Casey dipped his head in acknowledgment, before adding “That paranoia saved us more than once in the future, you know.”
“Yeah? And did you know about all of this in the future, too? That apparently it really is too dangerous for me to go anywhere without a buddy?” the sarcasm was thick in his voice, and the questions were barely even rhetorical.
However, Casey shook his head in clear denial.
“I was just a kid when we lost the Baron. If my masters learned about your state before that point, they never saw the point in telling me.” Here, Casey paused for a moment, before conceding “...there were signs, now that I think about it.”
Leo made a hum of interest, despite himself.
“Nothing that I could’ve put together out of context.” Futureboy was quick to assure, “It was little things. Privacy was a luxury at our camp, and we couldn’t travel anywhere in groups smaller than three, but my masters put a special emphasis on sticking close to Sensei on the rare scouting mission or if they all needed to be in other parts of the base.”
“...I thought it was because I was one of the youngest and least experienced of the group,” He admitted with a sheepish grin and gave the turtle a slight shrug. “but they did it too. If one of my masters or Commander O’Neil needed to take me somewhere for training or patrol, they always made sure someone stayed back with Sensei. It never really struck me as unusual, but…”
“But now you know.” Leo finished bitterly. His hands gripped onto the cement edge of the roof, “You know that it was just me and my need to be the center of attention.”
“Now that definitely isn’t true.” Casey quickly rebutted “My family rarely allowed anyone to roam around the base alone, true privacy was a luxury none of us could afford. Besides... they were all just as quick to make sure Master Donatello had someone around as Sensei.”
“...Seriously? Mr. badboy-lone-wolf actually tolerated that?” Leo leaned back and shot the time traveler a skeptical stare.
CJ just returned it with a serious nod. “Well, yeah. If we had lost him… earlier than we did, we would’ve been doomed. He was the brains behind our water, food supply, electricity, weaponry- essentially all of our resources to survive.” Casey thought for a moment before adding, “...Now that I think about it, Commander Jones did tell me about a time early on in the fight when Master Donatello tried to cut himself off from everyone else.”
The boy out of time’s eyes went misty as he got lost in the memory.
“She said he made the entire base automated so he never had to leave his lab. He just stayed in there and churned out weapon after weapon, trying to make artillery faster than the Kraang could spread. He wouldn’t let anyone into his section of the bunker, no matter how my masters and the Commander tried. The only reason why he did come out…”
“...was?” Leo prompted, drawn in despite himself.
“Was because of you. Or- well- future you.” Casey scrambled to correct. “One night you just had enough and told everyone that if we were going to win this, it was going to be as a family. She had no idea how you got into the lab or what you said to him, but by the next day Master Donatello was walking around the base like he’d been there all along.”
“So you’re saying, what, the skills I learned from my attention-seeking tendencies are a good thing?” Leo said with a dry look.
“No, I’m saying that no one does well alone.” Casey argued back. “The Commander said Master Donatello looked horrible after Sensei finally got him to come out of his lab. He hadn’t been eating, sleeping, and couldn’t handle being touched for long periods of time. I have seen people die because they decided to go out alone and got caught in an attack because of it. A lone ronin is a dead ronin, that’s what you always said. But you’re not alone Leonardo.”
Casey grips Leo by his shoulders, staring him straight in his eyes.
“Anata wa hitori janai. You are not alone. That’s our family creed for a reason. If you need a bit more company than most, then great! That’s what we’re here for.”
Leonardo felt his eyes watering, but before he could try to hide it CJ pulled him in for a tight hug.
He didn’t even try to get out of it, the kid hugs like he’s Raph. He just clutched him back and cried.
~ 𓆉 ~
They stayed like that for some time.
Leo shed crocodile tears most of the time, so having a good cry like this was honestly a long time coming.
But when he finally pulled himself together, Casey asked if he was ready to go back to the lair.
“We can stay up here longer if you want.” He offered, but Leo just waived him off.
He had someone he needed to give an apology to.
So, Leo opened up two portals.
The first one was one to the Jones apartment, where he dropped Casey off and reassured him that they were still on for game night next week.
The second was directly to Donatello, who was sitting in his lab with his gaze locked on the screen showing Leo’s tracker location. The genius scrambled to turn it off when he saw the sudden change in location, trying to pretend nothing had occurred.
“Nardo.” Donnie greeted stiffly, “I see you are still in one piece. I understand if you want to take me off the hangout rota after this, but I have several arguments that I believe you should listen to first-”
“Chillax, Dontron!” Leo waved off, throwing an arm around his brother and pulling him into a half-hug, “I totally overreacted there. I just needed to leave for a bit to-” he paused. “-process things. It was a lot of info all at once, needed a moment think.”
Donnie blinked in mild confusion, but leaned into the hug regardless.
Leo softened, pulled his twin in more, and said in a low voice, “Hey, I’m sorry for freaking out, before. CJ helped me find a… new perspective with an old phrase.”
“...and that is?” Donatello asked with a raised eyebrow.
“Anata wa hitori janai, of course.” Leo answered with a smile.
“Oh! Of course.” Donnie relaxed.
Leo finally released his sibling, giving him a light slap on his shell and moving to the doorway, sweeping his arms in a dramatic gesture to it.
“Now, if you wouldn’t mind, I do believe I need to have an in-depth discussion with our dear siblings on what does and does not need to be told to the medical professional of the family and I would appreciate you’re company.”
“Always.” Donatello agreed.
And that was that.
They both walked off together, safe in the knowledge that someone cared.