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In this world, soulmates exist. On someone’s eighteenth birthday, the person can feel the heartbeat of their soulmates echoing against their own.
In moments where a soulmate is on the verge of death, the heartbeat’s volume sinks lower. Still there but very faint.
Their heartbeats sing the same song, just with different tempos. Of course, platonic soulmates exist, but this. This connection is shared between romantic soulmates.
Eddie vividly remembers the day of the lightning strike. He remembers hearing the echo of his soulmate’s heartbeat echo his own and then it just…stopped. One second it was there, and then it wasn’t.
He looked up in the sky to see the lifeless body of his best friend. Of his soulmate? It has to be a coincidence, because Eddie Diaz is straight and as far as he knows, Buck is as well.
Never mind that, he doesn’t have time to think about that. His best friend is hanging from the sky. He has to get to him. He needs to have him close.
Eddie climbs the ladder. Once he reaches the end, he pulls at his line. He tugs as hard as he can, but he can’t get to him. He can’t save him.
He gets down from the ladder as they lower Buck’s body, the numbers continuously going up after each second.
Bobby makes Eddie drive to the hospital, he knows it’s for his own good, but he really wanted to keep Buck in his sights.
When they arrive at the hospital Eddie takes over CPR, pushing down on Buck’s chest, possibly breaking some ribs but he doesn’t think about that right now. He just needs him to be alive.
After a couple compressions, the numbers that kept ticking upwards in his head, stopped. He restarted Buck’s heart. One hundred and ninety-seven seconds. Buck was gone for three minutes and seventeen seconds.
And then, there it is again. It’s back. The echo, his soulmate’s heartbeat is back. That can’t be a coincidence. Eddie doesn’t have time to think about that right now though. He just needs Buck to be okay.
After Buck woke up from his coma, Eddie didn’t tell him. Eddie didn’t tell anyone. He didn’t let himself believe that Buck was his soulmate, because that isn’t possible.
He pushed it all down, never to be thought of again. Never to be spoken of. They were both straight after all.
It’s been about a week of Buck being back on shift after his withdrawal recovery. On the day Buck rejoins his team—his family, The 118 was called to a fire at an apartment complex.
Chimney sends Buck, Eddie, Ravi and Harry into the complex. Since Buck and Ravi are partners, they went in one direction and Eddie and Harry went another.
Both groups were searching and yelling for people throughout the whole building, still putting out some flames from the inside while the other firefighters tried to calm the fire from the outside.
Harry’s voice comes through the walkie. It’s urgent and panicky. “Firefighter Diaz is down. A—a piece of the ceiling fell onto him and—and then the—the floor gave out.” Silence. “I can’t find a pulse.”
Buck heart sinks. Then he realizes…the echo is gone, he feels so…empty. His soulmate is dead and his best friend is dead. Buck doesn’t make the connection, all he’s thinking about is Eddie, and Christopher.
Shit. What is he going to say to Christopher? He’s already lost his mother. Eddie can’t be dead. He can’t be. It’s not an option.
“Harry, look around. Tell us the numbers you see. We’ll come to you.” Buck says, Ravi looking over at him, nodding. They’ve finished clearing their side already.
“Uh—room three—three one, uh I can’t see the other number. That’s all I see.” Harry’s voice comes through the walkie. “I’ve been doing compressions for about thirty seconds. Still no pulse.”
“We’re on the way, Harry, just hang tight.” Ravi states.
“Bringing in the backboard.” Hen says over the walkie.
When they get there, Buck takes over CPR, pressing on Eddie’s chest over and over again. Not sure if he’s pushing too hard. He just needs Eddie back.
“Pulse is a little thready but there.” Hen puts her hand on Buck’s arm. “You did good, Buck.” She turns to Harry. “You too, Harry.”
Buck nods and helps Ravi get Eddie onto the backboard.
The beating…it’s back. Buck heard it come back when Hen told him Eddie’s pulse was back but…that can’t be right.
It has to be a coincidence, right? His soulmate was dead and now they’re alive again, it happens…
Buck rode in the ambulance with Eddie. The whole ride his eyes fidgeted back and forth from Eddie to the heart rate monitor.
At the hospital, Buck stays at Eddie’s bedside. The doctors informed him that Eddie would have to stay for another day.
Eddie has three bruised ribs, a sprained ankle and a pulled bicep.
They also let Buck know that Eddie would be released pretty quickly since the injuries he sustained are likely to heal well on their own.
Buck stays in one of the chairs next to Eddie’s bedside when hears the sound of the door opening.
In walks Harry, shaky and not looking at Buck.
“Hey Harry.”
“Hey…” He sits down in the chair next to Buck.
No one says a word for about five minutes.
“I’m sorry, Buck.”
Buck sits up in his chair, “Harry…you don’t have anything to be sorry for.”
“We almost lost Eddie. You almost lost Eddie…and it’s my fault.”
Buck doesn’t comment on the implication that Harry is setting. Saying that Eddie is his to lose.
“Harry, you didn’t make the floor give out and you didn't make the ceiling fall down…”
Buck continues, “What you did do is help everyone find their way to both of you. You gave Eddie CPR and you helped us save him, Harry. If you weren’t there, if you hadn’t started CPR when you did…he might not have made it. You saved him, Harry.”
Harry sniffles, wiping his eyes and nose, his breathing unsteady. “I’m sorry.”
Buck pulls Harry by his shoulders into an embrace. “You did nothing wrong. There’s nothing to be sorry for.”
The next day, Buck is still at Eddie’s side. He didn’t sleep, he didn’t eat, he didn’t leave. He’s just been focused on Eddie and his heart rate…
And maybe the echo of his own heartbeat as well. And how his straight best friend could potentially be his soulmate.
“Buck?” Eddie asks, his eyes still shut.
Buck scoots closer. “Yeah, I’m here Eddie.”
“Ugh, my body—mmm…hurts.” He finally opens his eyes.
“Kinda the reason why you’re in the hospital.” Buck jokes, Eddie cracks a smile.
“What happened?”
“A piece of the ceiling fell down on top of you… Then the floor gave out.”
Eddie grunts as he sits up a little bit. “What’s the damage?”
“Three bruised ribs, sprained ankle and a pulled bicep. Your wrist might hurt a little, but it’s not broken or anything.” Buck replies, Eddie lets out a deep breath. “The ribs may have been my fault and Harry’s.”
“Thank you for saving me. Both of you.” Eddie tries to reach for Buck, but ultimately retracts his hand, groaning at the pain. “When can I go home? Does Chris know? How am I going to take him to school? When—”
“Eddie. I’m taking you home today. Yes, I told Chris, he was here a couple of hours ago. He's with Maddie now. We’ll go get him on the way home and I can take him to school for you. Any other questions?”
“How long until I’m cleared for work?”
“Presumably, in two to six weeks. If everything heals as planned.”
“Okay…” Eddie rubs one of his hands down his face. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” Buck nods.
“You don’t look okay.”
“Just scared. I was scared for you, for Chris. I’m good.” Buck clears his throat. “You’re here now.”
Eddie knows that look. He had the same one when Buck died. When he realized that Buck could be his soulmate.
Since talking to Frank and coming back from Texas, Eddie thought about that a lot. When the lightning strike happened and Buck’s heart stopped beating, Eddie wasn’t sure if they were soulmates or not.
But now, seeing Buck’s face. Knowing he’s having the exact same reaction as Eddie once did. He knows for certain.
“Yeah, I’m right here Buck. I’m okay.”
Buck nods, really wanting to say, ‘You died and I think you’re my soulmate because my heart felt quieter for the short time that you were nothing but a shell of the man I’m in love with.’
A while later, at home, Chris is in his room, playing some game with his friends. Buck helped Eddie onto his bed and brought him his meds with a cup of water.
The doctors sent him home with crutches, even though it might be a little painful to maneuver around with them given that one of his biceps is pulled.
“Buck.” Eddie says, just ask Buck was about to leave his bedroom.
“Yeah?” He stops in the doorway.
“Um…are you—are you staying? The night, I mean? I just…I don’t know how I’m supposed to do anything on my own.” He raises his right bandaged hand.
Eddie wants to roll his eyes. He wants to tell Buck to go home. That he can manage on his own. He’s not the type of person that asks for help. He shouldn’t need help. It’s how he was raised. It’s sewn into his brain.
“Yeah, I’ll be here. Just down the hall in the living room.”
But Eddie wants to ask him to stay too. He wants Buck next to him. He wants him to be as close as possible but that would probably be weird and…selfish. “Okay.” He responds.
“Just…shout if you need me.” Buck gives a smile and walks out the room.
In the living room, Buck slowly paces around.
Eddie could potentially be his soulmate. But if that were true, wouldn’t Eddie have told him?
Buck has been on the face of death many times and he’s actually died. Why wouldn’t Eddie say anything to him?
“Buck?” Eddie shouts from his room.
Buck gains his composure and walks towards Eddie’s room.
“You okay?” Buck asks when he opens the door.
“Um…I want to shower. Can you—” He sighs. “—help me? Please? I feel gross, especially after being in the hospital and I just want to get out of these clothes.”
“Yeah, of course.”
They both head to the restroom, Eddie leaning on Buck for balance. Buck shuts the door behind them and turns on the shower.
He reaches for Eddie, asking for his permission with his eyes. Eddie gives a nod in return and Buck starts helping Eddie get out of his clothes.
After he’s undressed, Buck helps him into the tub and under the spray of the shower. Eddie keeps one hand on Buck’s shoulder for stability. Buck grabs a washcloth, lathers it with soap and begins to clean Eddie.
Buck cleans him so meticulously and so gently. It makes Eddie feel so cared for. So…loved. Buck spends ample time showering Eddie. His hands move slowly on every single part of his body.
This trust, this reliance that Eddie has and feels for Buck is something that he’s never felt with anyone else. He feels as though Buck understands him. Buck accepts him for who he is.
He trusts Buck with his life. He trusts Buck with Christopher’s life. That’s not nothing.
In these thoughts, Eddie thinks back to the lightning strike. Buck was dead, and his heartbeat, the echo, was gone.
Buck is his soulmate. And Eddie? Eddie is confused. He obviously cares for Buck—he loves Buck. But is that love as platonic as he thinks?
After Buck finishes bathing Eddie, he helps out of the shower and towels him down with the same tenderness he showered him with.
Buck wraps the towel around Eddie’s waist and walks with him towards his bedroom since they forgot to bring his clothes in the bathroom.
“You wanna wear anything specific?” Buck asks, standing at Eddie’s dresser while Eddie’s sat on the edge of the bed.
“No, you can choose whatever. Thank you…for the shower.”
“No need for thanks.”
Buck pulls out a t-shirt, a pair of shorts and some boxers. He kneels in front of Eddie to put on his underwear and shorts. He stands as he carefully puts on the shirt.
“What time is it?” Eddie asks, scooting back on his bed and getting under the comforter.
Buck grabs his phone off the nightstand. “Seven-thirty. I should get started on dinner. You good here?”
“Yeah, thank you.”
“Of course, I’ll be back when the food’s ready.”
After about an hour or two later, Eddie hears Chris’ room door open and then the sound of him and Buck walking to the kitchen.
A couple seconds later, Buck is opening his bedroom door.
“Hey, you hungry? I made Alfredo pasta” Buck stands in the doorway.
“I don’t really have an appetite.” Eddie shuffles under the covers.
“Eddie, you haven’t eaten all day.”
“I know, but…”
“Can you just have a bite, please? For me?”
“Okay…”
Buck moves over to the bed and helps him up. They walk together down the hallway into the dining area.
There, Chris is already sitting down and eating dinner. “Hey dad, how are you feeling?”
Buck helps Eddie into his chair. “I’m good Chris, thank you for asking.” Eddie smiles.
By the time Buck places Eddie’s plate on the table in front of him, Chris is already done with his food.
“Chris, you want some more or are you full?” Buck asks, sitting at the table with his plate.
“I’m good, thanks for dinner Buck.” He stands up and takes his dish to the kitchen sink.
“You’re welcome.”
Chris comes back to the dining room. “Gonna go play the game with Denny.”
“Okay.” Eddie replies, picking at his food with his fork.
“Don’t stay up too late, you’ve got school in the morning.” Buck adds.
“Yes, father.” Chris mocks. He walks towards the hall, stops for a second, then turns around and rushes into Eddie’s side. “I’m glad you’re okay dad.”
Eddie tries his best to silence his whine at the pain and wraps his arms around his son. “Me too. I’m right here mijo, I’m okay.” He runs one hand over his back.
Chris backs away, wiping away tears. He turns around and hugs Buck too. “Thank you.” He sniffles. “Thank you for saving him.”
“Always. I’ll do everything I can to keep you and your dad safe. That’s a promise.”
“Okay.” Chris whispers as he backs away. He wishes them both a goodnight as he walks down the hall.
Eddie can feel Buck looking at him as he stabs his pasta over and over.
“Eddie, I’m not trying to force you to do anything but if you don’t eat, you’ll feel like shit later. So please, just take one bite.”
Eddie looks at his food, at Buck, then at his food again. He stabs his food again and takes a bite.
Buck watches him until he swallows. “You want to try and eat another bite?” Buck pushes.
Eddie really doesn’t want to, but he will. For Buck. He stabs the pasta, brings it to his mouth, chews then swallows.
“Thank you.” Buck takes his empty plate and Eddie’s plate to the kitchen. He puts his in the sink and wraps Eddie’s up and puts it in the fridge.
He walks back to the dining room. “Tired?”
“Yeah.”
Buck helps Eddie up and walks with him to his room. He sits him on his bed. Buck pulls the blankets back so Eddie can get comfortable.
After Eddie is under the covers, he walks towards Eddie’s door.
“Buck.”
Buck turns, “Yeah? Need something?”
Eddie is a person who loves physical touch. Whether it be a hand hold, a bump of the knee or shoulder. An arm squeeze, anything really.
All of these things he’s done with Buck. He’s always felt the need to be close to him. Giving him little touches, just to let him know that he’s there.
So yes, asking Buck to sleep with him would’ve been nice, comfortable. Buck has always been a constant presence of comfortability for the Diazes. He’s Eddie’s safe space.
“No, I’m good. Goodnight.” Eddie replies, trying to get comfortable.
Obviously, Eddie wants Buck next to him. He wants to wake up with Buck. He wants to do life with Buck, even though they basically already are. Just…not as much as Eddie would like.
Eddie doesn’t tell Buck he wants him to stay. Eddie has never allowed himself to ask for more. He’s never given Buck more intimate touches. Or more intimate access.
Even though he would like to. He would love to.
“Okay…goodnight, tell me if you need anything, even if I’m asleep.” Then he’s out the door.
Even though Buck’s not in his bed, he’s at least down the hall. Still…it’s not close enough. He never liked Buck being out of his sights.
When Eddie wakes up the house is quiet and he really has to pee.
“Buck?”
No answer.
Eddie looks at the time on his phone, and it clicks that Buck is probably on his way back from dropping Chris off at school. So, Eddie’s alone.
Eddie raises up in bed and grabs one of the crutches by his nightstand and uses the arm that isn’t injured to stumble to the bathroom.
After he’s done with his business, he hears the front door opening. It sounds like Buck is trying to be hushed. Probably thinking that Eddie’s still asleep.
Eddie takes his crutch and moves slowly back down down the hall towards his room.
“Oh Eddie, you’re awake.” He rushes down the hall, “Let me help. Here, lean on me.”
“It’s okay, don’t need help.”
“Eddie, come on. Just let me—lean on me.”
“Buck, I’m fine. I got it.”
“Eddie, just let me help you.”
Eddie lets out a breath and does as he says. Buck walks him back to his bedroom and sits him down on his bed.
“Do you have a shift today?” Eddie asks.
Buck sits at the foot of the bed. “No uh…Chim gave me FMLA for the next two weeks. And after that I’m on twelve-hour shifts until you’re ready to come back to work.”
Family and Medical Leave. Which implies that Eddie is Buck’s spouse.
Buck had argued this with Chimney, telling him how he and Eddie weren’t married and how Eddie was undeniably straight.
Chim responded by saying, ‘Buck, this is the only way for you to look after him. And don’t kid yourself, you guys are as married as Maddie and I and Hen and Karen are.’
Buck didn’t know how to respond to that. He also didn’t want to argue. If he and Eddie had to pretend to be spouses in order for Buck to take his leave, then it’s fine.
Buck definitely didn’t stress about how Chimney said that they were married. Or how his leave was only granted because they were thought of as spouses.
“Buck?” Eddie pulls Buck out of his head.
Eddie heard Buck say FMLA. He tried his best not to show a reaction. Buck said Chim gave him the leave, which is very nice. He probably didn’t mean anything by it.
“Sorry.” Buck scratches the back of his neck. “Um…what do you want to do?”
Eddie scoffs. “Is there anything I can do?”
“We could go in the living room and watch something?”
“I kinda don’t want to get back up.”
“I could bring my laptop in here and we could watch something. If you want?”
“Yeah, let’s do that.”
“‘Kay.” Buck leaves and returns a couple seconds later.
He walks around to the other side of the bed and sits down, pulling the bedding over his lap. He places the laptop between the two of them.
Eddie notices Buck is sitting very close to the edge of the bed.
“Buck, scoot closer. Why are you so far away? I don’t have cooties.”
“I just—you need space. You know, to heal… and I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable.”
“You being so far away is making me uncomfortable. Scoot.”
Maybe Buck doesn’t want to be Eddie’s soulmate. He’d never considered that. He’s been distant ever since they left the hospital.
“Okay…” Buck moves closer to Eddie. Now he can feel the warmth radiating from Buck’s body. It’s comforting. It’s what Eddie’s been wanting.
Buck puts on an episode of ‘The Vampire Diaries.’ Which makes Eddie’s heart ache.
He remembers telling Buck a couple years ago that his sisters forced him to watch The Vampire Diaries and it quickly became a comfort show for him and his sisters.
It’s nice to know that Buck remembers a little thing he mentioned years ago in passing.
After half an episode, Buck falls asleep. Eddie takes Buck’s laptop, closes it and places it on his nightstand.
As soon as the barrier of the laptop is removed, Buck shuffles down under the covers, curling toward Eddie on instinct.
Eddie immediately feels more serene. Which…almost always happens when Eddie is close to Buck.
Buck wakes up to the alarm of his phone in his pocket. When he gets up, he realizes that he fell asleep…in Eddie’s bed. And he currently, halfway on top of Eddie with his arm slung over his waist.
Buck snatches his arm and moves back swiftly. He takes his phone out of his pocket and turns off the alarm. After that he looks at Eddie to find him already looking at him.
“Hey sleepy head.”
“Uh hey…sorry. I didn’t mean to fall asleep in your bed.” Buck sits up against the pillows.
“I don’t mind. You looked relaxed. I was relaxed.” Eddie shrugs.
“Yeah, I mean, your bed is obviously more comfortable than the couch.”
“Mmm, what was the alarm for?”
“Oh uh…I set it to check on you. Status report?”
Eddie huffs out a laugh, “Status report? You gonna bring out the clipboard?”
“Do I need to? I will.” Buck eyes him.
Eddie displays his arm as best as he can, trying hard not to strain. “It only hurts when I move too fast…or too much.”
“How about the ankle?”
Eddie looks down at his covered legs. “Not that bad, and the ribs are definitely still sore.”
“Seems normal. It’s only been a day.” Buck clears his throat, “I should probably go.”
“What? You got somewhere better to be?” Eddie doesn’t mean for it to come off as defensive as it does.
“No, I meant like, to the living room.”
“Why would you go be lonely in the living room when you have excellent company right here?” Eddie raises an eyebrow.
“Just don’t wanna intrude.”
“Buck, you’re not intruding, you’re just being…with me.”
“Yeah, okay.”
A couple hours later Buck leaves to go pick Chris up from school. Leaving Eddie at home by himself. Only his thoughts keep him company.
Later in the evening they all eat pizza, Eddie’s choice, because he wanted Buck to have a break from cooking.
After they eat, Chris goes to his room, and Buck helps Eddie back to bed.
“You sleeping out there? On the couch?”
“I mean, yeah. That’s where I usually sleep.” Buck chuckles.
“Or you could stay in here—sleep in here. You slept good earlier, right?”
“Yeah, but uh…”
“I mean, you don’t have to, but wouldn’t it make more sense? You know, because I’m injured and if I need help then you’ll already be here so—”
“I—but don’t you need your space? You know…to get better—to heal?”
“There’s plenty of space for the both of us.”
“You sure you won’t be—”
“Buck. If you say you don’t want me to be uncomfortable one more time…I would feel better if you stayed.”
“Okay.” Buck nods. “I’ll stay, if that’s what you want. Whatever you want.”
“Okay.” Eddie clears his throat. “Thanks.”
Buck doesn’t move from Eddie’s doorway.
“Buck…the bed is over here.”
“Right.” Buck gets in on the other side of the bed, and a wave of relief comes over Eddie as soon as he gets under the covers.
Buck, again, is laying closer to the edge of the bed. Eddie takes initiative by grabbing Bucks arm and pulling him towards the center of the center of the bed.
“Buck, I’m really tired. I want to sleep so I need you to listen to me.” He waits until Buck’s eyes find his, “It is not possible for you to make me uncomfortable, okay?” Eddie states sleepily.
“Okay.” Buck breathes out.
Eddie’s already halfway asleep when he adds, “You are my comfort.” He mumbles as he drifts off to sleep.
Buck wakes up in the middle of the night. He heard movement in the kitchen. So, he gets up and heads that way.
“Oh, hey Chris.” Chris jumps a little, “Sorry.”
Chris picks up a cup from the cabinet. “I thought you left. Where’d you go?”
“Oh, um…I was in your dad’s room—just so I could be close. You know, if something happens.” Buck explains.
Chris squints his eyes at him. “Sure Buck.”
“What do you mean, ‘sure Buck.’”
“You’re saying the only reason you’re sleeping with dad is for his health?”
“Yeah? What other reason is there?”
“I can think of one.” Chris mutters.
“Uh, what was that?”
“Nothing.”
“What’re you doing up anyway? You got school tomorrow.”
“I’m aware. I was just getting a cup of water.” Chris slightly lifts his cup as he heads to the doorway.
“Okay, see you in the morning, goodnight, buddy.”
“Night Buck.”
Buck walks back down the hallway to Eddie’s room, slowly opening the door trying not to wake Eddie. But when he opens the door Eddie’s already awake and on his phone.
“Hey.” Eddie puts his phone down on his nightstand. “Where—why’d you leave?”
“Just checking on Chris.” Buck leans against the doorframe. “Why are you awake?”
“Bed felt…empty. You coming back?”
“You still want me here?”
“Buck, get in bed.”
“Okay…” He shuts the door and gets back in bed.
Over the next two weeks or so, Eddie has invited Buck to join him in the bed because of convenience. Of course, Buck accepted every time.
During their new arrangement, lines started to blur. Usually when they would go to bed close but not touching. They would wake up cuddling and pull away from each other when they woke up.
This is how the most recent time they woke up wrapped in each other’s arms went.
It was Saturday morning. Chris was over at Hen and Karen’s for the weekend leaving Buck and Eddie on their own.
Eddie’s ribs are pretty much healed and his bicep is fine but not fully healed. He still feels pain when he stretches it too much.
His ankle is at about fifty percent. So, he’s still relieved of work until his doctor says he’s good to go back.
Chimney was kind enough to have Buck working twenty-fours since his FMLA was over so he could still keep an eye on Eddie.
Eddie’s been awake for a little bit, his mind going over the last few weeks as he’s on the edge of falling asleep again. That feeling of always wanting to be around Buck. Of just wanting to be with Buck.
The level of comfort that he’s never had with anyone else. The intimacy of the showers Buck’s given him. How loved he feels during and after them.
Buck wakes up with his face smushed into Eddie’s neck and one of his legs thrown over Eddie’s lap. Eddie has fingers running up and down his back.
When Buck looked at Eddie, he was very relaxed and going in and out of sleep himself.
Buck must’ve moved a little too much because Eddie finally noticed that he was up.
“Morning.”
“Uh…good morning, Eddie.”
Buck begins to try and shuffle out of Eddie’s space, but he’s restricted. Eddie’s hand that’s on Buck’s back is holding him in place.
“Can we just…stay like this? Just for a little while.”
Buck sinks back into Eddie, his head falling on his chest, and oh.
Wait.
The heartbeat.
Buck can hear Eddie’s heart beating.
Of course he can. Eddie is obviously alive. And yes, they’ve definitely checked each other’s pulse before, but Buck never allowed himself to really listen. So that’s what he does.
Buck listens to the sound of Eddie’s heart beating. And it’s…the same. Exactly the same as the echo that Buck once lost.
Buck scrambles off of the bed, trying not to lose his balance in the process.
“Buck? What? Are you okay?”
“You knew? This—this whole time you.” Buck pants, his words not coming out as easily as they should.
Eddie sits up in his bed. “What are you talking about? Knew what.”
“Eddie—You…”
“Buck, take a breather. Come back to bed.”
“No—I… I don’t—Eddie. Why would you not tell me?”
“Oh my God. Tell you what Buck? You’re not giving me any context.”
“That we’re soulmates!” Buck manages to get out. He watches as Eddie’s expression falls which tells him everything he needs to know.
“Buck, I—” Eddie starts.
Buck lets out a breath of a laugh even though he finds no humor in the situation.
“You’ve known for years Eddie. You had me here playing house with you, taking Chris to school every morning, cooking dinner every night, sleeping with you. And you knew.”
“Buck...”
“Save it.”
“Buck, just let me—”
Before Eddie could finish Buck’s out the door.
Eddie knows he didn’t leave since he didn’t hear the front door, but he did hear the back door. Probably still wanting to make sure Eddie’s cared for.
When Buck walks out the back door he quickly goes to his contacts and clicks one. The phone call connects on the first ring.
“Buck?” A voice comes through his phone.
“Maddie—I…shit I—”
“Evan, can you take a breath for me?”
Buck listens, breathing in and out a couple times before he calms himself. “Maddie…”
“What happened? Are you okay?”
“Eddie… Eddie’s my soulmate.”
“That’s great! Oh my God, I knew it.”
“Maddie…”
“I’m confused… Is this not a good thing? What’s wrong?”
“He didn’t tell me Maddie. After the lightning strike, I literally died. His echo would’ve been gone and he didn’t say anything.”
“Well, at that time both of you were ‘straight.’ Eddie still is unless he came out and I didn’t know. But how would he, a straight man, tell you, another straight man, that you’re romantic soulmates?”
“I—”
“Not done. It could also be possible that Eddie wasn’t sure if you were soulmates or not. And if I’m not mistaken, you thought Eddie was your soulmate because his heart rate stopped at that one call?”
“Yes?”
“So why didn’t you tell him?”
“Because I…”
“You didn’t know for sure?”
“Yeah…”
“Buck, you also have to keep in mind that Eddie has thought of himself as a straight man his whole life. Something like this could make you think you never knew yourself at all. These past years he’s probably been battling with his sexuality, not trying to keep secrets from you.”
Buck doesn’t respond.
“Buck?”
“Oh… I’m so stupid.”
“Maybe you should just go talk to him. Hear him out and…apologize.”
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m gonna do that. Thank you, Maddie.”
“Of course, and…I’m really glad that Eddie’s your soulmate.”
“Me too. Love you, bye bye.”
“Love you too Buck. Bye.”
Buck paces in the living room for a while, trying to get his thoughts together. Trying to figure out how to approach the situation, how to apologize.
“Buck.”
Buck startles for a second and looks at Eddie. Eddie who has his arm under a crutch and is leaning on the wall.
Buck rushes up to help Eddie. “Eddie, why are you up? Your ankle.”
“It’s fine.” Buck leads Eddie to the couch.
“It’s not fine.” Buck stands.
“Buck, look, I—”
“Eddie, you don’t need to. I—”
“Can I just explain? Explain why I didn’t say anything?”
“Yeah, sorry. Go ahead.”
Eddie lets out a sigh. “When you…when you died, I did hear the echo of my soulmate disappear. I heard it fade as I tried to bring life back to your body. I didn’t let myself believe that you were my soulmate because I’m straight. And as far as I knew, you were too. And this…this isn’t how I was raised. This isn’t how I grew up. I’m not—I’m not supposed to…”
Silence takes over the room for a second.
Eddie continues. “When I saw how you were looking at me at the hospital. That’s when I knew for sure. You had the same look of hope, despair and fear that I had. After these couple of weeks, I found myself wanting to be around you more. Seeing how you care for me. How you care for Christopher. It only made my feelings more adamant to myself.”
Eddie tries to blink away his tears, which doesn’t work so he just lets them fall. “During my time in Texas I had a few realizations. I think I’ve been feeling this way for a long time, but I didn’t know what to make of it. And I swear I wanted to tell you, but I didn’t know how. It’s hard for me to talk about my feelings.”
Eddie takes a deep breath in and out. “I need to tell you something.”
Buck nods. “Okay.” Buck sits on the couch next to Eddie and wipes away his tears with his thumb.
“I’m gay.” Eddie says shakily.
Buck wraps his arms around Eddie. “Thank you for telling me. And I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to force you to come out to me.”
“You didn’t force me to do anything, Buck.” Eddie says when he comes out of the hug.
“I do owe you an apology though.” Buck lets out a breath. “I’m sorry, Eddie, for everything. I’m sorry for yelling at you. I’m sorry I didn’t realize what me being your soulmate means for you. I’m sorry that I didn’t see how much you were struggling on your own because of that information.”
“Thank you. That really means a lot to me.”
Silence once again overcomes the room.
“So, we’re soulmates.” Buck says.
Eddie laughs a little. “Guess so.”
“So what—what does this mean for us?”
“What do you think it means?”
“I mean, I know what I want it to mean but…”
“But what?” Eddie sits up a little. “Tell me what you want.”
“You. I want you, Eddie.”
“Buck—”
“Eddie, I've wanted you for so long.”
“Buck—”
“I’ve been in love with you for so long. And I want you to know that I’m not saying this to try and convince you to—”
This time Eddie interrupts him by planting his lips on Buck’s. It takes a second for Buck to react, but he gets there fairly quickly.
The kiss is slow and careful. Buck’s lips are soft and warm. Eddie cradles Buck’s face in his hands while Buck’s hands get comfortable on Eddie’s waist.
Neither of them knows how long they’ve been kissing but they do part eventually.
“Stay.” Eddie says. “Move in with me. Be my boyfriend.”
“You actually want to be with me?”
“Yes Buck.”
“Okay.”
They sit together on the couch for a little while. Trading chaste kisses.
“Hey.” Eddie says. “When I’m all healed…”
“Yeah?”
“Will the showers stop?”
Buck grins and lets out a laugh. “Eddie.” He laughs again.
“Don’t laugh.”
“Eddie, I thought you were gonna say something serious.”
“This is serious. Answer the question, Buckley.”
“You like when I shower you?”
“Obviously.”
“What do you like about it?” Buck hasn’t stopped grinning.
“Buck.” Eddie drags out his name. “Yes or no?”
“Come on Eddie. Why don’t you want the showers to stop?”
Eddie stays silent for a moment. “You—You’re just so careful and so meticulous. And so gentle, it’s—you just make me feel so cared for, so loved.”
Buck responds by kissing Eddie again. “No, to answer your question. The showers won’t stop.”
“Good.” Eddie smiles. “I love you. Heart and soul.” Eddie kisses him again.
“Heart and soul.” Buck repeats in a whisper against his lips.