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Ena, Mizuki, and Kanade were sitting in Sekai together. It wasn’t an unusual sight, despite their missing member—of the four of them, Mafuyu was the most likely to be caught up by some prior commitment (and to attend it, he’d pointedly shoot towards Mizuki).
The topic had, somehow, come to the topic of periods.
Again, not unusual, as Ena had a very strange obsession with bitching about her “monthly demonic summoning.”
What was unusual was Kanade taking part in the discussion; usually she tuned the topic out. Well, she tuned most topics out. Unfortunately, due to the… circumstances… of her presence here (that being the threat of total confiscation of all electronic devices by Mafuyu), boredom had forced her hand.
Ena, whose obsession was only ever indulged by Mafuyu in a strictly medical way, demanded to gripe about Kanade’s experiences as well. Kanade, reasonably—with how much stress she’s under and how little she cares for herself, the anemic bastard—off-handedly mentioned that she hadn’t noticed having her period in a while.
This was Niigo’s first mistake.
—
“Maybe Mafuyu got you pregnant,” Mizuki teases in her signature Mizuki way, voice lilting through every syllable.
Kanade’s face turns a now-familiar shade of red—one that Ena and Mizuki see almost every time her and their collective boyfriend’s… hobbies… are brought up. “No, I—“
She’s cut off by a loud thump.
The three present Niigo members all frantically whip their heads around to see the only yellow-haired boy in Sekai sprawled across the white floor (tile? Concrete? Magical pixel formation?), posed like a certain meme from a certain American cartoon.
“…Len?” Ena asks, the first to break from their collective stupor, “Are you okay?”
“KANADE IS PREGNANT?!” Len shrieks, an unholy amount of fear in his voice. Virtual Singers were representations of their creators, sure, but even Mafuyu probably didn’t hold that much raw horror within him. Probably.
Mizuki lets out a noise.
It’s certainly a noise. Kanade the musical genius, Ena the talented artist, and Mafuyu the expert lyricist all working together could not even begin to encapsulate its existence. The closest possible description is somewhere between a drowning donkey and a literal gunshot.
“No, Len, honey, that’s not—“ the artist begins, only to be cut off by another inhuman gargle from Mizuki.
The brown-haired girl tries again. “Len…”
“Yes?” He asks more meekly than usual.
“Len, what the fuck.”
This is clearly the wrong thing to say. Ena’s not entirely sure she cares right now.
Len’s blue eyes (buy him brown contacts PLEASE I am SHAKING) immediately widen, in the way that only old nightcore thumbnail anime boys can achieve. His robotic voice stumbles over the words in a way that would be cute if the current situation wasn’t utterly mortifying. “I—Rin told me!”
Kanade hasn’t moved in almost a minute, now. Ena’s starting to believe she’s dead. “FUCKING HELLO?”
This is, again, the wrong thing to say. In her defense: what the fuck.
“Rin told me—she said that periods happen every month! And that the only way to stop it is with medication or pregnancy! And… and Kanade never takes her meds anyway, so—“ another wheeze from Mizuki. Seriously, if she doesn’t die of asphyxiation, Ena will kill her after this conversation is over. Her and Rin, maybe.
“Maybe Kanade just forgot!” Ena scrambles for the easy explanation, already searching for ways to avoid explaining the intricacies of the female reproductive system to this poor robot-thing boy. “Sometimes I forget I’ve had my period some months even when I did.”
Her silver-haired girlfriend, ever the dissociated angel, is tuned into the conversation just enough to give the most unhelpful possible reply.
“The last time I had my period was when Mizuki dragged us to the park and it started raining. I remember, because I thought to myself, ‘this day can’t possibly get any worse,’ and then it did.”
“Kanade, that was four months ago.”
“Oh.”
Len wails again. Kanade’s eyes glaze over. Mizuki is dying, probably. Ena can’t even hear the noises she’s making anymore; she’s sure they’re somewhere in the range that only dogs can hear.
“She’s not pregnant!”
“But… Luka told me when a boy and a girl love each other very much—and I know you all love each other very much, but Luka told me Kanade and Mafuyu love each other in a special way—“
“Oh my fucking Miku no. Please. To any god that’s out there: not me. Please.”
“I’m not ready to be an uncle!” He cries.
Kanade falls face-first into the ground.
“Len, I—Mafuyu can’t even… he can’t get Kanade pregnant,” Ena tries, already-fried brain from several consecutive all-nighters working overtime to even process the current situation. “He’s a boy, yes, but he used to be a girl. Mizuki is the opposite. If she wasn’t on hormone blockers, she could probably get Kanade pregnant.”
“BUT GIRLS CAN’T GET GIRLS PREGNANT!”
Kaito, who happens to be wandering around in the background, glances over at the commotion with a look of disgust so profound that even Mafuyu, when they first met him in Sekai, would be afraid. He intelligently decides to wander away faster. Ena can’t blame him.
“Mafuyu can’t get… he wasn’t always a boy, y’see, and—“
“Mizuki told me that Mafuyu was always a boy, much like she was always a girl,” Rin helpfully supplies, popping up out of nowhere, likely for comedic effect. Or to torture Ena. Same difference, at this point.
Ena Shinonome, in the span of two seconds, goes through the six stages of grief (the normal five plus depression two: electric boogaloo, of course).
“Rin,” she begins, voice concerningly calm. “You know what you’re doing, don’t you?”
The yellow-haired girl’s slight smirk tells her everything she needed to know.
With all the grace of a block of concrete being dragged atop another, larger block of concrete, Ena turns to stare the shyer of the Kagamines in the eyes.
“I can’t believe you’re making me do this,” she whispers. It’s unclear who this comment is directed to.
She takes a deep breath.
“When boys and girls reach a certain age—“
—
Mafuyu enters Sekai. This is not a novel occurrence. In fact, it happens multiple times a week. Today, however, is different. He can sense it, much like how one can sense the slight change in air pressure that signals a storm.
The first thing he notices is the screaming in the distance. This is not normal, but not entirely unusual; Ena and Mizuki usually keep their banter outside of Sekai, but the occasional instance of one of their numerous arguments isn’t too odd.
As the white, crystalline triangles clear from his vision, the second thing he notices is a shock of pink.
It isn’t the soft, curly, coral locks of his taller girlfriend—rather, it’s the smooth, bright strands of a moderately smug Luka (more smug than usual, which is saying something).
Mafuyu’s eyes narrow.
“Luka.”
“Mafuyu!” She chirps. Miku stands silently behind her, waving slightly.
More shouting. Mafuyu tries to crane his head to peer around the pink-haired woman, but she shifts her stance, blocking his view once more.
“What are you doing?”
“What aren’t I doing?”
“…That’s not helpful.”
“I know!”
Miku tugs at Luka’s sleeve lightly before turning to look at the lyricist.
“Mafuyu. You… should go.”
“Why?” He tilts his head, blank concern beginning to grow in his gaze, “What’s going on?”
Luka’s smile doesn’t fall. “You don’t wanna know.”
“Ena is suffering.”
The lack of urgency in the Vocaloid’s voices are… confusing, at the very least. Something about this indicates to Mafuyu a very embarrassing predicament.
He decides to investigate.
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you!” Luka chirps after him as he moves towards the commotion by the lake.
There’s a sort of… constriction in his chest as he walks.
He pauses for a moment. It gets stronger.
He continues walking. It loosens.
He decides he likes this constriction. It feels… oddly desirable. Like it’s driving him to look forward to something.
That something, Mafuyu decides as his girlfriends come into view, was not remotely close to what he expected. Which is saying a lot, considering the last time he thought that, Mizuki’s hair was green.
Ena is flushed a bright red. He would assume this is because of Mizuki, if it weren’t for the fact that the girl in question was rolling around on the floor, face turning pale and blue from lack of oxygen.
Kanade is lying prone on the ground. She doesn’t seem to be moving.
Len is… he looks paler than Kanade. His eyes stare off into a blank nothingness—more blank than the empty Sekai can offer.
“…There are, of course, exceptions, even with only two sex chromoso—Mafuyu! Please help,” his only coherent girlfriend pleads.
Mafuyu just tilts his head. To anyone else, this would seem apathetic. To his girlfriends, he’s more shocked than a chicken touching a live wire.
“What, exactly, am I helping you with?”
“Right, so… um…” Ena begins, before she’s helpfully interrupted by (an also slightly red) Rin: “Len thought you got Kanade pregnant!”
Any response Mafuyu could possibly formulate is shut down in an instant by a horrid robotic shriek.
“KANADE’S PREGNANT!?” Cries poor Meiko, having been left out of the loop this whole time.
Ena joins Kanade on the ground.
Mizuki is still dying, probably.