Chapter Text
Quackity smirked as he finished setting the table with food (which he hadn't cooked himself); it was only a matter of time before his guests arrived to whiteness his master plan. "They don't call me Mister Sexyman for nothing." Quackity muttered to himself, quite happy with his plan.
"I don't think anyone calls you that, but alright." A deep, familiar voice spoke. Quackity looked towards the door and saw Ranboo awkwardly standing next to Fundy, apparently Quackity hadn't been alone.
"Oh, sorry you two, I didn't hear you come in. Come sit down, your legs must be tired!" Quackity felt a bit ashamed that he hadn't noticed a tall-ass enderman and a fucking fox walk into his house.
"It's alright, you were busy. Plus, I do a lot of standing around." Ranboo reassured his exhausted friend, who knew very well he could potentially end up killing him.
If only those two wild animals knew...
...That someone is gonna die tonight.
"Hey guys! It's not very often that I'm early to these things!" An even more familiar voice exclaimed, Quackity knew it was his good friend Slimecicle.
"Good to see you too." Quackity smiled, slightly pulling a chair for his friend.
"I hope I wasn't supposed to bring something, because I completely forgot to make cookies." Slimecicle glanced at Quackity apologetically.
"No no no, it's alright, I've got enough food here for everyone!" Quackity assured him, handing a chicken leg to Fundy, who looked as if he was about to eat the whole goddamn table.
Knowing how many wild animal-creatures were gonna be here, it was probably a good thing one of them would die.
Or at least they'd loose a life.
One less life to worry about.
Quackity hadn't gone mad yet, but if he knew anything about psychopathy, he wasn't doing very good mentally. Once Quackity had finally set down the last dish of food, now all he had to do was wait for the guests.
"Sorry we're late," A loud, obnoxious, British voice broke the silence- Quackity could only identify it as Tommy's. "Tubbo needed help with his stupid pig-child thing. Honestly he should've asked Ranboo for help, but who am I to judge their gay fucking parenting skills?" The Brit went on as he sat down next to Fundy.
"That's okay, you're not 'late'. If anything, you're early!" Quackity assured Tommy, then turned his attention to Tubbo, who had been awkwardly standing beside Ranboo the whole time Tommy had been speaking. "Ranboo, can we have a little chat outside?" Tubbo asked his husband, still standing up.
"I mean, we can go stand outside if that's what you want," Ranboo answered, Quackity could tell that the enderman was tense as he continued, "But I'd rather sit here, since almost everyones here. Where's Michael, by the way?" Ranboo was suddenly aware that his child wasn't present.
"That's what I wanted to talk about! I left him with Techno because he isn't feeling well. ALSO, would you mind explaining why Michael keeps singing about two trucks having sex?" Tubbo asked, already knowing the answer.
"I, uhh, wait- you left him with Techno? Didn't we say we weren't gonna do tha-"
"Well you need to learn that Lemon Demon isn't fucking Beethoven!" Tubbo yelled, sitting down beside Ranboo as Fundy whined with fear.
"Jesus Christ what the hell? Did I just watch a fucking soap opera? 'Cuz that shit was loco!" Quackity joked, lightening the mood as Wilbur, Karl, and Sapnap arrived.
"Oh hey guys! Sit down, sit down, we haven't started eating yet!" Quackity's mood changed quickly, presenting himself as a gentleman infront of his crush.
"Thank you Quackity, what a nice way of telling us we're late." Wilbur smiled, sitting down next to Tommy- who was concerningly playing with a butter knife.
"Thanks for inviting us, I didn't really expect to be seeing you for a while!" Sapnap joked as he sat down in the chair next to Wilbur, motioning for Karl to sit next to him.
Quackity sat down in the one remaining chair between Tubbo's and Karl's, presenting happy and handsome outwardly, but on the inside- he was freaking out.
'I can't kill Sapnap, he's still my friend, right? I wouldn't kill my friend just to have a chance with my crush, would I? I can't kill Tommy either, I'd feel horrible. Oh shit, maybe this wasn't a good plan. I hope its really dark when the lights go off. I'd hate to watch either of them die.' Quackity thought, staring at Wilbur with admiration and lust.
"Let's eat, boys!" Quackity threw his problems to the side, knowing he could deal with it after the murder.