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“Why are we doing this again?” Gabriel asked, slumping against Sam on the couch. Sam linked an arm around Gabriel’s shoulder, bringing the disgruntled angel closer as they got comfortable on the large, Sam-sized sofa.
“Because I promised Charlie I’d make you watch them. Besides, I like them too,” Sam said, pressing play on the remote. Hedwig’s Theme crooned from the speakers and Gabriel huffed in defeat, pulling a green blanket over the two of them as he settled into the Harry Potter marathon.
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone
When James and Lily were killed, Gabriel slid a look to Sam. He wanted to ask if Sam liked the movies so much because he could relate, could see himself in an orphaned boy whose fate was decided when he was just a baby, powerless to stop the chaos that fell around him. Harry was given a scar by his parents’ killer. Sam was given demon blood. Gabriel did not know which was the lesser of the evils, but he kept all of these questions to himself.
--
"What’s all of this Slytherin hate? What’s wrong with being cunning?"
“You would be a Slytherin.”
“You bet your ass, I would be. And your gigantor self would be right there with me.”
“You think so?”
“Probably. If not, Ravenclaw. But my money is on Slytherin.”
“Fine with me.
--
The rest of the movie whirled by in a flurry of magic and mystery, and well, Gabriel’s seen worse things.
“The book’s even better.”
“That’s usually how it goes.”
“Would you, y’know, read them? I have all of them.”
Gabriel snorted. “Oh, the things I do for love.”
Sam grinned.
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
“Can I whomp your willow later, Sam?”
“Not with that line.”
--
“So there’s an entire fucking chamber, and no one can find it? Like, no one is even bothering looking for it again a second time? Powerful witches and wizards my ass. Maybe Voldemort deserves to win.”
“Gabriel, you’re missing the point.”
“The point being that the world’s largest anaconda is slithering around and no one has been able to find it? How has it even lived for so long? Wouldn’t someone notice it being fed over all those years?”
“Gabriel.”
“Yeah, yeah, shutting up.”
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
“I…really don’t understand how the school is still open. They got attacked by a giant snake that nearly killed people, and now there’s a murderer running around the campus. I can’t see how any school board would accept that.”
“Just roll with it, Gabe.”
--
“That is the saddest looking werewolf I have ever seen. Also, totally called it.”
“Sure did, Gabriel.”
--
“Wait a fucking minute. So this whole time, Dumbledore had this time changing thingy that can take him back in time. Why didn’t he go back in time to when Voldemort was a kid? Kill his ass and save the world. And then presto, all of this would be solved. I mean, I think that’s a little more important than making sure that Hermione can take all fifty of her classes in one year, don’tcha think?”
“Gabriel. Just watch the movie.”
“I am watching it. It’s not my fault that it doesn’t make sen-"
Sam elbowed him in the ribs harder than necessary, and Gabriel shut up, but not before shooting Sam a dirty look.
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
“Oh, how convenient! Of course Harry’s name would be added to the goblet! Feh, so predictable.”
“Quiet, Gabe.”
--
“Hagrid is half-giant? Do I even wanna know how that worked?”
“Probably not.”
--
Gabriel remained distinctly quieter during the rest of the fourth movie, seemingly enjoying the action and the darker tone. If he had any derisive comments, he kept them to himself.
That is, until the end.
“Why doesn’t he have a nose?”
“He’s supposed to look snake-like.”
“That face is an insult to snakes everywhere.”
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
“I’m Team Luna. She can fight Voldemort while leading an army of threstrals. Please tell me that’s how the series ends.”
--
“Cat lady’s a bitch.”
“Yep.”
--
“Bitch got what’s coming to her.”
As centaurs carried Umbridge away into the forest, Sam could only laugh in agreement.
--
“Damn. All of Harry’s family’s gotta die, don’t they. Sucks to be him.”
Sam grunts an agreement, and Gabriel frowns.
“Why don’t they just use the their little time machine necklace to go back and time and prevent this?”
“…I don’t know, because that would defeat the purpose?”
“Blah.”
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
“Too much romance, not enough magical wonders and shit.”
“I kinda agree.”
“Yawn. Wake me up when something exciting happens.
--
For once, Gabriel remained oddly quiet and sullen when Dumbledore fell, seemingly out of the sky, to his death. Sam didn’t ask, but he understood. Sometimes you saw yourself or another loved one in these things, more than you bargained for.
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt. 1
“They had to kill the owl? Really? Lame.”
--
“Dumbledore should have come back as a ghost to help. Seriously, sending kids out into the great wide universe? Nothing good can come from this.”
--
“See what I mean? It makes people crazy and storm off. And have weird dancing scenes in tents, apparently.”
--
“Dobby, you self-sacrificing little shit.”
“Kind of like you, huh?”
“If you ever compare me to a house elf again, you’re going to regret it.”
“I’m just saying, I see the resemblance in the height…”
They missed the last ten minutes of the movie as Gabriel waged an epic tickle war.
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt. 2
“Free the dragons! Free all of them!”
--
“Lock an entire group of students into the dungeon because one girl spoke out? Yeah, that sounds fair. Psh. Anti-Slytherin bias all up in here.”
--
“Wow. Slaughterfest, much?”
“Yep.”
“So let me get this straight. Harry just lost a crap-ton of friends and family over the years, most of them in the span of the day, and he’s expected to just pick up his life from there?”
“Pretty much.”
“Huh.”
Gabriel fell quiet as the last credits rolled across the screen with heavy finality. He stroked his fingers over Sam’s before lacing them together, squeezing softly.
“Good thing he’s not alone then.”