Chapter Text
Once upon a time, there was a girl. The girl was unlike all the others in the land for she possessed a unique power within her that proclaimed her to be the saintess of the God of Fate. The god took her into HIS temple, taught her the ways of the world and her mission within it. Throughout the land, there stood five lords who sought to dethrone the god and take HIS place. HE tasked the saintess with a mission to slay the lords for their hubris and put an end to their blasphemy. The saintess undertook the mission willingly as it was a decree from the one who had l̴͇̿̌͂̆̇ọ̸̗͕̻̪͂̅̌̋̔͐ṽ̴̢́̊̾̕e̵̮̤͗̉̒͠d̵̢͚̟͆ her since the day she awoke as HIS saintess.
Day after day, she strove to uphold the vows she’d made before her god.
Night after night, she watched as the world slowly passed her by.
Battle after battle, she… she began to question.
As each lord welcomed her into his home, not a whisper of malice in sight, she hesitated. Were the lords truly as horrible as the god claimed? Were they truly power hungry villains seeking to usurp the god’s throne? From how kindly they treated her- ḱ̸̝i̵̥̾n̴̘̄d̴̙̏ë̷͉r̵͓̔ ̴͍́t̴̰̊h̵̡̅ä̶̦́n̶̛̺ ̷̼̒t̸̅͜h̴̺͑e̸̼͛ ̶̩͒g̵̡͠ô̴̠d̴̤́- she couldn’t help but wonder if there had been a mistake.
Yet, come the morning of their fated battle, none of the lords would yield.
They fought until only one remained standing and even when her blade kissed their necks, they all refused to say why. Instead, they each offered her a blessing.
“May you never fear the darkness,” the star-kissed lord whispered, his touch ghosting over the bare expanse of her throat.
“May you never be lonely,” the ocean-adorned lord soothed, his palm burning warm over her heart.
“May you never lose your way,” the frost-veiled lord breathed, chilled touch firm as he squeezed her left wrist as though to reassure her.
“May you never be burdened by pain,” the shadow-cloaked lord purred, long fingers oh so easily ensnaring her right wrist and forcing the blade forward.
They… none of them resented her for killing them. They were her enemy and she was theirs and yet they never once seemed to hate her as they did her patron. It was only as the day of her destined final battle arrived that something shifted.
“I won’t lose,” the fifth and final lord- the one who smelled of apples and called her ‘angel’- as he took his place across from her in the ancient arena. “I have someone I must protect.”
She couldn’t say why, but his words startled her. Just as with the previous lords, he had welcomed her with open arms and showed her a side of the world she’d never known before. He was kind and caring despite knowing the mission she had been given and who she had already slain. It was as though he’d gone through it all before. The night before the final battle, she laid awake and pondered. The lord had promised to take her somewhere after her mission was complete, to a land where no god could reach. It was the same kind of promise each of the lords had made before they fell to her blade, but there was a sort of desperation to his words.
Now, standing before that same man, she found herself hesitating.
Her hesitation, however, came at the cost of her dearest companion.
It was a blow meant for her, one that would have ended the fight for good. It was one she should have been able to parry but she had been too distracted to notice amidst the onslaught of his flying blades. Then she found herself being pushed out of the way and could only watch in horror as her companion took the attack meant for her and collapsed. It was different from when she had watched the life drain from the lords’ eyes and they drew their final breaths. There were no words of consultation or whispered blessings, only silence and the sound of a heart breaking.
“AHHHHHHHHHHHH-!!!!”
The power that slept within her burst forth, flooding the land in a blistering golden light. It tore through the fields, burned through the forests, stirred the rivers and oceans into a frenzy, and ravaged every piece of civilization it came across. The very core of the planet shook with the force of her grief, the earth splitting open as it wept molten tears. Tears that matched the first ones to ever cascade down her cheeks as she threw down her sword to clutch at her friend.
“Please don’t leave me!” she wept brokenly. “Please! I can’t lose you too!”
Never, not once since she had become the saintess had she felt such a soul crushing pain. She hadn’t even realized she was capable of feeling so much until that moment and she hated it. What was the point? Why couldn’t she have felt something real when it was a moment of happiness? Why now-?!
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, angel,” the apple-scented lord lamented as he knelt at her side, his blades clattering to the ground. “I didn’t mean to-”
*shink-!*
She moved like a predator who had been starving for the kill. Grabbing the first thing within her reach, she twisted and drove the make-shift weapon into the lord’s chest. Boiling blood sprayed over her, marring her snowy pale skin and holy vestments in crimson, but she didn’t care. The lord had killed her friend. Her sole reason for continuing on with the meaningless life she’d been forced into. She had planned to live quietly with her precious companion once her mission was over. The lord had stolen that from her-!
Arms rose and encircled her, pulling her closer and burying the weapon deeper into his chest. A choked sound escaped the girl as she tried to make sense of what the man was doing. She sat stiff in his embrace as a hand rose to gently pet her hair. “M-may y-you never f-feel powerless,” the apple-scented lord gasped, his other hand coming to rest between her shoulder blades. “I’m s-so sorry, angel. Please, f-forgive me.”
That… that didn’t make sense. Why was he begging for her forgiveness? Shouldn’t that be her part to play? She was the one killing the lords all on the command of a god who had stolen everything from her. She… she was just a tool of a god’s whims, wasn’t she?
“Don’t,” she whimpered. “Don’t ask that of me. I’m not Human-”
“You are!” the lord- no, the kind man who insisted she call him ‘big brother’ exclaimed. “You aren’t a toy made to play that bastard’s game! You aren’t flawless! You are broken and we love you regardless.”
We. We as in the five lords? Had they… been on her side the whole time? But she was the saintess of the God of Fate they all despised. They should have seen her as an enemy. So why?
“I don’t understand.”
A sigh whispered, heavy and thick against her ear. “I know, angel. We wanted to tell you, but, if we had tried, HE would have intervened again.”
Again?
Before she could press for more, the man slumped. Her hands hovered awkwardly between them, unsure of what to do. She had… succeeded? The fifth lord had been felled by her hands which meant her mission was complete. She should have felt elation, yet all she felt was cold dread. It curdled in her veins and constricted her heart without care for the torment she found herself drowning in.
Then the weight upon her lessened. The apple-scented man tilted to collapse to the arena’s broken floor in a lifeless heap. All she could do was watch as he- or rather, his body laid there as proof of her success. A success that was more bitter than sweet. Shifting closer, she gently adjusted him so he lay on his back then guided his hands to rest upon his chest and finally closed his vacant amethyst eyes that once burned with something she could never name. Her gaze lingered on the broken piece of flooring she had used to snuff out his life before she twisted to where her friend lay. Life had left them long ago, leaving behind nothing but a corpse.
Lips trembling, she reached out to trail her fingers across her friend’s still face. The warmth she’d once associated with them had been smothered by the chill of death. Her vision blurred as she bowed over them and just held them. No longer would she awaken to her friend’s gentle presence or watch as they bounded ahead of her and elicited a rare giggle from her. Life before she had met her most precious companion had been a world of black-and-white. The thought of going back to that world made a ball of lead settle in her stomach.
A ball of lead that burned with an unrelenting fury.
Drawing away, she rocked back on her heels to push upright and cast her burning silver gaze upon where the ash laden clouds blotted out the sun. “YOU who set me down this wretched path and forced me to comply, tell me this,” she beseeched, “what comes next? I have fought those five great lords who sought to dethrone YOU and lost the one dearest to me in the process, but what was it all for?”
Silence. Utter, heart-breaking silence.
“ANSWER ME!!!”
Still, silence reigned.
*ba-dump*
The pain began slowly, building with each frenzied beat of her heart. It was the power within her, she knew that much, but the way it pulsed was different. As though it was being controlled by another. A sob lodged in her throat as the burn of unfettered energy rushed through her. Blinked away the tears, she looked down at where her hands had risen to grasp at her heart and whimpered at the sight that greeted her. Across the expanse of her pale skin, molten ichor burned her veins with a golden light. It blistered from the inside out, eating at her flesh and sending an unrelenting pain scorching through her nerves.
It was a punishment. HE was punishing her. HE had never intended to give her freedom. HE wouldn’t allow her to have freedom. Not when she was HIS saintess. HIS perfect little doll.
“There never was hope at the end of this journey, was there?” she choked as the veins of molten ichor spread.
No answers came from the blackened skies above as soot and ash rained down across the tattered world. A world that the god had never truly cared about. A world where HE could rewrite the fate of thousands on some sick whim. Whatever fate HE had seen at the end of her mission, it was one where she was alone. Alone and suffering.
“It isn’t fair,” she whimpered. “It isn’t fair. What was the point of all of this?” She raised her head and screamed, “WHY WAS I EVEN BORN?!”
Her voice echoed, broken and full of emotions she couldn’t begin to understand. How could she, when she had never known what it meant to be truly alive until the end was before her? What had been her purpose if not to suffer and bring suffering in turn? Things would have been easier if she had never felt anything to begin with. If it hadn’t been for that fateful day two years ago when she stumbled upon the one who would give her life color, would she have been able to accept her fate as a soulless doll?
No. No more.
Glaring up at the sky, the girl felt her resolve grow firm. “Fine,” she spat. “Have it YOUR way then. If YOU won’t give me an answer, then let me give YOU mine.”
The glow in her veins redoubled as she coaxed her power to burn brighter. She had never truly understood what the power within her was, but she knew it wasn’t like the kind the lords possessed. No, her power was nearly on par with a god’s. It was clear in how the core of the world resonated with her that she could either recreate the world or destroy it all. She, however, wasn’t a merciless god. If anyone would succumb it would be her and her alone.
I just want the pain to stop.
A blistering golden light surged from her chest as the power within her responded to her plea. Even if she knew little about its true nature- let alone her own- she knew there was no stopping what she had started. Movements sluggish, she pivoted on unsteady feet only for her vision to tilt dangerously. Gravity took hold before she could right herself and she fell, the impact with the ground rattling her already frazzled head. Blinking in an effort to clear the blurriness she gaped upon finding herself laying beside her precious companion’s still form. Limbs leaden, she raised a hand and settled it a breath away from their body.
“I’m sorry,” she sobbed brokenly. “I’m sorry I dragged you into this mess. I’m sorry I wasn’t stronger.” Her throat constricted as a fresh wave of tears slipped from her pale lashes. “I’m sorry you died because of me.”
There was no response despite how desperately she wanted one to come. Her friend was gone. Her one reason for living was no more. Really, it only made sense to join them in whatever world lay beyond death. Even if she was scared, what else did she have to live for?
(Are you sure?)
Lips trembling, she squeezed her eyes shut as the burn of her power became too much. She just wanted it to end quickly.
(Do you really want to die?)
She… she just wanted to live a peaceful life. One without gods dictating every aspect of her being. One where she could be free to feel and be Human. A life… a life where she could be with her friend again. And yet. And yet and yet and yet-
“I… I don’t want to die.”
The power within her erupted in a flash of gold yet all she saw was darkness. Her eyes must have closed as her body gave out. After everything that had happened, she welcomed the darkness no matter how terrified it made her. The God of Fate loathed the dark because it was a domain HIS power could not touch. Perhaps darkness meant she was one step closer to escaping the god. If it was, she would gladly accept death-
‘May you never fear the darkness,’ a soft voice whispered.
A gentle, featherlight touch ghosted across her throat.
‘May you never be lonely,’ another voice soothed.
As it echoed, a presence pressed warm and familiar to her heart.
‘May you never lose your way,’ a third voice breathed.
Something akin to frost squeezed her left wrist as though to reassure her.
‘May you never be burdened by pain,’ a fourth voice purred.
Something long and powerful curled around her right wrist and squeezed so tight yet it didn’t hurt.
‘May you never feel powerless,’ a fifth voice crooned.
A gentle presence like a steadying hand pressed to the middle of her back.
She didn’t understand what was happening, but she had never felt so at peace before. Could it be that the lords had come to guide her into the afterlife? It sounded too good to be true. She must be imagining things-
(Listen, I can help you, but you have to want it. I won’t help unless you say you do.)
The voice was different from the others that reverberated around her. It sounded almost… alive. So alive that it seemed to be speaking right into her ear.
(If you want my help, then open your eyes,) it reasoned. (If you don’t, keep them closed. I’ll give you to the count of three to decide.)
What was it talking about?
(One.)
What kind of help could she possibly need?
(Two.)
She was… she was fine with giving up, right? Even if she was scared of dying, she could… she could…
(Three.)
Live.
“Gah-!”
Silver-gray eyes snapped wide as the girl sat bolt upright. Her heart hammered against the confines of her chest as her lungs screamed for air. With a gasp, she drew in a heaving breath and floundered to make sense of what had happened. I died, right? she thought shakily. I know I did. So why-?
“Oh, finally woke up, did ya?”
Her head whipped towards where the voice had come from to find a… cat? It certainly looked like a cat. A very pretty cat with the softest looking lilac-hued fur that softened to nearly white at the face and paws with a darker, spotted pattern along its sides. It sat at the edge of the barren bed she found herself upon, its dark, fluffy tail flicking back and forth as it watched her with wide yellow-blue eyes. Eyes that glowed in a way that an animal’s shouldn’t.
Blinking hard, she stared at the cat for a moment longer before finally turning to look at where exactly she was. It appeared to be a bedroom of some kind, but it was different from the rooms she was used to seeing at inns. It was… she couldn’t quite put her finger on what it was, but the room was different. Even the bed beneath her was strange. The mattress didn’t feel as though it was stuffed with feathers or wool but something soft yet firm. Slowly, she swung her legs off the side of the bed and pushed to her feet. Only to nearly collapse as a wash of dizziness that assaulted her.
“Hey! Be careful!”
Without looking, she knew the voice had come from where the cat sat, but she couldn’t believe it. Animals didn’t talk. Cats didn’t talk. She had to be imagining it. Shaking her head, too long black-and-white strands slapping her cheeks roughly, she quickly righted herself and began to walk a slow circumference around the room. As her eyes took in the space, a frown tugged at her lips. No matter how hard she searched for answers, she only found more questions. It was during her third walk around the room that she noticed a pale light seeping between a pair of thick curtains- moonlight.
Her body moved before her thoughts could comprehend the action, lunging across the room and throwing open the curtains with a flourish. The feeling of moonlight caressing her cheeks was a welcome comfort amidst the churning confusion within her. At the very least, the moon was the same. A breath rushed out of her at the realization. Only to be sucked back in just as quickly. While the moon hung in the inky, starlit sky just as she remembered, the landscape beneath it was completely foreign to her. Tall spires and massive structures made of something strangely shiny reached towards the sky, lit far too brilliantly to be from a simple torch or gas lamp. It was unlike any of the cities she had passed through during her journey, so bright and massive and reaching.
“Wh-what is this place?” she gasped.
“That’s Linkon City,” the voice explained. “You could think of it as the capital of this world.”
Slowly, very slowly, the girl pivoted to find the cat on the bed watching her with an amused glow to its eyes. It… it really had spoken, hadn’t it? It made no sense, but she couldn’t think of any alternative. “You… you can talk?” she clarified weakly.
The cat grinned- it actually grinned. “That’s right!” it chirped. “I’m quite the impressive tom cat, if I do say so myself.”
“I… see.”
She really didn’t. Cats weren’t meant to talk. Animals had never spoken to her, not once. Especially not… wait. “I heard you before,” she realized. “When I was in the darkness, I heard your voice.”
The cat nodded, lilac fur fluffing with pride. “That’s right!”
“You... helped me?” she clarified lamely.
The cat puffed out his furry little chest. “Sure did! You may praise me now!”
All she could do was stare. “Why? Why help me?”
Yellow-and-blue eyes stared at her, pupils dilating and contracting. Despite the mysterious kitten’s previous bravado, it was clear that the cat wasn't as childish as he let on. “Because it wasn’t fair,” he reasoned. “Your life, the way you were forced to live it, how it ended, none of it was fair. How could that despicable god force you to undergo so much then leave you to die alone? I couldn’t let it stand!”
She blinked in surprise. The way he spoke made his disdain clear, but it sounded as though her pain was personal to him. Strange because she didn’t know any talking cats and stranger still because she had no idea how he could have known anything about her life. “How do you know about all of that?”
The cat stood and took a moment to stretch before leaping down from the bed, rising onto his hind legs and moving to stand before her. He stared up at her, his yellow-blue eyes meeting her own silver-gray ones evenly. “I can’t give you many answers because I’m a bit unsure of everything myself,” he explained, voice open and honest. “All I know for certain is that I was born to offer you a choice: accept death or escape to a world beyond any gods’ domain. And, if you chose to escape, I was meant to guide you in this new life and ensure you wouldn’t be alone.”
It… it sounded too good to be true. She had to be dreaming.
The cat, however, seemed to sense her disbelief and made to assuage it. “It might sound insane, but the people of this world have outgrown gods.” The cat nodded towards the window behind her. “Look at it. This is a world free of any gods’ influence. Fate can be defied and rewritten by anyone here if they are willing to try.”
She stiffened. If no gods existed in the world, then did that mean she was… free? Turning back to the foreign view, she let her silver-gray eyes rove over the horizon with newfound interest. It was such a strange sight, but there was something freeing about it. The people didn’t fear a god’s retribution for building too high or keeping the world lit in the dead of night. Her heart warmed at the realization. The people of the world were free.
“Can I… really live here?”
“Of course you can!”
It really did sound too good to be true. Had she really made it to a land free of gods like the apple-scented man had promised her? Was she truly free to live how she pleased? She had no idea how to make sense of any of this-
“By the by, what’s your name?”
The girl startled from her thoughts and tore her eyes away from the view to stare at where the cat had scaled to sit upon the windowsill. “My name?”
“Yeah. My name's Jinyan.” The newly named Jinyan tilted his head, a feathered-tufted ear flicking back and forth thoughtfully. “Now that I think about it, I know quite a bit about your life, but I can’t recall your name.”
She pursed her lips, memories of the various names she received blurring before her. Most were things that she probably shouldn't consider a ‘name’ but five stood out starkly: starlight, little flower, nixie, spitfire and angel. Those were the few gifts she had ever received in her life, but the thought of anyone other than their respective bestowers using them made her stomach clench. “I don't think I have a name,” she mumbled.
The air chilled slightly as her words echoed around the barren room. Jinyan went eerily still, his two-tone eyes wide with an emotion she couldn't name. She watched on silently as the cat drew in a deep, chest rattling breath and let it out in a controlled rush. “Okay,” he sighed. “Okay. Guess that means we need to pick one out for you.”
She tilted her head at the cat, confusion simmering in her veins. “Why? I've never needed one before.”
Jinyan shook his head, ears whipping through the air so the feathered tips flared. “You deserve to have a name. It's as simple as that.”
Arguments pressed the back of her teeth, but the girl didn't let any of them loose. She didn't really know the cat that well, but she got the feeling arguing was futile. Instead, she sat down on the wide windowsill and allowed Jinyan the time to think over potential names. After a minute, he lifted his head and gave her a thoughtful look. “What was the name of that place the last lord promised to take you to?” he asked.
While startled by the sudden question, she thought back to that last night before the final battle. He had been kind enough to treat her to a home cooked meal that rivaled a noble’s feast and spoke of a land far, far away that he would take her to once everything came to an end. He had been so sincere in his promise that she had almost believed him. “He called it Avalon. He said it was an island outside the purview of the gods where golden apples grew.”
“Why don't you use that as your name?”
“Why would I do that?”
Jinyan’s gaze softened into something impossibly fond. “Because the moment you said it, you smiled.”
The girl blinked and sat up a little straighter in surprise. Had she really? A hand rose to feel at her mouth and, sure enough, the corners were lifted into a soft, wistful sort of smile. Her eyes widened. She… she couldn’t remember the last time she had smiled. The smile, however, twisted thoughtfully as she pondered his words. “Avalon is a bit of a mouthful though,” she mumbled. “Maybe something a little shorter? Like… Ava?”
“Ava, huh?” The corners of Jinyan’s little mouth lifted into what she assumed was a cat version of a smile. “It has a nice ring to it! Nice to meet you, Ava!”
He held out a paw to her as one would for a handshake. She stared at it for a moment before reaching out and gently shaking it. What a strange cat.
L-A-D-S
The full moon’s brilliance shone across the towering skyscrapers of Linkon, bathing them in its holy light. It was a sight he’d come to know over the last few years, but there was something about the sight beneath the full moon that always captivated him. Perhaps it was simply his nature, but he knew it was more than something so simple. No, it was a memory of a bygone world. While Linkon had nothing in common with that world, the moon shone the same. The same when he had basked beneath it by her side. She whose hair shone an inky black then softened to a snowy white and gazed upon the world with eyes filled with constellations. The girl to whom he swore his undying loyalty without a breath of hesitation.
“If only you could see this, my saintess,” he said, voice soft and melancholic. “You would thrive in this world, free of that bastard’s power.” He tilted his head back, amber eyes glowing in the moon’s soft light as his jaw tightened. “I miss you.”