Work Text:
On the list of things they have in common, this one is pretty high up. Stiles and Derek have not talked about any of them at first, but then they haven’t talked much in general in the early days, nor in the few years around Stiles’ senior year. From the time Derek left on the hunt for the Desert Wolf until he came back to Beacon Hills after Stiles left for college, they only had contact through other people.
After that, though, when Derek got a place in town again -- one that wasn’t broken nor had painful memories attached -- they became closer. It took time, but eventually Stiles came to the realisation that they’ve become friends. From that, it was only a matter of time until old feelings resurfaced, and Stiles’ attraction to Derek came into play again. Of course, it all came out in the most inopportune moment, in the middle of an argument. Once the words were out in the open, there was no going back, especially since Derek shouted them right back at Stiles.
Back when Stiles was still in high school, he would have jumped head first into a relationship with Derek, simply because the chance was there. After college, after several encounters with evils he’d never even dreamed of, he wasn’t so quick to fall into anything without proper discussions.
That was how they came to talk about a lot of stuff that neither of them mentioned much before. Things neither of them were all too keen on revisiting.
“It’s still at the back of my mind, you know?” Stiles said, leaning against the wall in Derek’s kitchen.
They somehow ended up sitting on the floor there, each with a bottle of beer in hand, talking quietly.
“I mean, I don’t think I’ll ever forget that it happened,” he added. “They’ve all forgiven me a long time ago, and I think I mostly forgave myself.”
“I didn’t,” Derek said, looking up from the bottle he had his eyes on. “There’s one thing I never will forgive myself for.”
“The fire,” Stiles whispered, because there was no doubt in his mind what Derek felt responsible for even after all the time that passed.
“Allison,” Derek countered just as quietly.
They both nodded, and silence filled the room.
It wasn’t the only conversation that they had about each other, but the fact that Derek didn’t do what everyone else did -- try to talk Stiles out of his feeling of guilt -- was one of the reasons that Stiles knew they’d work.
It’s been a few years since then, and Stiles still occasionally feels the weight of responsibility for the things that happened. When he does, Derek’s there to listen, the same way Stiles is there on anniversaries of the fire and Laura’s death. Because the guilt doesn’t go away, but the pain of it lessens when they’re together.