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The pale moonlight faded through the window of Dess’s room on the second floor of the Holiday house, sending pale white glowing streaks down her teal coloured carpet. Dess herself was curled into a ball on her bed, the dark purple sheets covered in dark deep violet stars were crumpled around the edge of the bed hanging over onto the floor leaving her sat against the bare mattress.
Dess’s chin was pressed against her jean clad knees as her eyes focused on a stain on the carpet that had suddenly become one of the most interesting things in her room. She could hear her parents arguing downstairs, well she could hear the sound of them arguing, the words themself were muffled through the floors and walls that it had to pass through to reach her ears.
She knew exactly what they were arguing about. Dess had snuck out a few hours ago, to an alley on the other side of town with a battered old backpack full of half empty brightly coloured spray paints rattling around but it was just her luck that Asriel found her… and Asriel was with Kris… who was also with Toriel.
Dess didn’t hate Toriel, she was like a second mother to her, a shoulder to cry on and a listening ear when she ever needed to get something out that she couldn’t tell her own parents. But when she was caught doing something she shouldn’t by Toriel Dreemur… It was as if she could physically see a storm cloud brewing overhead when her dark brown eyes met Toriel’s deep dark crimson ones.
Then she was caught in the eye of the storm the second she stepped back through the front door at seven. She was immediately greeted with the stern glare of her mother’s and the nervous worried expression of her father’s. After twenty minutes of arguing, yelling, cursing and reasoning she was sent to her room with a door slam that shook the foundation of the entire house.
Dess leaned her head back, it connected with the drywall with a solid thud. She was sick of this, sick of this house, her parents, this town, everything. She wanted bigger and better things in the world. Maybe being a member of a famous band with the fanciest, shiniest guitar of them all, or becoming a known artist with her work being considered as more than just vandalism, a crime or a waste of time.
Tears pricked the corners of Dess’s eyes as the argument downstairs seemed to get even more heated, they were always arguing because of her, what she’s done, who she’s fought with and how many times she’s been sent to detention or told off by Undyne that week. Every problem that the Holiday’s seemed to have always had a common denominator, Dess.
She pushed herself forward to have her hooves graze against the carpet. She was leaving, they’d have less problems without her being there.
Dess stood up, the mattress creaking as the weight left it and the sheets finally fell down to the floor with a light sounding thump. She kicked the sheets out of the way and further into the centre of the room as she went down to her knees and onto her side to squint through the darkness of the underside of her bed, she shoved away old crumpled music magazines and a few old textbooks that she probably should have burned by now and probably would have already if Noelle didn’t need them in the future. Behind all of the useless junk and old clothes were dark brown bottles.
One hand went for the alcohol while the other went for a shoulder bag that lay slumped on the side near the leg of the bed. Now the back of her bed is empty and the dark brown bookbag jingled and clinked with every slight movement of its strap or body as she slung it over her shoulder.
She was standing by the window now, staring out at the dark backyard beneath her second floor view, the tree whose branches would always smack against the glass at the slightest breeze, the constant tapping would always keep her awake nearly every night. Tonight though, tonight instead of irritating her, this nuisance of a tree would help her.
She creaked open the window and placed one dark black hoof onto the frame, both of her hands onto the top of the open window closing around the side and using her grip to pull her body up onto the window sill the cold night breeze blew through the air, slightly rustling her choppy chestnut hair.
Dess threw herself forward, the large tree branch squeaked under the new weight of a whole teenager landing on it, the beer bottles in her bag clattered together as it slammed into her side, Dess winced and slowly shifted herself towards the trunk. She hooked her arms around the bark as she slipped down the large oak tree before she gave up and jumped down to the grass.
She was standing in her garden now which seemed to look a lot larger in the dark, her hands clutched around the strap of the heavy bottle filled bag as she began to creep her way around to the front of the house. Dess pressed herself up to the wall and shuffled carefully towards the fence, she could see the silhouettes of her parents arguing projected onto the grass from the kitchen window. She was just so sick of it.
By the time she reached the front gate she was entirely fed up, Dess didn’t even particularly care about the creaking of the rusty hinges, she just needed a break from it all at this point.
Dess gently slammed the gate behind her as she breathed out deeply, tilting her head up towards the sky to stare at the vast navy night sky with the occasional very bright white dots of stars breaking through the darkness.
When she dropped her head back down to its normal level she only had plans to go to one place tonight. One step after enough her hoofs clopped against the dark pavement interrupting the silence of the night. The dark streets were illuminated by streetlamps on the edge of almost every other house around Hometown. Dess pulled her flannel closer around her to keep herself a tad bit warmer from the nightly chill.
It took her ten minutes to reach the amber coloured leaf filled tree line, then five more to break through it to be greeted with the still inky deep blue water shimmering with the light of the moon beating down on it, wet copper coloured leaves were speckled across its surface, it was the most peaceful thing that she’d seen in a while compared to all the hell she’d dealt with today.
Dess slumped down on the beige dirt path about an inch from the water, she slumped the bookbag from her shoulder, dragging the sleeve of her flannel down from her arm, leaving it bare and exposed to the cold air.
She unbuckled the barely hanging on button clasp of the bag and pulled the top cover all the way open until the moonlight shined off the medium brown surfaces of the bottles in the bag. Dess grabbed one, watching as the liquid inside sloshed around. Her other hand clutched a nearby rock and it raised to whack it against the cap, once, twice, three times- the bottle cap popped off into the air and landed onto the pebbles with a clatter. Dess threw the rock over her shoulder as she took a swig of the beer.
The liquid swished its way down her throat with a slight burn. Dess has shoplifted the beers from the shop. The person behind the counter was some overworked person a year older than Dess who didn’t even seem particularly affected by someone actively stealing from their job. It didn’t phase Dess either, she got a free six pack out of the exchange.
She’d left her under her bed for almost a week now so the beer was lukewarm and a bit hard to swallow. It made her gag slightly but she drinks to forget so she can forget about the disgusting taste while she’s at it.
Bottle after bottle she felt more out of it, slightly blurred vision and she felt wobbly even though she was sat down, she’d probably already be face down in the dirt if she attempted to stand. After every time she finished one she’d throw it against the water like someone attempting to skim stones against the salty waves of the beach
The alcohol made her dizzy but it also made her upset. It brought back her thoughts from earlier, she seemed to cause her parents nothing but worry and disappointment for almost every single hour of every day. There was never a day where she didn’t get into an argument with her mother about something she’d done
Dess bit her lip, the tang of blood circulated through her mouth from the slit in her lip, her eyes focused on the most recent bottle she’d swung into the lake, she watched as it slowly began to fill with water and begin to sink.
Sinking. She’d always want to sink into the shadows and make it out of here to start anew with new people, no expectations and people who would actually appreciate her for the art she tries so hard to make.
She’d tried really hard to keep the thoughts to herself, when she thought too hard about how much she hated everything it made her mad, it made her want to die and when she’d get mad she’d take it out on herself, under her brown fur her skin was littered with scars old and new, fresh and healed.
Dess hobbled to her feet as the last of the alcohol seemed to make its way to her brain. She kicked a rock into the lake watching as it plunked beneath the dark surface. She swayed on her feet as she blankly stared out towards the distance.
“Hometown can kiss my ass!” Dess yelled out to no one in particular, the only people who could hear her out here were the bugs under the rocks and whatever lived in the woods.
“I’m gonna leave this shitty town and never come back!” She threw her arms in the air as she turned her back on the lake
“I don’t need anyone or anything from here!” She took a step back, her hoof caught on a particularly large rock and she fell back, Dess hit the surface of the lake with a splash and almost immediately went under.
Dess’s eyes were wide as air bubbles frantically flew out from her mouth, moving to the surface at a faster pace than she could in her drunken state, every time she tried to kick her way up it seemed like she was getting further away.
The phone in the pocket of her flannel felt like it was weighing her down, trying to drag her to the depths of the lake
Her arms and legs swung frantically but also sluggishly as if the alcohol in her system was actively praying on her downfall.
The light from the moon was getting further away, leaving her in the dark depths of the lake with quickly diminishing amounts of oxygen in her lungs.
This was what she wanted, she wanted to sink into the darkness and she got what she wished for. She just wanted it to be of her own accord, not some stupid drunken accident that would make her parents even more shameful of her.
As her vision began to blur she wished it could have been different, maybe a noose or a bottle of her dad’s pills. Not a stupid lake that no one would find her body at the bottom of.
As the last little drop of air left her body in the smallest air bubble, everything went black