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Johnny was sitting on the couch in his and Peter’s apartment, scrolling through his socials, paying little attention to the show that played on the TV. It was around 9:30 when Peter had gone to their bedroom to take a nap, wanting to ‘recharge’ before going on patrol for the night. So, Johnny was left alone to keep himself occupied then.
Outside, rain splashed angrily against the apartment's windows, almost as if they were attempting to break the glass and flood the apartment. The rain was so loud that Johnny didn’t hear the soft shuffling of feet that were coming from his and Peter’s bedroom.
“Johnny?” A weak voice pitched out.
“Peter?” Johnny asked, shutting off his phone. “I thought you had gone to bed?”
“Are you busy right now?” Peter asked. His voice trembled.
“Never too busy for you, Peter. What’s up?” Concern laced Johnny’s voice as he fixed himself into a sitting position to make room for Peter to sit next to him.
Peter slowly made his way to join his boyfriend on the couch. However, walking to the couch felt like walking through quicksand. Each step made him shake. His breathing was labored, and overall, he just felt like shit.
But finally, Peter made it to the couch and sat down softly next to Johnny. His body shook with each shaky breath he took.
“Hey, hey,” Johnny quickly leaned forward, looking over at the boy. He quickly noted how disheveled and detached Peter looked. His hair was a sweaty mess, curls tangled together, droplets of sweat clinging to his hairline. His face was no better; his eyes were wide, and he seemed to be staring deeply into nothing. Alongside all of that, his lips were chapped and accompanied by a soft chatter from his teeth.
“What’s wrong, baby?” Johnny asked, softly placing a hand onto the boy's wrist.
Peter shook his head. “I just…” he trailed off, his mind deciding to focus on a blank spot on the wall.
“You just what Pete?” the blond asked, his concern only rising.
Peter forced his eyes to look back into Johnny’s bright, blue eyes.
God, he was really starting to hate those eyes now.
He took a breath. “It’s nothing, I’m sorry.” Peter turned to stand up and scurry off to the bedroom, but was quickly stopped by Johnny.
“No, none of that,” Johnny begged. “Please, talk to me. What happened?” The man reinstated, now holding Peter’s hands within his own.
The brunet looked down at their interlinked hands. His brain is spacing out again.
Jonathan noticed this and tried to find a way to get Peter to talk about what happened. “You were taking a nap in the bedroom, right?” He asked, trying to get himself to form an idea of what would have caused Peter to look this…rough.
Parker gave a gentle nod, his eyes still not looking up to acknowledge the other man.
The blond thought. What could have possibly happened in that room to make his boyfriend this upset? Sure, sometimes he would catch Peter sniffling in their bed after watching sad videos of people putting their pets down, or would catch him crying whenever they decided to put on The Notebook. But, Peter only ever got like this when he had a dream about-
When he dreamed about May and Tony.
It instantly clicked for Johnny.
“It’s always about her,” Peter said after realizing that Johnny pieced together what happened.
“God, Johnny, it’s always about her.” His voice broke as a few tears leaked from his eyes.
Johnny felt his heart break. He pulled his boyfriend into his arms, trying to squeeze out the boy’s sadness.
“I’m sorry, Peter, I’m so sorry,” he mumbled into the damp mess of curls.
Peter just sobbed softly into Johnny’s shirt, drenching it in his tears. But Johnny didn’t care. All that mattered to him was that his boyfriend, the love of his life, was hurting right now, and he’d do anything to fix it.
“It’s okay, baby, it’s gonna be okay. I’m here, I’m here, Pete,” he whispered to Peter as he rubbed gentle circles into the other man’s back.
Pete took a breath, trying to calm himself.
“It was the day she died. I tried to…I tried to pull her out…” Peter let out another sob. “The blood, Johnny, there was so much blood.” he broke down again, burying his head into the blond’s neck.
Johnny felt his heart break over and over again as Peter sobbed. He couldn’t bear seeing him like this.
“I just- I should’ve been able to save her. Why couldn’t I save her?” he sat up, attempting again to leave.
“Hey,” Johnny cooed, bringing the man back into his arms. “You tried. Okay? That's more than what most people can do. And Peter, you were just a kid; you can’t blame yourself.”
“I’m Spider-Man Johnny! I should’ve…It should’ve…”
Johnny knew where this was going.
“Pete,” he said softly. “Don’t say that. Please don’t say that. I know you miss her, and I know it hurts, but you have to give yourself some grace.”
Peter took a breath.
“Just focus on me, can you do that?” Johnny said, feeling Peter cling to him.
“Yeah, I…I can do that,” his chest feeling lighter.
“Okay, good.”
The pair stayed like that for a while, until Johnny sensed that Peter had calmed down enough to talk about his dream.
“How do you feel, baby?” Johnny asked, running his fingers through the drying curls.
“Better, actually.” Peter gave off a dry breath.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked, placing a soft kiss into Peter’s hair.
He swallowed. “I was in the building after it collapsed,” Peter began. “I was looking all over for her. I checked under every piece of rubble, and she just…” he wiped his eyes. “She wasn’t there; then there was this trail of blood I had to follow.” Peter bit his lip, the pain distracting him from his tears.
“When I saw her, I could hardly recognize her. I could only make out…I could only make out her expression and Johnny…” he took a breath.
“She looked so disappointed and disgusted with me.” Peter gasped out.
“I mean, I killed her, didn’t I? She died because I convinced her that we could save the Green Goblin."
“Peter, you need to take a breath, just one breath for me, baby, please,” Johnny begged as he felt Peter’s heart rate climb dangerously high again.
Peter’s chest shook as he tried to take in the oxygen around him. Slowly, it entered his nose and seconds later, left him.
“You see? It wasn’t so hard, was it?” The blond heard a dry chuckle come out from the boy under him.
Peter took a few more breaths, the slow rhythm soothing him.
The pair sat once again in silence for a few moments, allowing Peter to fully collect himself.
“I’m sorry.” The brunette's voice broke the fragile silence.
Johnny furrowed his brows. “You have nothing to be sorry for,” he said. “You didn’t do anything wrong. You just had a nightmare. That isn't your fault.” Johnny shifted himself so that he was now looking Peter in the eyes.
A beat passed.
“Can you promise me something?” Peter asked, his voice controlled.
“Of course, anything.” The other man nodded.
“Promise me, you won’t leave me. Not like…not like how everyone else did.”
Johnny froze. Time seemed to completely freeze around the couple. He knew what Peter meant. His boyfriend wasn’t asking him not to break up with him.
Peter was asking for Johnny not to die in front of him. To not forget him. To not abandon him just as the universe had.
Jonathan took a breath, steadied himself, and he already knew his answer.
“I won’t. Never in a million years. You’re stuck with me forever, Webs,” Peter smiled and leaned back into Johnny’s chest.
Maybe Peter’s night wouldn’t be so bad after all.