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"Why are you here?"
Purple doesn't even look away from the monitor. Click. Click. Click. Cameras are still grey, still fuzzy, still just barely functioning. As usual! Because this is just their life now. Sitting around and staring and doing nothing and being nothing. Thanks, Red! Thanks a lot for that!
The contest winner begins to stammer. As if they're not used to being questioned why they're here.
…Despite knowing the bare minimum of this crewmate, Purple suspects that to be extremely true.
"I-I—surely, I have a right to explore the ship! I—hah, I won the contest! I belong here! Anywhere!" White frets; the glow of the monitor shines on them from where they stand at the back wall, alert and nervous. "Plus!! There's tons of TVs. It's practically primetime, haha! So. I'm pretty sure I'm entitled to be wherever I want here."
Hm. Defensive. Sure reminds me of someone.
"And yet," drawls Purple, dropping their finger down from the top to click with emphasis, "you're here. Out of the way of everyone with tasks to do. The most boring place on the Skeld."
"Boring? Oh, no, no no—I wouldn't do boring." A pause. "—You don't think it's actually boring, do you? This is—well, you're here, so," White snorts, their tone reeking of the sort of patronizing attitude only the wealthy is capable of. (Ugh.) But it's with that same entitled certainty that they say "—clearly it's the safest place to be."
Purple's hand goes still on the mouse, just ever so slightly; they let out a disbelieving little scoff.
"You think you're safe with me?"
"Well. You're the security guard," says White.
"…"
"—I'm not getting in your way, am I?" White chuckles in a way so desperate to not sound awkward or sheepish.
"No, it's—" Purple abruptly takes a deep breath, pressing a hand to their forehead. They exhale; slow and slooping. "It's fine."
"Ookay," White replies, uncharacteristically meek. Purple considers this thought—the thought that they make White nervous. They revere this concept in their mind, a sardonic and bitter flavor tinging the edges—Purple. Purple making the upper class uncomfortable. Hah!
"You know what—" says Purple, standing up suddenly—pushing back their chair. White blinks to alertness, standing back. Purple shoots a grim look at them, exhaustion pressing shadows underneath their visor. "—how about we take a lunch break?"
"Oh! Um—sure. Yeah, sure. Definitely. Did you—uh, did you mean together? Because—well I'm perfectly fine with that!"
Purple just grunts in response, already out the door.
White follows along, continuing to talk. "Back at home, I'd probably bring us to somewhere better—seriously, I can't believe they only make pizza here. There's this cutesy little bistro in my city, real classy stuff—I honestly didn't expect it, considering how small it was. But I gave it a chance, and wow! It totally surprised me! You'd be surprised too—!"
Purple lets out a short exhale. "Jeez, are you addicted to the sound of your voice or something?"
White gasps in what is actually earnest delight—like this is a nice, friendly observation Purple is making here.
"Why, yes I am!"
"I couldn't tell," Purple replies, now genuinely wondering if White can pick up on sarcasm.
"People tell me I have a nice voice," they grin.
"I'm sure they do."
White is blushing a little, which is... interesting.
Whether or not they got it, White takes it as a greenlight to talk about the other fancy restaurants they've been to. For an annoying capitalist, White is refreshingly transparent—which is a statement Purple kinda hates to say. Once they realize the faint half-smile on their face, they cover it in alarmed instinct.
Purple doesn't even like White. They've just decided—literally just right now—that White is vaguely tolerable.
And—well. White rambles. They brag about themself as natural as breathing. They've got kind of an ego thing going on, but they're following Purple to the cafeteria and was hiding out in Security because they didn't know where else to go. And Purple can just see that it's true, that this isn't some facade. The naivety is annoying for someone of their background, but it's still naivety, and there's something about the innocence in how White decides to trust Purple—even if implicitly.
—Trust? God, no, that's not it—Purple is making this more complicated than it actually is. It's simple: White is a (rich!) passenger, and Purple is staff. Obviously they would go to them for help. This is their job. Purple is just… thinking of old times.
There. Fixed! Purple is back to frowning.
They grab their lunch and take a seat at one of the tables. White returns by their side with their complex pizza order. They don't stop talking, and having a varied pattern of noise is an interesting change from the low hum of the computers in Security, so Purple kinda finds themself actually listening.
But then the door flings open, and the peace is destroyed.
"P-P-P-P-P-Puuuuuuurps!!"
Oh no.
Purple groans, slowly starting to slink under the table.
Red looks around in confusion. "Huh? Where's Purple? I could've sworn I sensed them here…"
"Sensed?" asks Green, who accompanied Red into the cafeteria.
"Captain's sense, obviously," answers Red.
"Right, of course!" Green scribbles down captain's senses - Purple radar in their notepad.
"Ooh! Here! Here! Over here!" White excitedly waves down Red and Green. "We're over here!"
"Noooooo…" says Purple. This is really starting to feel like high school lunch periods.
Green lights up when they see White, and the sound of footsteps indicate that Green and Red are coming over to their table. This is only confirmed when a pair of red crocs are practically shoved into Purple's face from where they're hunched underneath the table.
"Eugh," Purple recoils. They spot Cyan yammering to an unappreciative Black, and think about how they would kill to be sit at that table right now.
"White! How's it been?" exclaims Green. "You're lucky you don't have any tasks to do… gosh, it must be fun getting to roam around the ship!"
"Ah, haha, yes! Roaming around the ship, with no practical purpose or anything to contribute to the team. It's been absolutely enlightening!" White chuckles, swirling their wine glass that they just magically spawned in somehow at some point in time. "How's it like, um—internning?"
"Oh, well—I've been shadowing the Captain, heh! And I think it's been going pretty good—erm, would you… would you say the same, Captain?" Green asks, looking to Red with a hopeful expression.
"Um, yeah it's been great or whatever," says Red, squinting as they glance around the area. "Sorry, you said Purple was here?"
"Yeah, we got our lunch together," replies White, taking a sip from their glass. This is more of a statement than a boast, but you wouldn't be able to tell with the way Red's fingers grip the edge of the table.
"I… see," says Red. "So, uh. Where are they?"
"Under the table," states White.
"What?" says Red, frowning.
Godammit, White.
Red ducks under the table to take a look then.
Purple is, in fact, there.
"Yo." A two-finger salute.
Red snorts, halfway between bemused and endeared. "Purple. Seriously?"
"Shut up," Purple grits out, flushing as they crawl out and take their seat. "I dropped… something."
"You dropped something," says Red.
"Yeah, I dropped—" starts Purple. "I dropped my… birthday gift. For Joshie."
"How could I forget? Your cool cousin—-"
"MY cool cousin—"
"—Josh—"
"—Yeah, my—COOL COUSIN. Joshie. My cool co—"
"Your cool cousin Jo—"
"MY COOL COUSIN JOSHIE."
"Yeah, that's what I was saying."
"Well, I was saying it first."
Red makes some weird low angry sound.
Purple growls back, clenching their fist. White's visor goes wide when they glance back and forth between them.
"Woof," says White. "Wouldn't wanna do an escape room with you two. I mean, that's like—I'm not even escaping the room, I'm escaping you guys. Haha! Ha... ha…"
"…"
"…"
"Is… everything alright here?" Green asks tentatively.
"Everything," Red smiles. "Is just fine. In fact. Green! How about you go grab us some lunch!"
"Uh, sure! Right away, Captain!"
So Green is off to do that, leaving White with Red and Purple.
White clears their throat. "Uh, I was just telling Purple about this amazing steakhouse back home…"
"The hell?" Red startles—snarling, then slamming their fist on the table.
"What??" replies Purple, agitated and angry and a hint of taunting. "What is it, captain?!"
"For god's sake—White, go help out Green. Now."
"But I'm not—"
"Captain's orders," seethes Red.
"Eep!"
White shoots up and clambers over to where Green is. Green, whose face is painted in wide concern, is wildly pointing around and gesturing to them, as if they were playing some kind of crazy sport that requires White to scramble back to Green (away from their crazy Captain and Guard!) to complete some sort of objective.
(White slides to Green just in time. Home run!)
Meanwhile, at the table.
"Redsy," Purple drawls. The word is stretched in disdain and coated with an agonizingly faux sweetness.
"Purple," says Red, simple and clean. "—Purps."
They stare at each other, somehow doing the opposite of having a conversation through visor contact (just mindless angry staring??), and it doesn't take long for the moment of silence to snap.
"So, what's all this?"
"What's what."
"You know what," scoffs Red. "Don't make me say it."
"Make you say what, Red."
"I'm not saying anything! I'm just observing. I'm making an observation, as your captain. And as your captain, I make the observation that you just haaappen to always be running around with the nearest emotionally available pretty young thing."
"Excuse me?!"
"Don't think I don't notice you and Cyan. And now White?!"
"Oh, nonono—" Purple barks out a short, manic laugh. "Oh, hell, no."
"I—"
Purple firmly brings their fist down on the table. "So what? I can't take a break from my job?! I can't talk to people now? I can't have a chat with my mates?!"
"You're not just having a chat, they were practically all over you!!"
"Do you hear yourself?! Do you hear how WRONG and STUPID and HYPOCRITICAL and STUPID you sound?! Oh my god! Even if I WERE doing what you're describing, and slacking on the job—WHICH I'M NOT! Then you can't be acting like you don't do the EXACT. Same. Thing. With Green."
"Oh yeah, and what would that be."
"Oooh, Captain, you're so brave and strong! Captain, do you need help with that? Do you want a drink? Ooooo!!"
"Oh, okay, okay, then sure! Sureeeee! So you're all mad at me for working with MIRA, fine. But then you turn around to White and it's suddenly OKAY to benefit from capitalism! Suddenly it's OKAY to be nice to your supposed ENEMY! Where was that kinda treatment for ME?! You know, the one you actually go way back with?! But, ohhh, noooo, let's go cozy up with White instead!"
"Yeah, yeah—nice try, dolt! As if Green isn't your cute little replacement for me—a peppy intern with a can-do attitude that just adores you? Gee, don't that just sound familiar?! Well, news flash, Red! That Purple is dead, and you're never getting them back!"
"You—you're so difficult, god! You know I'm trying my best, right? I'm doing everything I can. Because I'm the Captain. I'm the Captain that Cap-CAN."
Purple groans. That's so MIRA. "Do you have any idea how stupid you sound right now."
"And do you have any idea of how much responsibility's on me?!" Red shoots back. "Sure, we're not interns anymore, but—"
"—You killed that me, Red. You hear that?! You killed that version of me, and no matter what you do, you can't change what you did. So—HAH! CHECK! AND! MATE! I! FUCKING! WIN!!"
"Well, consider your check, UN-mated. Because this is NOT!! OVER!!"
White timidly pops over to the table. "H-Hey, we just wanted to check what toppings you—"
Red and Purple whip around in unison. "SHUT UP!!"
"Yup, yup, okay, got it!" White sweats, scurrying back to Green.
"Wow, Purps. That's no way to speak to your new friend."
"Oh, Redsy, can you call yourself any better? Asking Green to get your food… I mean," Purple sucks in a condenscending breath. "Gosh, that's almost as low as asking a casual work acquaintance to help you move in your furniture…"
Red's visor twitches. "Really."
"Really! So. Hah!"
"Hah, yourself," snips Red.
"I'd rather, hah, not!" retorts Purple.
"Nuh—hah—uh!"
"I. Will. Gut you!……Hah!"
"You. Couldn't. If. You. Tried…………..Ha-HAH!"
"Could. Not."
"Could. Too."
"Definitely. Could. Not."
"Totally. TOTALLY. Could."
"The. Pizza. Is. Here," Green announces, sliding the pizza onto the table.
Green and White take their seats, but for some reason, Red and Purple immediately get up to leave in opposites directions; scowling as they refuse to break eye contact while walking away and making rude gestures at each other. Which, of course, means they end up walking backwards (and maybe bumping into a table on the way) to their respective entryways.
"You gotta go, Red. You gotta go," hisses Purple.
"Purple, Purple, Purple." Red wags their finger at them. "When will you learn?1 Wheeeen will youuuuu leaaaaaaarn…" Red says, shaking their head with a pitying disapproval.
Purple and Red are technically gone now, but the ringing in Green and White's (and quite possibly everyone else who is here) heads makes it feel like they're still here yelling at each other.
"Uhhhhhh," drawls White, drumming their fingers on the table. "So. The, uh. The internship is good?"
"Um, it's alright," Green shrugs weakly, "I guess."
White gets the bright idea of fanning their hands, presenting the food with a corny flourish. "Pizza!"
"PIZZA!" Green copies, a bit in hysterics. "Yeah!!!"