Chapter Text
One thing that Sharpness Conexion knew was that money is the root of everything. It controls your lifestyle, your job, everything. Money is the source of power.
Well, that’s what the Ted talk said.
But when you're Sharpness and have the financial literacy as a kid who got forced to do their father’s quickbook, you understand that maybe money is quite literally power. And that taxes suck.
That’s why he found himself searching for a job that doesn’t exist, because college sure isn’t paying itself. Sure, he was on full ride with his scholarships, but damn did dorm expenses go up.
So when Sharp heard from a little annoying gnat (ie. Tai) that he was taking in workers for his ice cream shop once again, Sharpness agreed. It had been a while since Tai had started it, maybe a few months or so. Initially, Sharpness didn’t agree for fear that it would just flop and no one would go there, but then it proved his theory (replace that with idk) wrong.
At first when its opening was announced, Tai’s friends laughed. It was a ridiculous idea. An ice cream shop, near campus? That’s almost as good as the arrow railgun Tai had made. Ice cream versus the cozy and overpriced cafes littering the streets nearby, it was clear who was going to win. But nope, Strength Creamery proved them wrong. They shot up in popularity after it opened, with its creamy desserts and chill (no pun intended) atmosphere. Call it a genuine rip off of Baskin Robbins, but it was just cheaper.
That day, when he found out about the existence of said store, Sharp was lazing around in his apartment, bored out of his mind. He was leaning against the counter, absent mindedly swirling his protein shake, thinking about world domination, when he was interrupted with a call.
.
.
.
Ringggg
“Hello?” Sharpness answered, pausing his train of thoughts.
“Hey Sharp! It’s me, Tai.”
Oh great. Sharp internally groaned.
“I was wondering if you wanted to work at my new ice cream shop!” Tai chirped. A giggle and the scratching of pencils in the background could be heard.
“I’ll even give og perks.”
“Like…?”
“NOT minimum wage, more flexible schedule, access to the secret box in the back, the wifi password. Like it’s awesome bro.”
Sharp thought for a moment. On one hand, this would be like an instant job served on a silver platter. No more would be the days in high school where he had to apply just to get ghosted for 5 months. But on the other hand, this location of the shop was a tad bit.. iffy. It was hidden in a nook between a supermarket and a discount store. Quite well hidden too, where it would be more of a local known place.
Also, it was Tai, where more than half of his ideas turned out bad. (Ahem, cough, cough, the balloon cat idea.) And with that, Sharpness made up his mind.
“Sorry, Tai.” Sharpness sighed. “I’ll pass.”
Tai whined. “Awww.. but Sharppp. I really need some workers, and your, like, the perfect fit. Your face would instantly attract more customers at the opening and so on.” A scoff could be heard from the other side. “It’s like an inf money glitch, bro!”
“Yeah, sure.”
“Also, you can eat free ice cream, and and, like, get more extra money, and work under the king of- wha- HEY–!” The line suddenly began glitching out, and sounds of a scuffle and shouts of irritation rang in the air.
Sharpness reared his head back from his phone, and just deadpanned at the screen, like it would do something to stop the awful racket of noise. This lasted for a good half minute, before an out of breath voice came through the speaker.
“Hey Sharp! It’s Rejoice here.” The voice said, WAY too cheerful for just committing assault. Tai’s yelps of anger served as their background noise. Whatever it was, Sharp did NOT want to be in Tai’s place. Rejoice’s teasing sometimes went a bit.. too far.
“I have a proposal for you.”
Sharp hummed in acknowledgement.
“How about this. Since little tweeny beanie Tai right here,” Sharpness heard a muffled squawk of protest from the other line. “wants you to work for him so badly, how about I work till, say, I get too busy, then you work in my place? It’s like we are switching positions, between dormant and active.”
That.. didn’t seem like a bad idea at all. Sure, there were some holes in their plan, and usually this isn’t something done in the work industry, but Tai was the owner, which meant he also did the schedule. So theoretically they could, right?
“Well, what do you say?” The little sunny devil prompted. Some queer-platonic-maybe-homosexual scuffle could be heard in the background before it died out. That does NOT mean well. For Sharpness’s ears or for Tai’s dignity, Sharpness needs to end this call.
“And they said it was a ‘study date.’” grumbled Tai's muffled voice through the call.
“They also said it was going to be a rabbit hunt if you don't agree to this deal.”
“Fuck you??”
“Yeah, yeah.” Sharp agreed, ignoring the other two. “Sounds like a good plan.”
“Fuck you, Sharpness.” Tai proclaimed.
“Awsome! Tai will text you all the details later. Bye then!”
Rejoice hung up, then trailed his eyes down towards the voidling he was sitting on. The one at the bottom was sprawled out, face down, on the floor of Tai and N00b’s apartment. Trapped underneath Rejoice and between his legs, Tai gave a weak buckle in another attempt to throw Rejoice off of him. The latter only giggled.
Oh, they were going to have fun.
“You know what happens now, right?”
Tai gulped at the look from the wolf in sheep's clothing above him. Rejoice’s gaze looked predatory, full of his definition of “fun”. Tai could already imagine the “adventures” that Rejoice would take him on. He shuddered at the inevitable hectic math problems and riddles that would come just for a stupid prize from Five Below and his hoodie back.
“Uhm..R-rejoice..?” Tai stammered, eyes blown wide in fear.
Rejoice only grinned. His hands were already reaching for a nearby notepad.
“Ready to get excited?”
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Safe to say that Tai was down a 100$ by the end of the week.
That’s how Sharpness found himself pushing open the glass doors to the Strength Creamery to turn in his stupid application form. He had expected Tai to just shove him in and call it a day, but nope! He had to do it the whole normal way but with blackmailing behind the scenes.
Rejoice had texted him a month prior so he could draft up his application, right before yelling toodle doo! And frolicking off into the sunset.
Sharpness was in the local market (was it local if it was Unstable?) at the time and had been searching for another carton of food dye, and his anger between getting lost in the aisle between detergents and wine and dropping his box from the notification sound certainly didn’t help his response. Rejoice got a few.. not pleasant voice messages later.
(Not to mention, he bumped into a redstone covered rabbit hybrid too. It was near impossible to wash the red dust out of his luscious hair. Thanks a lot, purple guy. Was that day just truly the worst day ever?)
(Speaking of purple guy, Sharpness made sure to rub some of the redstone on his younger brother when he got home. At least that cheered him up.)
As soon as he opened the door, Sharpness was greeted with black brick stoned walls, complete with dark red accents near the open ceiling. A long line of counters and glass cabinets were perpendicular to the door, a dark gray wooden board blocking the view on the inside from the front. Tables and chairs were scattered along the sides of the wall and against the floor to ceiling windows. A large chalkboard, covered in little doodles, ads, and drawings, was hanging on the wall to Sharp’s left. The roof was open, fairy lights strung everywhere in a grid fashion while the occasional vine peeped through. The entire store seemed to be clad in a dark grey and red pallet, leading it to look like a Victorian factory. The board read in the most aggressive red to mankind,
WELCOME TO STRENGTH CREAMERY!!!! :D
His ponytail swished from side to side behind him as he walked up to the counter. Someone with scruffy brown hair and a.. glowing red eye?? looked up and grinned.
(Is Sharpness hallucinating, or did that guy’s eye widen for a fraction? Yup, going crazy.)
“Hi there, welcome in!” The red eye dude chirped, seemingly unbothered. “What can I get for you today?”
Sharpness’ eyes fell on red eye dude’s (wow creative name I know) sticker covered nametag. “N00b >:D” it read. Interesting name, but Sharpness wasn’t the one to judge. He fiddled with the edge of his form.
“Yeah.. uhm I’m here to turn in my application..?”
N00b hummed. “Oh, did Tai recruit you?”
“Yeah lol.”
“Damn, that's rough. Anyways, I’ll take it and then give it to the own-”
SLAM!
The two whipped their heads to the interruption. A rabbit hybrid clad in purple EVERYTHING (his collared shirt, his apron adorned with bonnie pins, his near black slacks) was standing there with a neon green rectangle tray thing of some sorts, staring at the dipping cabinet in shock.
“Oh shit, my bad.” The bonnie wannabe gasped. Sharpness blinked, perplexed. No way someone could be THAT purple, right? Either this guy has a deadly obsession with purple and fnaf, or he’s secretly an animatronic.
“Dude.” N00b deadpanned. “You’re the one that dropped the lid. Why are you shocked.”
“IT WAS AN ACCIDENT??” Purple rabbit dude shrieked as he opened it back up.
“Dalright bro. Anyways, sorry for Bonnie wannabe over there.”
Wow, Sharpness though. At least I'm not the only one who shares the same thoughts on this guy.
Sharpness let out a weak laugh. “Eh, it’s fine. Here's my application though.” He said, handing said form over.
N00b took it over and quickly scanned it. He slid it to somewhere Sharpness couldn’t see and gave him an even brighter smile. Damn that guy smiles too much.
Sharpness wonders, either he was just too whimsical (N00b looked half dead. Rip exam season) or its a facade for more tips.
Is he going to end up like that too? The blonde shuddered. Scary.
“Well.. I guess I'm just gonna go now..” Sharpness mumbled. “Have a good day.”
“Have a good, good, day to you too sir!!!!”
DAMN, did that guy want tips that badly. Well, he made like a tree and leaved. Sharpness may have the worst jokes in history, but he knew his job was done in that store. As he scurries out of there, pushing open the glass doors and running away like a little anime girl, he misses a mop of purple hair peeking out from behind the metal flash freezer.
“Psst…Hey N00b.”
The mentioned dropped his customer service face and rolled his eyes from his position leaning on the counter.
“Yes Jude, hot guy-girl just disappeared on his super duper cool motorcycle that could get into 5 car crashes and still have aura.”
“...so was that your supermarket guy?”
The rabbit hybrid spluttered. “Wel-well like, sure, I only like see him, uh, in the like, market? He’s not MINE bro.” Jude narrowed his eyes. “Wait, aren't you supposed to be cleaning the blender right now?”
“Uhh..haha..yeah.. so like, where is Pierce? He’s supposed to pick up leekleek’s shift after leek got sick.” N00b stammered, trying to get out of cleaning the blenders. He brushed a stray sprinkle off of the metal counter he was leaning on.
“Probably late.” Jude shrugged. “But dude, Mugm is gonna quickdrop you if you don't clean those blenders. He’s been complaining about how the lid looks like someone barfed in there.”
“Yeah, just tell me about your supermarket love affair first?”
“SHUT UP ABOUT HIM HE'S NOT MY LOVER.”
N00b snickered. Maybe ragebaiting Jude would get him out of actually doing anything.
“Yeah, like you didn’t fumble the lid and slammed it down and hurt your pwoor, pwoor, lover’s ears, wow Jude, I didn’t know you could be this heartless.”
“Heartless?! I’m only heart-less because I put all of my love chips on that guy! All or nothing they say.”
N00b scoffed. “Yeah and 99% of gamblers quit before they hit a big win.” (oooh subtle foreshadowing lol)
“Yeah, I'm gonna win big bro.”
“Tell that to me whenever you and, what’s his name?” N00b pulled out the received application form. He squinted at it like his 2020 vision suddenly turned into garbage.
“Sharpness Conexion? Yeah, this right here, prime time for the start of a legendary ship name.”
“Shut uppppp.” Jude drawled, yanking on his hanging ears. He repeated it like a matra, spinning in circles as if this weird looking ritual would actually get N00b to shut up. Too bad N00b hates making milkshakes.
“Shut upp..shut uppp.. Shut uppp… OH SHIT.”
Judelow rushed back to his station, where an ice cream cake had been slowly melting from neglectance. Throwing open the flash freezer and shoving it in, Jude breathed a sigh of relief.
“Damnit, N00b. Your yapping would have made me melt this stupid cake.” Jude grumbled.
“I mean like I guess bro.”
“Just shut up will you?”
“Yeah and you lock in bro. I see a customer coming.” N00b responded, already putting back on his facade and turning towards the lady who looked like she was going to bust a nut right then and there. The two of them got back to their duties, working their shift till salvation came in the form of PierceTV and Lopezz.
As Jude walked to the walk-in freezer, retying his apron, he thought about his new found knowledge.
Sharpness, huh? That name sounded right on his lips.
Jude smiled. His supermarket dream boy might not be a fantasy after all.